In Your Room
by LayAtHomeMom
Summary: After years of bedroom boredom with Missionary Mike, can Bella find the sexual salvation she's seeking in the arms of campus hottie, Edward Cullen? Rated M for Edward's dirty mouth, Bella's inner whore, embarrassing situations and lemons galore…
1. Chapter 1

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight ****- I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Song inspiration for this entire fic is In Your Room by the Bangles - yes I am that old and yes it is _still_ that awesome. **

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Chapter 1 – Sex on Fire

Ungrateful. Unappreciative. Unappeasable. Undeserving. With each thrust, the adjectives that could be used to describe me were becoming more unpleasant and harder to ignore. I slowly opened my eyes to take in the sights and sounds of the room. My eyes first settle on the ensuing water damage from a burst pipe our freshman year. Given that I am on my back exactly three times a week on this bed, I can confidently report that there are 8 tiles that are severely discolored accounting for 27% of the ceiling damage – yeah, I have that kind of time down here. A Glade Tropical Mango candle is burning on the mini fridge as always – a clever aphrodisiac taken from his parents' basement; he is nothing if not thorough. Apparently, he has chosen Kings of Leon's _Sex on Fire _as the soundtrack to our afternoon delight. The music is just quiet enough that I can hear his low moans and the soft sounds of skin slapping. Oddly, the music is also just loud enough that I feel as though the Followill brothers are personally mocking me with their tales of wild exploits and smoking hot sexy times.

I am broken out of my thoughts by a soft groan and a palm gently seizing my left breast. His eyes meet mine expectantly and I take this as my cue to either compliment his sexual prowess or make some sort of declaration on how _amazing_ our connection is. This isn't my first rodeo, so I go with the standard lip bite followed by an eye flutter, topped off with a reverent whisper of his name – "_Mike_".

We were Mike and Bella. We were that couple that you can't help but compare your relationship to just to see if you and your significant other measure up. High school sweethearts, we've been together for a little over 2 years. On paper we were nothing short of perfection. Off paper, _Mike_ is nothing short of perfection. From nearly any perspective, I suspect that he would be the ideal man, mate, friend, husband or father. Physically, he is adorable with his all -American boy looks. Dirty blonde hair, brilliant blue eyes and a smile that makes you feel like it was smiled only for you. But more than just the dashing good looks – Mike Newton was good right down to the core.

I am certain there are countless adjectives that I could use to describe how wonderful he is, but in truth, they would never seem to do him justice. He is the kind of guy who would rub your feet as you recount your day from hell. He is the type of person who wakes up every morning thinking of ways to put a smile on your face or make your day better. He is the kind of man who looks on in awe at you as you come down the aisle towards him in your wedding dress with a smile that tells you that he couldn't be more proud that you chose to love him too. He is the guy who kisses you reverently and expresses how grateful he is that you gave him this most precious gift as he holds his newborn baby in his arms.

Once again I am snapped out of my haze by a deep groan and Mike gripping my hips just a little tighter. His thrusts come faster now as he buries his head into the crook of my neck. He peppers my throat with long, loud kisses and whispers, "Bella baby, are you close?"

That lets me know that I have T-minus 30 seconds and counting to join him in the promise land. Given that he has never personally escorted me to said promise land (or any measurable distance to it) – I decide a little _When Harry Met Sally_ is in order. Another lip bite, shut eyes tightly, a panted "yes", a breathy moan, three kegels, a leg tremble and a firm ass grab sinking him deeper inside of me and voila – the Oscar for Best Simulated Orgasm goes to…Bella Swan.

After about a minute of afterglow, he slides off the bed and puts on his briefs. "That was amazing" he says, smiling.

"Yeah" I say, trying to match his enthusiasm. I think I miss the mark so I lie and add, "The best."

Our eyes meet and for a brief second his facial expression is one of suspicion. He is quick to mask it with a dazzling smile – the seemingly errant thought forgotten for which I am grateful. As we dress, we go over what we have going on for the week and make plans to have lunch after class the following day. I slip on my backpack and turn to kiss him goodbye.

He catches me off guard when I turn to see his hesitant expression. "Bella is - is everything alright?" he quietly asks. Then, as he steels himself to meet my eyes he finishes with, "You seem a little off. Preoccupied or something..."

I suck in a breath and start shaking my head furiously. I try to give him a reassuring smile, though I am sure it comes out looking like a grimace. While I try to come up with an excuse for my preoccupation that wouldn't make him want to slit his wrists, my inner whore condescendingly offers her thoughts. _Hmm… Uh,_ y_es, Michael. I am a little off because my boyfriend is absolutely clueless as to how to pleasure me in the bedroom. He is blissfully unaware that I am utterly unfulfilled and doesn't take kindly to hints of foreplay or other positions._ _How about instead of telling me how beautiful and amazing I am, you show your appreciation by grazing a nipple or acknowledging the fact that I have a clitoris. _She's a bit harsh, so I opt to err on the side of kindness.

"I'm sorry Mike – I guess I am a little out of it. I didn't sleep well last night." I lie again. "No worries, baby."

Relief washes over his face as he steps forward to place a reverent kiss on my forehead and rubs his hands up and down my arms reassuringly.

Naturally I lean into his embrace. It's warm and familiar, easy as breathing. It makes me hate myself more for dwelling on it not being enough. When did I become so selfish? I need to get out of here before I can work myself further down the shame spiral. Just as I am about to make my getaway, he tips my head up and places an eager kiss on my lips. There is something different about this kiss and I can't seem to put my finger on it. This kiss is fervent, but hesitant – like it is searching for something. Surely I am overanalyzing this right? I try to match his enthusiasm to reassure him and myself that this too shall pass. We end the kiss with soft pecks and loving smiles.

"Alright, I need to get out of here so I can read a chapter before my next class. Tanya is probably wondering where the hell I am. See you tomorrow for lunch?" I say while secretly praying that he takes note of my hopeful inflection as opposed to my awkward exit strategy.

"You have Human Sexuality after this right?" He chuckles and continues, "I'll bet Tanya is never late to that class. She could probably teach it." He raises his eyebrows a couple of times just to make sure I caught on to his subtle, like a rock, back handed compliment.

I roll my eyes and shake my head and begin, "Mike…"

"I know, I know" holding his hands up in protest "She's one of the best people you know, good heart, good friend, I get it." he defends himself before I can read him the riot act.

I draw my lips into a hard line as I pull the door knob letting him know that his little retort didn't excuse the shitty commentary on my friend.

"Have a good day, Mike" I manage to spit at him in the most biting tone I can muster as I turn to walk out the door.

Three steps into the hallway, Mike leans his head out of his door way and calls me, "Bells!"

I turn to find him sporting a somewhat more remorseful expression.

"Really, I am sorry. I know she is a good person and I know what she means to you. I was really just making an awful joke. Forgive me, babe?"

I give him a curt nod, a short wave and a half-assed smile as I make my way down the hallway of his dorm. Thankfully he drops it. That was another great thing about Mike - he didn't hover.

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**A/N… We'll meet Edward next chapter and learn a bit more about Mike's sexual shortcomings… Poor Bella, there is nothing more sad than a good guy who's bad in bed.**

**Fic Recs – Anything written by LovinRob and/or AmandaC3. Between the two of them, their writing has made me laugh hysterically, cry hysterically, happy, sad, crazy horny, crazy angry, and last but not least (LovinRob) – knocked up with twins after agreeing to a vasectomy! Nothing says good fic like an accidental pregnancy, right?**

**I plan on posting on Thursday and Sunday evenings so if you're down for Edward and Bella to hop on the good foot and do the bad thing - please put this story on alert. **

**Thoughts go out to those affected by Hurricane Sandy - hope you are all safe and well!**

**Feel free to hit me up with a review if you like! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Feelin' Love

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Let's meet Edward and Emmett…**

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Chapter 2 – Feelin' Love

The fresh air feels so good once I exit his dorm. Normally I am not a fan of the biting chill my ten-minute walk across the quad brings, but today I welcome it. I was suffocating in there. In addition to the mounting guilt I had over being dissatisfied – I am continually becoming overwhelmed with the embarrassment of being shot down when I try to take our sexual experiences to the next level.

I recall my first attempt to tackle the position change hurdle. I tried to take the straight approach and straddled his lap in an effort to grind down on his dick all the while moaning like a whore and seductively begging him to "touch me". He stared at me blankly with his jaw slack for about 30 seconds before he informed me that he couldn't get comfortable in this position. And by comfortable, I suspect that was code for "an erection".

I regrouped from the brutal rebuff and came back at him a week later with another attempt at non-missionary seduction. I slowly, but confidently walked into his dorm room and promptly began stripping off my clothes, making eye contact the entire way. He was sitting at his desk looking at me with a curious expression. Maybe this should have been my first clue that he wasn't into being seduced. With my confidence still high, I climbed onto his bed on my hands and knees and crawled towards the headboard. I turned my head around to face him, hopeful that he would find the view enticing. Needless to say, he didn't find the view enticing because apparently it wasn't sexy – it was hysterical. He furthered my mortification by questioning what I was doing between barking laughs and tears running down his face. Horrified, I explained that I was just trying to be sexy for him and I that I wanted to please him. Once he was able to pull himself together, he further supplemented my humiliation with his reassurances.

"_Jesus Bells, what were you thinking?" he asks incredulously. When his laughter dies down, he whispers softly while tilting my shame filled eyes to meet his. "That's not you, baby. You're my love, not my whore. You are perfect to me and I don't want you to be someone you're not."_

Sighing to myself, I snap out of my reverie. I decide to distract myself from the situation, shuffling through my backpack in search of my iPod. I slip in my ear-buds and start searching for the perfect playlist to snap me out of this funk. Tanya, Rose and I have taken to creating situational playlists. For example, we created the Ladies Night playlist to get us pumped for a fun night out. A PMS playlist for when we need to unleash the beast within and get all of our rage out. We also made a couple of Sexy Times playlists. I named mine Sexy Times – Fast and Sexy Times –Slow, respectively. Even though, who were we kidding – I should have just made one and named it Bora-bora-boring Sexy Times. I snicker as I consider changing the playlist name as I collide with a giant, hulking object.

My iPod flies out of my hands and my backpack starts slipping off my shoulder. Two gigantic hands grab my arms to steady me before I fall backwards onto the concrete.

"Bella, baby, you gotta stop throwing yourself at me- my Rosie doesn't share well." a booming voice chastises me. I smile widely and look up to make eye contact with the oversized man-child who nearly body checked me to the ground.

I smack both hands on his thick chest, giggle-snort and squeal, "You scared the shit out of me Emmett! Christ, you almost gave me a heart-attack."

The big oaf chuckles and turns to whoever he is walking with before he looks back to me. "Bells, I had called your name at least three times before you tried to check me, Boo." he defends, "Clearly you were too focused on your iPod to acknowledge us little people, right Edward?"

Immediately regretting my giggle-snort, I turn to face Emmett's silent travel companion. My inner whore gave herself the sign of the cross and like me began staring inappropriately. Edward Cullen. Possibly one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen though I know very little about him other than he lives with Emmett and Tanya's boyfriend, Tyler. Today, the Adonis is covering his normally freshly fucked looking coif with a black beanie. No matter, the better to see his piercing green eyes and perfectly lickable jaw. _Get yourself together, Bella_.

He appears to be picking something up off the ground that has him positively fascinated. He finally looks up and makes direct eye contact. He pulls the right side of his lips up into a knowing smirk and he begins his approach.

"I think I know what the problem is Em," he replies. "Looks like Bella here was a little distracted by the number of interesting playlists on her nano." He waves my iPod around and smiles like the cat that ate the canary.

Emmett leans his head forward to take a closer look at what could have me so distracted. He chuckles lightly and says, "Oh yeah, this is a good one, Bells. I had Rosie add a little Nine Inch Nails to her _Fuck Fest Playlist _– now it's perfect." He winks for good measure.

I want the ground to swallow me whole. They are looking at my Sexy Times playlists. For the second time today, I contemplate if one can die of mortification.

Sensing my embarrassment, Emmett decides to throw me a bone and change the topic. "So Bells, you gonna finally make a cameo at one of our Thursday night shindigs?" he asks hopefully.

Now that we are in the second semester and football season is over, Emmett and his roommates have been throwing themed parties every Thursday night. Mike said he wasn't "into" attending jock thrown parties with themes like "Pimps and Hoes" or "Heaven and Hell".

"Aww, I don't know Em," I start, "I need to buckle down this semester." I barely get through my excuse before he huffs and rolls his eyes.

"Come on Bells, I know damn well that you are a down ass chick and that Mike doesn't like to party." he argues.

_Hmm, when did Emmett start working for Miss Cleo? _He then switches tactics and gives me the puppy dog eyes and starts gyrating into some questionable form of a hula dance, possibly.

"Bellarina, you know you wanna come. This week's theme is Come-on-I-wanna-lei-ya. Can't you don a hula skirt and pass the poi, mahalo?"

Edward chuckles softly beside his friend, his eyes still seem transfixed on my nano. He then abruptly looks up, meets my eyes and slowly speaks.

"You should come. It will be… fun."

Emmett quirks an eyebrow and stares at Edward in confusion. After a few seconds, he nods his head and turns back to face me.

"We are going to hit the student union before class – we'll catch you later, Bells." he says with a wave.

Emmett starts walking away and I turn to find Edward merely inches away from me. He places something in my hand – but I can't be bothered to look down at it because he is staring so intensely into my eyes. I feel the blush creep up my cheeks. He leans in slightly and in the most panty dropping low tone I have ever heard, he advises me, "You really should… come."

He starts to walk away, but before he does he turns his head slightly back to me to give me this dazzling smile and a short wave. Unconsciously, I lick my lips and finally am able to remove my eyes from his retreating form. I look down at the object in my hand. My iPod of course, but as I look closer, I notice that Mr. Cullen has made a selection. I start to chew my lip as I read _Feelin' Love_ by Paula Cole on the screen. My inner whore passes out. _And I think I just came…_

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**A/N… ****So, yeah… That's Edward… Don't ya kind of want to dry hump him already? Up next we'll meet Bella's roommate Tanya. Let's just say Tanya has a **_**massive**_** surprise for us.**

**Side-note: Paula Cole's Feelin Love is by far the hottest song I have ever heard. Literally (say it like Rob) it makes any woman who hears it want to work a pole - PUN INTENDED!**

**And speaking of feelin' love - I am immensley grateful for all the follows, faves and reviews I received the last chapter. ****I will post the next update on Thursday night – so if you haven't already, please put this story on alert.**

**Feel free to hit me up with a review if you like! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3 - Bump and Grind

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Let's meet Tanya and Rose…  
**

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Chapter 3 – Bump and Grind

Unable to resist, I slip the ear-buds in and take my time walking back to my dorm room. With Paula Cole crooning beautiful overtly sexual lyrics in my ears, I desperately try to process whatever the fuck just happened. Edward and I have run in the same circles for the past year or so, however, I can't seem to recall any conversation other than general pleasantries or a head nod in recognition. _Surely he wasn't suggesting that I actually… _I needed to talk this out with a third party who isn't afraid to call me on my crazy. I need to talk to Tanya.

Tanya and I have been roommates since freshman year. Admittedly, I didn't know how to take Tanya at first. Physically, she is a knock-out. Strawberry blonde hair that looks messy in the freshly fucked sense with piercing hazel eyes that perfectly compliment her flawless facial features. All topped off with a body made for sin. But for as beautiful as she was on the outside, she was far more gorgeous on the inside.

Every girl should have a friend like Tanya. She was the kind of friend who could listen to someone spew crazy for hours and not pass a lick of judgment. She would pick you up if you were down, celebrate your highs, and cry with you during your lows. She'd also cut a bitch for messing with those she loved – I'd only seen her get Springer guest one time and that was enough for me to know to never get on her bad side.

I call Tanya the chameleon – she fits in anywhere with anyone. In the year and a half that I have known her, she has lived dozens of lives and had countless experiences. She is literally interested in seeing everything in life from a different perspective. Anyone she meets she views as an opportunity to learn something new. She has this way about her that when she speaks to you, it seems like everything out of your mouth is the most interesting thing in the world.

As a result of her ability to make powerful, immediate connections, she has been in several relationships with men (and one woman) from all walks of life. She is a down for whatever, whenever type of gal. Currently she was dating Tyler Crowley, the 6'5", 290 lb. offensive lineman. Much like Emmett, he was physically intimidating, but underneath he was a big old teddy bear.

As I walk up to our door, I hear LSG's _My Body_, and I laugh because clearly this playlist we created was the shit. I throw open the door prepared to rehash my entire morning when I am shocked into stillness by the sight before me. My best-friend, roommate and overall conscience these days is on her bed, on all fours, being impaled by the most massive black cock I have ever seen. I swear I willed my body to move and my hands to shield my eyes, but I could not physically turn away from the spectacle before me. And then… Tanya started talking.

"Mmmm, go 'head daddy" she moaned.

His immediate response was an ass slap and a slow grind. "Yeah… You like that, baby?" he asked in a low, Barry White baritone.

I finally get my wits about me, and am able to turn to exit just as the door I had previously thrown open slammed closed on the side of my head.

"Son of a bitch!" I scream in pain as I try to open the door enough to make a hasty more stealth exit.

As I made it out to the hall, I hear Tanya screech, "Oh my God, Bella!"

Thankfully I am alone when I plop down on the couch in the common room. I cannot get the image out of my head. Right now I wish more than anything that those _Men in Black_ memory flashers were real or that I could go all _Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind_ in this bitch. Ugh, I just want to bleach my brain and simultaneously gouge my eyes out.

While assessing my physical injuries, I couldn't help but be disgusted by the crazy things I was thinking. First and foremost, Tyler Crowley would not be using his God-given name any longer. Henceforth, he shall be known as _Chocolate Thunder_. _Yes, you're quite welcome Tyler._

Secondly, I was incredibly impressed and slightly mortified for Tanya's vagina. Did she ice it afterwards? Was she still able to wear tampons or did she just stick a roll of Bounty paper towels up there? Inquiring minds want to know.

And finally and perhaps most shamefully, I couldn't contain the immense jealousy that raged through me. After a mere six months, their connection was so powerful that they could express their love with such intense and wild abandon. But after a couple of years, Mike and I couldn't even do oral because it wasn't "necessary". I went from zero to furious in about 30 seconds. My head was a mess.

"Bella?" whispered Tanya as she came around the corner. Her arms were wrapped around her torso and her body was swimming in Tyler's huge sweatshirt that came down to her knees.

"Dear God, Tanya, tell me you are wearing shorts under that" I joke, hoping to ease the tension of the situation.

She laughs and pulls up the sweatshirt to reveal a hot-pink pair of Hello Kitty boy-shorts. I let out a huge guffaw and then turn uber-serious on her.

"Speaking of kitties, doll, how is yours holding up?" I ask in my most serious Barbara Walters voice and we both break out into hysterical laughter. Just then Tyler comes around the corner, strutting I daresay.

"You okay, Baby B?" he asks with a shit eating smirk on his face.

I was about to inform him of his new nickname when Tanya cuts in, "She'll be fine, Ty" she reassures him. Hmm, perhaps Mr. Crowley wasn't the proud peacock I originally pegged him for.

"Good deal. I'm meeting Em at the Union. See you in class, baby girl" he coos at Tanya, placing a loud smacking kiss on the top of her head. "Later, Bells!"

"Bye baby!" Tanya replies.

"Be easy, Chocolate Thunder!" I yell down the hall causing the giant to stop and turn in his tracks.

He turns around and smiles at us nodding his head. "Yeah, I like that" he slowly drawls.

Then, much like his brother from another mother, Emmett, he starts provocatively grinding his hips and smacking an imaginary ass in front of him. The expression on my face must have been priceless because he immediately stops gyrating.

"What? Too soon for the bump and grind dance?" He questions.

Definitely, too soon.

~~ IYR~~

Tanya fired off a quick text as she and I made our way back to our room. She slinked onto the bed and assumed the diligent friend listening position, otherwise known as criss-cross applesauce. She rested her chin on her hands to let me know that I had her undivided attention. She then gave me her signature Cheshire smirk and began.

"So… What had you so distracted that you didn't give pause to the Freak Nasty playlist?"

I raise an eyebrow at her playlist title, but decide against asking if that was her Sexy Times slow or fast. Given the HBO Real Sex worthy performance I saw today, I don't think I could handle anymore of her particular brand of kink.

"Well," I begin, "I had an interesting encounter in the quad this afternoon".

Tanya's eyes light up. "Ooh, I love doing it in public places, but that's shockingly bold for you and Mikey, don't you think? Hell, I don't think I would even do it there in the daylight. But, what a rush, right? It's so hard to stay quiet. Oh, I am so proud of you Bells!" she squeals.

Before I can correct her insane assumption, the door to our room is ripped open. There in all of her blonde, glam-a-zon glory stands Rosalie Hale. Rose and I have known each other since the third grade when her family moved to Forks from Texas. I suppose intimidating was a word that could somewhat accurately describe Rose, however I think most people usually settled on "fucking frightening". She pulled no punches in her assessment of people and situations. Where Tanya was Miss "Free to Be You and Me", Rose was Miss "You're an Asshole and here's why". I will admit my girl has softened quite a bit since hooking up with Emmett last year.

"Boo! You whores started without me!" Rose shouts taking in the intensity of Tanya's position and the clearly flummoxed expression on my face.

Before I can get a word in edgewise, Tanya decides to give Rose the down and dirty summary of my morning. "Bella boned Newt on the quad this morning".

Rose immediately starts jumping up and down and clasps her hands together all the while shrieking like a Justin Bieber fan girl. In my peripheral I may have caught Tanya throwing up some spirit fingers as well. Dear God, I must put a stop to this.

As I begin to protest, Rose starts pumping me for details "You are my new whore hero, sorry T! Where did you guys do it? Behind that stairwell by the library? Or in the bushes by the science building community gardens? Alice is _so_ not going to believe this shit" she muses as she starts firing off a text.

Faster than I ever knew I was capable of, I snatch her iPhone from her hands before she could divulge the dirty deets to our Alice, Sweet Alice. I am pleasantly surprised that I'm not immediately thrown into a headlock; instead I just receive a Rosalie Hale bitch-brow special.

"Mike and I didn't have sex on the quad" I inform my oversexed counterparts.

"But you said" Tanya begins.

"No, my exact words were that I had a strange encounter on the quad – you took it to Mike and me taking the bologna bus to tuna town in a public place." I counter.

Tanya had the decency to look sheepish. Clearly disappointed in my quad fucking fail, Rose starts picking her nails. "So what was this _strange encounter_ then Bells?" she inquires in a bored tone.

I recount the incident in great detail, only editing out all parts concerning my inner whore. Tanya listened with rapt fascination, while Rose seemed equally as puzzled.

"And then he said "you really should", gave a pregnant pause and finished with "come". Like the general sentence structure, I totally get, but the way he said it and the sound of his voice and look in his eyes seemed to be saying something else. What the fuck does that mean? Am I like a big bag of crazy?" I question in this high pitched squeaky voice that I only use when I think I am a hop, skip and a jump from Crazy-town or I have worked myself into a total frenzy. Unable to contain my crazy, I continue, "Like seriously, did he tell me to come or to _cuuuummm?_" I stretch the last word out and subtly point to my lady-parts as if they needed further clarification on what I was asking.

With her brow furrowed, Tanya speaks first, very slowly inquiring, "Edward Cullen? Edward Cullen said you should… come?"

"Yes, however the first time he added it would be fun, the second time I think he had _fun_ ruining my panties." I hedge.

The girls then look at each other having some silent conversation as if they too were trying to piece together the cryptic subtext of his comment. Tanya recovers first.

"Here's the thing, Bells. Edward typically doesn't come out of his room at the parties."

Rose concurs, "Yeah, as a matter of fact Emmett is usually all over his nuts to come out of his room and stop being all emo and stuff."

Tanya nods and turns back to Rose, "But what about Heidi? Are they still…" she trails off.

Rose dramatically rolls her eyes at the thought of her sorority sister. "The jury is still out on that one, it depends on who you ask. Last I heard she and her bitch brigade were all banging members of Royce King's crew. I think Heidi likes to keep Edward on the side basically making him off limits to the female population, but mostly just her nearest and dearest." she reasons.

Instantly deflated, I try to compose myself before they notice my disappointment. I start packing my book bag with my Human Sexuality textbook and triple checking that I have enough pens, pencils, protractors – basically anything to avoid making direct eye contact with my friends. Girls like Heidi Hunter were put on this earth to make other girls feel bad about themselves as she was nearly impossible to cut up. Not that I was in direct competition with her or anything. The fact of the matter was that I had a boyfriend. I was happily attached to a wonderful guy. I don't even know why I gave a second thought to this encounter. I chuckled awkwardly, feeling somewhat sheepish for making a big deal out of nothing.

"I mean, obviously I wasn't interested, but I just thought the whole thing was weird you know?" I try to reason.

As we walk to class, Tanya informed Rosalie of my unwilling participation in her afternoon delight. Rosalie was howling with laughter as we approached Emmett and Tyler near the classroom door. Tanya immediately jumped into Chocolate Thunder's arms, kissing him all over as if it had been years since she'd seen him last. The bitter, jealous hag in me wanted to yell "Seriously… He was balls deep in you an hour ago". I manage to stomp her down by focusing on Rose and Em who have a whole different level of affection. Rose sauntered up to him as his eyes raked up and down her body. Totally prepared to divert my eyes for the overt public display of affection I know will make me want to vomit, I am pleasantly surprised when she smirks in return and gives him a playful slap on the face. What I'm not prepared for is the fact that this is clearly foreplay for them. I cast my eyes down trying to rein in the jealousy again when I feel someone lightly brush past me to open the classroom door.

I look up to be met by the same green eyes and haughty smirk that had set my disastrous afternoon in motion. As he opens the door he drops his head close to my ear and in that same tone that nearly set my panties on fire this morning, he says, "After you… Bella."

It could be my imagination but I swear he is trying to elicit a reaction from my lady-parts by drawing my name out more than necessary with his tongue. I can feel the blush creeping up my cheeks so I immediately cast my eyes down and proceed through the door praying that I will be able walk across the flat surface and that there isn't a visible wet spot on my yoga pants. I'd like to believe I muttered a "thank you", but I can't be sure.

I take my regular seat at the front of the classroom and do everything I can to avoid looking over at Edward. Thankfully, class begins and I am able to focus somewhat on the lecture. That is until Tanya begins tapping on her notebook, clearly trying to get my attention as subtlety is not her strong suit. Slightly annoyed, I look over wondering what could possibly be so important. She nods her head, directing me to look at her cell phone. Cautiously, I incline my head so I can get a better look at what she is so desperate for me to see, all the while praying it wasn't a picture of Tyler's giant cock. It appears to be a text from Rose. I furrow my brow and lower my head to get a better look. The text reads _Edward Cullen is looking at you again_. Another text follows that reads _He's been watching you the entire time_. I place my fingers over my mouth to muffle a gasp. Apparently subtlety isn't my strong suit either.

I grab Tanya's phone and type out_ Doesn't matter -I have a boyfriend. _I smile smugly to myself, proud that on the outside I appear to be the dutiful girlfriend. But on the inside, a quiet fire is lit. And God help me, I love how it burns.

* * *

**A/N… True story - in college my sister walked in on her roomie getting boned by her own version of Chocolate Thunder. From the way my sister described it, I'd always imagined her petite little roomie was being impaled by a tree trunk - couldn't resist adding it to the story. **

**So it seems our Bella has a bit of an admirer... Perhaps it is time to take care of that pesky boyfriend situation, yes? Who's with me?**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed or favorited this fic. I will post the next chapter on Sunday night. If you haven't already, please be sure to put this story on alert.**

**Reviews are like an ass slap from Chocolate Thunder – they hurt so good… Thanks for reading! **


	4. Chapter 4 - End of the Road

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**It's about to go DOWN… Time for a little drama…  
**

* * *

Chapter 54 – End of the Road

I'd managed to make it through the rest of class without arousing too much suspicion, though my hasty exit may have tipped Rose and T off that this was not up for discussion just yet. Tanya and I walked back to our room in relative silence.

I had a pretty productive hour after class. I caught up on some reading and even had the time to fire an email off to my mom in Florida that was more than a paragraph long. While I loved my flighty, hare-brained mother – it was often hard for me to relate to her. Composing an email was like walking through a mine-field. Where I was grounded and sensible in all things, she flounced through life and insisted I wasn't "really living". I gritted my teeth and took all of her jabs to my relationship and life decisions in stride. It's kind of hard for me to take her "parenting" seriously considering some of the decisions she has made over the years. There isn't a day that goes by that I am not thankful that my dad, Charlie, took primary custody of me in the divorce.

Feeling pretty proud of myself I take a look out the window and notice that the sun has nearly set. I suppose I should run and grab a bite to eat. Other than a Nutri-Grain bar this morning, a bottle of water and a few sticks of gum, I haven't really had any sustenance today. I grab my coat intending to make my way down to the food court when I hear a quiet knock on the door. I am pleasantly surprised to find Mike with two steaming covered coffee cups and a Starbucks bag.

"Uh, I figured you probably forgot to eat today so I took a chance." He nervously mutters then tries to play it off with a sheepish smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"You always know just what I need" I acknowledge his thoughtfulness and give him what I hope is a brilliant, grateful smile as I invite him in.

I gobble the pastries down like I haven't seen food in days, totally unladylike. We exchange bits and pieces of our day in between bites, but I get the impression that he has something on his mind, like he is steeling himself to broach a subject. Something feels off, but I can't quite put my finger on it, he is fidgety and distracted. I run my fingers along his jaw, trying to encourage him to meet my eyes.

"Baby, what's the matter, you seem… uneasy." I stutter.

He quickly grabs my hand and kisses the tips of my fingers. "Everything is fine baby," he reassures me, "I just missed you and thought we could maybe talk or something."

I can see he is getting more flustered by the minute and he begins muttering something about it being too hot in here, I can barely understand him.

"You wanna get out of here? How about we, um. Let's just go for a walk or something." He stammers.

His nervousness is reaching a fever pitch and he looks like he is breaking into a sweat. I grab my coat and give him my most reassuring smile.

"Sure babe that would be great." I say with fake enthusiasm.

Once we get out of the dorm and into the breeze, Mike's anxiety seems to dissipate infinitesimally. He walks a little ahead of me in the direction of the library. He seems a bit embarrassed, and turns to me to offer a small smile. We walk in an uncomfortable silence to a bench near the small dimly lit fountain by the library entrance. Mike still seems to be gathering his thoughts, so I try to focus on the beautiful night and take in the picture perfect scenery.

Mike clears his throat and begins, "Bells, you know that I love you more than anyone or anything in this world, right?"

My throat closes up and I am instantly terrified of where he is going with this. I meet his gaze and nod my head minutely. My mind is working overtime trying to piece together where this conversation is leading. On one hand I am thinking surely this isn't what I think it is. Surely he wouldn't propose. But a quieter voice in my head alerts me to the possibility that this is going to be the conversation that I have been dreading all along.

Mike looks away and continues, "You know, it's just that you have been just really distant the past month or so. Your behavior has just been, just weird." He trails off. He licks his lips and picks up again, "Like this afternoon, it was like you were there, but wanted to be anywhere but."

I begin furiously shaking my head, but he persists, "No, seriously Bella, I think I caught you counting ceiling tiles…" So quietly, I almost don't hear him, he adds, "Again."

I continue to shake my head and scrunch my eyes shut tightly, surely this can't be happening. I open my mouth to speak, but what can I say?

"And Bells, I know you have so much going on, I mean I get that you have a lot on your plate and that you are pulled into a thousand different directions – but I need to know that you are still all in with me. I just. I just can't tell if you are happy anymore, you know. Tell me what to do, Bells. What do you need from me baby?" He begs.

He is desperately pleading with his eyes for me to tell him what to do to make this right. I have never seen Mike this distressed and it seriously breaks my heart to cause him pain. However, this is it. There will be no better opportunity, no better opening for me to tell him what I need to make this right. The despicable part of me is praying that his desperation to fix us will force his hand.

I quickly decide on the shit sandwich approach – compliment, shit on him, then back to compliment to hopefully get the bad taste out of his mouth. I clear my throat and pray that I can get through this without bawling my face off or hurting him more. I turn to face him and place my hands on either side of his face.

"Baby" I begin in what I hope is a reassuring tone, "We are fine. I love you so much – please never ever doubt my feelings for you… ever, okay."

Mike relaxes somewhat, so I continue, "You are such a good man, Michael. I know exactly how lucky I am to be with you, to be _loved_ by you. You are… home to me, Mike. Loving you is as easy as breathing".

I bite my lip as I carefully choose my next words. "I admit that I have been somewhat distracted lately, and I think it is mainly because I am somewhat… frustrated in my inability to express… all that I am feeling for you." I stammer.

Mike lets out a barking laugh and grabs my hands to place reverent kisses on each of my palms. "You sweet girl! Thank you! Jesus, I was going crazy. Forgive me for freaking out, I know a grown man shouldn't need such assurances, but baby, everything you just said is all I need." He coos.

While the smile on his face is absolutely blinding, I can't help but notice that he completely missed the point. Time to redirect.

"Aww babe, I'm so happy to see you smiling again. You know I can't handle it when you are upset. But still, I want to be able to express my love for you. You telling me that you don't need my assurances doesn't make me any less eager to find _other_ ways of showing you what you mean to me." Then I quietly add in a breathy moan, "ways that both you and I would find _mutually… pleasurable_".

I manage to get that all out while looking directly into his eyes. It takes a millisecond for it to register on his face. He can't look away from me fast enough. He drops my hands and begins rubbing his hands back and forth on his knees. His lips mold into a hard, defiant line and he begins breathing deeply through his nose in some sort of effort to suppress his heightened emotions. He chuckles humorlessly, then turns back to look at me intently, seething.

"So let me get this straight, Bella. You are talking about sex right?"He sneers. He goes from zero to positively enraged in about 30 seconds. "What the fuck, Bella? Are you kidding me right now? What are those sluts filling your head with?"

My jaw drops, Mike rarely curses and certainly never at me. Typically it is directed at the TV during a Seahawks game, but never at me and never with this intensity behind it. I need to steer this ship back on course.

"Michael!" I sharply chastise.

"No. No. Fuck that, Bella. What the fuck are you talking about with this "mutually fucking pleasurable" bullshit? Seriously, tell me, what shit are they filling your head with, huh? What more are they telling you that you need, huh?" He shouts.

I put my hands in front of me in a submissive gesture, hoping he will take it down a notch. "Mike. I am not saying I am unhappy with our sex life by any means. You're a _great_ lover, Mike. I just, kind of want to try new things with each other, find new and exciting ways to… _please_ each other". I quietly propose as I fight to hold the tears back.

He appears to be assessing my responses, but is still unable to reign in his hostility. "Enlighten me, Bells! What are these new fun and exciting ways that we can please each other? He mocks, "Do tell!"

Feeling less confident by the second and worried that I will set him off further. "Well," I hedge, "I was thinking maybe we could try some new positions or maybe even – ".

"Oh sure Bells! Nothing says I love you like me shoving my dick in your mouth, right? It ain't love unless I am banging you from behind and calling you degrading names, right? I hear anal is the new promise ring." He is full on screaming now.

I pray that no one is witnessing this or that we haven't drawn an audience. Mike is completely unhinged. Just when I think he is done, he rises to his feet and starts gesturing wildly.

"You cum every time, Bella, EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. What more do you need?"

I can't meet his eyes. Perhaps now is not the time for brutal honesty, but considering what an ungrateful whore I feel like, him knowing I am a liar too is just too much to bear. Unfortunately for me, Mike isn't distracted enough not to notice my reluctance to acknowledge his "cum" declaration. He squats down to eye level with me and repeats himself a lot more quietly and with a lot less confidence.

"Bella, you cum every time. You can't… I can feel it, Bella".

I am full on sobbing at this point. I can barely catch my breath. I can't bring myself to face him, but I can see his hands are trembling as he tries to rein in his anger, but more importantly his hurt. After what seems like an eternity, he stands up and comes to sit close to me on the bench. He clears his throat.

"I um… I can't believe." He stumbles, "I don't understand, Bella. Why aren't I enough for you, huh? For the past two years, Bell," he swallows thickly and continues, "I have loved you with every fiber of my being. Worshiped and adored you. Do you think you know what love is, Bella? Hmm? Do you understand that it is possible to love someone more than yourself? Hmm? I think you need to think about what is important and I mean really important."

His demeanor is calm, however I can see that he is gearing up for his finishing move, and I deserve every bit of it. "The love I have for you, Bella. You are everything to me. My love for you is about more than orgasms and sexual fulfillment. _You_ are enough for me. Getting to just be near you, intimately and otherwise, is enough for me. I don't need more. And God forgive me for saying this, but for a little girl who resents her mother so much for running away from a really good man, you sure seem eager to follow her lead."

And with that, he stands up and hesitantly whispers, "I'm gonna go now. I uh, I can't do this anymore. I really do love you Bella, but this is just too fucked up. I don't, uh, I don't want this... Let's just take some time or something."

He turns to walk away and I rise to my feet to bring him back crying, "Wait, Mike, please…"

But he simply waves me off, not even turning to acknowledge my presence. As he walks past the nearest lamp-post, a slender figure comes out of the shadows. I drop to my knees and let the sobs take over me. With tears in her eyes, Tanya pulls me into her embrace and silently cries with me.

I can't tell you how long we sit there like that, but I have never shed more tears in my entire life. I cried for hurting the man I loved. I cried for the selfish part of me that still wanted more. I cried for the hurtful comparison to my ungrateful mother. But mostly, I cried because he was right.

* * *

**A/N… So, yeah… Thoughts? Are most of you like "good riddance to bad rubbish"? Or are you in shock that Mike gave her the big boot instead? Talk about embarrassing, huh? I am pretty sure I would shit a solid gold brick if someone basically told me I sucked in bed. **

**On a good note - Bella is single, right? But she is still self-deprecating Bella so she needs a chapter to mourn the loss of her 2 year relationship - it's the decent thing to do... But after that - it's party time (*Layathomemom gyrating and humping the air like Emmett and Chocolate Thunder). **

**Since this chapter was kind of a buzzkill - how about I rec a few fics with white-hot lemons, yes?**

**_You Own Me_ - a WIP by BeeCute82 - dirty lemons with a Mobward. Yes and yes, me likey!  
_Take Me Home _or_ A Dry Heat_ - by Lovin Rob - smutty times with a heapin' helping of angst, LovinRob style. Like I always say - if LovinRob is wrong, I don't wanna be right, dolls!**

**Hope those take the edge off, pals! ****I will post the next chapter on Thursday night... Thanks so much for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting! **


	5. Chapter 5 - Goodbye My Lover

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**And it's time for the aftermath…**

* * *

Chapter 5 - Goodbye My Lover

I don't remember walking back to our dorm room. I don't recall emptying the contents of my stomach repeatedly. I am not positive that I actually overheard Tanya whispering on the phone to someone, clearly debating the pros and cons of seeking medical attention for me. After what I guess would be about 4 hours of solid sobbing, my body finally gives way to sleep.

Waking up is like coming out of a coma from a bad accident –I'm not really sure I am glad I survived knowing I have to face my new reality. I can't shut down the memories and thoughts in my head. Every single word he said, the look on his face when he finally saw what I was capable of, every single ounce of pain I heaped on to this man – it just isn't possible to hate myself more.

I glance at the nightstand to see how long I have been out. Tanya left me a huge bottle of water and a couple of Advil. She also left me a little note.

_B-_

_Make sure to take the Advil and to __**SIP**__ the entire bottle of water over the next few hours. I don't want you puking all day, I told Ang you were sick and she is going to bring notes for your Lit class this afternoon since I didn't think you would feel like going. Get some rest – Rose and I will be around this evening if you feel up to talking._

_T-_

Seriously, she is such a good friend. But the huge bitch that has taken ownership of my body rolls her eyes at the note. _Um yeah, you forgot to add the PS that informed me you had taken the bottle of Advil with you and removed all sharp objects from the room._

And on that nasty note, I pull the covers over my head and fall into another fitful sleep.

A few hours later, I hear a small knock on my door. It is so quiet, the hopeful part of me secretly thinks that it may be Mike with coffee and pastries and a newfound willingness to forgive me… then fuck me. As I pass the mirror on my way to answer it, I take note of my reflection in the mirror. Eyes swollen, haystack hair, and morning breath that can thin paint – I decide that make-up sex is out of the question.

Slowly I open the door and can't mask my disappointment fast enough. Our friend Angela Weber stands in my doorway taking in my questionable appearance. For all intents and purposes, I think I'm pulling off the illness excuse flawlessly.

Angela and I are both English majors. We met in Freshman Comp 101 and have tried to navigate the English major coursework together. She is a super sweet girl, a pastor's daughter as a matter of fact. She is like Sandra D from Grease – entirely too pure to be pink.

"Hey Bells. I brought you the notes from class. You didn't miss much, other than Lauren Mallory trying to wax intellectual on "the power of female perspective" in the literary world. And by "power of female perspective", I mean she was flashing her panties at Professor Banner and his T.A." She snorts.

The miniscule portion of the decent human being in me is able to force my lips to move into a sad smirk. Clearly perceptive, Ang takes in my expression then gives me the pity look that you give someone when they are clearly responsible for their own unhappiness. Surely she couldn't know. T and I have the don't ask, don't tell policy until the other person is ready to discuss the matter at hand.

Angela follows me into my room as I flop down onto my bed, reassuming my position since coming home from my literal walk of shame. I steal a glance at Ang, hoping she will get the hint that I don't really want to have a slumber party and braid each other's hair. I can tell she is hemming and hawing as she pulls her notes out of her bag. Finally, she puts on her brave girl face and squares her shoulders.

"So, how are you doing with the break-up?" She has the sheer balls to ask me.

I narrow my eyes at her at first in anger, but then in confusion. My heart speeds up and my mind goes into overdrive. We're broken up? Like officially? I thought he said "he couldn't do this" but he also said he "needed time". WHAT. THE. FUCK? I can feel my breathing becoming shallow and the urge to purge becoming increasingly difficult to resist. I try to compose my bitch face.

"Who told you?" I quietly ask.

She bites her lip seemingly deciding to answer slowly to build suspense or she is debating on how to tell me that I am the talk of the town in a sensitive manner. _Come on Ang, rip the band-aid off… _Clearing her throat, it is painfully obvious that this conversation is uncomfortable at best.

"I read it on Facebook last night. Mike changed his status to _Single."_

And there it is, not only is it being spread around by word of mouth, surely speculation running rampant, it is in black and white, no gray, no question. Over. My hands start to tremble and I bite my lip so hard trying to stop the quivering that I am sure I draw blood. I clear my throat and look to Ang.

"Um. Have you seen him?" I whisper.

Her eyes never leave mine as she slowly shakes her head no. I know she desperately wants to ask me what happened that could possibly bring down Mike and Bella. I am sure there has been an excessive amount of chatter amongst our peers, everyone offering their own assumptions, creative theories and guesswork on the cause of our demise. I am certain that there were even secret celebrations that Mike was back on the market.

I jump up and grab my laptop off the desk and bring it back to my bed. Angela makes a move to stop me, but clearly the masochistic bag of crazy look I have on my face stops her in her tracks. She still tries to caution me with her eyes. Pulling up my homepage, it appears that there are three messages, one notification and one friend request. I shut my eyes tightly knowing I have to get Angela the fuck out of here because I was T-minus 30 seconds to being a bawl baby mess. I blow out a breath I had no idea I was holding.

"Thanks for bringing the notes for me Ang. I owe you one." I say quietly. "I'm actually not feeling so hot; can I catch up with you later or something?" I look up at her, my eyes pleading.

"Sure thing, Bells! Let me know if you are still feeling sick and I will get you the notes for Thursday's class too." She responds just as quietly, slightly hesitant like she doesn't really want to leave me to my own devices.

She gives me a small wave, a sympathetic smile and shows herself to the door.

Turning back to face the music, I swallow thickly as I click on the notification. I knew it. It was advising of Mike's new status and gave me the options to select what my new status should be. Unfortunately they didn't list "Lying Ingrate" or "Suicide Watch" as statuses, so I just went with the third most accurate -_ Single_.

Clearly on a roll, I click on the first message. It's a frantic note from Alice telling me to call her and asking why I wasn't answering my cell phone. I know I will have to call her this evening. The only thing more frightening than Rosalie is scary pixie Alice going ape-shit on your ass. Not looking forward to that conversation.

I click on the second message from my mom.

_Bella,_

_Sweetie, what happened? You sounded so happy in your email yesterday and now this. Probably for the best that it happened now anyway before you were married and saddled with a kid or two. Trust me, this is for the best. Now go out and have some fun. I'll call you this weekend!_

_I love you!_

_-Mom_

Aww, thanks Mom, subtle and sensitive as always. Is it possible to want to hug and punch someone in the face every single time you come into contact with them? Because that pretty much sums up what I'd like to do to her… repeatedly.

Finally, I move on to the third message. My stomach drops and I run to the bathroom to dry heave. After a DEFCON 5 level meltdown, I return to my bed to face the music. The message is from Mike's mom. As if it wasn't possible to hit a new low, not only have I hurt Mike, I didn't even consider what this would do to his family. I brace myself as I open the message.

_Bella,_

_My heart is breaking for you two right now. Just know that I love you both and I hope that you can find a way back to each other. I am always here if you need someone to talk to. Mike Sr. sends his love as well! Take care baby girl and don't be a stranger._

_Love,_

_Karen_

Loud sobs rack my body as I fall further down the shame spiral. Truly, my selfishness knows no bounds. I'm confident that I'm going to hell, if I'm not there already. I rub my eyes, and move on to the friend request. Honestly, I am so sick with myself I consider ignoring the request giving this unknown person a reprieve from the pain I am so eagerly inflicting on those I claim to care about.

_Edward Cullen would like to be friends. Confirm. Ignore._

_Seriously, am I being Punked? Where's Ashton?_ I feel guilty that I can't fight the hint of a small smile that plays on my lips as I read the friend request over and over again. Shrugging my shoulders, I hit the confirm button. If I am already going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.

~~~ IYR ~~~

It had been three days since I got the big boot. Three days of avoiding friends and family, phone-calls, you know, basically all forms of human contact. I skipped classes, relying solely on the kindness of others to keep up academic appearances for me. Last night, Rose enforced a mandatory shower decree. Apparently I smelled like a foot and I had Nick Nolte DUI mug-shot hair. I fought the good fight, but then Rose threatened to strip me naked and toss me in the shower like a correctional officer on OZ. Fact, fighting naked is never okay, unless you are starring in a porn movie or are Viggo Mortensen. Only then would it be remotely acceptable. Although it felt good to shower and brush my teeth, I still wasn't prepared to face the world so I jumped back into my bed, content to watch the Game Show Network until I fell asleep.

On the fourth day, I am jolted awake by a slamming door and a very determined Tanya and Rosalie stalking towards me. They circle me in my fortress of solitude. Clearly, this is an intervention. All that is missing are the folding chairs, store bought cookies, and the creepy guy from A&E assuring me that everyone in the room loves me very much.

"Bella," Tanya begins, "It's been four days, doll. Rose and I, we just – "

"We want you to cut the shit." Rosalie interrupts, her tone ice cold.

Tanya gives her a stern eyebrow. It appears that she is not aware of Rose's good cop/bad cop game plan. Naturally, Rose shrugs as tact in sensitive situations is not her forte. Tanya refocuses her attention back to the matter at hand and continues.

"We just think that it would help you to maybe talk about what happened…"

I stare down at my comforter which is suddenly morbidly fascinating. So quiet, I almost don't hear myself; I ask her, "How much did you hear?"

Tanya sucks in a short breath and just as quietly answers, "Just enough to know why you've been beating yourself up for the past few days."

Nodding slowly, I raise my eyes to meet the concerned expressions of my best friends. For the next hour, I proceed to tell them everything. Every word from the break-up, every justification in my head for my selfishness, right down to the damning comparison to my ungrateful mother. They listen with rapt fascination, clearly understanding that I need to just say these things aloud, kind of talk this out with myself. At the end of my confession, I can barely breathe, sobbing uncontrollably.

And like the night of the break-up, Tanya wraps her arms around me and lets me cry until I don't have a tear left to shed. Only this time, she coos reassurances that I am not the monster that I think I am. Assuring me that I deserve to be loved and fulfilled and that it isn't wrong to voice my needs. Once I am finally able to contain my emotions, Rosalie stands up and grabs her bag, making a show of unzipping it.

"Alright girls, enough with the heavy," she pulls out her iPod and places it in our Bose. "I made a new playlist for you Bells."

The beginning chords of Matricia Berg's _Back in the Saddle_ starts to play. Rose begins singing and dancing along while popping the caps off of some Mike's Hard Lemonades. I can't help but smile as my friends dance around the room like idiots as the playlist continues. It surely has to be the drinks that are dulling my instincts to retreat back to my bed and encourages me to sing and dance along as well. Rummaging through her Mary Poppins bag, Rose pulls out what appears to be Hawaiian sarongs. She throws one at me.

"Alice made these for us. This was her contribution to your intervention. She wants you to pair it with the candy red tube top she made for you this summer." She informs matter of factly.

Alice is a majoring in Fashion Design at The Art Institute of Seattle. Her designs are brilliant, bringing out the inner fashion plate in all of us. The sarong was gorgeous, vibrant large flowers popping off a black back drop. I'll admit I am totally into the idea of wearing it until I remember that it is the dead of winter, there are no tropical destinations within thousands of miles from here and I am as pasty as a bottle of Elmer's glue.

"Yeah, um, cute. Uh, what's this for again?" I ask perplexed.

"The Come-on-I-wanna-lei-ya party." Rose and Tanya answer in unison.

I shake my head furiously, "No guys, I am _SO_ not ready for prime-time." I resist, neatly folding Alice's creation and placing it near Rose's bag of tricks.

Rose's eyebrow arches higher than I've ever seen it go. My reluctance is clearly viewed as an unwelcome challenge to undermine her grand plan. I hold completely still because right now she's like a T-rex and any sign of movement will surely set her off. Clearly sensing my hesitation, in an unlikely move, Rosalie goes old-school on me. So fast I almost don't see it, she stomps her foot and slams her fists against her hips.

"B-E-L-L-A!" she shrieks, "Cut the shit! You're going! The end. Now get your thumb out of your ass and get in the shower!"

Cowering slightly like the pussy I am, I look to Tanya for possible back up. Although her expression is one of understanding, it also silently screams, "_Run, bitch, run_".

Rolling my eyes, I grab the remainder of my fourth Hard Lemonade and chug it. As I slam it on my nightstand, I mutter "Fuck it" and grab my shower stuff. I can hear the girls cheering and high fiving each other, congratulating each other on a job well done. I have to smile because I knew I couldn't ask for better people in my life.

The scalding water is just what I need to get myself into the right mindset for this evening. For the first time, I'm painfully honest with myself. A part of me is terrified to go out tonight. Is it too soon to allow myself a night off from the near constant self-deprecation? Will I be judged by a jury of my peers for coming out of seclusion only four days post break-up? Will it get back to Mike that I celebrated my new found freedom by donning a hula outfit, dancing and drinking my ass off?

Mulling over all possible outcomes, I am suddenly fuming. _This must be the next stage of the grief cycle – uncontrollable anger. _As I furiously begin shaving my legs, as all of his hateful words and the names he called my friends came back to me. Every condescending remark, every single time he told me what was and wasn't "me". It was all of a sudden abundantly clear to me that my feelings were never taken into consideration. Didn't I deserve a say in how I felt loved? Shouldn't my needs be equally as important as his?

At this realization, the weight of the guilt I'd been carrying seemed to lighten. My heart would always be broken for hurting the boy I loved. I knew it was a distinct possibility that I would never find another love like the one that Mike and I shared and that I ran the risk of spending the rest of my life alone. But with a new found confidence, I know now more than ever that I owe myself the opportunity to find a more balanced love, a more fulfilling love, and hopefully - a lasting love.

* * *

**A/N… Wash that guy right out of your hair, Bella! Because you have a hot and dirty boy waiting to lei ya! Party time, dolls! *LayAtHomeMom sways in grass skirt and adjusts coconut bra***

**Posted this chapter tonight because the hubs surprised me with tickets to an early screening of BD2... Someone is going to get 50 shades of laid and his name starts with Mr. and ends with LayAtHomeMom... **

**Next chapter will post on Sunday as per usual. Just wanted to say thank you to all of those who have read, reviewed, followed and fav'd this fic. The response has been really amazing and I am so grateful!**


	6. Chapter 6 - No One Needs to Know

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Party time….**

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Chapter 6 – No One Needs To Know

An hour and three more Hard Lemonades later, I was dressed, pressed and ready to let loose. Rose called her sorority appointed designated driver so we didn't freeze our asses off walking in the dead of winter half-naked. The music coming from the little blue cottage was loud, the bass shook the windows and could be heard and felt from a block away, I'm sure.

The three of us walk through the door and abruptly stop. I inwardly chuckle thinking we might as well have struck a Charlie's Angels pose. Tanya spots Chocolate Thunder and trots over to jump on him like a spider monkey peppering kisses all over his face and neck.

Rose spots Emmett as well, however he is surrounded by a gaggle of freshman girls. Rose leans down to point out the two ringleaders of said groupies. She advises that she aptly named them "Orangutan Tits" and "Hungry-Hungry Hippo". Apparently, these girls have become a Thursday night staple and can't seem to grasp the concept of "not available".

Orangutan Tits is a tall blonde with a very severe blunt bob haircut. Impressed by Rose's accuracy, I did notice the ape like shape of her breasts as she thought it would be a good idea to rock a white tank with no support.

Hungry-Hungry Hippo, or Triple H as I will henceforth refer to her is the polar opposite. She can't be more than five feet tall and slightly thicker, jet black curly hair and a slight overbite. Her looks were average at best, but her confidence was through the roof. You almost had to admire her, she was one of those girls who got up every morning, looked in the mirror and said "Hot Damn" – impressed by her reflection like the Pussycat Dolls chorus "Don'cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me" was playing on a loop in her head as she strutted around.

Rose and I slowly approach. The smile on Em's face as he watches her stalk closer is blinding. She "accidentally" shoulder checks Orangutan Tits as she pulls on Emmett's neck to bring him down for a smoldering kiss. Once she is finished pissing on his leg, she turns her gaze onto the unsuspecting freshmen. Her mouth pulls into a tight lipped smile, but her eyes blaze with a promising warning. Rosalie Hale did not share.

The gaggle of Fraggles suddenly remembers that they love doing _The Cupid Shuffle_ and vacate the area quickly. Em pulls me in for a tight hug and whisper yells over the loud music in my ear.

"So glad you made it Bells. Sorry to hear about, um… you know."

I nod, smiling solemnly at the sweetness of the giant oaf. I stand on my tip-toes and reply, "Em, don't feel sorry for me, just get me drunk."

Jake, the fourth roommate and his girlfriend, Leah make their way across the room to greet us. Emmett informs them of my drunken intentions to which Leah begins howling, literally howling as she raises the unknown bottle of booze and begins pouring it down my throat. The next hour is a blur of drinking, laughing and dancing.

FloRida's _Right Round_ starts playing and several people start spinning and gyrating to the beat. It is then that my new nemesis, Triple H becomes woozy from spinning right round and proceeds to vomit down the front of my shirt and sarong. Clearly there is nothing that seals the sting of humiliation like the scent of someone else's vomit radiating from your body.

Unable to move, I am stunned into stillness. Emmett grabs my elbow and begins yelling for everyone to "Get the fuck out of the way" as he ushers me to the back of the house. After we make our way through the kitchen, he leads me down a set of stairs to the basement. We enter a dark room and he tells me that the second door leads to the bathroom where I can get myself cleaned up. He assures me he will go find me some clothes to wear so he can wash my vomit stained outfit.

I thank him and enter the bathroom. Fishing around for the light-switch, I quietly curse as I knock some shit over in the process. I finally find the light next to the mirror. The harsh fluorescent lighting floods the room and I stare into the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and the vomit is seeping through to my skin. I roll my eyes and huff loudly. I hear footsteps behind me and turn to grab the clothes from Emmett, but I am startled into silence when I turn to face a smirking Edward Cullen instead. His eyes roam over my ruined outfit as he steps forward to hand me a shirt and some shorts. He clears his throat.

"Uh, I thought these would fit you better than any of Emmett's clothes," he says quietly, "Feel free to use the shower if you need to… you know." He awkwardly continues.

A smile plays on my lips as I quietly stammer, "Um... thank you" waving the clothes around as if he wasn't sure what I would be expressing gratitude for.

Still smirking, he nods. "Well then I'll leave you to it." He advises nervously knocking on the door twice before he shuts it. _Hmm, Edward Cullen was flustered, imagine that._

I hurriedly strip down and throw my clothes under the sink faucet to get the excess vomit off of my outfit. I smell my hair and decide that the majority of the puke stench is radiating from my torso. I throw my hair up into a messy bun and hop into the shower. It isn't disgusting like most boy showers are. It is actually clean. No stray pubes all over or faint smells of semen. I won't lie, my inner whore is basking in the scent of his shower gel, and I may or may not have contemplated adding it to my shopping list so I could do the same. _Creepy, Bella._

I finally manage to get myself under control, exited the shower and towel off. I run my hand over his soft gray Port Angeles 3 on 3 basketball tourney t-shirt. Unfolding it, I can't help but smile when I see his last name across the back. My inner whore is preparing a matching stencil to permanently mark her with his name across her back. _Possessed, I think I kind of like that. _I pull the shorts up and roll them down so they settle on my hips. One last glance in the mirror and I debate on letting my hair down since I worked hard to get the soft waves look. Instead, I opted to feign nonchalance, keeping it in the messy bun. Might as well be me, right?

I grab the clothes and open the door. There he sat in the dark on a short black futon. His hair is disheveled and sexy. He is wearing a navy thermal henley with dark jeans and bare feet. I notice he has a ¾ full bottle of Makers Mark and a double old fashioned class three fingers full.

"Feel better?" He asks smiling his crooked smirk at me.

I smile back answering, "Much better, thanks to you". Remembering that I have a towel full of wet, vomit scented clothes, I continue, "Now can I trouble you for a plastic bag to put these in until I can get them to a washer?"

He stands up, wiggling his index finger beckoning me to follow him into the laundry room. I place the clothes into the washer and start it up as he adds the detergent. We walk back to his room in silence, the party above us still going strong. He motions for me to enter first, closing the door behind us. _I am alone with Edward Cullen wearing his clothes and nothing else._

He sits back down on the futon, picks up his Makers Mark and tops off his glass. I watch him as I stand gawking by the doorway. He looks up at me and holds the bottle up, apparently asking if I'd like to join him for a drink. I walk over to the futon slowly trying to contain my smile at his unspoken offer.

"So… What are we drinking to_, Mr. Cullen_?" I purr attempting to sound seductive.

His smile grows. "Well, Miss Swan" he drawls slowly, "Do you normally drink whiskey?"

I chuckle lightly and shake my head. "No, not typically" I pause and look directly into his eyes, "But I'll try almost _anything_ at least once." I bite my lip, praying that I didn't just sound like a desperate whore.

His body shook with quiet laughter, "Would it be forward of me to inquire what would _not_ fall into the almost anything category?" He challenges before taking a large gulp of his drink.

Clearly all the booze I consumed up until that point in the evening decides to make an appearance at that very moment, completely shutting down my common sense filter. I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Anal. Definitely anal."

Edward spits the whiskey out and immediately begins choking. I rush to his side and start smacking him on the back as he coughs and sputters and tries to keep the burning liquid from coming out of his nose. As if I haven't already dazzled him with my awkwardness, I thought I would give him a preview of my crazy logic and rambling skills, loudly.

"Oh my God, Edward – I am so sorry! I swear I might have undiagnosed Tourrettes syndrome. Idrank a lot tonight and I said the first thing I could think of which happened to also be my hard limit. SHIT! I didn't mean to say that out loud. Look, I know I sound like some sexual deviant or something, but I just don't think that I could ever do anal. I like my b-hymen in-tact, you know what I mean?"

Now Edward is full on choking and laughing as I continue to aggressively smack his back and spew my crazy.

"Not that there is anything wrong with anal, if that's what you are into. I mean, it's like a really respectable trade in the porn industry, you know?" I continue to explain.

At this his laughter reaches a fever pitch and he starts gesturing wildly indicating he needs me to stop talking immediately. I bury my head in my hands, absolutely mortified at my wordy outburst. After a few minutes, he is able to get his laughter under control.

"Hey" he says in a comforting way as I feel his hand rubbing my back reassuringly, "You kind of caught me off guard, but I totally respect your position on butt sex."

I roll my eyes and giggle, shaking my head at the ridiculous turn our conversation has taken. "I'm definitely going to need that drink now, _Mr. Cullen_." I mutter uncomfortably.

He stands up and grabs another glass and pours me two fingers of whiskey. eHe hands me the glass and raises his to propose a toast with his signature panty dropping smirk.

"How about this," he offers, "how about we drink to new… _friends_ with in-tact b-hymens?" I let out a huge guffaw and nod my head as we clink our glasses together. _Friends. Sure, that will work for now. _

The conversation flowed effortlessly from that point. We shared our general statistics, both genuinely surprised at how little we knew about each other given how long we ran in the same circles. Edward was born and bred in Chicago until the summer before his junior year in high school when he moved to Port Angeles. He is the adopted only child of the Seattle Children's Hospital Chief of Staff and a homemaker turned budding interior designer. He is a pre-med major hoping to be a surgeon, though he is thoroughly undecided if he should be a general surgeon or if he should specialize.

As I watched my new found friend discuss the pros and cons of specializing at length, I found myself reveling in the possibilities of this new friendship. I wanted to covet my friend. Every insight into his life, every story, every opinion he shared with me, I felt like it was a gift. Edward Cullen was a beautiful mystery, but he chose to open up to me. It felt so amazing, yet foreign to me. Could connection really be this easy?

We chatted about our mutual friends and how our friendships came to fruition. Naturally, with the alcohol induced lack of a filter, I regaled him with the tale of walking in on Tanya and Tyler the other day and the ensuing nickname. He laughed hysterically and I admit I was pleasantly surprised that I could say the word "cock" in front of him without blushing fifty shades of embarrassed.

"So that's the first time you walked in on Tanya banging someone?" He asks incredulously as if I just told him that I had a dick.

"Yes it was. Believe me, I know it seems far-fetched given my room-mates rumored voracious sexual appetite," I reply giggling, "But she really is wonderful, and there's a first time for everything right?"

He nods his head as he tops off our drinks, "Firsts, definitely."

I can't quite read him so I take the bait, "Care to share your firsts, Cullen?" I purr with a wicked smile.

He smirks and shakes his head as if he is shaking off a filthy thought. Perhaps more coaxing is in order.

"Come on, I just shared my first black cock sighting, the least you can do is reciprocate." I whine.

"I see Tyler's cock more than I like, Miss Swan – you forget I live with three jocks – it's like a locker-room around here." He replies cocking an eyebrow and chuckling lightly. He let that sink in, but then licks his lips and smiles evilly, "However, since you are _so _morbidly curious about my sexual firsts, who am I to deny you?"

"Let me see. First kiss." He continues, "Her name was Charlotte. We were in seventh grade and we were playing _Seven Minutes in Heaven_. Unfortunately for me, it was more like Seven Minutes in Hell because she had braces and came at me like a Dyson sucking the skin off my lips and the breath out of my lungs."

I can't help but laugh at the thought of the seventh grade man-eater attacking a young Edward. I also can't help the snort that escapes my nose. He stares at me smiling and shaking his head.

"I just shared a real nightmare situation with you and you are laughing? I went Pretty Woman for the next year or two, absolutely no kissing on the mouth, and you find that hysterical, huh?" He teasingly retorts.

At this I let out a huge guffaw. Feeling slightly guilty for my insensitivity, I feel inclined to return the favor with an equally humiliating first. "Well my first "kiss-kiss" was with a boy named Connor in eighth grade." I confess, and then narrow my eyes suspiciously adding, "To this day, I swear he ate a shit sandwich before he kissed me. His tongue tasted like a turd and I totally gagged and may or may not have vomited afterwards."

It is Edward's turn to laugh. "Perhaps you getting puked on tonight was karma then huh? For puking on poor Connor with the halitosis? Perhaps justice was served, Swan." He cackles as he celebrates my mortification.

I huff as I fold my arms across my chest and roll my eyes. _Ahh yes, the better for him to see my maturity and my pert rack with._

"Aww, Bella. Do you need a tit for tat humiliation from me to make yourself feel better?" He cooed reassuringly. I may have nodded slightly.

"Okay love." He says patting my knee. "My junior prom – my_ first_ time. My prom date and I got a hotel room. Let's just say it was the best two minutes of her life before we both passed out. The next morning, I rolled over to wake her up for round two only to find that she pissed all over the bed, and me."

Now it is my turn to choke on whiskey. I gag and sputter and laugh hysterically. Edward rolls his eyes and nods his head; clearly this story elicits this reaction often. I finally get a hold of myself and give him my most apologetic look.

"I'm sorry I laughed. Must have been quite a _pisser_, huh?" I try to sound comforting but I can tell he's not buying it.

Edward rolls his eyes again and huffs looking everywhere but at me. "And here we go." He mutters.

"Well. I am happy to report that my first time was… _nice_"I confess looking down at my drink. "It was free of golden showers and water-sports, but _nice_, none the less." Taking a sip of my drink praying he won't ask me to elaborate, I avoid meeting his eyes.

"Hmm. Nice. So less than two minutes, huh?" Edward jokes, sensing my wavering admission.

I laugh humorlessly, "Well, if you must know… I think he too only made it to the two minute mark. But I had the added bonus of a soundtrack and a glade candle to set the scene for the romantic interlude."

"Was said song on your Sexy-Times playlist?" He inquires sardonically.

"Uh, no. I think he must have seen the movie _The Watchmen_ one too many times because he played Jeff Buckley's _Hallelujah_ as if it should evoke some sort of religious experience." I reply, shaking my head, laughing.

Edward grins, seeming to enjoy my confession immensely. "So, I take it he didn't make you have a, come to Jesus moment?"

I bite my lip, shaking my head slowly. "Uh, nope," I retort popping the _P. _"Actually never."

His stare is intense as he nods slowly. He seems to be deliberating on whether he should ask me to elaborate. But in his moment of indecision, the alcohol makes its presence known again and like Harry Potter, I am about to open the Chamber of Secrets wide open. I reposition my body to face him, wrapping my arms around my knees ready to spew my sexual frustration all over him.

"I think in order to give your partner the big O; one should recognize that said partner has erogenous zones." I begin bitterly, "Palming a breast like a grapefruit, not acceptable unless it is over the clothes. I mean, I am not asking to be milked, but maybe a nipple graze is in order, right?"

Edward's eyes widen. He pulls both of his lips into his mouth trying not to smirk at my crazy or burst out laughing.

Clearly on a roll, I continue my acidic rant. "And, yeah, ramming two fingers into a vag four times should not be considered foreplay; it's a pap-smear. And then him pulling out K-Y, made me think the pap-smear was premeditated, just sayin'."

He smiles widely, shakes his head and defends, "Cut the boy some slack, he was what 17 or 18 at the time, right? Surely he got better, right?"

I can't meet his eyes as I shake my head. All of the bitterness evaporates and I am left feeling shame. Shame for putting Mike on blast – a new low – even for me. My throat burns as I gulp the remainder of my whiskey down to avoid the awkwardness of the moment.

Edward clears his throat, pats my knee and rises to stand. "I'm going to go put your clothes in the dryer, I'll be right back."

I nod my head, thankful for the moment alone to get myself back together. After a few deep breaths, eye-rolls and self-deprecating mumbled comments – I suddenly remember my hand dry only bra and panty set. I stumble up and stagger back to the laundry room to find my undergarments laid out on top of the washer with Edward leaning over them, staring at them intently as if they were silently debating something. I cluck my tongue and shake my head slowly as I enter. His eyes meet mine and his stare is intense.

"Dirty boy, Cullen" I tease as I cross my arms across my chest and slowly stalk towards him, stopping only inches away, much like he did on the quad. "I'd say I was impressed by you knowing not to dry my unmentionables, but then again… I am sure you have other methods of ruining panties, huh?" I tilt my head, give him a satisfied smirk and secretly pray that I sounded like a vixen, not a drunken coed from _Girls Gone Wild. _

His expression changes from that of intensity to one of pure determination as he places his hand on the back of my neck and the other on my lower back bringing me flush against him. My eyes widen and I suck in a breath as he runs his nose up and down my jaw line, edging its way to my ear.

I place my hands against the strong plains of his chest and will myself not to tear his shirt to shreds. I try to control my breathing but my body is practically vibrating with desire. I don't dare move, waiting to see what he will do next. He is breathing deeply against the side of my face when he begins to harshly whisper.

"Hmm… Bell-a…" He pauses, seemingly to get his thoughts under control. He skims his nose over my jaw and back to my ear again before quietly growling, "I-I want..."

The hand on my neck inches upwards until it is tangled in my hair, pulling my face up to meet his. Our eyes meet momentarily before he licks his lips and presses his forehead against mine. I feel his other hand on my back run slowly up the side of my body softly. His fingertips lightly glided over the top of my hip, my ribs, only to gently graze the side of my breast on its way up to my collarbone. As his hand inches its way up my neck, I can't help but close my eyes and savor the delicious burn his touch leaves on my skin.

His palm cups my cheek at the same time his lips tenderly touch mine. Closed and chaste, he lingers there before pulling away lightly. I can feel him smiling against my lips. Obviously overcome with the effect that Edward Cullen has over me (and possibly uninhibited by the sauce), in an uncharacteristic move for me, I run my hands further up his chest, over his neck and fist my hands into his hair. I tilt my head for better access and press my lips back to his. Softly at first but building in intensity as Edward begins moving his lips against mine.

The tip of his tongue sweeps my bottom lip, seemingly begging for access to my mouth just as the hand on my cheek runs back down the side of my body to tightly grip my hip pulling me impossibly closer against him. Our tongues touch and our lips press against each other, attacking roughly. As the intensity of the kiss builds, I feel the rumble in his chest and hear the deep groan escape his throat. In one fluid movement, both of his hands slide down and grip my ass, kneading and lifting me forcefully, swinging me around to place me on top of the dryer.

Evidently in tune with his intentions, I wrap my legs around his waist, locking my ankles and pulling his lower half as close to me as I can. Between the heat of the dryer below and the friction generated by my impromptu leg lock, it's my turn to make embarrassing noises. I tilt my head back trying to catch my breath, moaning, "God, yes" as he kisses and licks his way down my neck to my collarbone all the while his erection is pressing against my core tightly.

"More…" I beg.

He returns to kiss my mouth again hungrily. We can't seem to get close enough, wanting to consume the other over and over again. Once again, he presses his forehead against mine and we are practically panting into each other's mouths. I vaguely hear a couple of sets of footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Bel-la, where are you, doll?" Tanya inquires with a sing-song voice, "Ty is going to take us home if you're rea-dy."

I open my eyes wide to meet his. As soon as he heard her voice, he scrunched his eyes shut tight and he begins lightly shaking his head. He swallows thickly and whispered fervently "Stay." His tone is commanding, but I can hear the desperation behind it. He licks his lips, opens his eyes and softer this time, he pleads, "Please stay... with me, please."

"Bells?" the inflection of her voice rises slightly with worry, "Bells, you in there? C'mon we have to go – you have a lab in the morning."

I bite and pull my lip, indecision must have colored my face. His eyes are no longer lust filled, they are tender, reverent. He gently pulls my lip from my teeth and rubs the pad of his thumb over it, soothing the sting.

"BELLA!" Tanya shouts as her knocking becomes more incessant.

Sighing, I turn my head to answer her, "Be right there, Tan."

Unlocking my legs from around his waist, Edward steps back and offers his hand so I can hop off of the dryer. I stare at our hands as his long fingers intertwine with mine. Once my feet hit the floor he pulls me close again and places a short, chaste kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be seeing you soon, Bella." He whispers.

I can't tell by his inflection if it is a promise, a query, or a casual good-bye, but I nod my head uncertainly.

"Goodnight, Edward". I murmur. I turn and amble awkwardly to the door.

I startle Tanya as I approach her from behind. She has her ear to Edward's door; all she is missing is a glass. At least she has the decency to look embarrassed being caught red handed.

"Oh. There you are." She stands and crosses her arms over her chest with her, 'you got some explaining to do' look on her face. "And what were you up to in the laundry room, pray tell?" She asks arching her eyebrow accusingly.

Tyler snickers behind her, "Yeah Bells, looks like you were having _loads_ of fun in that laundry room."

I can't contain the smile on my face as I shake my head. I can tell my cheeks are flushed and it won't be hard to guess what was going on in that laundry room, but for now, I want to keep the details of our friendship and laundry room practices all to myself.

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**A/N… Ugh - damn you Tanya and Chocolate Thunder! How dare you interrupt our girl getting her groove back on a major appliance! Sorry dolls, I tried to get her lei'd, er, I mean laid... Honest I tried - but it's a slow burn and a little UST never killed anyone, right? (*chuckles nervously*)**

**It's time to get down to the heart of the matter, Don Henley - how crazy did everyone go at BD2? I lost my mind for about 20 minutes there - pointing and yelling like a lunatic. My friend dropped an F bomb though - so thankfully I appeared less crazy (in my mind). **

**I will post the next update on Thursday morning as I will be taking off for the Thanksgiving holiday. **

**Thank you so much for all of the follows, faves, reviews, Facebook shout outs and recs! **


	7. Chapter 7 - Confessions

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**This update comes early as I have to pack for our three day trip to Chicago. Utterly amazed by the amount of stuff I have out to take for a family of six including a set of newborn twins. You would think we're going on a trip around the world - pure ridiculousness I tell you. So, let's see how our girl is doing the morning after...**

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Chapter 7 – Confessions

I woke up at 8:00 AM with what would have been the worst hangover known to man if my body wasn't still physically vibrating with the memories from last night. I tried to shower and dress quickly in hopes that I could grab a beverage to help me keep my eyes open before my lab this morning. No such luck, but with the spare 5 minutes I had before I trudged to class I decided to reacquaint myself with the outside world via Facebook. Pathetic, only one notification letting me know Rosalie posted on my wall.

**Wall post from Rosalie Hale to Bella Swan**

_Bells, Tan and I will meet you at the Starbucks in the union at 11:30 ish. NO EXCUSES!_

Ugh, this has all the signs of an ambush, in my experience with Tanya/Rosalie information seeking tactics, nonchalance is always the best way to go so I hit that comment button.

**Bella Swan**: _Sure thing dolls, I get out of my lab at 11, so I will be there with bells on._

I quickly scroll down to see what else is going on with my peeps when I notice Edward had posted a status early this morning.

**Wall post – Edward Cullen**

_Loads of fun – laundry might be my new obsession._

4 people_ like _this

I giggle and click on the comments, almost positive that Tyler would add some humourous commentary.

**Comments:**

**Tyler Crowley**: _Yeah, I'll bet it is._

**Heidi Hunter**: _OMG Eddie... Exactly how drunk were you when you wrote this?_

**Esme Platt-Cullen**: _So glad to hear of your new obsession, I take it you won't be bringing it home for me to do this weekend, then?_

I can't help but roll my eyes at Heidi's comment. Apparently in my drunken haze I forgot about their _situation_. I feel slightly guilty, but I can't help but feel a little more confident given the thinly veiled reference to our laundry room tryst being put on blast. With that thought, I shut my laptop and make my way to class.

Sitting through the lab is painful. I try my hardest to follow along, but my current condition and four day self-imposed exile proved harmful to academic excellence. _Note to self, hit the books this weekend, Swan!_

I make my way to the Starbucks, checking my cell phone to see if the interrogation is still on. So far, no word from Rose or Tanya, so I guess I'm not off the hook. I jump in line, inhaling the deliciousness and debating on whether my stomach is strong enough for hot chocolate and a pastry. After deciding it is, I make my way to the counter and place my order. The barista swipes my card and hands it back to me grumbling a thank you. _Apparently smiles aren't free today_.

"Mike, over here!" I hear a girlish squeal across the coffee shop.

I glance over and see a petite girl with curly, brown hair waving her arms enthusiastically. Perhaps I am still heavily intoxicated, but suddenly everything morphed into slow motion as I see Mike saunter over to her and her steaming cups of coffee with a great big smile on his face. She stands up and pulls him into a hug. From my vantage point, it looks as though she is trying to get him into her kung-fu grip, while Mike is giving her the "church hug". You know, the ass out, two pats on the back, "God be with you and also with you" hug.

I need to look away, eat the $7.00 cost of a delicious beverage and tasty treat and make tracks. Unfortunately, Brian the Bitch Barista makes escaping a virtual impossibility. While he is unable to utter an intelligible "thank you", he makes up for it in spades by yelling my name across the shop at full volume, making sure to annunciate each syllable of my name.

Mike's shoulders tense and he slowly looks over his shoulder at me. I'm almost positive that the shocked expression on my face matches his. Unable to hide my unease, I nodded my head at the barista.

"That's me." I say.

All of a sudden Bitchy Brian is all smiles, even adding a "Have a great day" as he hands me my drink and pastry.

I push down the urge to give him the finger, suck in a breath and turn to face Mike and his new, _friend_. He is still looking at me, waiting to see if I will approach. I can't help but notice that the church hug embrace is a bit tighter, a bit more possessive. I also can't help but notice Curly Sue's smug grin.

"Uh, hey… Bella." Mike stutters nervously, eyeing me like a cheating spouse on the Jerry Springer Show.

"Hey Mike." I reply feigning nonchalance and failing miserably.

An uncomfortable silence washes over us, so my curly doppelganger decides to intervene.

"Hi! I'm Jessica by the way." She blurts, extending her hand.

I go in for the awkward handshake and am not too terribly surprised that the brunette sprite goes for the power play, gripping my hand a little more firmly than necessary with a few too many shakes to punctuate her point. Mike must have noticed her teeth barring grin morphed into that of Bruce the Shark from Finding Nemo and decides to intervene.

"Uh, yeah, this is Jess. Jess, this is Bella." He says waving his hand between us.

"Oh," recognition coloring her face and her smug grin returning as she releases my hand, "so nice to meet you… Bella."

I clear my throat and mumble, "Likewise."

I then turn my gaze back to Mike whose expression is a healthy mix between mortification and vindication when he suddenly realizes that he has the upper hand here. He smiles a shit eating grin as Jess intertwines her hand in his.

"Jess and I were just having a coffee date." He explains looking down at her to smile as if to say thanks for playing along.

More than happy to oblige, Jessica shrugs her shoulders and adds, "Again" in a sing-song voice that loosely translates to _nana nana boo boo, stick your head in doo doo. _

I nod my head and may have thrown a thumbs up backing away. "Well, I'll let you two get back to it then." I stammer through my hasty retreat, when suddenly I feel a hand on my lower back.

"There you are, sorry I am late. Did you already order?" The velvety smooth voice of my savior inquires, placing a soft kiss on the top of my head.

I look up to confirm that Edward is in fact beside me and attempting to even the score so to speak. He has an easy smile on his face, but his green irises are communicating for me to _play along_. I nod slowly before getting my wits together. I smile widely at my friend

"Hey, yeah, I already ordered. Sorry, I couldn't remember your drink entirely and I didn't want to screw it up."

His lips pull into his crooked smirk, seemingly impressed by my improvisation skills. He looks over at Mike and Jess and gives them a dazzling smile. He nods his head at Mike and Jess, apparently this is my cue to introduce him.

"Edward, this is Mike and… Jessica, was it?" I play dumb, nothing like making someone feel insignificant to boost your self-esteem right? I could have called her by the wrong name, but I thought that wouldn't be as subtle.

Edward extends his hand to Jessica first, her wrist noticeably daintier than the five finger smack down she inflicted on my hand minutes before. Now, I can't be sure, but I think I audibly hear Jessica's panties soak. Her jaw is slack and she is a lip lick away from her expression being regarded as a seductive stare.

Edward deftly slides his hand from her grip and focuses his attention on Mike. His confidence never falters as he extends his hand once again, regarding Mike kindly with a gentle smile that could have been construed two ways. One, just a genuine pleasure to meet you or two, I dry humped your ex-girlfriend on a dryer last night and I am pretty sure if I had two more minutes, she would have come. Mike clearly took it to mean option two as he forcefully grips Edward's hand, giving him a tight lipped smile. Growing increasingly uncomfortable, I tug on Edward's coat.

"Hey, let's go place your order and let these two get back to their _coffee date._" I suggest noting Jessica's pleasure that I acknowledged Mike was here, with her, on a date. "I'll see you around Mike," I add sweetly, "so nice to meet you Jessica."

They give us faint waves as I continue tugging a smirking Edward back to the line. We stand side-by-side in line in silence for a few moments; the desire to take his hand in mine is overwhelming. I keep my expression passive, wanting to give nothing away, only a small Mona Lisa smile to keep him guessing.

"So… Are you stalking me, Cullen?" I inquire casually.

He laughs lightly looking down at his feet, replying coyly, "You wish, Swan. Your whereabouts were all over Facebook this morning."

I nod, quickly countering, "Ah, yes. I did put that out there, much like your newfound passion for _laundry, _right?"

He smiles broadly and nods as if to say "Touché, Swan, touché." He places his order with bi-polar Brian the Barista who appears to have a man-crush on my _coffee date_. We quickly find a seat as far away from Mike and Jess as humanly possible as Edward seems to sense my discomfort when he first begins inching towards their side of the room.

We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, prepping our food for consumption. I can't help but be nervous sitting across from this unbelievably gorgeous man. Much like they say on Sesame Street, _one of these things is not like the other. _Clearly sensing my discomfort, he scoots his seat up, places his forearms on the table and folds his hands together. He clears his throat, but his voice still comes out husky and unsure.

"So, you guys are done, right?"

His eyes are fixated on his hands, not daring to look up at me. I am puzzled; he gave no indication ever that he was aware of my situation. I am sure he heard things here and there from Emmett and Tyler, but something about the way he asked the question makes me think he knows more than he is letting on.

"Uh, yeah, we're done" I admit to him and myself with finality. "It's just still kind of fresh and awkward and just, you know…" I trail off.

Still starring at his hands, he softly mumbles, "He didn't deserve you."

For some reason I feel the need to come to Mike's defense giving the table a small rap to get his attention.

"Hey," I warn as he finally looks up at me, "you have no idea what you are talking about. This was on me."

His jaw tightens and his eyes narrow, his voice drops an octave lower and he leans forward.

"I was there, Bella," he replies slowly, "and I heard _every fucking word_."

He sits back as if to let it sink in. My expression must show my confusion.

"Who do you think called Tanya, Bella? Didn't you ask yourself how she knew where to find you?"

I close my eyes, piecing together the puzzle as he answers the questions I never thought to ask. Mortified that he saw what I was capable of and how pathetic I must have sounded begging for him to come back after he had cut me down to size. I put my face in my hands, willing the earth to swallow me whole. I can feel the table shift and suddenly his hands are on mine, pulling them away from my face. Thankfully I haven't burst into tears, though I am sure my face is flushed with embarrassment.

He furrows his brow and speaks soothingly, "This wasn't on you, Bella. You aren't wrong for wanting more than what he was willing to give. He wasn't listening to a word you said, you know that things would have never changed, right?"

I nod slightly. "Doesn't matter though, I lied. I lied for years. But I swear I didn't want to hurt his feelings, I promise, I never ever wanted him to hurt."

My confession is desperate and pleading, gripping his hands hoping my sincerity would ring true. We are silent for a few moments, hands still intertwined, mine only trembling slightly. I take a few calming breaths. A piece of hair falls in my eye and I try to blow it out of my face, not wanting to relinquish the death grip I have on his hands. He let's go and gently brushes it behind my ear, quickly taking my hand back in his.

Unable to meet my eyes again, he quietly asks, "Do you still love him?"

I release his hands and wrap my arms around myself. I have been asking myself this for days. I blow out a deep breath and look out at the bustling quad through the window.

"Yes and no." I answer softly. "Yes because he has literally been my best friend for years. I care for him so much. He is such a huge part of my life." With all of these thoughts and admissions bubbling to the surface, I continue, but somehow it feels as though I am telling myself, more so than him. "Being with him was easy, you know, we were kind of each other's biggest fan. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that I guess, grew resentful or something, I don't know." I clear my throat and swallow thickly.

I chose my words carefully as I begin my next explanation. "And no because while I feel an immense sense of remorse for hurting him, lying to him for so long, I don't necessarily feel like I need him back to go on, you know? I feel at ease with my choice in a way. This whole week, I've been struggling, but I am not sure if I was just overwhelmed with guilt, or if I was doing what everyone else expected of me. I think the writing has been on the wall for a while now, I guess I just finally came to terms with it."

Again, we sit in silence. I pick apart my pastry, not wanting to be the first to speak after my damning confession. The longer the silence draws out, the more uneasy I become blurting the only thought going through my head at the moment.

"So now you know, right?"

He looks up at me, swallowing down his coffee puzzled. "Now I know what?"

I grab my hot chocolate, rubbing my finger tip over the lid. "What I am capable of. How cold I can be. Now you know this one was on me, right?"

I don't know why I am baiting him to tear me to shreds or why I feel the need to tell him every crazy reasoning for the break-up in my head or why I feel so comfortable saying these things to him in the first place.

He lightly chuckles again, shaking his head. "Not at all, Swan." He reassures me. He reaches across the table taking my hands in his once again and pulling me closer before whispering, "You can't scare me off that easy."

Relieved to be off the hot seat and having the air between us cleared so to speak, I visibly relax. We talk casually for the next few minutes. Apparently next week is his birthday, so naturally Emmett decided the theme for Thursday night should be a good old' fashioned toga party. I mentally make a note to call Alice to thank her for the outfit, and subtly hint that I need a bed sheet to make me look like a goddess.

Speaking of goddesses, out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of Rose and Tanya. They loiter near the entrance, watching Edward and I intently. As I wave them over, Edward looks over his shoulder and gives them his signature smirk and a short wave. Tanya gives an O.G. style head nod, while Rose opts for the finger wave, followed by a thumb and pinky phone next to her ear mouthing an exaggerated _call me_. They turn and exit back out to the union. Rose's hot pink sorority hoody reminds me of a certain situation I have to clarify with Edward.

As he turns back to me, I lean forward to go all Barbara Walters on him. "So… What's the deal with you and Heidi?"

His expression gives nothing away, but I notice his body tenses slightly. He tries to play it off with a snort.

"Heidi. Absolutely nothing." He replies looking directly into my eyes. "We're old friends."

"That's an interesting choice of words there, Cullen. Are you _friends_ with Heidi like you are _friends_ with me?" I ask, secretly praying that he doesn't make a habit of fondling that supermodel on his major appliances.

He shakes his head in the negative and I feel instantly relieved. "No. As far as I am concerned, Heidi and I haven't been friends like that for a while. Our families are tight. People around here assume or expect us to be… more still."

My relief quickly dissipates. He had in fact been her _friend_, probably in the biblical sense. He also indicates that at this point it is one sided, but encouraged by family and friends. I gnaw at my lip, feeling foolish for thinking I stood a chance with him against her.

"I see." I softly reply.

I feel his fingers against my chin, pulling my face up to look at him. "Hey. Don't read into it. It's not like that." He tries to reassure me.

"Then what's it like?" I counter, my tone a little harsher than necessary.

His jaw tightens, he either clearly doesn't like my line of questioning, or the fact that there doesn't seem to be a clear cut answer. "It's like I said. As far as _I am concerned_," he stipulates once again, "we are just friends."

"Yeah, I got that. But talk to me like I am four, Edward. I know what it is as far as you are concerned, but how about Heidi. How is it as far as she is concerned?" I bite back, failing miserably to hide the venom in my voice.

His eyes widen in surprise. _Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with me? _Before he can respond, I put my hands up into a submissive gesture.

"Oh my gosh, please forgive me. I am just… tired and hung-over and clearly minutes away from starting my period or something because I sound like a lunatic. You don't have to answer. I had no right to demand a relationship status from you. I'm just so sorry." I stammer incoherently.

The cocky crooked smirk is back as he reaches for my hands again. He seems to enjoy my vulnerability.

"Bella, stop. You are getting worked up over nothing. There is no me and Heidi in any other capacity than pals. Our dads play golf together; our moms are in a book club together. We literally run in the same circles." He reassures me rubbing his thumb over my hand soothingly. "And besides," he adds seductively, "you know you are the only one I like to do laundry with."

I can't stop the stupid ass grin that forms on my face at his last statement or the way my body begins to flush at the memory. We loiter for about twenty minutes more when he has to leave for his next class. We exchange numbers and each make promises to chat soon since he will be going home to celebrate his birthday over the weekend and I am going on house arrest, trying to catch up on my school work, as well as starting my new part-time gig at the library this weekend.

As I walk back to my dorm, I can't help but think about all of the craziness that the week has brought. Every heightened emotion, every instance, every high and low, every pit and peak, I become more confident that I made the right choice for myself. For the first time in a long time, I feel really alive and excited for the possibilities. I hear footsteps behind me coming up quick and someone calling my name. I would know the voice anywhere and I'm not sure I am ready for this particular awkward encounter.

"Bella, hold up." He shouts, winded as he jogs to catch up to me.

I stand awkwardly and paint on the sad smile that I had worn in our previous uncomfortable meeting this morning.

"Hey Mike." I quietly reply.

He stops about three feet away from me, trying to catch his breath, studying and playing with the strap of his back-pack nervously.

"Uh, Bells. I just wanted to say that I am," he lets out a deep breath as though he has rehearsed this conversation a thousand times, "really sorry for how everything went down the other night." He clears his throat and begins again, "I said some really shitty stuff to you, most of which I didn't mean, but it's no excuse." He looks up at me; the sincerity of his next words ring true in his voice and in his eyes. "I am so sorry."

I let out the deep breath that I've been holding, shaking my head furiously. "Do not apologize to me, Mike," I state firmly, "I honestly don't deserve your kindness. I handled the whole thing horribly; I can't even explain how awful I am for hurting you and you had every right to be angry with me."

He gestures for me to have a seat at a nearby bench. We go back and forth as to who was the worse one, sliding down the shame spiral together. This is the Mike I know, the one who got me and I got him. We each owned up to our portion of the blame.

I admitted that I was sure I could have spent the rest of my life with him, relatively happy because he was that great of a guy, but I had to be true to myself. He agreed saying the same, but also admitting that the physical intimacy in our relationship wasn't that important to him. For him it was the companionship, we were a good team, like his mom and dad. He also opened up about how his dad, who has been pretty sick for the past few weeks, had been diagnosed with cancer the day before. They were going to find out the results of the PET scan on Monday and were hoping for the best. He told me how desperately he wanted to call me, share his fears, just to hear my voice telling him that I was there. I told him he could always call me and that just because we weren't Mike and Bella anymore, didn't mean that we couldn't still be there for each other. We began to part ways with a tight hug and promises to chat often.

As I turn to walk away, Mike stops me, "Hey, wait. So, you and Cullen, huh?" He asks placing his hands in his pockets uneasily.

I smile and shake my head, "Nah, we're just _friends_."

"Yeah, right, _friends,_" busting out the air quotes as he says friends. "He looks at you like you are something to eat." He finishes as he quirks his brow and shakes his head.

I shake my head, smiling widely. "This comes from the guy who had two coffee dates with Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction?" I ask incredulously making Mike laugh. "I am so serious Mike. She has your kids names picked out and Mrs. Jessica Newton written all over her notebook."

"She does have the crazy vibe doesn't she?" Mike agrees.

"Uh, yeah, if you get chopped into a million little pieces, I know she will be behind it. Seriously, be careful with that one." I warn.

"Will do. And you don't rush into anything either." He advises shaking his finger. "Guys like Cullen can spot an eager beaver from a mile away."

My jaw drops. "Michael Samuel Newton, Jr. Did you just make a joke with sexual innuendo?"

Walking backwards now, he shrugs with a guilty smile, wagging his eyebrows. "See you around, _pal._" He teases.

And just like that, I had one of my best friends back, a clear conscience, and a text from my newest _friend_, requesting a follow-up coffee date of my own.

* * *

**A/N… Oh yeah, did I mention that Mike is involved somewhat significantly throughout the entire story? Oh, I forgot that detail, did I? *chuckles awkwardly* No worries though - there will be no love triangle per say, feel free to put your pitchforks away... **

**So this chapter begins the countdown to Togaward. No joke, when we get to the Toga party in honor of Edward's birthday - shit gets real. Who's with me? First, how about we let the_ friends _go on a first date of sorts, yes?**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate the holiday here and abroad! Be safe if you are traveling today, pals!**

**And speaking of gratitude, thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, favorited and pimped this fic on Facebook! I am humbled by your kindness *bows grandly***


	8. Chapter 8 - Bella Notte

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Let's get this date over with so we can get our girl to the toga party...**

* * *

Chapter 8 – Bella Notte

As I expect, I walk into my dorm room only to find an anxious Tanya and an expectant Rose.

"Well, well, well… Fancy meeting you here." Rose teases, as she quickly dials the phone and places it on speaker. As the phone begins to ring, Rose looks positively gleeful getting her interrogation underway.

Alice's voice comes over the line, "It's about time, bitches – is she there yet?"

"Yep, she's back from her coffee date with her new boy toy." Tanya replies with a smile that screams, "caught ya, you hoe".

"Excellent, let the interrogation begin. Now Bella, we each get five questions – you get to veto only one for each of us. Agreed?" Alice negotiates.

I shake my head and roll my eyes knowing that I have little choice in the matter as Alice ups the crazy factor to a solid 10. "Fine, but you each only get three questions and no follow ups or requests to elaborate." I counter.

"Ugh! Fine – but you know we live for the specifics so spare no details, agreed?" The pixie begs.

"Agreed, let's just get this over with – what do you want to know? I submit with a huff.

The girls came at me with both barrels. I divulge the dirty details of our evening as well as the unexpected events this morning. It is surprisingly therapeutic to put it all out there, allowing myself to analyze everything for the first time. The girls are equally puzzled by the weeks' turn of events, especially where Edward is concerned.

Friday and Saturday fly by as I focus solely on academics. That's a lie. Edward and I also maintain a steady getting to know you text conversation discussing everything from favorite movies and books to Edward confessing that he did in fact keep up with the Kardashians. Our banter is silly and fun and illustrated as well. I laugh hysterically as I open a picture of him pouting by a Jetson's futuristic looking high-tech washer and dryer which was housed in what appears to be a laundry room from the Pottery Barn Catalog.

Edward and I chat over the phone on Saturday night to firm up our plans for Sunday night coffee. I let him know that I will be working at the library until 5:00 pm so I offer to just meet him afterward. He insists on picking me up once my shift is over so he can walk me to the shop. I agree without hesitation as I knew I would take any opportunity to spend more time with him.

"So _Miss Swan_," he purrs, "are you going to wear your hair up and go for the whole naughty librarian look?

I can't help it, I hum audibly. I swear I try to stop the fantasies of him bending me over the card catalog or him slamming into me against the shelves, but the images won't stop. Edwards breathing seems to pick up, making me think that he too was having similar thoughts.

With a sudden surge of confidence I reply with a breathy moan, "Hmm… Would you like that Edward?"

After a few moments, possibly wondering if he heard that right, he answers. "More than you know, _Miss Swan_."

We are silent for a few moments when I hear his mom call him to let him know they are leaving soon. Apparently they are heading to dinner at their country club to celebrate his birthday. He tells me he will be in touch and is looking forward to our plans for tomorrow. We say our goodbyes, but I still feel the need to leave him with a lasting impression.

I pile my hair onto the top of my head and put on Tanya's cat-eyed reading glasses. I then remove my shirt and pull down my bra straps. I have Tanya snap a picture of me with my Human Sexuality book open, naked shoulders exposed, biting my lip, and giving him what I hope looks like bedroom eyes. After approving the picture, Tanya sends it before I lose my nerve. I receive an immediate text back thanking me for the early birthday gift. He continues to text me throughout the evening and the content of his texts become more and more indecent. I love it.

Sunday morning I wake with a start, clearly overly excited about my evening. I shower and shave thoroughly just in case Edward feels like studying anatomy, my anatomy to be exact. Having thirty minutes to kill before I have to head over to the library, I jump on Facebook to distract myself from my thoughts of Edward. Unfortunately, I can't escape Edward even if I tried. I am immediately bombarded by images that Heidi tagged him in from the night before. The pictures start fairly innocent, pictures of Edward with his mom and dad, pictures with Edward, his parents and another couple. And finally, pictures of Edward and Heidi. And here I thought Mike and I were good on paper. They were posed like the King and Queen of the Prom or like an engagement photo you would see in the society pages. The pictures don't get any better from there. It appears the more he drink the friendlier they get. Most pictures were of her hanging all over him, or her and her friend Gianna kissing his cheeks. I couldn't help but agree with Rose that she was marking her territory with him.

I am determined to not let this get me down. I have to trust him. If he says that they are just friends, I have no reason not to believe him. Besides, he was texting me all night, right?

Arriving at the library shortly thereafter, I am given a tour of the facility by a very enthusiastic guy named Eric Yorkie. He is outwardly friendly in that I'm not trying to look at your tits kind of way. You can tell that this tour is a major social event for him, especially since in doing so he is able to ogle the other new hire, Heidi's second in command, Lieutenant Skank – Lauren Mallory. Eric is going to have spank bank material for weeks after watching her bending over to load the microfilm or reaching high to return a book to its shelf with the hem of her shirt rising above her mid-rift.

The day goes by quickly, so quickly in fact that I don't realize that it is almost time to go, until a certain green eyed_ friend_ of mine makes his presence known. I am sorting books to shelve when he comes up behind me, resting his head on my shoulder and his arms around my waist. He turns his head and inhales deeply, hopefully my hair doesn't smell like sweaty little boy head.

"I hardly recognize you without your glasses and your Human Sexuality book," he whispers deeply before placing a soft kiss under my ear. "Tell me Miss Swan, do you plan on wearing that get up to work, or can it be for my eyes only?"

I close my eyes, sigh and lean my head onto his shoulder and… grind my ass back into the now prominent bulge in his pants. "Gee, I don't know Mr. Cullen. I usually reserve that outfit for special study sessions. Perhaps you should make an appointment…" I suggest casually.

His hands move from my waist to my hips, holding them in place as he pushes forward slowly. "Oh yes, Miss Swan. That could definitely be arranged." He replies through gritted teeth, letting me know the effect I am having on him.

A throat clears and someone approaches us, stomping loudly enough on the carpet to make a ruckus.

"Ed-ward" a high pitch voice calls out.

Edward and I turn our heads to the left to find Lauren Mallory standing there with her arms crossed under her tits pushing them up which partially distracts from the disbelieving look on her face.

"What are you doing here?"

Unmoving, Edward clears his throat. "Hello Lauren." He sneers.

I drop my eyes back to my job, desperately trying to distract myself from the situation at hand. Clearly noticing our embrace, Lauren approaches. I can't help but notice her expression goes from incredulous to predatory. She lowers her voice to a harsh whisper.

"Does Heidi know that you are banging the bookworm?"

Edward releases my waist and nudges my hip so I find myself standing behind him. His stance is protective as he towers over her. She smiles seductively, clearly pleased with her ability to elicit a reaction from him.

With his teeth clenched, Edward responds, "What I do and who I spend time with is none of Heidi's concern. I am sure _she_ will tell you the same thing when you run back to report like the good little minion that you are."

He turns back to me presumably to ask if I am ready to go, however Lauren decides to try to get the last word in.

"You could have fooled me. It looked pretty clear that you two are far from over from the pictures she posted on Facebook." She snips, smiling smugly. She leans over to address me directly, "You seem like a nice girl, bookworm. Wouldn't want you to get hurt thinking you actually stood a shot…"

"One," he grits his teeth firmly, "Her name is Bella, not bookworm. Two, it was actually you who didn't stand a shot with me a mere two weeks ago when you snuck down to my room with every intention to blow me. Your friend Heidi didn't seem to be a concern to you then."

My eyes widen at the amount of venom in his voice. He turns and quickly grabs my hand, leading me to the elevators. On one hand I am mortified by how this situation escalated so quickly. On the other, I am quite sure I am completely turned on by how quickly Edward took control of the situation. His anger was swift and dominating, scary and sexy all at once.

We enter the elevator, my hand still firmly grasped in his. His eyes are shut and he is breathing deeply through his nose, I can tell he is trying to calm down. I am trying to settle down myself, trying to hold back the urge to throw him against the elevator doors and drop to my knees showing my appreciation. I begin rubbing small circles into the back of the hand I am holding. He turns and looks at me slowly. His green eyes are apologetic, yet feral. _Perhaps Mr. Cullen wanted to throw me against the elevator doors too._

The elevator doors open and I tell him that I need to clock out and grab my coat. He nods and says he will wait for me near the entrance. I run to the break-room to clock out and steal a quick look in the mirror. My eyes are wide and my cheeks are flushed. I dab a little mint lip balm across my lips hoping that in the next hour or two they will be swollen from a passionate make out session.

Just as I am about to leave, the break-room door swings open. Lauren saunters in with a haughty smirk. She must not have been aware that I too am fluent in _bitch_. I give her my brightest smile and a teasing finger wave.

"Have a great night, Lauren!" I beam as I walk past her. Opening the door partially, I turn back and with a self-satisfied smirk and a wink I add, "I know I will."

Confidently, I stroll up to Edward wrapping my arm around his elbow, hugging it slightly. "Alright Cullen, I am starving. Care to do dinner instead?" I ask quirking my brow in challenge.

Edward nods, smiling my favorite crooked grin. "You got it, Swan! I know just the place."

We walk arm in arm through the quad and about three blocks. We are on the complete opposite side of campus from my dorm and his house, can't say I am bummed that we will have a long walk home. We make small talk for the most part, reviewing the early part of our weekend. I told him about how Mike and I talked on Friday, agreed to still be friends. I couldn't quite read his reaction to my good news, although his biting tone and bitter retort of "good luck with that" made me think that he found this turn of events unpleasant or was well versed in the delicate nuance of being friends with an ex. Like Scarlet O'Hara – I guess I'll think about that later. Before I realized it we had arrived at a small Italian restaurant. As we walked in we were loudly welcomed by a portly balding man with a pencil mustache.

"Edward! How are you my boy?" The man grasps Edward's cheeks, greeting him in a booming voice and a thick Italian accent.

"Doing well, Carlo! Long time no see!" Edward beams, clearly just as happy to see this guy as well.

"And who," releasing Edward's face, "is this beautiful lady?" Carlo asks as he grabs both of my hands and places delicate kisses on the backs of each.

I can't help the blush that creeps across my face; this guy is so over the top, yet so sincere. Edward places his hand on my lower back and smiles at me, reverently.

"Carlo, this is _my_ Isabella. Bella, this is Carlo Russo, the owner of this establishment and longtime family friend."

Carlo releases my hands and goes in for the double cheek kiss before turning to Edward, "She is beautiful, Edward! Come, you'd like to eat, yes? I will get you the room in the back."

He turns quickly, grabs a couple of menus and leads us to a private area in the back. It is dimly lit and so romantic. Carlo's son Gino is our waiter for the evening, he is just as friendly as his father, though it doesn't escape Edward's notice how his eyes roam over my body. Edward quickly places an order for the two of us, effectively dismissing Gino. I've never had a man chose for me; normally I think I would find it presumptuous, offensive even. But when Edward did it, it was sexy as hell, and just like that, my inner feminist is silenced.

We laugh and chat for hours as Carlo sends over a complimentary bottle of wine, which leads to us ordering two more once the evening is said and done. Around 10:00 pm, Gino brings Edward the slip to sign for our bill. As Edward is placing his credit card back in his pocket, Gino wishes us a good evening and thanks us for dining with them. Walking away though, he abruptly turns around with a slight smirk on his face.

"Oh and Edward,I spoke with Gianna this evening, she said she is _sorry_ she missed you."

Edward stiffens slightly before his signature cool comes back, nodding mechanically at Gino as if he is willing himself not to punch him in the face. We begin walking back to my dorm. It is chilly, but I can hardly be bothered since his arm is holding me tightly.

"So… Gianna?" I ask smirking as if I would be able to resist asking about Gino's cryptic warning.

Edward snickers, clearly expecting my line of questioning. "Gianna, is Gino's sister and Carlo's daughter." He replies dryly.

I nod, obviously not satisfied with that answer, "Or an old flame, by chance?" I counter looking up at him.

He smiles again, shaking his head. "No, nothing like that. She is another one of Heidi's minions." He looks right back at me to gauge my reaction.

Putting two and two together I realize why the name seemed familiar.

"Ahh, Facebook Gianna. Double cheek kissing, drunk friend, Gianna. Got it." I reply sarcastically. "I am sure she was _sorry_ to miss you since it has been ages since she's seen you last."

"You saw those, huh." He speculates, rubbing his jaw with his free hand.

I shrug, nodding my head and dropping my eyes to focus on the sidewalk. We fall into an uncomfortable silence. I don't want our perfect night to end like this and we are about 200 feet from my dorm. So I remove his arm from my shoulder and grasp his hands in mine, walking backwards so I can look at him as we walk.

"So what would you like for your birthday, Cullen?" I ask excitedly, trying to lighten the mood.

He beams back at me; he seems to be thankful that I'm not going to press him about his evening with Heidi and Gianna.

"I want lots of things, Miss Swan." He replies playfully.

In an instant, confident Bella is back. I grip his hand tighter and begin rubbing the back of his other hand slowly.

"I am sure you do," stepping forward to get closer to him and whispering seductively, "but what would you like from me?"

Our eyes lock and he steps towards me, standing centimeters away. I release his hand and just like the first time, he pulls me closer, wrapping his fingers in my hair. I close my eyes and part my lips slightly in anticipation. I can barely control my breathing; I am desperate for his kiss. He comes closer to my lips, and then at the last second, he turns my head, placing his lips near my ear. He breathes deeply through his nose before he begins speaking.

"I want you to stay with me, all night. I want to wake up in the morning, next to you. We don't have to do anything; I just want you to be by my side. Will you do that for me, Bella?"

I close my eyes and nod my head. I would do just about anything to be beside him. And right there, under a lamp-post in the quad, he lifts my chin and places a small kiss on my lips.

"Thank you, _my _Bella." He whispers, smiling against my lips.

Unable to contain myself any longer, I grab the back of his head and kiss him hard. It takes him a split second to catch up, opening his perfect mouth to deepen the kiss. The kiss is consuming, we are all lips and tongues and gnashing teeth. It is feral and sloppy, yet intimate and reverent. I am clearly high on his words – in this moment, I am _his Bella._ We continue in our enraptured state until I hesitantly release my hold on his hair and extracted my lips from his, panting into his mouth.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening. I had the best time." I speak softly, hoping he can hear the sincerity in my voice.

He once again gives me his crooked smile. "It was entirely my pleasure, Bella. I can't wait to do it again." He murmurs against my forehead before placing a soft kiss against it.

"Goodnight, Edward" I reply quietly, walking backwards and giving him a soft wave.

He waves back before sticking his hands in his jean pockets. I turn around and start briskly walking to my dorm. It takes everything in me to walk through that door; otherwise I am sure I would have sprinted right back to him and rode him like the Kentucky Derby on a nearby bench. Just as I am about to place my key in the lock, I receive a couple of texts. I glance at the screen and smile so big I am sure my face will hurt.

_On Thursday, Bring your iPod with you so we can make a playlist of our own. – E_

_Best first date EVER! - E_

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**A/N… Now that the first date is out of the way - it's time to let Bella's inner whore out to play... Who's with me? **

**Strip your beds, dolls and wrap your sheets securely around your body - it's time to get down with Togaward! Let me hear ya, everybody now... Toga! Toga! Toga!**

**Thanks a bunch to whoever nominated me for Fic of the Week at the Lemonade Stand. I am beyond humbled. There are some wonderful fics up this week, including one of my faves, The Life Aquatic by Coldplaywhore. Here's the link if you would like to vote for the five that move you most, tehlemonadestand dot net/?zx=a9e70feedaaa6484 **

**Also, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, favorited, pimped and lurked this fic. I am so grateful :) **


	9. Chapter 9 - Hot in Herre

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly…**

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…  
**

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Chapter 9 – Hot in Herre

The week passes relatively quickly. Edward and I keep in constant contact sending funny texts or emails to one other. We talk on the phone each evening and meet for a couple of coffee dates between our classes. Regrettably, making out and dry humping at a booth or a public bench is frowned upon, so I manage to control myself around him, settling for hand holding and chaste kisses.

We also sit together in our Human Sexuality class. I swear, I never thought anything could distract me from the topic of BDSM, but my attention is successfully being diverted by questionable thoughts of Edward.

His hands are massive, adorned with long, thick fingers. I can only imagine how good they will feel all over me… in me. My eyes rake up his body and settle on his lips. I already know how good they feel on my mouth and skin but the thought of him putting his mouth on other parts of my body causes me to audibly shudder and squeeze my legs together, seeking some sort of imaginary friction. Unfortunately for me, he hears my reaction, and turns to look at me. I am sure I am leering at him like some sort of sexual predator. I release my lip from my teeth and lightly run my tongue over my bottom lip to quell the sting. He gives me a satisfied smirk before refocusing his attention back on the professor.

Thursday finally arrives. Alice comes through on some amazing togas. Mine is a silky cream bodice trimmed in gold. The bottom is long and flowing, save for the two thigh-high slits on either side of my body leaving very little to the imagination. I certainly feel like a goddess and given what I have planned for Edward this evening, I am going to need all of the confidence I can get.

Tanya and Rosalie don't ask me too much about what is going on with Edward and I, which I find unusual. I wonder if they have just taken the cue from me that I am going to just see where this all goes, though in my head I am playing it anywhere but cool. I also secretly worry that they are somehow trying to figure out a way to tell me that I am going to get hurt.

Rosalie is currently venting about Emmett. Apparently, Triple H and Orangutan Tits are pursuing him mercilessly; either unfazed or blissfully unaware that Emmett is not available. Rose doesn't want to seem like the jealous girlfriend, but if twos company and threes a crowd, then four is a hop, skip and a jump away from an episode of Sister Wives. Emmett has assured her it is no big deal, but when she catches Triple H walking arm and arm with him through the quad, it becomes personal.

"I mean, how would he like it if every time he turned around there was some guy pawing all over me? Looking at me like I am the most interesting person in the world…" She complains combing her long blonde hair Marcia Brady style.

I quirk an eyebrow at Tanya as if to ask if it is okay for me to respond with an, "Um, they do flock to you like that", but Tanya shakes me off, clearly not wanting to encourage the crazy a comment like that can unleash.

Rose continues speaking aloud more to herself than anyone else, "I swear, I should teach him a lesson. I cannot believe he is so oblivious, at first it was a joke but now a bitch is about to get beat up."

"Settle down, Manny Pacquiao!" Tanya soothes as she rubs her shoulders. "That boy would never do anything to jeopardize what you two have."

I nod my head, concurring with Tanya's wise words and somewhat impressed by the fact she knows who Manny Pacquiao is. My nod catches Rosalie's eye, but when she notices I am packing a bag, said eyes widen considerably.

"B, what's with the bag, doll?" She quizzes me, clearly amused by my non-ninja like packing skills, the Cheshire cat smirk growing wider across her face.

I bite my lip to hide my own growing smirk. "Uh, Edward asked me to spend the night with him for his birthday."

The hairbrush hits the floor and faster than a bullet, Rose has my bag in her lap with Tanya inspecting the contents like a TSA officer. I am waiting for one of them to bust out a wand and perform a cavity search to find out what else I have on my person. Rose's eyes bug out when she pulls out the sheer bra and panty set I purchased for the occasion. And Tanya falls out into a full on belly laugh when she brings out her sexy librarian glasses.

"What are you planning on doing, dirty girl?" Tanya asks incredulously, pulling out the bottle of Makers Mark as well.

I slump on the bed and blow out a deep breath I don't realize I am holding and begin fidgeting. Sensing my nervousness, Rose hands me my cold beverage of choice, a Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"I am not going to sleep with him, if that's what you are asking." I reply a little more curtly than I intend to. I drop my eyes to the floor and quietly add, "At least I don't plan to."

The room is quiet as they can tell I want to say something else. I steel myself to look them in the eyes, praying I can stutter through the next sentence.

"I figured, that, maybe, I would try to, um…" I bite my lip, this is just too embarrassing.

"Spit it out, Swan." Rosalie snaps, crossing her arms over her chest trying to intimidate me.

Sighing and rolling my eyes, I finally muster up the courage to bite back, "I am going to give him a lap dance, okay? He asked me to bring my iPod so he could get some of the playlists we've done and as an added bonus, I intend to grind all over his dick – okay, Hale?"

Their eyes are as wide as saucers. Tanya looks amused, while Rosalie looks shocked. I am pretty sure if there was a vial of Holy Water nearby, she would have doused me with it and shouted, "The power of Christ compels you. I cast you out, demon!"

Now that I have successfully shocked them, I continue my packing and add, "He seems to be into the whole naughty librarian thing so I figured why not, right?"

Tanya nods agreeing whole heartedly with this proud expression on her face like Trent from Swingers saying her "baby is all growns up". Being the great friend that she is, she begins giving me some tips that have worked for her in the past. Coming out of her stupor, Rosalie adds some helpful tips as well. Apparently it is important that you don't throw your head around too much like those girls in the videos since you run the risk of head butting your partner. Evidently, Emmett cried like a baby when Rosalie did a version of the bend and snap too close to his nose.

We arrive around 10 pm and the party is in full swing. I must give mad props to Alice for our amazing togas, we look like actual goddesses compared to the other Red Solo Cup carrying commoners. I don't even pretend to want to hang around making small talk upstairs. I say my hellos to Em, Jake and Chocolate Thunder and then promptly run down to Edward's room.

I knock lightly, waiting for him to tell me to come in. He opens the door, dressed in the jeans and grey t-shirt I saw him in this morning. Excitedly, he pulls me into his room and shuts the door behind me. I take off my bag, discarding it on the floor and try to hand him the bottle of Makers Mark.

He winds his fingers in my hair, massaging my neck with his palms, and presses his lips against mine. His kiss is hard and desperate. I find myself backed against the door as our kiss becomes more frantic. I am pleased with myself for not actually throwing the liquor to the ground and wrapping my legs around his waist, though, I won't lie, feeling that massive bulge in his pants hitting against my stomach, I may have audibly heard my panties soak. He breaks the kiss abruptly, leaning his forehead against mine, and runs his hands over my body, settling them at the top of my ass.

"Fuck, you look amazing, Bella!" He compliments as he tries to catch his breath.

"Where's your toga, birthday boy?" I ask teasingly.

I use my free hand to lightly scratch my fingers down his stomach, grabbing a hold of a belt loop on his jeans, mere centimeters from his erection. Lowering his hands further on my ass and gripping lightly, he put his mouth to my ear.

"Now that you're here, I don't intend on leaving this room."

I cluck my tongue and shake my head slightly, "Oh no you don't! You have to make an appearance, this theme is for you. I think Em even bought Ouzo to stay with the whole Greek thing."

Looking down like a petulant little boy being scolded, Edward rolls his eyes and gripes quietly. "If the theme is Ancient Greece, he should serve wine, not Ouzo."

I grab his chin, raising his face to look at me, "How about this?" I speak slowly before placing my lips softly against the side of his mouth. "How about you take off your clothes for me? And then I will wrap a sheet around you. And we'll go upstairs for one hour and drink and dance with our friends." I continue before swiping my tongue against his bottom lip.

Edward's eyes close and a small groan escapes his lips.

"And when that hour is up, you and I will come downstairs, and I will give you your real birthday present." I whisper seductively, as I pull his belt loop and effectively his massive hard on closer to my torso.

He smiles against my lips, "And what present is that, Miss Swan?" He inquires, pressing his erection further into me.

I hum against his lips before running my palm over the head of his cock.

"A certain naughty librarian wants to try her hand at lap dancing and has scheduled a private session for you. Would you be willing to participate?" I breathe out huskily.

He exhales deeply, nodding furiously as his Adams apple bobs nervously up and down. I hear him swallow right before he asks for clarification with a lazy smirk.

"Is this a fully nude private session, Miss Swan?"

"Hmm, I am not sure that she will be getting fully nude this evening, however I think she will play it by ear." I grin continuing my ministrations on his still growing cock. "The good news for you is that this naughty librarian will provide a _very_ hands-on experience. Is that something you may be interested in, _Mr. Cullen_?" I inquire with a quirked brow.

Edward stiffens as I apply a little pressure to the swollen head of his dick with my thumb and trace down the outline before reaching and cupping his sack gently as if to punctuate the point of "hands-on". However, the look on his face makes me question my insistence that we join our friends upstairs. His expression is lustful and hungry. I can only hope that he will wear the same expression when he takes me… eventually… repeatedly.

He doesn't say anything else; he just nods and releases me, stepping backwards to the middle of the room, his expression unchanged. He removes his shoes and socks first and then his shirt. He is stunning. The hard plains of his chest do not disappoint. I can almost imagine how they will look as they stretch and flex while he fucks me.

I am startled out of my Edward induced trance by the sound of his belt buckle, a zipper and pants hitting the ground. He steps out of them and kicks them to the side. The look on his face remains unchanged, as he slowly raises his arms out to the sides standing only in his boxer briefs that cannot contain his prominent member. He wants me to dress him.

I slowly walk around him to get to his bed, running my finger nail lightly down his ribs causing him to shiver. This pleases me, a lot. I grab his sheets and begin draping and securing the toga around his body taking great care to rub his erection every chance I get. I don't know what's coming over me but it takes everything in me not to drop to my knees and shove every inch of him into my mouth greedily like the wanton whore that is clearly unleashed only in Edward Cullen's presence.

Once I am done dressing him, I take his hand in mine and turn around, escorting him up the stairs. Imagine my surprise when he jerks my arm back, pulling my back against his chest roughly. His breathing is harsh. He sounds as if he is trying to rein it in.

"One hour, Miss Swan," he reminds me, "and then you are all _mine_ until morning."

He places a hot kiss against the top of my collarbone and grabs my hand in his once again. I close my eyes, swallowing thickly and nod slowly.

"One hour." I promise as I open the door and lead us up to the party.

Once we clear the stairs, Edward takes the lead. He has my hand in a vice grip and I can't be sure if he is nervous, or if this is another crazy show of possession that I notice he pulls from time to time.

"Ho-ly shit!" Emmett booms. "Ladies and Gentlemen, guess who decided to join the party!"

Edward shrugs and grins sheepishly as Jake hands him a beer. Dear God that boy has the most beautiful smile. Chocolate Thunder and Tanya mosey over, and he and Edward exchange some sort of intricate handshake. Rose then saunters over as well.

"Where's your fan club, Emmy?" She teases with a bit of a bite. Apparently the problem isn't going to go away on its own.

"Relax Rosie, I needed some alone time with my best girl." He reassures her.

He puts his gigantic arms around her waist and slides her up his body only to plant a searing kiss on her lips. Once the kiss is over, I can tell that Rose's defenses come crashing down. She is his and he is hers in every sense of the word. Thank God, if beautiful girls like Rosalie can have an ounce of insecurity, what hope was there for bland girls like me?

Jake pours us a round of shots before his DJ friend Seth makes an announcement over the microphone. The entire room is cheering as we all lift our glasses to toast the birthday boy. I am pretty sure he is embarrassed, but I can't be happier because in his discomfort, he clings to me like a life preserver. He can't hold me any closer if he tried and I am relishing it.

We take several pictures and I secretly hope they will make it to Facebook so I have physical proof that I am at his side, even if it is a fling.

The music kicks on again, and each of the couples become distracted as they begin moving their bodies to the music. Edward takes another shot before he grabs my waist, spinning me and pulling me until his chest is pressed against my body and his hard as a rock penis is against my lower back. He then lifts my arms up and places them around his neck. His fingers trace down the sides of my body until his fingertips firmly settle on the junction between my hips and thighs.

I can feel his eyes looking down on us, watching as we slowly grind until we find a rhythm that satisfies each of us. He begins rubbing his hands up and down my stomach and thighs; every now and again he "accidentally" scrapes my clit with his fingertips.

The first time he does it; I suck in my teeth and mutter a quiet "Fuck". I can feel his lips curl into a smile, clearly pleased with himself. The second time he grazes it; I fist the back of his hair in my hands and grit my teeth together to stop myself from moaning like a whore. He snickers out loud and places his lips near my ear.

"So responsive_, my Bella_." He hums against my ear and continues, "In five minutes, our hour is up. Then I am going to take you downstairs." His breathing becomes heavy as he speaks more slowly this time, purposefully. "And when I get you downstairs, Bella…."

I imagine he is pausing for effect, but I am certain his next words will make me cum on the spot, so I turn in his arms and pull his head down for a searing kiss, all the while shamelessly grinding on his thigh. The kiss is not fit for public viewing but I don't care. It is desperate and angry. Frantic as we manhandle each other. It's all consuming and greedy. I've never felt so wanton and I love it. I feel Edward open his eyes before he breaks the kiss. He gives me a dazzling smile and swipes his thumb across my swollen lips.

"The hour is up, Miss Swan." He taunts before placing his forehead against mine and growling, "And now you're _mine_."

* * *

**A/N… *LayAtHomeMom laughing like Aro in BD2* Even I can't believe how hard I just cockblocked you all... It was necessary to break the chapter here - I swear. Trust me, if I broke it elsewhere - you would've been crazy angry. **

**The next update will be coming to you on Sunday from **_**the happiest place on earth**_**... No silly, not Edward's bedroom - Disney World. Yes dolls, that's right - I will be peddling smut from the Magic Kingdom. I'll even post it from Fantasyland because it is **_**totally**_** appropriate and I am kind of a sick fuck like that...**

**Okay - no more messing around - next chapter consists of 3,530 words of Bella letting out 2 years of sexual frustration - the other 594 words are pure WHAT THE DEUCE!**

**Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, followed and lurked this fic! NOTE: I will try as hard as I can to reply to your reviews - I will be behind due to my lack of a laptop while on holiday. I promise I will respond to each review though (eventually) as they are all so important to me!**


	10. Chapter 10 - Dance for You

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Without further ado, here is Edward's birthday present...  
**

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Chapter 10 – Dance For You

Edward grabs my hand, leading me through the crowd and down the stairs. He opens his door and motions for me to enter first. My entire body is vibrating with nervousness and excitement. I feel his lips on my neck just seconds after I hear the door shut and lock behind me.

He gently brushes my hair away from my shoulder and places three kisses down my shoulder. I feel myself flush as my body instantly reacts to his touch. He runs his hands down my arms as he skims his nose along my neck before placing a soft kiss behind my ear.

"Where do you want me_, Miss Swan_?" He whispers.

A shiver runs through my body and I can feel his excitement growing against my lower back. Trying to maintain my composure, I close my eyes and answer quietly, "I need to prepare, but feel free to sit where ever you're comfortable and if you'd like, you can make the music selection."

He runs his fingers over my upper arms again, lightly grazing the sides of my breasts as he does. I breathe in quickly as I feel his mouth on my earlobe sucking lightly and releasing it with a pop.

"I want you to choose the music, Bella. I can tell you're nervous."

My hands are trembling and I am nervous as fuck. I certainly don't have enough confidence or alcohol in my system to pull this off. My blazing insecurity is about to get the best of me when he takes my hands in his and wraps his arms around me reassuringly.

"You don't have to do this, Bella." He says as he nuzzles my neck. "This is enough for me."

I want this. I want to do this for him and for me. He is like a drug to me and I am chasing his high. I need a fix. I straighten my back and turn to face him, placing my hand over his cheek and rub my thumb over his lip.

Giving him my best haughty smirk, I drop my voice an octave, "Make yourself comfortable, Edward. I'll be out in a minute."

I turn and grab my bag from the floor where I had unceremoniously dropped it upon my arrival. I can feel his eyes on my every move. I smile as I select a song from my iPod and place it in his iHome, all queued up and ready to go.

I make my way to the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. Looking in the mirror, my face is flushed pink. I remove my toga and nude undergarments and inspect myself in the mirror again as I know the next set of lingerie I am planning on wearing leaves little to the imagination.

The bra and panties are black sheer with small corn silk blue embroidery. A bit of a splurge, but the panties make my ass cheeks look pert and smackable. Although my breasts are a small C-cup on a good day, the bra pushes the girls up, making them look like a delectable treat to be feasted on (fingers crossed).

I throw my hair into a messy bun and pile it on top of my head and retouch my make-up, though I really hope it will be smudged by the end of the evening. I slip a navy wrap dress on, careful not to button it on the inside so he can just pull the tie for easy removal. Finally, I slip on a pair of sky high patent heels and pick up my featured reading recommendation being a naughty librarian and all. I take one last glance in the mirror just to make sure I look the part. I place my hand on the door knob and silently tell myself not to be a coward. Taking a deep breath I open the door and shut off the light. Just like last week, he is sitting on the futon, glass of Makers Mark in hand, and a smile that sets my body on fire.

_Showtime, Bella. _"Good evening, Mr. Cullen." I say as I step towards him, looking down at him over my glasses with a seductive smirk glued to my face. "So glad we could arrange this private session. Tell me, have you completed the required reading?"

His eyes roam all over my body as I slowly stalk towards him. He leans forward infinitesimally, licks his lips and shakes his head no.

"Tsk tsk, Mr. Cullen. If you don't do the required reading, how will you ever learn about mutual pleasure?" I ask with an air of annoyance. Pursing my lips to the side of my face as if I am debating something, I continue, "Perhaps the Human Sexuality text book was too broad and overwhelming for you. Maybe we should focus on something more specific. Something that will help you play to your strengths."

I hand him the book and quickly turn around with my hands clasped on my lower back pacing the length of his room, unable to make eye contact while he reads the title. After about 30 seconds, I can't stand it and have to peek at his expression. He is staring at the cover of the book, She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring A Woman. He is smirking, clearly trying to hold back a laugh.

"Is something funny, Mr. Cullen?" I snap, "Because if you don't intend to read the assigned literature, I am sure I won't waste my time again with another private session." I finish crossing my arms under my chest.

His eyes go wide at the tone of my voice and he shakes his head furiously. "I'll do the required reading, Miss Swan." He replies quietly, his expression changing into a naughty crooked smirk, "I'd even be happy to do the practical application as well."

"Hmm," I retort tapping my finger to my lips appearing to be deep in thought, "You don't sound very convincing. I don't think you are taking this very seriously, _Mr. Cullen_. Perhaps you need some additional encouragement, yes? A little positive reinforcement, a little, _push_?"

He begins nodding his head up and down vigorously, squirming in his seat in anticipation.

"Very well, then Mr. Cullen. Please set the book down." I sigh indifferently.

I walk over to the iHome and take a deep breath before hitting the play button. The beginning chords of TLC's Red Light Special begin and I start lightly swaying to the music with my back facing him. At first I feel awkward, sort of like Jamie Lee Curtis in _True Lies_, but then I turn to face him.

His eyes are wide, lips are parted and he is clearly trying to steady his breathing. There's seriously nothing more gorgeous to me at this point then seeing Edward Cullen practically salivating. It is just the confidence boost I need to kick this up a notch.

I continue to sway as I slowly run my hands up over my hips, my stomach and then gently palm my breasts. My swaying becomes more exaggerated, as I run my fingers through my hair, pulling out the messy bun and letting my wild mane fall over my shoulders, all the while, maintaining direct eye contact with him.

I begin to walk towards him slowly, pulling my bottom lip through my teeth to conceal the moan that is threatening to escape. I stop right in front of his feet and dip low, grabbing his hands in mine from his knees as I come back up letting his hands lightly graze my stomach and the tips of my breasts right before I place his hands behind his head.

I give him a coy smile as he tries unsuccessfully to mask his disappointment. _Ah, ah, ah, patience, lover_. I can't help my teasing smirk in response as I lightly slide my fingernails down the front of his chest and place my hands on his knees, spreading them slightly as I maneuver them under his toga. I softly run my hands up his thighs, mere centimeters from where his cock stands erect, desperate for my touch. I slip my hands back down to his knees and close them tightly, pushing myself up.

Standing over him, I look down and slowly remove my glasses and throw them on his bed. Smiling, I reach down the hem of my dress and pull it up as I sashay my hips, giving him a glimpse of my panties for the first time. I then begin to roll my hips as I turn around, looking at him over my shoulder, making sure he is enjoying the view from behind as well. Spreading my legs apart and pulling my dress higher, I sink down and sit on his lap.

His erection is huge and I gasp when I sit on it. He moans deeply, hopefully not in pain. I grind down on it gently and in time with the music while laying my head on his shoulder, making sure he gets a good view.

Taking his hands in mine, I place them firmly on my tits as I continue to gyrate on his lap. I let them linger there momentarily, squeezing his hands and encouraging him to cop a good feel. After a minute, I lower his left hand to the tie of the wrap dress. One tug and the goodies will be exposed. Keeping his hand under mine, I wrap his fingers around the tie and slowly pull his hand while his right hand continues to stimulate my breast. The wrap dress comes apart, exposing my lingerie to him. Taking my hands off of his, I move them to the back of his head to run my fingers through his hair as I continue to rub my crotch all over his dick.

"Touch me, Edward." I whisper as I turn my head slightly.

Wasting no time taking what he wants, he runs his hands over my body. His right hand wanders over to my left breast, as if he knows the greedy whore is seeking his attention. His left hand runs further down my stomach, over my pubic bone, only to cup my now drenched pussy over my panties. I can't even try to be embarrassed about the moans that escape my lips, nor the knee jerk reaction I have to seek friction by moving my hips up and down his body.

I need more, so I grab his hands and return them to the top of his head, and slink off his lap back onto my feet. I turn to look back at him as I remove the dress from my arms and let it drop to the floor. I spin around to face him, licking my lips and running my hands all over my body. I straddle his legs again, this time facing him. I briefly think about scooting my pelvis up so that I can place his dick directly under my center, but I figure I will let him take the lead.

"Show me where you want me, birthday boy." I say as I put my lips to his ear, slipping his earlobe into my mouth.

He releases a shaky breath, grabs my hips and places my entrance right on the head of his cock.

"Ah, FUCK!" I whisper shout, closing my eyes and throwing my head back.

His hands are on my hips, guiding my movements, using me for his pleasure. I can hear his breathing pick up between my moans of pleasure. Unable to help myself, I sneak a peek at Edward. His eyes are focused on where our bodies meet, only separated by three thin layers. He must feel my gaze on him because he suddenly looks up to meet my stare. His eyes are dark and full of lust; his expression is one of pain and pleasure.

"What would please you, Edward?" I breathe out huskily, "Do you want to touch me?"

He nods, licking his lips.

"Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, Bella." He grits out and somehow pulls me down harder on his dick.

His right hand releases the death grip it has on my hip and begins lowering the straps of my bra, all the while placing kisses all over my collarbone and the tops of my breasts.

"Do you want me to take this off, Edward?" I ask seductively as I reach around to unhook the eyes of my bra.

Again he nods, clearly speaking is becoming difficult for him, especially when I unlatch the last hook and slowly pull my arms through the straps, exposing my breasts to him for the first time. His lips part and a deep growl reverberates from his chest. The minute the bra hits the floor, each of his hands are rubbing my tits. Squeezing and kneading them, causing my nipples to become impossibly hard. He sucks one into his mouth clamping down forcefully, and then swipes his tongue over it to ease the sting.

Since he is no longer steadying me on his dick, I have to grab onto the back of the futon and grind myself down onto him. I like this because in this position I can set the pace. For once in my entire sexual life, I feel powerful. It is strange because I am in control, while still being controlled. It is a high that I am sure I will chase for the rest of my life.

I don't notice that the song has ended, but Edward is far from through with me. It is now quiet in the room. All you can hear is our breathing and the frame of the futon squeaking and shaking from the intensity of our dry humping.

Just when I think it can't get much better than grinding on Edward's cock, he ups the ante. I feel his hand slip into my panties, pressing two fingers firmly on my clit. I very nearly jump out of my skin and release this unnatural keening noise. Pleased with his effect on me, he takes it to the limit one more time and starts the dirty talk.

"So fucking good, Bella. You feel so _fucking_ good!" He is harshly breathing against the side of my neck, nipping and licking and biting at it between the errant thoughts that are escaping his lips. "Just wait until I am inside of you. I'm going to make you cum, my Bella. You're gonna cum so hard, and then you'll be mine."

I don't know if it is the possessiveness of his statement, or the fact that he is rubbing my clit so expertly, but I decide to up the dirty talk ante myself. I stop circling over his cock and place his hands back on my waist. For a split second he looks worried, over what I can't imagine. I lean in and swipe the tip of my tongue over his bottom lip before kissing him deeply. The kiss is slow and sloppy. I want to swallow him whole, I can't get enough. I abruptly end the kiss and pull away to look at him as I gather my tits in my hands, squeezing and rubbing my fingertips over them.

"I think about it all the time, Edward. Fantasize about it. About you, taking me, having me," leaning in and pressing my forehead against his for emphasis,  
"…fucking me."

I can feel his entire body react to my last statement, giving me the confidence I need and the new high I crave.

"It always starts the same, I am naked, on my back, legs spread wide. Desperate and _so_ fucking ready for you." His breathing picks up again, so I continue, "You are on your knees, between my legs, looking down at me, slowly stroking your cock, deciding…"

My words are slow, deliberate, oozing with want.

"I am guessing you are deciding how to take me. You know what I mean, don't you?" I tilt my head questioning him mockingly. "Are you going to ease it in gently, Edward? Go slow so you can feel how tight I'll grip you? So I can enjoy every ridge and vein and feel every inch of you? So you can settle in, buried to the hilt?"

He licks his lips, drawing them into a hard line and I can feel his grip getting tighter on my hips. Is it sick that I am slightly turned on by the thought of bruising? That I want any mark of his that I can get? I smile devilishly, relishing the control I have over him. _Alright Swan, take it up a notch._ I lean in and kiss him deeply but abruptly, leaving him panting so I can continue.

"Hmm… Or do you think that you'd prefer to shove it all in with one swift stroke. Fast and hard, Edward. Wouldn't that feel so good, slamming it in there? Asserting your power, your… possession."

I run my tongue over his earlobe and grind down hard on his cock. After a few seconds and a couple of slow circles on his tip, I lean in and pull his bottom lip between my teeth. Releasing it and raising my voice an octave so I can sound relatively innocent as I say my next thought aloud.

"Claim my pussy as your own, Edward? Isn't that what you want?"

The groan he releases is strained, and suddenly he begins bucking his hips, essentially grinding back. The friction is indescribable as my Edward is clearly unleashing the beast on me. I have to keep going because I cannot be contained. All those years of holding back are released. Edward has unlocked that door and I never want to shut it again.

"Are you going to stay on your knees and watch as you fill me, Edward? Hmm? Are you going to watch your cock slam in and out? Slow or fast? Does it turn you on knowing that you are the one in charge? That you're bringing me pleasure? That every time I moan or scream or beg you to "fuck me harder" that it's all you."

He grits his teeth together, bucking his hips impossibly faster and harder. The futon frame slamming into the wall, threatening to collapse due to the intensity he is letting loose on me. I can't get enough, I am so close, and I need to keep him going. I remove one hand from my breast and put it in my mouth, sucking and moaning before trailing it down to the top of my panties. I slide it in and start rubbing my clit, whimpering softly at the contact to my sensitive nub.

I can feel his eyes on me, watching as I touch myself. It thrills me to see the desperation in his expression with the tight set of his jaw and the hungry lick of his lips. This is all the encouragement I need to continue.

"From there, the fantasy can go a million different places. So many different positions, Edward. So many ways to take me. Would you like that Edward? Would it please you to have me riding your cock? Or do you want to take me from behind?"

I can barely get the words out as the grinding and humping becomes frantic. I close my eyes and throw my head back letting the mounting pleasure boil over.

"Fuck, Edward. Ahhh. I'm…" I can't get the words out, the intensity is too much. I intend to tell him I am close, but he interrupts me.

"Look at me, Bella." My eyes open wide, turned on and alarmed by the tone of his voice. His expression is crazed. "I want to watch you cum."

I nod slowly, our eyes are locked. I speed up the movement on my clit, rolling it in time with his thrusts. Every muscle in my body tightens, my ears ring, and I can barely draw a deep breath. My legs shake and my grip on the futon tightens. My eyes remain locked on his, it's like he knows that I have reached the summit that I am there and ready.

"Now I want you to CUM. FOR. ME." He demands, punctuating the end of his statement with rough thrusts.

It is all too much and I come completely undone. A split second and two hard thrusts later, I feel his body stiffen and his cock explodes, coating my panties with wetness, marking me. His mouth is on mine, sucking in my screams, taking them for himself like a trophy. I slump onto his shoulder, sated and exhausted.

He too is trying to catch his breath. I can't be sure how long we stay there, lying completely spent. But I eventually feel his light kisses on my shoulder.

"I'm a mess." He admits, chuckling lightly.

"You are a mess – go clean yourself up, Cullen." I joke as I pull myself up to stand on shaky legs in sky high heels.

He stands up and kisses my temple. "God damn girl, I can't imagine it gets better than that." He admits, smiling.

"Me neither." I reply quietly with a sheepish smile of my own.

He walks into the bathroom, and I hear the shower start up. It takes everything in me not to full on sprint into the bathroom to shower with him. Instead I figure it's probably a good idea to find my bra and put on my pajamas.

As I slip the shirt he let me borrow over my head, his cell phone begins to ring. It is nearly midnight so I start to worry that it may be an emergency since everyone he hangs out with is upstairs. But it isn't someone upstairs; it is a picture of him and Heidi. It must have been Halloween last year. She is rocking a Playboy Bunny get-up, while he looks fetching as Hef in a smoking jacket. I can't help but feel inferior – she is so beautiful and he looks crazy happy. She is holding him so tightly and it looks like his hands are resting on the top of her ass. I stare at the picture until the call goes to voicemail.

A minute later he receives a text. So help me, I don't want to look at the iPhone, but when I see that the text is from Heidi, curiosity gets the better of me.

_Are you ready for your present birthday boy? I can be there in 10. -H _

I feel sick; I am just the opening act. I try to distract myself when another text comes through. Clearly I am a masochist because I can't stop myself from glancing at the perfect pair of naked tits that appears on the screen, followed by Heidi's sext.

_Your favorite girls miss you Eddie. Have you sent bookworm home yet? –H_

My stomach turns. I grab my clothes and coat and get the fuck out of there. On my way up the stairs, I make the decision to sneak out the back door; hopefully none of my friends will be out back so I can make a quick escape. Unfortunately, I see Rosalie propped against the kitchen sink looking murderous. I follow her eyes and spy Triple H and Orangutan Tits dancing with Emmett between them. Royce King is standing closely to her, speaking quietly in her ear. _Ain't this some shit? _I approach quietly.

"You deserve better than that, Rose. You are a fucking goddess compared to those zoo animals. If you were mine Rose, I wouldn't leave your side. I'd be so proud to have you on my arm." He coos in her ear. Reaching up and moving her hair behind her shoulder so he can get his mouth closer to her ear, he seductively adds, "In my bed…"

I want to puke in my mouth. "Rose!" I snap, "Can I talk to you real quick?" I ask pulling her out the back door. I don't miss the sneer that Royce throws my way.

A clear role reversal, Rose seems unsure of what I am going to say. "First of all, are you alright?"

Her lips form a tight line, masking her sadness for anger. "I just don't get it, B. I wouldn't let anyone who made Emmett uncomfortable around me. He doesn't take me seriously. I am literally sick of it¸ it's fucking embarrassing."

"Trust me, I get it, but cozying up to a douche like Royce King – not a good plan." I firmly advise.

She nods. "Where are you off to?" She asks, clearly the Emmett topic not up for discussion any longer.

I hate myself for what I am about to do. "I feel a little sick and Edward is passed out. I have a cab out front so I gotta go." I lie.

Thankfully she is distracted just enough that she doesn't question me, nodding and telling me she will be over tomorrow for coffee. I set off into the night to do the walk of shame.

* * *

**A/N… So... yeah... That just happened... **

**Don't worry dolls, we will get some answers next chapter... Don't set fire to your Team Dryhumpward t-shirts just yet... I hope this chapter was like a Snickers - truly satisfying. I think some of you were getting the shakes from such a lack of citrus. **

**The next chapter will post again from the friendly confines of the Walt Disney World Resort. This time I will post from a clam shell on the Finding Nemo ride - again, _totally_ appropriate.**

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, faved or lurked this fic! You guys are the best!**


	11. Chapter 11 - One and Only

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Ready to find out about Heidi?**

* * *

Chapter 11 – One and Only

I slam the door to my room, allowing myself to act out for the first time. On the one hand I feel dirty and used, how could I be so foolish as to act that slutty in front of a relative stranger? On the other hand, I feel fulfilled and powerful. I got mine, no strings attached. Doesn't that equal a victory?

I grab my robe and shower kit. Stepping into the shower, I let the scalding water cascade over my body. True to his word, he did make me cum so hard that I have to be extra tender to the more sensitive places on my body as I run my loofah over them. As expected, there are small bruises on my hips and thighs, and a few small hickeys on my chest and collarbone. The sick part of me is happy they are there, evidence that it actually happened. That little old bookworm, me – made Edward Cullen lose his shit._ Dear God, Bella. Therapy time, quick._

Emotionally spent, slightly drunk, but wide awake on my Edward induced high – I make my way back to my room. Turning the corner, my breath catches in my throat. There, sitting in front of my door with his knees against his chest is Edward.

He looks up at me and moves to stand. Once he is upright, he glances down at me. His expression is unreadable, though I can't imagine he is pleased. I essentially walked out on him. His eyebrows furrow and his lips are set into a hard line. He roots around in his pocket for a moment and reaches out to hand me something. He places my iPod in my hand, much like he did that first day on the quad. Looking down at my iPod, not wanting to meet his eyes, I quietly mutter a thank you. He seizes my wrist, pulling me to him and tilting my chin up.

"You left." He says emotionlessly, seemingly searching my face for some type of reasoning. I nod, dropping my eyes to his chest.

"Well why?" He asks incredulously, his voice rising slightly.

_Is he fucking kidding me? _Suddenly I am incensed, though I know I have no right to be. I have no claim to him, even though he clearly owns me.

"Because, I didn't want to be there when your next birthday present shows up, you know, your favorite girls. Let's just call a spade a spade Edward, you got the bookworm as an appetizer, you certainly didn't expect me to wait around for the filet minion of tits to show up before I made my hasty exit, did you?" I fume.

His eyes narrow and his jaw clenches, but I am hot so I continue to spew my crazy.

"And, for the record, Edward. Your phone lit up at her call with a picture that screams anything but friends. You have never given me any indication that you weren't honest and up front. But that picture and those texts spoke volumes about your status with her. And, for future reference, friends don't typically text a picture of their tits to friends." I bite sharply.

This fucker has the sheer balls to look hurt. I am overwhelmed with the desire to kick him in the junk repeatedly. I am done being humiliated for the evening. Feeling completely defeated, I sigh.

"Thank you for bringing back my iPod. Good night, Edward."

I turn and grab the keys from my robe pocket and curse my lack of coordination as I fumble to find the right key only to drop it. I am about 30 seconds from bawling my face off, and I'll be damned if I give the birthday boy the satisfaction of seeing me cry. He picks up my keys, clutching them tightly. I can't look at him as the tears are beginning to spill. I push my palms into my eyes –feigning tiredness, but really trying to wipe the tears away.

Edward clears his throat. "You shouldn't have left. I would have explained. I don't… I don't understand why you won't believe me about her." He says looking down while thumbing through my keys. "I thought I made myself…" He pauses, as his face strains slightly, "I thought I made my intentions clear to you."

I roll my eyes in annoyance. "You've been attentive, Edward, I'll give you that much. But no, I have no idea where I stand with you other than as a friend with benefits. And as much as I enjoy being with you, I am not interested in vying for your affections or sharing them with your supermodel ex-girlfriend, fuck buddy or family friend – whatever she is to you this week." I huff as I cross my arms, suddenly finding the emergency evacuation posting near my door fascinating.

I can feel his eyes on me and I don't want to meet his gaze. We stand in silence for quite a while, but the weight of his stare proves too much for me to resist. When I finally muster the nerve to look up at him I can see that he appears frustrated, his expression hard. He blows out a deep breath.

"I guess I wasn't clear. Let me clarify then. There is nothing more between her and me other than friendship and there never will be again for me." He starts to explain.

"Hi liar!" I retort in a Nelson from the Simpson's voice as I roll my eyes again. "That's –"

He grabs my chin lightly and pulls it up so I will look him in the eyes.

"Do _not_ interrupt me again. I am giving you the explanation you want and deserve, despite how upsetting it is for me to talk about. I've put up with your disappearing act and assumptions, at least have the decency to let me defend myself." He replies firmly.

My eyes widen. His expression and the tone of his voice are scary and authoritative, the same way he spoke to Lauren in the library. I'm pretty sure I am slightly terrified and more than turned on. Unable to speak, I nod, hopefully looking properly abash.

"Like I was saying, for me, Heidi will never be more than a friend. Not since I found her on her hands and knees taking Royce King's dick up her ass for a bump of coke." He pauses for a while, I'm not sure if it is for effect so it will sink in or because this really is difficult for him to talk about.

"As a matter of fact, it was Halloween evening that I got that nice little visual. But you are right, she is beautiful, so I let it slide, overlooking the alcohol and drug induced indiscretion and her addiction. Then she overdosed at my parent's house Thanksgiving weekend and went to rehab for a month." He continues, growing angrier by the second.

"She sent me a letter from rehab itemizing every indiscretion, every dick she sucked, every lie she told – _that she could remember_. And you know what, I still let it slide because what kind of person would I be turning my back on her? Hmm, Bella? That would make me a dick, right?" He asks angrily and hopefully rhetorically since I am too stunned to speak.

"So I went to pick her up from rehab so she wouldn't have to face her family right away, but by the time I got there, she was gone. Royce signed her out." He admits quietly. "A couple of days later, I saw her. Her eyes were blood-shot and she looked all strung out. I told her I was done. I told her I would always be her friend, even still hang out with her from time to time so we don't make it awkward for our parents who are close friends, but as far as she and I were concerned – we were through."

He runs a frustrated hand through his hair and pulls at the roots. "She seemed to agree that friendship was the best path for us, she seemed relieved even. But last weekend, when she heard about you, when she found out my intentions with you, she lost her shit. I suspect that's why she posted the pictures on Facebook. She knew you'd be at my birthday party, I am sure that is why she sent those texts. She must be coked up, out of her mind right now." He muses.

We stand in silence for a few minutes letting the weight of his confession sink in.

"I'll be civil, and I'll be nice to her, Bella. But I will never be more than a friend to her." He promises as he walks towards me, reaching down to cup my cheek.

"If I wasn't clear before, I want to be clear with you now. I want to be with you. I want to only be with you." His eyes bore into mine as he admits his intentions.

I am clearly stunned into silence. Edward has completely put himself out there and the choice is mine to make. _As if there is a choice_. Rubbing his thumb across my lip, he lowers his head so we are eye to eye.

"What are you thinking, Bella?" He asks, furrowing his brow.

I clear my throat and close my eyes, wrapping my arms around his waist and burrowing my head into his chest.

"I want to be with you too." I whisper.

I can feel his smile against the top of my head, before he whispers reverently, "My Bella".

This feeling is indescribable, an all new high. I look up at him smiling with unshed tears pooling in my eyes. "_Your,_ Bella."

He lowers his mouth onto mine. The kiss would be painful if I wasn't so completely taken by the moment. It is loud and brash, cementing how crazy we are about each other. I finally break away from him and fish my keys out of his hand so we can continue our make-out session in the privacy of my room.

His hands find their way back down to my waist and he kisses up and down my neck as I unlock the door, roughly pushing it open and turning to grab his shirt, ushering him inside. Just like before, I find myself pushed up against the door. The front of my robe slips open slightly as Edward runs his hands down the front of my body. He tugs the belt and I am completely exposed to him.

His eyes roam up and down my body as Mike's words run through my head_. He looks at you like you are something to eat_. My new high spurs my confidence, and I slip the robe off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor along with my keys. I stand before Edward Cullen, completely naked with a coy smile on my face. I reach out to pull his jacket off, but before I know it, he seizes my wrists and pins them over my head against the door. He runs his tongue over my collarbone and up my neck, before taking my earlobe in his mouth, pulling it slightly with his teeth. I feel a shiver go through my entire body.

"I never got a chance to thank you for your birthday present. By far, the best present I've ever received and the hottest thing I've ever seen." He says while still nipping and sucking my neck and ear. "It took everything in me not to cum on the spot when you told me you fantasize about our first time together. It was the sexiest thing I've ever heard."

I swallow as the intensity of his words and the raw sexuality of the situation becomes overwhelming. Clearly excited by the effect he has on me he continues.

"I think about it all the time too, Bella. I think about all of the things I want with you, to do to you." His breathing becomes harsh and uneven, his manhood gets even harder against my stomach as he grips my wrists a little more firmly.

My inner whore decides to come out to play. "Hmm… What do you want to do to me, Edward?" I ask innocently. "Tell me." I beg grinding my crotch against his thighs, silently cursing our height difference.

He smiles his crooked smile and once again leans in to whisper seductively in my ear. "I think a better question is what _don't_ I want to do to you, Isabella. But since you were so forthcoming with some of your scenarios, allow me to return the favor."

"At some point, I plan on kissing or having my mouth on every inch of your body, _in_ every part of your body. I'll bet every inch of you tastes so good." He accentuates his point by running his tongue over my shoulder and down my chest.

"I'm going to learn everything that pleases you, Bella. How you like to be touched," He says slowly as he releases one wrist and runs his long fingers down my arm before taking my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and rolling it gently. I can't stop the breathless moan that escapes my lips.

"I'm going to learn what turns you on." He teases as he takes my other nipple into his mouth, sucking it deeply, releasing it with a pop before swiping the tip with his tongue and blowing gently.

"Fuck! Yes!" I whimper.

I reach down, grabbing the back of his head and pressing his mouth against my tit again. He indulges me for a few moments, sucking and swirling his tongue quickly before he grabs my arm and places it back above my head, securing both my wrists in his one hand. I may have actually pouted.

"Now, as for what you were saying earlier this evening. When I do take you, Bella - and I will take you. I will do it every way you described. I will ease it in, so _I _can feel every fucking inch of _you_ – _taking every fucking inch of me." _He grits out against my stomach.

"And I will shove it in hard, because I will be claiming you in every way imaginable" He promises as he lowers his head and begins nipping and kissing my hip bone while parting my knees and legs wider. "You're going to crave my cock, Bella."

_I already do._

"The same way that I already crave your pussy." And with that, Edward buries his face into my most sensitive place, spreading my lips so his wide tongue can work it over with wild abandon.

I scream in pleasure as he runs his tongue up and down, before sucking my clit between his teeth. I can barely catch my breath. He goes at it like a starving man. I always thought oral would make me self-conscious or that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because I would be worried that my partner would be grossed out. But the way he nips and sucks and licks me, it makes me feel powerful and desired. He is worshipping me; surely this is the pinnacle of ecstasy. And I believe it is, until I feel his long finger entering and curling inside of me and his teeth scrapping the hood of my clit.

I grab my hair in frustration, moaning and whisper-shouting obscenities. I start grinding my pussy into his face. I can hear the sounds of his tongue against me as it laps and licks and spreads my wetness throughout. I squirm and writhe at the feel of the contrast between his slippery tongue, his soft lips and the rough stubble covering his chin. All the tell-tale signs are there. My legs are trembling and I feel like I am going to collapse from the pleasure. He must feel it too. I am finally brave enough to look down at him just as he decides to add another finger inside of me, ramming, curling and circling.

He must feel the weight of my stare because he looks up, his eyes boring into mine just has he finds my illusive G-spot, pressing his two fingers against it firmly. He licks my clit again roughly before mouthing the word, _COME_.

After a few seconds, I'm pretty sure my eyes roll to the back of my head as I scream and pant. My orgasm approaches and completely overpowers me. Suddenly my legs won't hold my weight any longer and I find myself slipping down my door. He stands up and lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me over to the bed and gently lays me down.

As I try to catch my breath, he begins undressing, right down to his boxers before he climbs under the covers next to me. My entire body is still shivering and I am still trying to steady my breathing. He wraps his arms around my waist, kissing me hard before he buries his face into my hair. I can taste myself on him, normally I think I would want to puke in my mouth, but for some reason, I love it.

Breathing deeply, he kisses my forehead. "Thank you, my Bella. This was the best birthday ever." He says sincerely.

I snicker. "I think I should be thanking you. That was… unreal. Amazing."

I burrow back into his chest, smiling widely, enjoying his warmth and loving the fact that I am officially his Bella. Sleep seems to find both of us quickly.

* * *

**A/N… See dolls, he's not a player or a douche... Are we all a little relieved? **

**Thank you to everyone who voted for _In Your Room _on the TLS Fic of the Week poll. It feels fan-flipping-tastic to be in the Fab 5! Big love to The Lemonade Stand for working so hard to find and rec quality fics for the fandom's reading pleasure. I'd also like to thank A Jasper For Me for rec'ing my fic for Mount Me Monday on the Dreamin-of-JBone blog. Please make a point to go check out this ****blog - it has some fabulous fic recs!**

**The new TLS poll for Fic of the Week is up. This week it includes one of my fave fics by one of my favorite authors - _By Your Leave_ by Jonesn353402. As an honorary card carrying member of The Moms for Edward's Sweet Ass Club, I highly recommend this fic as it is absolutely wonderful. If you haven't read it yet, you need to get on that pronto and make sure to vote. There are some amazing fics on the poll this week!**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, faved, followed and lurked this fic! **


	12. Chapter 12 - Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**This chapter will separate the h00rs from the hussies. Hope you are still with me after this one - gross out warning...**

* * *

Chapter 12 – Hit Me With Your Best Shot

I wake up relatively early the next morning to an empty bed. Still somewhat groggy from my deep sleep, I'm not sure how to feel about Edward leaving without saying good-bye. Then I remember I went to sleep with wet hair. Between the Medusa coif and my morning breath, I guess I should be thankful that I don't have to face his awkward goodbye.

I lay there for a few minutes with the cheekiest smile on my face. I am Edward's girl – officially. Well, not Facebook official yet, but I am sure we'll get there. A text comes through on my iPhone and I eagerly whip the covers off my naked body to roll over and grab it from the desk. On all fours, stretching to reach it, I hear the door open behind me.

"That's an interesting sleep position, Swan." Teases a very sexy, husky, masculine voice that I am praying somehow belongs to Tanya after a night of drinking.

I look behind me to confirm that it is indeed Edward who has walked in on the 2 Live Crew "Face Down, Ass Up" video shoot and with two steaming coffee cups, no less. _Could he be more perfec_t? I grab my phone and then scurry under the covers to conceal my embarrassment.

"I thought you left." I admit from beneath the sheets.

"Fat chance, Swan. That was one of the best night sleep I've had in ages." He replies, locking the door behind him, before putting the coffee down on the nightstand next to me. "I thought you'd like some hot chocolate."

I peek out from under the covers, watching him remove his jacket and shoes. He smiles widely when he realizes I am peeking at him. He proceeds to take off his shirt and starts removing his jeans like he did before we got into bed last night.

My iPhone text reminder sounds again as he hands me my drink, slipping under the sheets with me. Looking down at my phone, I notice the text is from Mike.

_B- Dad got the results back – prostate cancer – stage 3. Going home for the weekend – didn't know if you planned to see the Chief – could give you a ride. – M_

I sit up in bed and audibly whimper. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I reread the text over and over again, as tears begin to well in my eyes.

"Bella. You okay? What happened? What's wrong?" Edward asks soothingly, rubbing small circles on my lower back.

I hand him my phone to read for himself, putting it into words makes it real and I'm not ready for that. I hear Edward blow out a breath behind me. Waiting for him to reassure me that Mike Sr. will be okay, his silence is deafening.

"What does that mean for him? Uh, stage 3?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Edward clears his throat. "I think it means that the cancer may have spread to lymph nodes, possibly bones or organs."

I nod and swallow thickly. "Do you think…? Is this a death sentence?" I whisper, glancing at him over my shoulder causing a tear to fall down my arm.

He seems at a loss for words, I can tell he is looking for a bright side, without giving me false hope.

"There are a lot of factors that can contribute to the patient's survival. They need to get him to a good, aggressive oncologist." He answers detachedly, something I am sure will come in handy throughout his eventual residency and career.

I nod slowly and take a sip of my hot chocolate.

"You know, I could get him a referral from my dad. He is friends with a couple of the best oncologists in Washington. I could have him pull some strings, or something." He offers.

I can't conceal my smile as I straddle his lap. "You'd do that?" I ask excitedly.

He smiles back, "Absolutely."

I give him a big wet kiss on his forehead before hopping off his lap. "I am going to call Mike's mom real quick. I am sure she will appreciate your offer." I explain as I dial her number.

It rings twice before she answers, for the first time ever I can't hear the smile that is usually present in her voice.

"Karen, its Bella."

"Bella, how are you, sweet girl?" She asks kindly.

"I'm doing well. Mike sent me a text about Mike Sr. I'm so worried; I wanted to give you guys a call."

"We are doing as well as can be expected, you know. We are just going to do what the doctor says and pray for the best." She replies, her voice trembling slightly.

My heart is breaking for her. "Well, my…" I pause, not wanting to flaunt my new relationship in her and her families face, "Edward, his dad is the Chief of Staff at Seattle Children's Hospital. If you'd like, he said that he can pull some strings to get Senior in to see one of the top oncologists in Washington. Not that you wouldn't receive excellent care in Forks, I just thought, well I thought you would want to know that you have options, you know?"

Karen blows out a deep breath, "Bella that would be wonderful! Would he be willing to do that? I mean, Dr. Gerandy is a good doctor, but I would certainly like to meet with these doctors if it would give us more of a fighting chance."

"Absolutely, he will call his dad and I will get the information to you once we hear back." I reply smiling at Edward.

"Bella, thank you so much!" relief floods her voice, "And please, make sure to thank your… Edward, for us as well."

"I will, Karen. You tell Senior to take care of himself. I miss you guys so much!" I say sincerely because they are like a second mom and dad to me.

"We miss you, too sweet girl! Now don't be a stranger! Next time you are in Forks, you come see us!" She demands kindly in her mothering tone.

"I will. Take care, Karen." I sigh, ending the call while shamelessly eye-fucking my sexy, shirtless boyfriend.

I am just about to pounce on him when my bladder reminds me that nature is calling and more than likely, so is my toothbrush. I excuse myself to the restroom, but not without receiving a nice, loud smack on the ass.

I consider throwing on a shirt, but a lazy, naked morning somehow appeals to me. Especially when cuddling next to a practically naked Edward. Climbing back into the bed and sitting against the headboard, I lean my head against his shoulder as he speaks to his dad.

"Hey Dad, I need a favor. I need you to pull some strings and work your magic." He says smiling, peeking under the sheets at my naked body.

"Someone important to Bella has just been diagnosed with stage 3 prostate cancer. I wanted to see if you could get him in with Eleazar or Aro for consult and treatment."

"His name is Michael Newton. He is from Forks, but his wife is willing to travel."

"Hold on, let me check." Covering the phone mouthpiece, he asks me, "Do you know how old he is, Bella?"

"I believe he will be 52 in June. June 2nd." I reply, remembering the annual family camping trip we took the first week in June to celebrate his birthday.

Nodding, he continues his conversation with his father. "Yeah, he's 51."

"We really appreciate it Dad, just shoot me a text to let me know."

He snickers and runs his finger down my face. "Yes. We are a, _we,_ now."

I desperately wish I could hear what his dad is saying to him. I am sure the smile on my face is blinding now that I know he told his dad about me already.

"I'll bring her to meet you guys soon enough if Mom doesn't track her down first." He smiles as his finger traces down my neck to my collarbone.

"Thanks for your help, Dad!"

"Yep, love you too. Goodbye."

Hitting the end button and throwing his phone onto his jacket on my floor, he pulls my face towards his for a slow, languid kiss. He pulls away to take a breath and sets our drinks on my nightstand. I continue kissing down his neck, running my fingers over his chest and down his torso. My eyes never leaving his as I lightly run my fingernails down over his ribs.

"I'm feeling quite grateful to you Edward." I whisper seductively. "Perhaps I could find a way to show my appreciation."

The wanton whore in me is taking over yet again. I smile as I feel his arousal grow near the valley between my tits. Reveling in my new-found power and his reactions to my touch I run my tongue around his navel, lightly slipping my fingernails under his boxer briefs.

"Do you have any suggestions, Edward? Is there any special way I can show you how much I appreciate your kindness?"

His breathing hitches and his eyes grow dark. I push my tits together a little more, adding to the pressure around his dick. He licks his lips and his hands come down to weave through my hair.

"Not so fast, Cullen!" I chastise, grabbing his wrists and placing them behind his head like he did to me the night before. "You keep those hands up there and let me handle the rest."

I begin slipping his boxer briefs down his hips, getting an up close and personal view of his delicious V. Getting onto my knees, I pull the underwear off his legs and throw them on the ground near his clothes. He lays there before me, gloriously naked and perfect. I reach down, gripping the base of his cock lightly. Suddenly, I realize that I have no idea what I am doing, my confidence waning.

"I, uh. I've never done this before." I admit as I worry my lip between my teeth feeling the need to confess my inexperience. "You have to let me know if I do something wrong, okay?"

Edward just nods, closing his eyes, seeming to enjoy the feeling of my hand gripping him. I lower my upper body towards his erection, studying every nuance. He is long and thick. His shaft is a beautiful shade of flesh and pink, while his head is growing more purple by the minute. A small drop of pre-cum forms at his slit and I involuntarily lick my lips.

I have a firm grip on the base of his cock, while my other hand runs up and down his length with only feather-light touches from my fingertips. I think back to the in-depth fellatio tutorial that Rose and Tanya gave me a few months ago when I was actively training to seduce my longtime boyfriend. I have to stifle a laugh thinking about the act of licking, sucking and humming around a Cheddarwurst. It seemed like great practical application at the time. I will say though that the girls are excellent teachers, providing both the fellatio fundamentals and some advanced practice techniques.

_It's now or never, Swan. _Closing my eyes, I flatten my tongue against his shaft above my hand at the base of his cock and slowly run it up to his head. His penis twitches slightly and I can hear his breathing deepen. My confidence growing by the minute, I place my mouth around his head, sucking fiercely before swiping the tip of my tongue across his slit, tasting him for the first time.

His legs stiffen and I can hear that his breathing hitches slightly. Not being able to help myself, I open my eyes. His eyes are closed tightly, lips are parted and his long fingers are tightly gripping his hair. The sight before me causes me to moan like a whore, as I relax my throat and attempt to take him deeper, up and down, up and down, swirling and licking all around his head each time I reach the tip. I can't take my eyes off him. Now I know what Rose and Tanya are talking about, the power I feel, even though I am on my knees, it is intoxicating. Growing more brazen by the minute, I tease him by running my fingertips lightly over his hips and thighs, causing his legs to quiver. Relishing his reaction, I use his line from the night before.

"Mmm, so responsive." I moan, smiling against his shaft before I take him deeply down my throat, humming and running the tip of my tongue back and forth over his head.

His eyes fly open. They are dark and hungry and slightly crazed as they meet mine. His jaw tightens, as does every muscle in his body. He slams his head back on the pillow and grabs his hair even harder. A groan escapes his lips, followed by my favorite explicative to ever roll off his tongue, a loud and long _Fuck_.

Feeling bold, I suck his tip even harder, releasing it with a pop. I run my hands slowly up his chest and grab his wrists, encouraging him to release the tight grip he has on his hair. Pulling his hands down slowly, I place them on the back of my head, my eyes never leaving his.

"Show me what you like, Edward." I whisper as I lower my mouth back onto his dick and raise my ass further in the air.

Tanya and Rose refer to this as the finishing move, allowing them control. Apparently there are a couple schools of thought on this one though. Tanya prefers to relinquish total control by placing her hands on or under their ass to encourage thrusting or as she put it, "a thorough face-fucking". Now Rose, on the other hand, she wants to maintain some jurisdiction depending on the size of her partner. If he is large, she prefers to have her hands on his thighs, so she can push back if necessary. And if he is Emmett size, she opts to place at least one hand at the base to prevent her from gagging.

Clearly I am not as confident in my gag reflex as Tanya, so I opt to place my hands on his thighs just in case. Edward runs his long fingers though my hair as I continue to languidly suck up and down his shaft, humming occasionally. Growing impatient, I try another Tanya trick and lightly run my teeth along his length. Just then, I feel his grip tighten in my hair. _Bingo._

He growls slightly through clenched teeth and begins gently pushing my head down his cock. Relaxing my throat, I prepare to take him as far as I can go. Still showing restraint, he only takes me about half way down before pulling me up a few times. Apparently, he needs more encouragement, so I reach down and tug lightly on his balls, all the while keeping my eyes focused on his.

"Ahh. God damn, Bella!" He yells as he pushes my mouth further down his shaft over and over again until I can feel him near the back of my throat.

Now granted, I'm not going to lie - I find it impressive that I am able to take him so far. But I think I get a little too Kid Rock cocky when I decide that I can pull a Tanya and scoot my hands under his ass allowing him full range of motion and all access to hump my face to his heart's content.

His eyes darken and his entire body tenses, including his grasp on my hair. He groans loudly as he begins thrusting and pulling my mouth down around his cock harder. His breathing quickens. He is getting so worked up. I keep my eyes wide and innocent as I hum around his sensitive head and scrape my teeth along the base of his cock as he pulls my head up. He is grunting and muttering curses under his breath – he is so close. I close my eyes briefly to concentrate on my breathing and increase my suction. He releases my hair on one side and places his hand on my jaw.

"Un uh, Bella. Keep those eyes open." He grits out as he fists the base of his cock and begins jacking it slowly. "Keep your eyes and that mouth open".

Lifting my head slightly, he has my mouth hovering over his cock. I am panting and straining to get my mouth back around him. I desperately want him to finish in my mouth. I try to swipe his tip with my tongue but to no avail, he pulls my head up each time I get close.

"You want this, Bella?" He asks as the sound of him working over his cock becomes louder and faster. His expression is pained and needy.

"Please, Edward" I moan out keeping my eyes wide, looking deeply into his. "Let me show you how grateful I am."

I barely get the words out before he roughly thrusts his hips up and pushes the back of my head down.

"Good girl, Bella. That's my good girl. Suck it! Fucking show me." He begins to mutter and moan as he impales my face with his cock.

His hips continue to piston while I moan all around him. I hear his breathing become choppy and each thrust is punctuated with a grunt or a curse. His skin is slapping against mine and then I feel his body tense – Edward is spiraling out of control. He shuts his eyes tightly and releases a throaty moan before yelling my name followed by a long series of incoherent muttering.

I feel the first spurt hit the back of my throat and I swallow it down greedily. I don't want that shit to linger in my mouth. While Edward's jizz may be considered a delicacy – let's not put a bow on a pig – it's still jizz.

Just as I am preparing myself to handle the next spurt of his baby batter, the door flies open. An oblivious Tanya walks into the room while pulling her keys out of the lock followed by a bored looking Rose who as usual is examining her nail beds. What follows seems to happen in slow motion like we are in _The Matrix_. I push up off his dick, but with his hand still firmly placed on the back of my head, I'm not able to get my face more than an inch or two above his exploding tip.

Tanya steps forward, finally looking up. I can only imagine what we must look like, both completely naked and in the throes of passion. My ass in the air, back arched, with my hands under my naked boyfriends ass and a huge dick in my face. Her eyes widened as she takes in the scene, frozen in place just like I was the week before. Edward must be oblivious because he does not release his kung fu grip from my head.

"What. The. Fuck?" Tanya shrieks just as Edward shoots another stream of semen – right into my eye.

"MOTHER FUCK!" I scream, as his jizz coats my eye socket. It burns like hell. Thankfully, Edward who up until that point has been blissfully unaware of his surroundings, releases his vice-like grip on my hair and scrambles to cover us.

I can hear Rosalie cackling hysterically, while Tanya is apparently rummaging around in our mini-fridge for a bottled-water and barking out instructions like a war-time medic. I also hear Edward zipping up his pants. At least he still has his modesty. I'm pretty sure I want the earth to swallow me whole, as I am flailing around stark naked, holding my eye.

An hour later, I find myself sitting in my lab. Fully clothed, however, my ego is wounded and my eye is red and stings like hell. My phone is vibrating like crazy in my bag. I cringe at the thought that it is probably Edward giving me the big boot for my mediocre blow job skills and the ensuing disaster.

Exiting the lab, I pull out my phone. The first text is from Edward asking me to coffee at 11:30 just like we did the week before. I accept on the condition that I may wear my sunglasses and verifying that he is alright with having coffee with Stevie Wonder.

The next text is from Rose. She texts me the lyrics to a song we used to sing to my neighbors one-eyed dog when we were in 5th grade. It read: _You're the one-eye, one-eye, one eye. You're the one-eye, one-eye love. _

After that little text gem, I decide to forgo reading the rest of their texts, because clearly I am never going to hear the end of this.

I meet Edward outside of the union as planned. He has our drinks in hand and nods to a nearby bench. I tense up with an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. When he realizes I am not following him he pauses and gives me a reassuring smile as he walks back to me.

"I just figured you would be more comfortable wearing your glasses outside, Stevie."

Relieved that I'm not going to be dumped after our 14 hour relationship status, I merrily join him on the bench. I hear his iPhone text alert go off. He rolls his eyes before pulling it out to take a look. Shaking his head, he pushes the phone towards me.

"Our friends are fucking hysterical."

It is a text from Emmett with a picture of Shooter McGavin from _Happy Gilmore_. I laugh out loud. Quite creative for the man-child.

My phone sounds next with a text from Tanya. It is a picture of Ralphie from _A Christmas Story_ and a message simply saying "_You'll shoot your eye out, kid_." I laugh hysterically as I show Edward.

"We're never going to live this down, are we?" I ask, putting my iPhone back in my backpack.

Edward snorts and wraps his arm around me, "Probably not, Swan. Probably not."

* * *

**A/N… Raise your hand if it has happened to you... Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Uh, yeah, me neither... **

**Talk about a memorable first, huh?**

**I'll see you all on Thursday for a chat with the gals and a little study session...**

**Thanks so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, faved and lurked this questionable story of mine... **


	13. Chapter 13 - Insatiable

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Poor Bella... Terrible luck... How about a girls night and a booty call?**

* * *

Chapter 13 – Insatiable

I have been teasing Edward mercilessly about having a study session on a Friday night but I bid him farewell after our coffee date, advising him to have a good time with his fellow nerds as they prepare for Mathlete domination.

Tanya, Rose, Alice and I decide to have a study session of our own as we discuss our partner's dicks at length. As always, Tanya leads the way down the rabbit hole of depravity talking about Tyler's cock like it is something you would order out of the J. Peterman Catalogue off of Seinfeld.

With a faraway expression and an unconscious inappropriate stroking of her Moscato wine bottle, Tanya muses, "It's like a super-sized chocolate dipped long john. A rock solid, vein covered, long john. Topped with a big fat mushroom head and two giant chocolate cake batter truffles below – it's a thing of beauty."

Swallowing down a gulp of her Malibu and Diet Coke, Rose inclines her head towards me with a raised brow and a devilish smirk, "Do you concur with Tanya's assessment of Ty's dong, Bella?"

Just as I am about to concur with it being super-size Alice, Sweet Alice, jumps in with her review of Jasper's penis.

"Jazzy's got a fat dick. Girth like a chili can and slightly crooked." Alice proudly reports using her teeny-tiny little hands to illustrate his measurements.

As she continues, I tune out trying my hardest to imagine what that dick would look like on Jasper. Jasper is about 6'3" and lanky as a fence post. He has big blue eyes and honey-blonde hair with a slight southern drawl. I imagine him with more of a cattle prod prick, I guess, you know, long, pointy and shocking.

Alice on the other hand is just two or three inches shy of a spot on Little People, Big World. She is a teeny-tiny little sprite, like a brunette Tinkerbelle. Needless to say, the mere logistics of them simply copulating is mind boggling to me, let alone taking anything inside of her with the girth of a chili can. _Color me impressed._

Rose pipes in next, "Emmett is like a big, fat battering ram. You just have to wrap yourself around him and hold on tight."

Now this one, I believe. I heard Rose and Emmett boning one time when we went camping and they sounded like two bears going at it, you couldn't tell who was in charge, like they were battling for dominance. Unfortunately, it was the first and last time I got Mike to come out with Rose, Tanya and their significant others. Hearing my best friends getting banged in the tents next to us only seemed to strengthen Mike's resolve to continue his unspoken missionary only decree.

After a beat of silence, I look up to see three sets of eyes staring at me intently. "So, Bella – care to share with the class?" Tanya purrs, wagging her eyebrows.

"Are you serious?" I ask incredulously, "You had just as good a view as I did, T!"

Shaking her head, she explains, "No, no, no, Bells. By the time I saw it, it was already at half-mast. The load had been blown, so to speak."

Rose chimes in next. "I saw it in all its glory. And I saw the shot. It was like the Kennedy assassination, dolls. Bella was hit and then her head went back and to the left."

Peals of hysterical laughter follow Rose's commentary. Then Tanya and Rose decide to reenact the whole incident for Alice, including my stark naked eye holding writhing. It is absolutely mortifying. Luckily for me, my phone begins ringing. I can't help the smile that spreads on my face as his name flashes across my screen.

"Good evening, Edward!" I greet seductively.

"Well hello there!" He replies.

"All finished with your study session? Or are you guys getting your Dungeon and Dragons tournament underway now that the library is closed?" I joke.

He laughs. "Nope, we have to get ready for our LARP tournament tomorrow morning so we called it a night."

"Hmm… You know, Edward. It's almost midnight. This isn't a booty call is it?" I question as my inner whore is on her knees with her rosary beads praying that this is in fact a booty call.

"Nope, I know how you feel about your b-hymen. Definitely not a _booty_ call." He teases.

_Boo, hiss… My inner whore and I may or may not have simultaneously stomped our feet and pouted._

"However," His voice lowers, velvety and panty ruining, "I was hoping you would want to come over tonight. Emmett is going to pick up Rosalie in a little bit, he could give you a ride."

I close my eyes and hold back a moan. "I'll be right over."

I throw together a bag quickly, not wanting to get too carried away. Instead of sexy lingerie, I go with a spaghetti strap tank-top and boy shorts. That's appropriate sleeping attire, right? Let's not pretend that my clothes won't be on the floor within fifteen minutes of entering the premises.

I slip into the bathroom to give myself the proverbial whore's bath since I am fairly certain this isn't just a social call. I brush my teeth meticulously and lather myself with lotion. I then give myself a once over in the mirror, making sure that my appearance is shack-worthy.

I hop into the back of Emmett's car, but not before Em greets me with a, "What up, One Eye Willy?"

Unfortunately for me it is entirely too cold to walk to Edwards – oh, who am I kidding, I am entirely too horny to walk to Edwards place. I sit there and take Emmett and Rose's barbs like I took the jizz to the eye – simply powerless to stop it. After what I imagine is the longest 4 minute car ride of my life, I practically sprint down the stairs to Edward's room. I'm not sure if I should knock or just walk in and start stripping, but I opt on the side of decency and knock lightly.

"Come in." He calls as I slowly begin opening the door.

And there he is, reading on his bed, shirtless, in black cotton lounge pants and glasses. My inner whore straps on her riding helmet and takes out her crop in preparation to ride him like Secretariat.

The light from the desk illuminates the room and it is like seeing it for the first time. Meticulously neat, he has floor to ceiling shelves lined with CDs, DVDs and tons of books, including a healthy supply of medical texts. _Hmm, paging Dr. Cullen…_

Setting down my bag on the futon, I begin stripping off my heavy clothing giving him a naughty smile as I notice that he is reading the book I gave him the evening of his birthday party, _She Comes First: The Thinking Mans Guide to Pleasuring a Woman_.

"Interesting reading?"

Sitting up in his bed, he gives me a devilish grin of his own. "I'm just catching up on the reading assignment you gave me."

I nod my head, standing before him, clad only in my white tank and boy shorts. "Hmm, I see. So is this a sleepover or a study session?"

"Can't it be both?" He asks, eyeing me up and down. Patting the bed he gives me his signature crooked smile, "Do you want me to show you what I've learned?"

_Yes, please_. I climb into bed, giving him a small, chaste kiss before lying down next to him, with my back against his chest. "Alright, Cullen. Dazzle me."

I can feel him smile against my shoulder as he runs his nose back and forth over my collarbone, stopping every once in a while to inhale my hair. After several passes, he begins running his fingertips up and down the length of my torso, arms and shoulders.

"Dazzle you, hmm?" He asks, sucking my earlobe into his mouth and releasing it dramatically. "How about I tell you how you dazzle me, Bella?"

Far too focused on his feather-light ministrations, I simply shake my head trying to control my breathing and mentally will my ass not to grind up against his junk. His soft touches make my body instantly flush. I can feel the heat of my blush color my chest and cheeks.

I hear him quietly chuckle and hum as he pulls one of my straps of my tank-top down. "There it is." His voice is deep and gravelly as he runs his fingertips down my neck and across the top of my chest. "I fuckin' love it when you blush for me, Bella."

My inner whore squeals with glee in hopes that Edward's inner dirty boy is coming out to play. In an instant my heart rate quickens and my breathing accelerates. His hand wanders down gently palming my breasts, giving each equal attention for several minutes before he speaks again.

"You like that baby?" He asks, in a whisper as he lowers my tank and pulls one out running his thumb across the nipple, seeming pleased to watch it respond.

Moving in front of me he pushes me onto my back, and places his mouth over my nipple, tonguing, nipping and sucking it to his desired hardness. My breathing has become all but embarrassing at this point. It takes everything in me not to grab his head and press his face further into my chest. But this is his show, and I can't deny that I love it when he takes command. He grabs my hand as he continues to place long kisses against my breasts and guides it down to cup his erection. I can feel his body shudder a bit when he places my hand on his shaft and I stroke and squeeze it lightly through his thin cotton pants.

"Ugh, shit! Yeah - that feels so..." He grunts and trails off, as I take a bit of initiative and slip my hand in his pants for a better feel of him.

He is so hard and I am dying to open my eyes and ogle how thick his dick looks in my small hand as I stroke him, but I don't since I am entirely too selfish enjoying the feel of him all over my body. Composing himself, he runs his hand down my stomach, a mere inches from the promise land. He bunches my tank up and proceeds to lower his body down my torso. My inner whore pouts and stomps her foot a little as we are enjoying palming his straining erection, but all of that is forgotten as soon as he begins kissing around my belly button, pulling my boy shorts down as he goes, then tossing them to the ground.

Running his hands down my thighs, he grabs my knees, bending them and spreading my legs wide. I should be embarrassed being as exposed as I am, laid out before him. But excitement trumps the awkwardness I feel, because the look in his eyes is enough to set my entire body on fire.

"Beautiful." He mouths as his eyes meet mine.

At this, he deftly slides two fingers inside of me and I can hear the evidence of my excitement coating his fingers. Closing my eyes and enjoying the sensations of his manipulation, I all but jump out of my skin as I feel his cool breath mere inches from my most sensitive spot.

"Open your eyes, Bella." He commands just before he wraps his mouth around my swelling clitoris.

His eyes never leave mine as he roughly rolls his tongue all around it, intermittently sucking it between his teeth. He enjoys this, watching my reactions, hearing the sounds and silent screams that only his touch can elicit from my body. He has me panting, my breathing and sounds are bordering on amateur porn star status.

"Are you dazzled, yet?" He asks, removing his mouth from me and smiling like the cat that ate the canary.

Unable to form coherent words, I have to nod. I do believe that Edward has a very thorough grasp of how to dazzle me.

"Hmm. I'm not sure you are there yet." He muses aloud as he places wet kisses back up my torso. "Let me see what I can do about that."

He redirects his focus to my breasts again. His hands feel huge as he palms and kneads them while tonguing and sucking them intermittently. The twin whores stand proudly as he lavishes attention on them. My inner whore smirks and gives a double middle finger salute to his former favorite girls, AKA Heidi's tits.

"I fucking can't get enough of you." He growls as he moves up to whisper in my ear before he gently sucks and bites down on my earlobe, causing a shiver to travel through my entire body.

As he is paying homage to my ears and neck, I feel his straining erection against my thigh. Reaching down, I gingerly run my fingertips over the head of his cock. With a breathy moan, I decide that a little reciprocity is in order.

"Edward… Can I try something?" I can tell by the sexy smirk that he loves that I am playing along. _Dirty boy_.

"By all means." He replies, rolling both of us onto our sides facing each other. I slowly slide my hands into his pants, one over his erection and the other cupping his balls.

Taking full advantage of any opportunity to touch his junk, I go all Mr. Miyagi on him, working over and massaging his shaft and balls like I am trying to heal him. He closes his eyes and groans deeply before licking his lips and placing his mouth on mine hungrily. His kiss is consuming and commanding, hot and hard as I continue to roughly jack him off.

"OH, GOD!" He exclaims as he realizes that I've dipped into my own honey pot so to speak for some additional lubrication as I continue to work his cock over.

With a growl, Edward reintroduces two of his long, thick fingers to my vaginal walls and his fat thumb to my clit. His fingers are pumping in and out quickly, pressing upward and spreading as they enter me. Without taking his eyes off of where he is pleasuring me, he resumes his dirty musing.

"I can't wait to be inside of you, Bella. Having you wrapped all around me is going to -"

"Do it!" I gasp, "Edward, please. Please, I want you to." I all but beg him. His thumb presses down on my clit, circling, and pinching so hard, the pleasure is almost painful. I am almost there.

Edward's breathing is labored as he pants into my neck. "Not yet, baby doll." He grunts as his own orgasm looms. "I want you too, but not yet!"

"Aghh, Edward! FUCK!" I literally scream as he adds a third finger and fishes around until he finds my g-spot.

My orgasm washes over me from head to toe. I see white behind my eyelids and my mouth goes dry from the amount of my questionable panting and screaming. My thighs shake and my toes curl. And my poor clit, I remove my hand from his nuts to smack his thumb away from her. I feel his dick stiffen and I am not sure if it's from the impending orgasm, or my death grip on his shaft. Seconds later, he spurts three huge globs of spunk onto my stomach with a low moan and a series of colorful, sexy curses.

We lie there with our eyes closed, trying to catch our breath and get our bearings under control. I open my eyes to find him staring at me. I can't quite read the expression on his face, but if I were a betting woman, I'd wager that I am wearing the exact same one. This is more than a fling; this is more than sex. It may not be true love just yet, but whatever this is, it runs bone deep and is far more intense than it should be being only two weeks in.

Edward leans in kissing me reverently before placing his forehead against mine. "I'm never gonna get enough of you." He says closing his eyes and smiling against my lips.

"I think you've had your fill for this weekend." I reply with a lazy smile and a yawn.

"I don't think I have." He pouts.

I snort and roll my eyes. "Yeah. Okay, then wake me up when you are ready to go again, big guy!"

He quirks his brow at my challenge and he grins evilly. "Oh Miss Swan. You shouldn't have said that!"

Truth be told, I can't wait to be woken.

* * *

**A/N… Okay... who's ready for penetration? Show of hands? Oh, all of you? Oh, alright... I'll see what I can do for the Sunday update...**

**I am glad so many of you enjoyed the last chapter. I haven't come across many jizz shots in the fandom, other than those ****in the BDSM genre. That being said, the response to the eye-yi-yi-eye shot was epic. I got wind of another fic who's Bella was a victim of friendly jizz fire to the eye socket as well. Make sure to go check out the story Loving E, by Dream of Rob10. I just finished it and it's funny and sweet and sexy as hell! Two enthusiastic thumbs up - thanks to Dream of Rob10 for putting it on my radar!**

**Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, favorited and lurked this fic!**


	14. Chapter 14 - Falling Slowly

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**And here we go...**

* * *

Chapter 14 – Falling Slowly

Shelving books in the graduate reading room is a new favorite past time of mine. It's quiet and monotonous and makes the day go by quickly which allows me to analyze all things Edward. The past month as Edward Cullen's girlfriend – pardon me – Facebook official girlfriend has been pure, unadulterated bliss. As we cruise through the getting to know you phase, I find that opening up to and getting to know Edward is effortless and easy.

Every interaction, whether it is conversations over coffee or the quiet, intimate confessions during our pillow talk are amazing. I know now more than ever that it really wouldn't be very difficult to fall in love with Edward Cullen. Sure, sometimes he is a tad controlling, a smidge stubborn, and a bit of a hot-head. But God help me, I am so down for his brand of crazy.

Emotionally we are growing closer every day, but our physical relationship has hit a bit of a speed bump. Apparently I went from Mr. Missionary Mike to Mr. Born Again Virgin. Edward doesn't seem too interested in sealing the deal. We are caught on a proverbial oral, grope, dry-hump, make-out hamster wheel with no signs of getting off in sight.

I thought my luck changed yesterday when I ran into him in front of the student health care clinic.

_I am mentally berating myself as I rub my throbbing upper arm. I swear, every single time I get the shot, I always end up using my upper arm to push open the heavy doors of the health clinic. It hurts like a bitch, just like it did three months before and three months before that._

"_Bella." Edward calls out, jogging slightly to catch up with me. "Are you sick? Did you hurt yourself?"_

_He looks so concerned with his narrowed eyes and forehead scrunched. This can be good, maybe now I can address our lack of penetration in a mature way, instead of me going on total whore autopilot and begging for him to fuck me. My inner whore scoffs, as if she would ever stoop to that level. Maybe she wouldn't… but I would._

"_Nope, I'm totally fine, just got my shot." I explain, pointing at my throbbing arm._

"_The shot, huh? I guess I pegged you more for a pill and condoms kind of gal." Aha, Mr. Cullen is fishing for information; you are playing right into my hands sir._

"_Psssh," I dramatically roll my eyes. "Cullen, I can barely feed myself regularly, you really think I could be responsible for my sexual health on a daily basis? Oh please…"_

_He throws his head back and laughs because it is true. I think I have an eating attention deficit disorder. But I have his attention, so I continue._

"_And condoms, no thanks! Can't stand them actually." I add._

_He looks at me seriously. I can see him turning that last bit of information over and over in his head. _

"_So, you don't use condoms?" He asks cautiously, as if he is afraid that my vag is infested with every STD strand known to man._

"_No, I used them all the time, I just didn't want to because I don't like them. Being ribbed for her pleasure never brought me any pleasure. Nope, it only brought me slightly painful urination, and a nice sterile, latex smelling cooch."_

_He smirks, but still looks a little wary so I decide to throw up the Hail Mary pass. _

"_I mean, as long as my partner and I are clean and monogamous, why not just… enjoy, you know? I'm covered."_

_Inwardly I chuckle as realization colors his face. Yes, Mr. Cullen. That is your invitation to hit it raw, provided you are clean of course._

_He nods, and possibly mutters, "Good to know." _

_I can't be sure because he books it out of there, saying something about being late to class._

No matter though, tonight he is picking me up and taking me to Carlo's again. Midterms are coming up so we know we aren't going to see each other much with studying during the week and such.

Clearly not paying attention as I push the shelving cart down a row of tables, I gasp at the sound of a large book dropping a few feet in front of me echoing through the Graduate Reading Room. I am just about to jump around my cart to pick up the book when I notice the smirking faces of Paul Wolf and Jared something or other, I usually just call him _Bongwater_.

Paul from what I know of him is a world class asshole. Not only does he hang with Royce King, he also does more steroids than the male cast members of the Jersey Shore. Disgusting doesn't even begin to cover this scumbag. My friend Bree messed around with him our freshman year. She calls him Turtle-Dick because it took forever for his tiny dick to get hard; she had to coax it out of its shell like a little turtle. That's not the worst part though, apparently once he did get going; he flipped her on her knees and flexed his muscles in the mirror as he fucked her. _Um, Christian Bale from American Psycho called and said he wants his signature move back. _I won't lie; he's cute with his olive complexion and dark hair. His eyes are something else too, but he is just too volatile to be remotely attractive. If there is an award for, _Most Likely to be a Wife-beater_, this guy would win it – hands down.

Now Bongwater, I mean, Jared on the other hand, he looks like a brunette Shaggy from Scooby Doo. He also happens to be one of Royce's main slingers. I find this fascinating since he kind of reminds me of Forest Gump when he takes the rocks to the back of the head – he is just completely oblivious. Both of them are wearing a douchy grin on their faces. I am instantly uncomfortable. I jut my chin out indignantly and level them with a bitch brow.

"Are you going to pick that up?" I ask with annoyance lacing my tone.

Paul leans back in his chair, placing his arms behind his head with a satisfied smile on his face. "I can't. Bad back you know." He smirks before continuing, "Why don't you bend over like a good little girl and pick it up for me."

Bongwater is giggling like Michael Sheen in that vampire movie everyone loves. Paul appears so pleased with himself; I want to punch him in his face. Perhaps I've been hanging out with Rosalie too much because I cannot stop the next sentence out of my mouth. Pouting my lips and making a sad face, I goad him in a baby voice.

"Aw, did someone get frustrated with the book because it didn't have any pictures. Tell ya what little guy, why don't you hit up the Children's Room at the Seattle Library on Roosevelt." I taunt as I cross my arms over my chest. I smirk as I whisper for good measure, "I think that's more your speed."

It only takes a split second for what I am saying to register on his face and in his posture. This fucker is definitely on steroids because he goes from affronted to homicidal in two seconds flat. Bongwater stops his snickering and looks almost afraid for me. Pulling himself up to stand, Paul is practically snarling. I back up and pull my cart closer_. So this is what they mean when they say "ya fuck with the bull you get the horns". Good to know._

"Paul!" A male voice rings out sharp and chastising. "Sit down!"

I turn slightly and notice their friend approaching us looking cocky and smug. He must think he's Mr. All American with his brown hair and blue eyes. Bending over, he picks the book up off the floor and places it gently in my cart.

"Sorry about Paul, he's a bit of an asshole." He grins as he motions to the poster boy for 'roid rage.

I nod curtly and attempt to push past the axis of arrogance. Stepping in front of my cart, he extends his hand. Apparently my rescuer wants me to know his name so I know what to call him as I kiss his ass.

"I'm Alec. You are…" He trails off.

It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes at how impressive this guy finds himself. Instead I opt for a tight smile, a manly handshake and a curt, "Bella."

Recognition colors his face as his grin grows exceedingly larger. "Yeah, you're dating _Cullen_, right?" He asks. I instantly hate the way he says Edward's name, as if it is some sort of a punch line or something.

"Yes." I answer harshly unable to mask my annoyance. "Now if you'll excuse me." I finish trying to push past him.

I am grateful when he steps out of the way, with his self-satisfied smirk still in place. "I'll be seeing you soon, Bella." Alec promises quietly as I pass him causing his sketchy crew to laugh menacingly.

Just when I think I am out of the woods, I hear Paul make an ominous promise of his own. "I'll get you bent over soon enough."

I cannot get out of this room quickly enough. My stomach lurches and my mind reels trying to process what just happened. Just as I am about to reach the exit into the main library, I notice Edward leaning against the door. His posture is tense, his jaw is tight, and his eyes are narrow. In short he looks like he is livid, but there is no way he could have possibly heard what they were saying to me.

"Hi there." I say softly as I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him, fully expecting to melt into his embrace. His body goes completely rigid, refusing to reciprocate any of my affections. Opening my eyes, I notice his expression has changed only slightly, only now he is looking at me in disgust.

"What's the matter?" I ask, a healthy mix of concern and confusion coloring my face.

Glaring, he gingerly removes my arms from his body and steps away from me. "Are you fucking serious right now? I walk in here, you're over there, pushing your tits up and chatting up three of the douchiest guys on campus." He snarls, pausing only a moment before he continues my scolding, "Paul is a fuckin' future _To Catch a Predator_ collar. And Alec, well fuck Bella, he..."

"You have no fucking clue what you are talking about," I speak over him sharply. "I don't know what you think you saw over there, but it was far from what you are implying. Those jackasses threw a book in front of my cart and told me to bend over. The only smiling I did was when I implied that the sex offender is illiterate, to which he stood up to kick my ass. And Alec, he came over to pick up the book and insult the fact that I am dating you."

My chest is heaving as I continue my furious, unnecessary explanation. "Perhaps instead of standing over here like a fucking four year old, making up your own version of events, you should learn to trust your girlfriend."

And with that, I maneuver around him so I can push my cart toward the backroom as angry tears threaten to fall. Unfortunately I am not that coordinated and crash the wheel against the door frame. The loud screeching of the wheel against the steel frame causes a huge disturbance as it echoes through the library. _Great, now we have an audience_. I take off like my ass is on fire.

"Bella, wait!" He calls out, trying to catch up with me.

But before he can reach me, I slip into the 'employees only' backroom. I park the cart near the sorting table and clock out. Anger surges through me as I take a quick look at myself in the mirror. My mind reels, replaying his words, remembering how cold he was. Incensed, I barrel through the door and practically sprint to the library exit, hoping to avoid Edward.

No such luck, the minute I walk out to the quad, he is there, waiting. Oddly, he is only one bench over from where my last boyfriend gave me my pink slip. He jumps up and approaches me slowly, like I am some kind of angry hippo poised to charge him. Rolling my eyes, I take off not wanting to give him the opportunity to insult me again.

I hear him before I feel him pulling me into his arms from behind. "Please, just. Just wait, Bella." He pleads as he gently drags me backwards against his body.

He keeps one arm around my waist, anchoring me to him. His other hand strokes the opposite side of my face as I feel his warm breath against the shell of my ear. "I'm sorry, baby." He coos soothingly, "I'm so, so sorry."

He turns me around to face him wanting me to see the sincerity on his face, and I do. He has to know though, that that shit is unacceptable. His hand cups my jaw and my body betrays me as I involuntarily lean into his palm. He looks at me expectantly and maybe even a little bit desperately.

"Edward, you should know that you can trust me. To think that you don't trust me, it just makes me feel…" I trail off trying to articulate my feelings, seeking out the perfect adjective. _Angry. Hurt. Murderous._ _Sad._ But I decide on another route all together, my voice cracks when I speak softly. "It breaks my heart, Edward."

Closing his eyes, he leans his forehead against mine, shaking it lightly. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I know _you _wouldn't do that to me. Not _you."_

While I know his apology is sincere, I still have no idea why he went from zero to Crazy-town in a hot second. "I forgive you Edward, but serious, what brought that on."

He stands at his full height and begins lolling his head from side to side, trying to stretch out his neck. "Shit, I don't know, Bella." He answers flustered.

It's seems like it's more like he doesn't want to talk about it. He looks down at me, his eyes pleading for me to drop it. We stand in silence for a minute or two. He's not going to elaborate and I just don't feel the need to push.

Blowing out a breath, I whisper, "I forgive you."

I wrap my arms around his waist and burrow into his chest. I can feel him placing delicate kisses on the top of my head as he hugs me tightly to him and lifts me off the ground ever so slightly. My stomach growls loudly, effectively ruining our make-up session. He chuckles against my scalp before he grabs my hand and leads me down the quad toward the restaurant.

"Come on Swan, let's get you fed."

~~IYR~~

Entering the restaurant, there is no sign of Carlo or his son Gino. The place is packed. We are greeted and seated by an adorable old man named Frank. Our dinner date is going so well. The food and conversation is fantastic as always. And apart from his "O" face, I find that there is nothing sexier than watching Edward eating gelato. _God help me if he ever orders oysters._

Just as Edward is placing his wallet back in his pocket, he freezes at the sound of a woman's boisterous laughter. His shoulders are hunched and he looks as if he wants the floor to swallow him whole. He closes his eyes and his expression is a mixture of annoyance and… constipation or something. Every single time this woman giggles, he literally cringes.

I angle my head so I can scout out the offending laugher. I think it is coming from a booth two rows away from us. There is a couple sitting there in a close embrace. He is whispering into her neck and she is giggling like a school girl. She has long, caramel colored hair that cascades down her back in waves. I wish I could see her face.

My mind shifts into crazy mode. This is obviously a previous conquest for Edward. Is she current? Or is she someone he fucked and ducked? I stare at him using my Jedi powers as if to ask him "what the fuck".

"Someone you know?" I ask quietly. Without opening his eyes he nods in the affirmative, so I continue. "Someone you know, well?" Again, he nods possibly confirming my fears_. Alright, Swan, it's time to get down to the heart of the matter, Don Henley style. _"A former lover, perhaps?" I hedge. That sure gets his attention_. _His eyes shoot open and he looks as though he might vomit.

"What? Eww, no! Just...no! Jesus, Bella!"

"Well what do you expect me to think when you look all crazy every single time she laughs?" I counter, throwing my napkin on the table.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and starts laughing lightly.

"I am glad I amuse you." I huff, crossing my arms over my chest.

Standing up, he reaches for my hand with a big smirk on his face. "Uh, do you want to meet my parents?"

I stare at him for a few seconds as what he asks me sinks in. The lovey-dovey couple in the corner booth are his parents. Standing, I take his hand as he leads me over.

The good doctor still has his face in his wife's neck so I can't really get a proper look at him other than to see that he is a sharp dresser in a light gray dress shirt and charcoal colored tie. Mrs. Cullen is beyond gorgeous. Her eyes are closed as her husband lovingly rubs the back of her neck whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She is head to toe perfection wearing a smart black pant-suit and fabulous black patent peep-toe shoes. She turns her head slightly as if she senses our stare. Beaming as she recognizes her son, she shifts in her seat and pats her hands on her knees twice as if she is beckoning a little lap dog.

"EDWARD!" She squeals at the top of her lungs.

While Esme Cullen may have been the portrait of perfection and sophistication, at this moment she is also evidently shit-faced. Edward pulls me over to introduce me to his parents. His mother jumps up and pulls him into a bear hug while rocking him from left to right. It is hilarious and awkward to see him being manhandled by his mother. Once she releases him from her kung fu grip, she turns her eyes to me. With a huge smile she begins clapping and bouncing on the balls of her feet excitedly.

"Edward, is this your, Bella?"

Edward turns to gesture towards me as he introduces me to his parents "Uh, yeah, Mom, Dad, this is…" but he is abruptly cut off.

"Bella, it's so nice to meet you. Carlisle, look, it's Bella. Edward's Bella," She all but yells wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug before grabbing my hand and leading me back to her table. "Bella, this is my husband, Carlisle."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen." I greet, extending my hand to the drop dead gorgeous doctor.

His features are angled and sharp, in shocking contrast to the softest gray eyes I've ever seen. The chorus of _Dr. Feelgood _runs though my head. _Bad Bella – stop lusting after the good doctor! _

"Please, call me Carlisle." He replies with a firm handshake. His friendliness distracts me from my dirty musings.

"And call me Esme, dear." Esme adds with a hiccup and another squeeze around my shoulders. All of a sudden she begins waving her arms wildly to their server.

"Please bring two more bottles of wine," Esme requests, gesturing to the empty bottle of wine on the table. "We're celebrating, aren't we Carlie!" She continues, slapping the good doctor's upper thigh. I swear both Cullen men flinch.

Esme goes on to excitedly explain that she has been selected to help restore a room in _The Shuey House_, a historical landmark near campus. Her excitement is palpable, and apparently, Dr. Cullen's is as well. While speaking, Esme is very animated, however whenever someone else carries the conversation, her hand always seems to find itself on her husband's dick. The poor man, she is handling it like a gear shift. _Hmm, it appears someone around here is good at driving a stick._ I can't tell if he is feeling aroused or assaulted. I quietly giggle noticing Edward pinching the bridge of his nose at his parent's overt sexual brazenness.

We shut the restaurant down and four bottles of wine later, Esme hugs me for like ten minutes while repeatedly telling me how perfect I am for her Edward and how happy I make him. She also makes us promise to come over for an early dinner tomorrow.

Carlisle gives Edward his keys and asks him to drive the car out to their house tomorrow since they are entirely too drunk to drive tonight. After calling a cab, he then pulls Edward aside, apparently discussing some serious business. Nodding and smiling, Edward appears to be relieved by whatever his father is telling him. The cab arrives and Edward tries to extract me from his mothers clutches.

"Es, the cab is here." Carlisle whispers into his wife's neck as he wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her back to his chest.

Esme begins bouncing again and grabs her husband's tie leading him to the car. I am 110% sure Edward wants to stab himself in the eardrums when we hear his mother squeal, 'Yea, taxi hummer!' Carlisle wags his eyebrows as she pulls him into the cab. As the car drives away, I am confident I see his mom's head disappear. Staggering back to Edward's house, my curiosity gets the better of me.

"So what were you and Carlisle whispering about over there?"

With his signature crooked smirk he replies, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I raise an expectant brow and say, "Duh, that's why I asked."

Rubbing the back of his neck, he seems a little embarrassed. "He was letting me know that my STD test results came back."

"Oh… Oh gosh, Edward. You didn't have to tell me, that's really not my business. Well, not really. I mean, it's not like we're… you know." I stutter.

"Well no, it does directly affect you, since I am clean and all." He admits quietly, raising his eyes to meet mine, gauging my reaction.

Biting my lip and nodding my head, I cannot hide my excitement over this new development. We continue to walk in relative silence. About a block from his house, the sky opens up and it begins to rain. And it isn't like a misty rain that you can make out in, I'm talking torrential downpour. Edward and I run down the street giggling like five year olds. A part of me wants to stay outside, stomp in the puddles and dance in the rain. That is until the lightning lights up the sky.

Edward and I haul ass into his house and down the stairs to his room, our shoes squelching the entire way. My teeth are chattering as I begin stripping my wet clothes off. Suddenly skinny jeans don't seem like such a good idea as I get all tangled up and fall face first on the floor. _Exceptionally smooth, Bella._

Laughing at my clumsiness, Edward picks me up off the floor and sets me on the bed before extracting my skinny jeans from my legs. Clad only in my bra and panties, I lean back on my elbows and rake my eyes over his body. Every nerve ending inside me is standing on end, positively vibrating with anticipation.

Watching me closely, Edward strips down to his boxer briefs, with much more grace than I am capable of. He looks beautiful standing there, his wet hair plastered to his head and dripping all over his body. He swallows thickly before climbing on top of me. Our kisses are slow and deep, each one is more passionate than the last. And just like he said he would, he kisses and worships every single inch of my body.

Desire courses through my entire body, as his fingers and mouth work over my most sensitive area with slow but wild abandon. With three fingers, he stretches me, preparing me for the ecstasy to come while his other hand kneads my breasts, making sure to manipulate the hardened peaks until the sensation is painfully pleasurable. I am a quivering mess by the time Edward kisses his way back up my body. Kissing me deeply once more and placing his forehead against mine, his eyes are desperately pleading for permission.

"Please." I whisper, pulling his lips to mine once more.

Pushing off my body, he settles on his knees between my legs. He spreads and lifts my thighs on top of his, stroking himself twice before he places the head against my entrance, rubbing it up and down my slit. Licking his lips, he looks to where we are about to be joined before he slowly and gently begins to push inside of me. The sensation is unbelievable as I feel myself stretching and molding around him. My entire body feels like a live wire, I can feel my legs tremble as he settles into me completely.

He pauses to look up at me, his smile is blinding and I can only assume that mine is just as brilliant. Leaning down, he intertwines my hands in his and places our joined hands above my head, kissing me hard. He begins to thrust slowly but deeply and with purpose. I feel full. Complete. For the first time, this feels so right.

No words are exchanged, nor are they necessary. The raging storm outside provides a hectic and frantic pace for our lovemaking to follow. Our breathing is uneven and labored as he begins to thrust harder, faster. Edward's body tenses and I can feel his shaft stiffen slightly inside of me. We're both so close. He pulls out and pushes off my body. He raises my legs until my ankles are resting on his shoulders, giving him a delicious new angle to penetrate.

Grunting loudly, he enters me again with a hard, swift thrust. Placing one hand on my hip and the other on my shoulder, he anchors me in preparation to receive him again. My body is seeking friction so I place my hands against his headboard, bracing myself to meet him thrust for thrust. Plunging forward quickly he bottoms out, only to follow it up with a slow grind. A deep moan escapes my lips and my body reacts on its own accord. My back arches and I lift my hips so his grind hits 'that' spot.

He recognizes exactly what I need and with a knowing smile, he begins a steady rhythm of rough thrusts and deep grinds. It's all too much. Between the flashes of lightning coming from the window, the sounds of our sweat and rain soaked skin slapping and the grunts erupting from Edward's clenched jaw, I throw my head back and close my eyes as I near my release.

His hips piston wildly, the movements are erratic and completely out of control. I can hear Edward's teeth click audibly as he breathes deeply through his nose and continues to pound in and out of me. This new punishing pace has me moaning and writhing beneath him, literally begging him for more.

"Please." I plead. "Edward, pleeeaaasssee!"

Before the entire word is out of my mouth, his fingers are on my clit, pinching and pulling the sides while his thumb makes rough circles under the hood. My scream sounds earth shattering even to my ears as my entire body tenses and shutters. I can feel my walls clamping down around him, pulsating and gripping his entire length.

Two powerful strokes later, Edward's climax takes him. He is buried in me to the hilt and I can feel him sputtering and twitching deep within. His jaw is taut and the chords of his throat strain as he releases a silent scream. _My God, he is magnificent when he comes._

Collapsing on top of me, we are both panting, trying to catch our breath. My own body is still riding out the aftershocks of my Edward Cullen dick induced orgasm. He lifts his head from my chest and I am slightly taken back by the seriousness of his expression. He opens his mouth several times to say something but seems to think better of it, so he just smiles my favorite crooked smile at me before placing a kiss and then his ear against my heart.

The wine and the fact that I have literally just had the best orgasm of my life makes me want to say crazy and sappy things to him. Like how I have never been happier in my life. Or that I want to be with him forever. Or that I am crazy in love with him… I inwardly debate the pros, cons and consequences of making such a statement in our afterglow. My inner deliberation is interrupted by Edward's deep breathing and soft snores. I smile softly at the beautiful boy, lying on my chest and pull the covers over us. Unable to stop myself, I kiss the top of his head.

"I'll love you forever, Edward Cullen." I quietly whisper, hopeful that one day I will say it to him when he's conscious.

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**A/N… So now that we have their first time out of the way... Let the crazy, smutty times begin... **

**Thank you so much to everyone who has read, reviewed, rec'd, followed, fav'd and/or lurked this fic! See you dolls on Thursday!**


	15. Chapter 15 - Ridin' Dirty

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Special shout out to Twiggalina for being my 1000th review. Important authors note below - please make sure to read.  
So where were we? Ah yes, Edward's room... Let the fun begin...**

* * *

Chapter 15– Ridin' Dirty

Under normal circumstances, I would expect that the morning after to be different. Sun filtering in from the window, shy smiles, quiet laughter, longing glances. I don't know, maybe even birds chirping on the window sill or some shit like that. But no, the morning after is nothing like that.

I wake up to find a snoring Edward who has totally pinned me down. _Well, maybe it's not so bad, but it's definitely not as sexy as it sounds. _His arm lies across my chest holding one of my breasts captive in his massive hand. Granted, that would be pleasant if said massive hand was not gripping my boob like a stress ball. And to top it off his thigh is draped across my midsection pressing heavily on my bladder. Our previous conversation about his junior prom clued me in to the fact that he is not into water sports, so pissing on him at this stage in the game would be… bad. However, on a positive note, I feel the Kraken stiffening against my hip; perhaps he will unleash the beast again this morning.

On second thought, I can taste my breath and smell the booze sweating out of my skin –morning nookie is definitely out of the question. My head is pounding and I literally do not have the strength to lift it off the bed. Or that could be because Edwards face is planted in my hair, snoring loudly in my ear. His phone is ringing again, this caller is fucking relentless. With a deep groan of annoyance, Edward reaches for the phone. Reading the screen, he huffs and rolls his eyes as he plops back on the bed.

"Good afternoon, Mother." He answers sarcastically, his voice gravelly and rough. _Ugh, makes me want to lick him._

No longer restrained, I make my escape to the bathroom to empty my bladder and hopefully run my finger over my teeth with a dab of toothpaste_. Note to self, buy a toothbrush for purse_. After answering Mother Nature's call, I grab the toothpaste and nearly scare the shit out of myself as I catch a look at not only my reflection, but Edward's as well.

"What's wrong?" He asks, all concerned, looking crazy sexy naked, with a literally freshly fucked coif.

"Oh my God, Edward do not look at me!" I screech, covering my mascara and lipstick smudged face.

"You're being ridiculous." He scoffs pulling up the toilet seat and lining his shaft up to relieve himself.

And _apparently_ we've reached the critical point in our relationship where we piss in front of each other? It seems Edward is just as free to be you and me as Tanya. I swear that girl will pop a squat anywhere. I am trying to decide if we should have a discussion on bodily functions - farting in bed and Dutch ovens are a hard limit for me. I'll work up to that conversation, I suppose.

"Edward I look gross. I've got make-up all over my face and a stage 5 case of milady hair." I whine.

His eyes are closed as he continues to urinate; apparently he is quite cocksure in his aim. He peeks one eye open at me with a devilish smirk. "Do I want to know what milady hair is?"

Rolling my eyes I run my fingers through my questionable hairdo. "This happens sometimes when I don't dry my hair. The top gets all plastered down against my scalp and the bottom is all curly. It's like, the fourth Musketeer, d'Artagnan bowing dramatically and saying 'Hello milady', " I explain, bending over to illustrate the dramatic bow.

Edward snorts and mumbles something about me being certifiable as he walks passed me and turns on the shower. I finish finger brushing my teeth while Edward tests the water. Once the water is hot enough, he opens the curtain, turns to me and bows.

"After you, milady."

"Such a gentleman," I tease as I roll my eyes and hop in the shower.

The hot water feels amazing as I lather my hair up with Edward's shampoo. His scent is everywhere, and then suddenly his hands are everywhere as well as he steps in behind me. Slowly he rubs his body wash over my throat, shoulders and chest; I audibly hum as his hands sink lower and lower. He purposely avoids my center which is aching to be touched, making close, and teasing passes over my thighs. Kissing his way up my spine, I feel his lips at my ear.

"Lean forward and put your hands on the wall, Isabella." His voice is low and gritty yet confident and commanding at the same time.

His hands guide mine to the shower tiles just above my eye level. Once they are placed where he wants them, he traces his hand over my arms and down my back where he nudges me forward until my back is appropriately arched. I love that he doesn't even have to test it; he knows I am ready for him, always ready for him. Steadying me with one hand on my hip, I can feel his cock against me, poised to enter. With one thrust he is fully sheathed inside of me.

I close my eyes and take in all of the sensations around me. The steam heat and the water beading down my front. The sound of his uneven breathing as the pace of his thrusts quickens. The slapping of our skin and squelching noises coming from my pussy as it becomes impossibly wetter has me gasping for more. Everything is so new. I've never been taken this way before and every nerve in my body is on fire.

I chance a glance back at Edward. His eyes are locked on where we were joined; his lips are pulled tightly together, the chords in his neck and the veins in his forearms tighten as he delivers each powerful thrust. He is close. He needs this. I need this. I slide my hands down the tile, bending my body further down. His thrusts falter for a moment as I bend my knee and raise my foot to the rest on the ledge of the tub. My body begins to involuntarily shiver, the anticipation palpable.

"Please," I plead desperately.

He knows. He knows what I want. He knows what I need. But he has needs too. He needs me to say it. Out loud.

"Please what, Isabella?" He asks in a low voice, before leaning down to place a soft kiss beneath my ear.

"Please, Edward. Please!" I whine.

"Tell me. Please what?" He commands.

"Please," I beg once more before I summon up the courage to meet his eyes which have gone from playful to downright feral. "Fuck me."

And with those two words, Edward goes to work. With a renewed vigor and a complete lack of restraint he fills me over and over again. Deeper. Faster. Harder. He claims me.

His breathing is ragged, his pace is frantic, and his entire body tenses against my trembling legs and back-side. I feel his cock stiffen inside of me just as he releases a rough grunt which sets off my own release. My insides tighten around his shaft as it shoots; my walls milk every last drop. My face contorts as I silently scream, riding out my climax. My legs give out from underneath me, allowing me to blissfully collapse.

Once our breathing returns to normal and we have fully regained some semblance of control of our bodies, he gently assists me as I struggle to straighten. Turning me to face him, he kisses me slowly, sensually, grateful and reverent. So sweet – that is until he smacks my ass cheek.

"Hurry up, Swan. My mom is expecting us!"

~~IYR~~

Our hands are intertwined above the console of Carlisle's Mercedes as we speed over Lake Washington to his parent's home on Mercer Island. Taking in the scenery, I am a bundle of nerves, chewing my lip.

"You're quiet." He observes, though his eyes never leave the road.

"I'm nervous." I admit quietly.

Edward snickers and shakes his head. "You're being ridiculous, my parents love you. Oh, which reminds me, my mom said she sent you a friend request on Facebook. I need you to accept her request before we get there or I'll never hear the end of it."

"Already taken care of. Now I am going to need for you to call your parents and tell them to start hitting the booze again so I will seem as awesome as they remember."

He unleashes a dazzling smile and brings the back of my hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss there.

"You're wonderful," He murmurs. "And besides, my mom will still be buzzed when we get there." He adds with a reassuring smirk, "It's always cocktail hour at the Cullen house."

I arch my eyebrow, silently indicating that I am going to need him to elaborate.

He chuckles before continuing, "My parents are very social, particularly my mom. It's really her that keeps the vermouth industry in business. I hope you like martini's because that is their beverage of choice."

I want to add that based on her wine drinking last night that she is Napa Valley's best customer as well, but I give him a nod and smile instead.

To say the Cullen's house is impressive would be an understatement of massive proportions. It is elegant and stately, but not ostentatious like some of the other homes in the neighborhood. Edward opens the car door and extends his hand to help me out. I smooth down my dress making sure it covers the thigh high hosiery Tanya convinced me to wear. _For easy access you know._

Pulling my body close to his, he whispers in my ear, "What are you wearing, _dirty girl_?"

I can't help the shit eating grin that crosses my face. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I purr as I walk up to the entryway.

Esme rips open the door before I am even able to ring the bell. She greets us enthusiastically and pulls me into a tight hug. For someone who appears delicate and slight, she has the strength of a sumo wrestler.

"Be-llllla," She squeals as she rocks me back and forth, "I'm so happy you guys made it!"

"Here, let me take your jacket." Carlisle says as he approaches Esme and me with caution, much like you would approach someone getting mauled by a bear.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." I say as he removes my pea-coat from my arms.

"Please, call me Carlisle." He reminds me gently.

Before I can nod or acknowledge his request, Esme interrupts. "Edward, be a dear and get Bella and I some drinks. I am going to show her around." She instructs over her shoulder, hooking our elbows together and leading me into another room.

Guiding me through a set of French doors, we enter the great room. I can feel my eyes widen and my mouth pop open at the room before me. There is floor to ceiling windows looking out over Lake Washington. The floors are a deep shiny espresso providing a striking contrast to the cool shade of grey-beige on the walls. There is a small seating area in the middle of the room with a stylish couch that I am convinced that no one ever sits in, adorned with perfectly fluffed throw pillows. Tall wing-back chairs are scattered purposefully around the room, as I am certain that Esme is not only an interior designer but a Feng Shui expert at that. Resting near the corner of the room is a magnificent black baby grand piano. I do not have a musical bone in my body, but for some reason I am inexplicably drawn to it.

Esme immediately notices my fascination and asks, "Do you play?"

"No, but I wish I could," I answer, shaking my head regretfully. I reach out to press on a few keys and immediately stop myself. Instruments are such personal things; you never know how someone will react. "May I play it?"

"I wouldn't." Edward warns his expression a healthy mix of caution and… disgust?

I'm not quite sure what to attribute his sudden mood change to, so I quickly place my hands behind my back. Noticing this, Esme gives a dramatic eye roll and a pointed glance at Edward, like she is gearing up to give him a dressing-down of her own.

I quickly intervene before she leans into him. "Do you play, Edward?"

His jaw is still tight looking like he is trying not to vomit, he simply nods as he hands me my martini with bleu cheese olives.

"Edward is a wonderful piano player." A very proud Esme beams, adding, "Classically trained."

_Oh, no wonder he is so amazing in the finger fucking department. Of course boy-wonder is a classically trained pianist, pre-med student, fuck-hot lover and boyfriend. _As if I didn't feel inferior enough, now she throws this shit into the mix? I look to Edward nodding appreciatively; meanwhile I am fighting down the urge to brag that in 8th grade I was the runner up in the Washington State spelling bee.

"Edward, you should play for her!" His mom excitedly suggests, bouncing on the balls of her feet and clapping her hands.

Shaking his head in the negative, Edward looks as though he is choking back bile as he places his hand on his stomach and swallows thickly. Clearing his throat, he meets his mother's eyes and mouths the word "no" just as Carlisle calls for Esme to come assist him.

"Christ Edward, get over it all ready," Esme snaps, as she stomps out of the room giving Edward a dirty look.

Once Esme is out of ear-shot, I look to Edward like a crazy person and throw my arms out, whisper yelling, "What the fuck?"

He quietly steps towards me pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "It's a long story, Bella. Please just drop it."

I run my teeth over my lip and arch an expectant brow at him to let him know that I have no intentions of dropping this and then cross my arms over my chest to let him know that I mean business.

"Fuck! Fine! Okay!" He whispers, begrudgingly. "Before my mom did the whole interior design thing, she was a stay at home mom who taught piano lessons back in Chicago. One day, my baseball practice got cancelled so I came home early and unexpectedly. I came in through the back door and I could hear someone playing, uh Piano Sonata No. 14, I think it was, either way Moonlight Sonata, really well."

"I think nothing of it and start making myself a sandwich, right." He continues quickly, "Then all of a sudden I hear my mom giving tempo commands that have no business being used in that piece. It's supposed to be played mainly in adagio."

I give him a blank look letting him know that I have no freaking clue what _adagio_ means.

"Yeah, okay, tempo is the pace of the play," He begins to explain as if he is talking to a 2 year old.

"I know what tempo is Edward, I just don't know what that specific command means." I interrupt with a bit of bite.

"Okay, yeah, sorry. Adagio is a relatively slow tempo." He explains before he begins to hum and conduct with his finger.

"So anyway, she starts saying these different tempo commands randomly. Next she shouts out 'allegretto' which is a quicker tempo than adagio. Then even louder she yells 'allegro' which is an even quicker pace. And the pianist is following the commands, slipping up here and there, but still playing really well so now I am curious as to who is playing this, right?"

I take a large swig of my drink and nod my head growing more concerned as the tone of Edward's voice becomes more panicked.

"So I walk up to the great room and before I turn the corner, I hear my mom screaming, 'Presto, Presto' which is like super fast and just not right for this piece. So I turn the corner and there's my mom on top of the piano with her legs over my dad's shoulders while he played…the piano…and her. Ugh, he was just dogging her out and..."

I start sputtering and choking on my martini. The liquid burning as it comes out my nose. I somehow manage to cover my mouth before I shower Edward with more than just my pity.

"Oh, shit! Are you okay?" He asks as he pats my back and hands me a tissue off of an end table.

My eyes are watering and I am sure I have mascara running down my face. I am trying so hard to hold back my amusement. My body is literally vibrating with laughter. As soon as I register his shocked expression, he launches into a whiny tirade.

"This is my piano, Bella! They defiled _my_ piano. Ugh, I can't get the image out of my head, and I can never play it again."

He collapses into a nearby wing chair and commences his nose pinching. Now his behavior all seems to make sense. Placing my drink on the table, I walk over to him and run my fingers through his hair as I have found that that seems to calm him.

"I'm sorry I laughed, Edward. But I wasn't prepared for the… visual you described." I soothe apologetically.

He leans his head into my stomach and wraps his arms around my middle. Apparently forgiven, I can't help but ask, "Seriously though, how are you not in therapy?"

Carlisle snickers from the doorway, "In my defense, I offered."

I smile, but Edward sneers.

Carlisle replies in kind with a cocky little smirk and a swagger in his step, turning as he exits the room, "Dinner is on the table, you two."

~~IYR~~

Despite the awkwardness of the piano situation, dinner is very pleasant. Esme and Carlisle tell me stories of Edward growing up. I feel a little guilty that I am secretly relieved to learn that Edward was a bit of a nerd early on in high school. Never missing an opportunity to humiliate, Esme rushes out of the room and prances back in with a huge photo album. Esme shows me her favorites, including Edward as a toddler naked with just a cape and a bucket on his head. Carlisle's favorite is a picture of Edward in grade school. His face is still chubby with baby fat and he is wearing these thick dark glasses. Carlisle refers to this as Edward's Piggy from _Lord of the Flies phase_.

The conversation then turns to me and my love of the written word. The Cullen family is apparently very big on reading_. It is fundamental, you know_.

"Edward, after dinner, you can show Bella the library and play for her." Esme suggests to Edward, however her tone indicates it is less of a suggestion and more of a command.

Seriously, who has a library? Next they are going to tell me is that instead of a swimming pool, they have a building like Scrooge McDuck that is technically a safe which occasionally doubles as a swimming pool when they want to swim in all of their money.

Carlisle is unfortunately is called into work unexpectedly before dessert. We help Esme clear the table and put away the food before she insists that Edward take me to the library to play for me. He gives her a salute and grabs my hand, leading me down the hallway.

Pointing to a door way on my left he informs, "This is my dad's office."

I sneak a peek into the cozy room. It's warm with rich mahogany furniture and a huge wall full of medical texts. A smaller wall shows off his notable credentials. However my favorite wall houses the intricately carved liquor cabinet. _Dr. Feelgood, indeed. _

Edward leads me further down the hallway a few feet before announcing like Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast, "And this is the library…"

He opens the door to a large room with three large walls that are filled floor to ceiling with books. Two oversized leather club chairs are nestled with a large leather ottoman in the corner of the room. A large picture window provides yet another breathtaking view of Lake Washington. A chaise lounge rests beneath the window, perfectly positioned to take in the beautiful scenery and the sounds of the piano situated near the adjoining door to Carlisle's office. I wonder how many pianos are customary for a place this size. Pulling out the bench, Edward lowers himself and lifts the lid. Edward looks to me and smirks.

"Any requests, doll face?"

Settling into the chaise lounge, I smile and say, "Moonlight Sonata".

He gives me a bitch brow to which I giggle. "Fine," I say adding, "surprise me."

His fingers begin working over the keys quick and steady, confident and sure. His expression is that of pure concentration. He is truly magnificent. Esme ambles in, taking a seat next to me on the chaise lounge. Her smile is brilliant, a mixture of pride and admiration. Edward's fingers linger over the keys as the piece comes to a close. Esme and I burst into applause, as does my inner whore who I am certain is down for Esme and Carlisle's brand of kink.

Esme's cell phone begins sounding and she steps over to the chairs and ottoman to take the call.

I take the opportunity to walk over to Edward.

"That was seriously amazing." I compliment him as I run my finger down his arm flirtatiously.

He nods his thank you and pulls me down on the bench next to him.

"Your father left a chart here. I need to take it over to him at the hospital." Esme notifies us as she ends her call and tosses the cell phone on the ottoman before making her way to the good doctor's home office. Moments later she emerges. "Will you guys be here when I get back?"

I look to Edward since I am merely along for the ride.

"No, we are probably going to take off, Mom." He advises standing and pulling me to stand as well.

We thank her and say our goodbyes. Esme informs me that she will be calling me soon to set up coffee or a lunch since she will be working on campus, all the while hugging and squeezing the life out of me. Upon her exit, I make my way over to the bookshelves as Edward resumes playing softly. So many titles, it's such a great mixture of classics, biographies, and modern fiction. I also spy a shelf of smutty reads including a couple of titles by Nancy Friday as well as Madonna's_ Sex_ book.

"What'cha looking at, Swan?" Edward asks, as he walks over and settles on the chaise lounge.

Spotting a familiar title, I grab it and bring it over to Edward. "Oh, just looking at your parent's healthy supply of sexual how-to books." I tease as I wave _She Comes First_ in his face.

"Oh, yes. I've been reading that." He informs me as he grabs the book and tosses it to the floor before reaching for my waist and pulling me down to straddle his stomach.

"Have you now?" I say as I run my fingers down his chest.

He gives me his dirty boy smirk as he runs his hands up under my skirt over my thigh highs. "Yes I have." He replies.

His hands trail further up my thighs, each settling on an ass-cheek. He gives my ass a squeeze and pulls me forward up his torso. Lifting my body, he scoots down the chaise so he can lie completely flat and I can no longer see him as he is under my skirt. He deftly slides my panties over to one side and spreads my lips apart.

"Let me hear you, Bella." He commands before swiping his tongue over my entrance.

Tightly closing my eyes, I gasp and moan loudly as he pulls me down further over his mouth. My hands roughly grip the edge of the chaise as I try to steady myself. Involuntarily it seems, my hips buck and roll, allowing for the most delicious sensations as his lips and tongue work over my clit.

I want to give this boy's tongue a fucking medal for excellence in the fine art of oral stimulation. There is no rhyme or reason to his sequence. He varies between nipping, sucking and swirling his tongue in circles on my clit. It's magical and maddening. Whimpering as he flicks and crying out as he bites down gently, my body's reactions are downright embarrassing as I essentially ride his face. So close, on the brink, every muscle in my body is rigid, tense and ready to explode.

I'm clearly having an out of body experience as I reach between my legs, grab two fistfuls of his hair and shove his face further into my pussy. My voice is shaky as I begin borderline chanting, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" louder and louder in each succession.

More determined than ever, Edward ups the ante seizing my ass and pushing his face in further, impossibly deeper. I'm pretty sure there will be ten small bruises on my ass tomorrow morning, but I won't deny that I absolutely love it when Edward Cullen loses his shit. It's just what I need to push me over the edge.

Throwing my head back, I whimper slightly as my climax is upon me, more than likely ripping Edward's hair out in the process. Blood is pounding through my ears and behind my eyes drowning out all the sights and sounds of the room, allowing me to focus solely on my release.

"I forgot my cell phone." I hear Esme say faintly, as the clicks of her heels get louder, as she approaches the door.

I try to scurry off Edward's face and pull down my skirt, but he has a strong hold on my ass, like Jaws of Life strong.

"I swear, if my head wasn't screwed on…" She starts to say before walking in the door, thumbing through her purse. "Aaaggghhh, EDWARD!" She screams as she gets an eyeful of her son dining at the Y.

Edward practically launches me across the room. All I know is that I am humping his mug one minute, and nursing carpet burns the next. I give him the stink eye as he sits up and wipes his mouth trying to look innocent. Esme covers her eyes, turns and storms out of the room; the click of her retreating heels follows. Relaxing only for a moment, we hear the hallway door to Carlisle's office rip open.

"We're fucking even, Edward!" She shrieks as she slams the door.

_That. Just. Happened._

* * *

**A/N… Hope you enjoyed the smutty awkwardness... You know I like to make it weird... **

**Okay sooooooo... I am only going to update once a week on _Thursdays_ from here on out. I am still in the process of writing and tweaking the last few chapters and I don't want to just rush through it to meet a deadline. I want you ladies to have _quality_ smut with a little plot peppered in :)**

**That being said, I don't want your Sunday nights to be smut free - so here are some of my personal favorite fic recs featuring some top shelf smut and a great storyline to boot:**

**The Slowest Burn by Typokween - Hands down one of the HOTTEST Edwards in the fandom. Yep - I said it - out loud. I would do sick things with this Edward... if he weren't a fictional character and in high school...**

**Insatiable Desires by ItzMegan73 - Each night as I lay my head down, I silently pray for important things like world peace, the safety of my children, and that ItzMegan73 finishes this work in progress because it is FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC! I am sure you will add this to your evening prayer as well upon reading it.**

**A Man Invincible - A Take Me Home Novella by Lovin Rob - If a Dirty Daddy C strikes your fancy - then this fic is for you. This Carlisle makes me wanna say "Edward who?". Not too much hotter than a dirty talkin', Russian mob connected Daddy C, just sayin...**

**A special thank you and shout out to one of the fandom's finest - FictionFreak95. If you aren't reading every word that she has ever written - you need to hip-hop and hop to what's hip!**

**Thanks so much to all of you who have read, reviewed, fav'd, followed, and lurked this fic! Catch you all next Thursday for a fun night with the girls... Happy Holidays, dolls!**


	16. Chapter 16 - Lucky

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Esme. Tanya. Booze. Banana Hammocks.  
Let's do this!**

* * *

Chapter 16 – Lucky

I am a bundle of nerves as I haul ass across the quad to get to my early dinner date with Esme. This will be the first time I've seen her since _the incident_. It will also be the first time I've seen her since Edward came home from class to find the chaise lounge we defiled in his room replacing the futon we sullied only a month earlier. I chuckle when I recall how Carlisle put a post-it-note on it saying how he knew of a good therapist for Edward _and_ his mother. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and I smile as I notice that it is an incoming text from Edward.

_Seriously, I just spent 20 minutes convincing Emmett not to paint himself green for St. Paddy's Day. He will use any excuse to look like the Hulk._

Snickering, I text a reply. _You better let him do it, Edward. You don't want to see him when he gets angry._

Edward recently came clean about his only vice - the fact that he is a comic book collector. Upon his confession, I made the mistake of calling him a _fanboy_, so he immediately went all Professor Cullen on me explaining the delicate intricacies of comic book collecting. He then took it to the next level, inviting me to join him at his favorite comic book store in Seattle. I still giggle when I think about it.

_The store reeks of pimple cream and virginity. It is full of high school boys who probably LARP regularly or play World of Warcraft for days at a time and pee into soda bottles so they don't have to pause their games. I'm pretty sure I feel like a unicorn in here because I doubt they get many female visitors. But holy shit, this is probably one of my favorite dates ever because watching Edward get his nerd on totally turns me on._

My phone begins buzzing again as Edward's face fills my screen. He looks absolutely delicious in his fanboy gear with his glasses and t-shirt that reads _I'm Batman_.

"Well hello there, Mr. Cullen." I purr.

"Baby, you know what it does to me when you talk nerdy to me." He says quietly. He must still be at the library.

"Ooh baby, I know how you get so revved up, when I say, 'It's clobberin' time'." I say trying to sound all sultry like.

He snickers lightly before asking, "So, are you nervous?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am nervous. I mean, she was so nice on the phone, I just worry that she is going to tell me that I am a huge slut and not good for you or something."

"Are you kidding me Bella?" He asks incredulously. "She adores you, asks about you non-stop. But don't be a pushover. Don't let her talk you into anything."

"I won't, now I have to go. I am at the restaurant." I say with a sigh. "Wish me luck."

"You'll be fine. Call me before you go out tonight."

"Will do. Buh-bye."

Taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly, I enter the restaurant and spot Esme sitting near a window sipping on a glass of wine. I wonder if she is nervous as well. _Here goes nothing,_ I mutter to myself as I approach the table.

"Bella! Hi!" She squeals, as she jumps up and pulls me into a big hug.

"Hi Esme, how are you?" I ask, as I give her three soft pats on the back, AKA tapping out.

"I am wonderful, dear! You'll have to excuse me; I am drinking my supper today." She explains as she pours me a glass of wine.

Nodding a thank you, I smile since apparently she is fine not addressing the elephant in the room. "I like where your head is at – what's the occasion?" I ask taking a swig of my drink.

"Carlisle is out of town and my friends and I are going to see an all male revue tonight." She says before smirking, "It's for charity of course."

I cough and sputter and cannot believe my bad luck. Thankfully the wine doesn't come out of my nose. Once I am able to compose myself, I clarify, "Are you going to the all male revue at _The Dancing Bare_?"

"Yes, you heard of the event?" She asks with a wide-eyed smile. She must be on the committee that organizes it. _Damn her charitable, kind heart!_

"Yes. I will actually be there this evening. It's my friend Tanya's birthday tonight, so – yeah." I finish lamely.

Practically vibrating, she gives a big squeal while clapping and bouncing her knees under the table. "We must go together!" She insists, "I've got a driver tonight; we can take your friends! It will be so much fun!"

I give her a hesitant smile as I am not sure how comfortable I will be next to my boyfriend's mother, who, will more than likely jump on stage and ride one of the strippers around like Seabiscuit. Hell, she may even give Tanya a run for her crazy ass money.

"Come on, Bell-a!" She whines. "It will be so much fun! I just… I just know how much you mean to Edward and…" She gives me a pout. _Ooh, well played Mrs. Cullen, well played_.

I only have one hope of getting out of this. "It does sound like fun. Let me call my friend and see if driving arrangements have already been made." I say as I pull out my phone.

Esme makes a show of topping off our glasses, celebrating as if she's already won.

"Hello?" Tanya's voice filters through the phone.

"Heeeyyy, birthday girl" I say hoping that our Jedi mind shit can work over the phone.

"Listen, I am here with Edward's mom and she is actually going to the male revue this evening as well. She kindly offered to give us a ride, I just wasn't sure that you didn't have transportation arranged already." I explain, hoping she will hear my hidden plea.

Oh she heard it alright. "Oh yeah!" She teases, "We would love to go see strippers with Edward's moommmyyyy."

I can hear Rose in the background hooting and hollering. They're celebrating my mortification as Esme looks on expectantly.

"Sounds good, we'll pick you up at…" I trail off hoping Esme will fill in the blank.

No, not that easy with Esme, she holds out her hand for my phone. _This just keeps getting better and better._

Pulling my phone to her ear, she smirks. "Hi, this is Esme Cullen." She greets Tanya confidently. "Listen, why don't you guys join us for dinner?"

Pausing to listen, she takes a sip of her wine. "That sounds won-derful, we are over at Carlo's. Just come over whenever you are ready."

Her smile widens victoriously, "Can't wait to meet you either, Tanya!"

~~IYR~~

Dinner is not nearly as bad as I think it will be. Esme is lovely and charming, completely down to earth, not to mention completely inebriated. Naturally my friends are immediately taken with my boyfriend's mom and her brand of crazy. Conversation flows effortlessly with Esme at the helm. We talk about everything from school to our relationships and that's when it gets weird.

"Tanya, what do you want to do once you are done wiff college?" Esme slurs slightly.

Tanya looks from left to right to make sure no one else is listening to our conversation and loudly whispers, "I want to create a line of sex toys".

"Okay…" I all but yell. "I think the car will be here soon, let's get the checks and get out of here."

Intrigued, Esme places her elbows on the table with the most serious expression on her face.

"OH MY GOD! I la-la-la-la LOVE sex toys." She sings, yes, sings. "I literally have an arse," hiccup, "arsenal."

Tanya's smile widens by a mile. "What's your pleasure, Mrs. C? Because I have some pretty good ideas. Bella here knows books, but I," She pauses, "well, I know _cock_."

Tanya's arms are across her chest, posing proudly like she just let it slip that she won The Nobel Peace Prize. _I must intervene. _

"That's enough, Tanya." I chastise quietly through my clenched teeth before reminding her, "I'm sure Edward's mother doesn't want to hear about your… talents."

Rose starts giggling and Tanya grins. But it's Esme who levels me with a glare and an evil smirk. "Bella. I walked in on you riding my son's face. Let's not pretend she's the only one here with… talents."

"WHAT?" My best friends yell in unison.

Esme then tells them the sordid story in explicit detail as my alleged friends cackle evilly. _Fuck my life._

~~IYR~~

The ride over to the bar consists of more boozing and waxing intellectual on all things plastic and pleasuring. I have to admit, Tanya's has some really good ideas. She also has illustrations. A couple of months ago, I happened upon a notebook of cock drawings. All I could think of was Jonah Hill from the movie _Superbad_. Who knew it was a notebook full of dildo and vibrator prototypes.

My phone vibrates with an incoming text from Edward. _Too busy getting a lap dance from Gunther to call your boyfriend?_

Ugh, I fucking wish I was getting a lap dance. I smile as I text him back. _Sorry babe, we are riding in a limo WITH YOUR MOM to see Gunther._

A split second later he responds. _Oh nooooo._

Share the pain sweetie. _Oh yes. And she and Tanya have BFF anklets since they both LUV sex toys._

Three minutes later he responds, he must have had to vomit. _Oh God._

Laughing I text him back. _Look on the bright side; I know what to get her for her birthday next month. _

My phone vibrates with his response. _U R evil. Come over after the show. I miss you_

I can't help but smile. _I'll B there. Miss you too_

The bar is packed, fortunately or unfortunately, as Esme has a VIP table reserved near the stage. Shit is about to get real.

Esme is waving to random society types in the crowd, telling me their names as she points and tries to get their attention. I smile and nod at them as she points to me and mouths my name to them. Apparently she does talk about me non-stop. One particular pair of socialites need more acknowledgement than a wave and head nod as they make their way over to the table. The elder blond is small and lithe with brilliant blue eyes and ice blonde hair. The only thing that is slightly out of place on her is the ginormous set of cans she is sporting. Seriously, her husband must have picked the amount of CC's strapped to her chest. The only other thing I find unsettling is that the tall, blonde, statuesque doppelganger following behind her is none other than Heidi Hunter.

Esme stumbles slightly as she stands up to greet her friend, "Janie, there you are!"

The petite blonde hugs her tightly, "Hi Esme! Heidi and I were hoping to get a better seat but it looks like your table is full." She hints hopefully. _Shut her down, Esme, shut her down!_

Esme nods her head mechanically to Heidi with a tight smile on her face. "Yes, Bella and I decided to have a girl's night tonight. OH!" She pauses, "Forgive my manners, allow me introduce everyone."

"Rose, Tanya," She acknowledges each of them with a wave of her hand, "This is Jane and Heidi Hunter."

Rose and Tanya give them a smile and a small wave, as do Jane and Heidi. Apparently neither Rose nor Heidi choose to acknowledge the fact that they are in the same sorority. _Sisterhood indeed._

"And this," Esme says hugging the tops of my forearms smiling genuinely, "is our Bella."

For a brief moment, Esme is looking at me the same way she looks at Edward when he is playing the piano. Proud, immensely proud. I am guessing that it is her silent way of telling _me_ that she approves. It is also her silent way of telling Heidi that the party is over.

Looking away from Esme, I smile at Jane and Heidi. "It's so nice to meet you both."

Jane gives me a soft smile and extends her hand to shake mine. Heidi steps forward and does the same. Her smile is also gentle which is quite unexpected based on Lauren's behavior towards me on her behalf.

"It's great to finally meet you, Bella." She says, speaking softly. "Edward talks about you all the time."

I admit I am immediately suspicious about that statement, trying to decipher if she is just being kind or if she is hinting that she and Edward are in constant contact.

She steps closer to me, kind smile still in place. "So, have you been to one of these before?"

I smile and nod as everyone takes a seat. Apparently she wants to make small talk throughout the entire show as I am sandwiched between Heidi and Esme and a chorus line of banana hammocks. Tanya and Esme are insane smacking the dancers' ass cheeks and making it rain George Washington's. Rose and Jane bring their own brand of embarrassment shouting crazy things like "shake that ass" or "let me see that dick slang". Heidi and I sit back laughing at their lunacy. _Is it wrong that I am disappointed that she isn't a total hag? _

After two more rounds of shots and three texts from Edward telling me to come home, I finally call a cab and say my goodbyes since Esme and the girls are showing no signs of stopping their drinking, harassing strippers or otherwise. As a matter of fact, Tanya says her goodbyes and jumps on stage to hose down a sexy fireman.

Esme on the other hand spends a good five minutes holding me and telling me how much she adores me and how happy I make Edward. I can't help but notice Heidi in my periphery. Her expression is even, but off, maybe calculating or possibly she is constipated. I don't know, I am shit-faced and I can't wait to get home to Edward's room.

Once Esme releases me, I hug my goodbyes to the rest of the girls, even Heidi which is surprising since she is stone cold sober. Speaking quietly as she pulls me close, she tells me again that it is a pleasure to meet me finally.

I am feeling all warm and fuzzy until she finishes with, "Tell Edward I will see him soon."

What the fuck does that mean? I spend the majority of the cab ride mulling it over and trying not to pass out. By the time the cab pulls up to Edward's, I am no closer to a conclusion on her cryptic message to Edward. No matter, I am hammered and horny. I giggle as I send a text to Edward telling him to open the back door for me.

Leaning against the doorway, he gives me his signature crooked smirk as I drunkenly stagger towards him. Pulling me close, he mouths the word _hi_ before placing his lips on mine for a steamy kiss. My body reacts in an instant, whore autopilot sequence commencing in 3, 2, 1.

Seeking the upper-hand I clutch his shirt in my fists and push him back until the back of his knees hit a kitchen chair. _It's my turn to smirk now, Cullen. _As he falls back into the chair, I pounce, straddling him and kissing him senseless. Our kisses are sloppy on my part and deep and urgent on his. His hands are gripping my thighs, trying to contain my movements against the bulge in his pants that is growing more prominent by the second. I feel wild and wanton as I grip the nape of his neck and fist a handful of his hair.

"Bella," He says between kisses, his voice rough with want, "Bella, hey. Let's take this to my room."

I release his hair as I run my tongue along his jaw, not quite ready to get off of him yet. I grab his bottom lip lightly with my teeth and gently shake my head before sucking it into my mouth and releasing it with a pop. His eyes are pleading with me to let him take me downstairs as I begin to roll and grind my hips over his erection. And suddenly in my drunken stupor, I get a brilliant idea.

"Ah, shit. Bella." He moans as I reach down to unbutton his jeans and rub his shaft through his underwear. "Bella, come on. Let's go, baby."

I stand up only to slowly drop to my knees as I drag my nails down his chest. My eyes are on his as I taunt him with lingering stokes under his boxer briefs.

"Seriously Bella," He pants, his voice shaky, "let's go to my room."

I give him a pout and look up at him through my lashes. I can't explain why the thought of blowing him in the kitchen seems so appealing to me. It could be my inner whore looking for a cheap thrill or maybe I should just blame it on the alcohol. I happen to know that the boys all went out for St. Patrick's Day. More than likely they are getting sloshed on green beer and listening to The Dropkick Murphy's. _Where's your sense of adventure, Cullen._

I am not sure if it is the pout or the fact that I am still stroking him though his boxer briefs, but he concedes throwing his head back, shutting his eyes and muttering something about me being such a good girl. I giggle with glee as I pull back his underwear and watch as his cock springs into action.

"Unleash the Kraken!" My inner Liam Niesen shouts… aloud. _Shit, I said that out loud_.

Edward looks down at me with a proud, playful smirk. I suppose my pet name for his manhood pleases him. I mean, who wouldn't want their dick to be likened to a Norwegian sea monster. But his silent celebration is short lived because we hear a huge guffaw coming from the refrigerator. There stands Jake eating a sandwich in a pair of tube socks and tighty whities laughing his ass off.

"The Kraken," He snickers with his mouth full. _Gross._

Hoisting myself off the floor, I huff in Jake's direction giving him the stink-eye for not making his presence known. Practically snarling, I decide that Mr. Black needs a good dressing down.

"What the fuck, Jacob! Why you gotta cockblock, huh?" I yell throwing my arms out at my sides like I'm about to step to him.

I must have appeared menacing because I notice that Jake's toothy smile is a little less cocky and a little more concerned. _Yeah, that's right Jakey; put those chicklet size teeth away. _Not only that, but Edward decides to intervene by picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Come on tough nuts, let's get you to bed." He says smacking and grabbing a handful of my ass.

Carrying me down the stairs I play his ass cheeks like a set of bongos as we hit each step. Opening the door, he tosses me onto the chaise lounge with a clear, concise directive.

"Strip."

_Now that's what I'm talking about. _I sit up to set a new Olympic record for clothes removal as I kick off my shoes and peel myself out of my skinny jeans. By the time I have my shirt over my head, Edward is waiting patiently, completely nude with the mother of all boners in my face. I swear his dick must have a tractor beam on it because I immediately pull him forward to wrap my lips around it. Seizing the back of my head, he resumes his earlier position of throwing his head back and shutting his eyes. The only difference is that I can hear every word he is saying.

"Fuck, yes!" He growls as I take him all the way to the back of my throat.

He pulls my head back slowly and I make sure to lightly run my teeth up the length of his shaft. Reaching his tip I swirl my tongue over it and release it with a pop. Teasing him now, I flatten my tongue and begin running it slowly up and down his shaft.

He looks down at me, smiling out the side of his mouth. "You teasing me, baby doll?" He questions me coyly.

I answer with a few quick flicks over his head all while I continue to jack him slowly. He laughs humorlessly shaking his head slightly.

"You shouldn't have done that." He warns yanking me off the chaise and taking my place.

He pulls me down to straddle him, positioning himself to enter. He eyes me one more time mischievously before he thrusts upward, pushing himself deep inside me. I swear I hear the tip of his cock give a little 'how do you do' to the top of my uterus and winks at my ovaries.

I let him set the pace since I am not necessarily coordinated or sober enough to control the movements of my body. Every now and again, I grind down a little harder or roll my hips, but it's hard to do with him gripping said hips and dictating my every move. I'm already so close, the only thing that may surely take me over the edge are the filthy things he's whispering in my ear.

"You like ridin' my cock, baby?" He asks as he watches me sliding up and down him.

I'm certain the question is rhetorical, but I can't help but nod. Leaning his head forward, he presses his face in my cleavage, taking the opportunity to nip and suck my breasts as they bounce in front of him.

"Fuck you're tight, baby." He grunts as I squeeze and constrict my inner walls around him. "Get on your knees, beautiful!"

I slide off his lap and climb onto the chaise on my hands and knees. Turning my head over my shoulder, I give him a dubious smirk and an ass wiggle. He responds in kind with an ass slap on one cheek and a nip to the tender flesh of the other. Running his tongue up my spine, he spreads my legs and pulls my hips up to his desired height. I feel his tip at my opening just as he places his lips near my ear.

"Hold on tight, baby," He warns as I pull myself up on the arm of the chaise.

I only have a split second to process his warning before he is inside of me again. Every thrust is powerful and swift as he takes instantaneous command of my body. Closing my eyes, I savor the intense pleasure as I near my release.

Pounding into me frantically, I can feel Edward approaching his climax as well. He grunts deeply as he wraps my hair in his hands, pulling my top half up and arching my back almost painfully. I sneak a quick peek behind me to see that his eyes are watching himself going in and out of my body. He licks his lips and tightens his jaw as he slams in one last time before I feel him go rigid, releasing inside of me. The way he throws his head back and moans a loud 'fuck' is all I need to be sent over the edge. Collapsing onto the chaise below, I try to catch my breath. Edward is adjusting himself to lie next to me, rubbing his hands over my back side and grabbing it occasionally. That gets me to thinking.

"Edward," I say trying to get his attention.

"Hmm," He replies absently, his eyes still following his hand on my ass.

"Do you, uh. Do you miss anal or something?" I ask, closing my eyes, half embarrassed and half praying he won't say yes.

When I finally open my eyes to face him I can tell that he is taken aback by my question. He looks quite puzzled with his brow furrowed and his jaw tight.

"Where did that come from? I mean, why would you ask me that?"

Noting that he doesn't answer my question, I instantly regret bringing it up all together.

"Well. I met Heidi tonight. She was there with her mom and she sat with us." I reply as if the connection is obvious, but apparently it isn't.

"And…" He prods.

"And I just remember you said that you walked in on her, you know, with, you know." _Jeez Bella, so articulate._

He nods apparently understanding that _you know_ means 'getting fucked in the ass by Royce'.

Unfortunately he is still looking at me like I have a third nipple. Starting from the beginning, I tell him about my first impressions of her. Like how she is just like Mary Poppins – practically perfect in every way. I even admit how I am completely shocked that she was super nice and chatting with me the entire time. Then I tell him about her questionable comments and deliver her 'see you soon' message to him. I am secretly relieved when he rolls his eyes.

"Other than the whole cryptic remark thing, is it wrong that I am a little disappointed that she isn't the 'see you next Tuesday' I thought she was?" I ask, while spelling out the word with my fingers that I dare never say. "She's beautiful and lovely and the fact that she does anal, it just, ugh, makes me crazy." I confess.

Edward is still quiet, looking at me like I have truly lost my mind which at that point, I do. Sitting up, I wrap my arms around my knees and square my shoulders.

"Like how do I compete with that? Huh? I mean, I'll bet my bottom dollar that she is always down for 'what, what,' in the butt all the time. Isn't she?" I ask expectantly.

But before he can answer the question, I feel it necessary to clarify my previous statement. "There are levels, Edward. Okay? There are levels of anal. Like normal girls who do anal are like 'oh, it's your birthday? Let's do anal.' Or 'oh, you got a promotion? Let's do anal.' "

Practically snarling now, I continue my rant, "But not girls like her, Edward! No sir. She is the rare anal unicorn. She's the kind of girl who on a random Tuesday night you can turn to and say, 'Hey baby, Law and Order: SVU is on commercial, grab your ankles'."

I hate that my blazing insecurity gets the best of me. I hate that he can see me so vulnerable. And I hate that I drank so much because if I would have had a few less shots, my boyfriend wouldn't be laughing his ass off at me right now.

"Bella, baby," He says as he pulls me into his arms, "You have no reason to worry about her."

He strokes my cheek reassuringly as angry drunken tears fall down my face. "You must think I'm crazy." I sputter as I suck the snot back up my nostrils.

Kissing my temple he whispers sweet things in my ear. "You are crazy, Bella. But I think that I love the fact that you are certifiably insane. You are hilarious although I think you should talk to someone about the amount of time you attribute to your anal theories. But aside from that, you are my best friend." He looks at me longingly before adding, "Which will always be better than butt sex."

He leads me to his bed, pulls the covers over me and snuggles up behind me. I sigh as I feel the warmth of his body next to mine. About three things, I am absolutely certain of. One, I will never, ever, ever drink again so long as I live. Two, that number one is a total lie. And three, I am head over heels in love with Edward Cullen. _Now if only I could find the balls to tell him._

* * *

**A/N… Aww... Lucky gal - nothing says lovin' like being told you are better than butt sex...**

**The comic book store bit was my nod and wink to one of my favorite fics - Bubble Gum & Spiderman by CullensTwiMistress. She is another one of the fandom's finest! If you haven't read it yet - hop on the good foot and do the bad thing - it's good stuff, dolls!**

**Thanks so much to everyone for all of the love this story is receiving! A kind curtsey to all who have read, reviewed, followed, faved and lurked this fic! Happy New Year all - be safe!**


	17. Chapter 17 - Have A Little Faith In Me

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Hmm... Who here likes Edward? *LAHM counts hands* All of us? Good. Who here likes when he gets a little possessive and crazy? I guess we shall see...**

* * *

Chapter 17 – Have A Little Faith in Me

Tonight is my first late shift at the library. It's 9:30 pm and I only have 30 minutes left. I am still not entirely comfortable here since my run in with Alec, Paul and Bongwater awhile back. To say that I am hyperaware of my surroundings would be an understatement for sure. As I go to place the last book on the shelf, I read the title and start chuckling a bit. The Analects of Confucius is the title, however, my eyes only seem to focus on four letters: a n a l.

Edward is enjoying himself immensely giving me all kinds of hell about my butt sex hypothesis rant a few nights ago . I remember waking the following morning after said rant with a massive hangover as he hands me a glass of water, two aspirin and the name and email address of some doctor. My eyes widen because I am not sure if he is telling me that I need to seek help for real, like maybe for my drinking or my undiagnosed Tourrette's syndrome. I raise my brow expectantly, needing an explanation. He just laughs and tells me that it is a contact at the Kinsey Institute for me to submit my anal research findings to. _Nerd alert_. Thank goodness for my fondness of Liam Niesen movies, otherwise I would have no clue that he was talking about a sex research institute and I wouldn't have come up with the amazing name for his cock. He really should thank me.

Ever since then he is constantly looking for ways to mess with me. Example, my cell phone. The boy changes my ringtone to a new song about butts just about every single day. I swear, the man is stealthy, because I never seem to notice him doing it. So far this week he has set it to _Rumpshaker, Bootylicious_, and _Back That Azz Up_. Yesterday, he set it sometime during our Human Sexuality class. I know this because while speaking to Dr. Banner about an assignment, Sir Mix A lot interrupts the conversation to notify all in earshot that 'I like big butts and I cannot lie'. I am certain that the bitch brow I leveled at him was a solid eleven on a one to ten scale of scary as fuck.

After placing the book on the appropriate shelf, I raise my arms over my head to stretch. There are only a few students left lingering around, so I make my way around the tables to collect the remaining books.

"Hey stranger!" says a familiar voice.

I turn around and find a very exhausted looking Mike. His hair is all over the place and his eyes look tired. There are books strewn all over the table, it appears he is trying to play catch up. But his smile, his smile is still as warm as ever and I can't help but smile back.

"Hey Mike." I say softly, slipping easily into our relaxed and comfortable rapport, "How goes it?"

"As good as can be expected, I guess." He shrugs and looks down "Dad's getting good care and my mom is hopeful, so we've got that going for us." He tries for another dazzling smile but it doesn't reach his eyes.

His father is receiving treatment here in Seattle. I've spoken to his mom on more than one occasion. As a matter of fact, I am going to have lunch with her tomorrow. I am looking forward to seeing her. For all intents and purposes, she's really the only mother figure I've had in years. My mom is, well, she is something else. The only thing I am not looking forward to is the whole 'hey, I have a new boyfriend, wanna hear all about him' discussion. Talk about uncomfortable.

I nod and pull my lip between my thumb and forefinger, unsure of what to say.

"Mom's pretty excited about your little lunch date tomorrow." He says wagging his eyebrows. "But don't worry; I took the bullet for you. I told her about Jess and Edward so you don't have to have that awkward conversation with her."

I shake my head and laugh. "Get out of my head, Sookie Stackhouse! How did you know I was absolutely dreading that conversation?"

He leans back in his chair and places his hands behind his head cockily. "You forget how well I know you, B. You have three tells." He informs me lifting three fingers to tick off as he lists them. "One, the lip bite which means you're horny. Two, the lip pull with your fingers means that you're worrying, and three, the Charlie Swan chin."

I give him a dramatic eye roll and pull up a chair because I am sure I am going to need a seat for this bullshit. "Enlighten me, what is the Charlie Swan chin?"

He sits up in his chair rubbing his hands together. "It's this look you get when you are angry or annoyed. It's like you jut out your chin and purse your lips all bitchy-like." He says while scrunching his lips and pushing out his neck and chin. "You like to bust this little gem out when you are being stubborn and refuse to discuss something. Or when you are mad as hell. I gotta tell ya', B. It used to drive me crazy and not in a good way."

He looks like a scowling, angry duck. Is that what my mad face looks like? _Shit, I'll need to work on that. _

"I do not look like that!" I defend incredulously.

"Yes, you do!" He assures me, while making the face and shimmying his shoulders with a little more sass than necessary.

We both start quietly cackling, we are in a library after all.

"So you and Jess made it official?" I ask timidly since I am not sure if we have hit the comfortable point in our friendship that we can openly discuss our new significant others without it getting awkward.

He nods and smiles. _My God, he is blushing_.

He leans back once again. "Yeah. We're… She's… She's just awesome, B!" He gushes, "Seriously, she has really been there for me though all of this. She's great."

I place my chin in my hands and my elbows on the table. His smile is absolutely contagious and I can't help but be ecstatic for my deliriously happy friend even though I think that his new lady love might be a bad day from an episode of _Snapped_.

"How about you and Cullen, huh? I can tell it's going well, it's written all over your face, girl!"

I sigh dreamily and confirm with a nod of my head that we are a _we_ and a very good one at that.

"I never got the chance to thank you and/or him for that matter for, uh, you know, getting Dad in with Dr. Eleazar. That was really decent of him."

"Edward's dad got the consultation for him; they are golf buddies or something." I shrug as I had nothing to do with this.

"Yeah, I met his dad. Good guy. He stopped in to see my dad while he was getting his treatment. At that point, I had to spill the beans on Edward, and I figured it was a good segue into telling the 'rents about Jess as well."

I don't recall Carlisle never mentioning that he looked in on Senior. I may adore the good doctor even more.

Closing time was approaching, so I tell Mike I have to finish up. Standing up, he begins collecting the books from the table.

"Let me take care of this. You need to get home and get some sleep." I tell him, giving him a slap on the back and pushing him toward the door.

Snickering and shaking his head he smiles at me as he gives me a short wave and pulls his backpack over his shoulder as he heads out the door. Sorting and stacking his books into my cart, I hear footsteps approaching. Mike must have forgotten something. As I turn to ask him what he left behind, I notice Alec sauntering towards me wearing his signature cocky smirk.

"Well, hello there, Bell-a," He says smoothly drawing out my name.

_Disgusting. _I give him a curt nod as I turn back around and reach for the last of the reference books on the table, hoping that he will pass.

"Loving the view," He whispers in my ear as I feel his hand ghost across my lower back.

I straighten up abruptly and back up into my cart. The smirk on his face is now a full on leer.

"The library is closing. You need to leave." I say, trying to keep my voice impassive to match my aloof expression. This causes his grin to widen; perhaps I need to work on my poker face as well.

He advances ever so slightly and places the book in my cart as he did weeks before. His eyes rake over my body as he leans in and I simultaneously shrink back into the cart. This is clearly the reaction he was hoping for. With a creepy wink and a perverted lick of his lips, he gives me a lazy salute.

"Always good to see you, Bella," He taunts as he retreats, still leering as if he is seeing me naked or something.

I can feel the bile bubbling up my throat. I want to race to the nearest bathroom and empty the contents of my stomach. My hands shake slightly as I gather the last of the books in the area and make my way to the backroom to drop off the cart for the evening. I back the cart in through the door just as a smirking Lauren is exiting. Her grin becomes infinitely wider when she notices me coming through the door.

"My-oh-my, you sure are popular with the boys, aren't you bookworm!" She sneers as she crosses her arms over her chest. "Wouldn't Edward love to know just how popular you are?"

For the second time this evening, I have difficulty keeping my face from betraying my emotions, which happen to be all over the place tonight. Everything in my body is begging me to do something crazy like turnaround and motherfuck her, or throw a book at her boob and laugh as her implant bursts. But I can't because I was born without a set of balls, literally and figuratively. So instead, I go all Rosalie Hale on her. Whipping around, I throw her my best bitch brow and mimic her posture with my arms folded over my chest.

"Aww, Lauren. What has got ya' in such a sour mood, sweet-pea? Is it the raging case of the herp the basketball team gave you flaring up again?"

Her eyes widen at the sharpness of my tone, and then narrow considerably as she realizes what I said to her. I fully expect her to come back with a witty or bitchy retort. Instead, she throws up a middle finger in my direction as she quietly exits the room.

I breathe a sigh of relief that our barb trading didn't turn into a full on altercation as I grab my coat and clock out. I give a wave to Harry, the security officer who is beginning his rounds on this floor as I make my way to the elevator.

I am still on edge over the Alec and Lauren encounters. I just need to get the fuck out of here. The eerie calm and quiet of the library has me jittery and uneasy for some reason. I quicken my pace as I near the elevator. I am nearly there when I feel someone's arm wrap around my waist and across my chest as I am pulled into an adjunct office and the door is shut behind me. I open my mouth to scream and desperately try to remember the self-defense lessons that my dad insisted Rose and I take upon our acceptance into U-Dub.

"Ssshhh, baby." Edward coos in my ear as I hear him lock the door behind us.

_Sweet relief_. "Christ, Edward. You scared the shit out of me!" I cry as I turn around, nestle into his chest and wrap my arms around his waist.

My heart is beating wildly and I can't stop the trembling in my hands or the quivering of my lips. I have half a mind to run to the restroom and check my panties for skid marks because my boyfriend may have literally just scared the shit out of me.

"Were you expecting someone else?" He asks as he backs me up until I am pinned between him and the door.

I shake my head against his chest, just as Edward places his hands in my hair and tugs it slightly to the left so he can nuzzle my neck. He is breathing deeply through his nose. It sounds like he is getting himself worked up, in both a good way and a bad way. Just as I am about to open my mouth to ask him what's wrong, I feel his hand sliding down the front of my leggings and into my panties. I gasp slightly as his fingers slide my panties over and he roughly rubs them over my center.

"You're not wet, baby." He says with a small crooked smile and just a hint of surprise coloring his voice. "You wanna know why you aren't wet, Bella?" He asks as he continues running three fingers along my slit.

He begins rubbing harder, circling quickly and teasing my entrance with his middle finger. I nod my head absently, although I am curious where he is going with his line of questioning.

"Because she knows who she belongs to."

And with that, Edward's mouth quickly covers mine with a fervent kiss. This kiss is different. It's passionate in every sense of the word, but there is a hint of desperation lingering there as well. There is a purpose to this kiss. It's meant to silence. It's meant to control. His words play back through my head. _Because she knows who she belongs to. _He must have run into that bitch, Lauren. She must have told him about my uncomfortable encounter with Alec.

He continues to kiss me deeply. Even in the confusion of the situation, my body is unswerving in its allegiance to his command as I can hear his fingers working over the moisture forming in my core. Abruptly he removes his fingers and firmly picks me up by my ass to walk me over to the large metal desk and places me on top of it. I hear the metal pop and whine under my weight. Edward collapses into the rolling office chair and pulls himself forward between my legs.

"Edward, we…" I stutter as he starts bunching the front of my shirt up. "We can't do this here. I'll lose my…"

"Please, don't." He says quietly, all authority gone from his voice as he lays his head on my lap. "Don't deny me this, Bella. You have no idea. No clue as to how crazy I feel right now. How fucking out of control I feel when it comes to you."

"Edwa…" I try to interrupt, but am immediately silenced as his head snaps up and I see the crazed look in his eye. With a severe expression on his face he stands slowly and places his lips against my neck.

"I trust you, Bella. I swear I do." He promises emphatically as he skims my jaw with his nose. "But standing there, watching you fuckin' laugh and smile and joke with him. It makes me sick. I fuckin' hate it, Bella." He ends with a snarl before latching his mouth against my throat, sucking hard.

He slowly pulls my shirt over my head and tosses it to the floor. Flipping my hair over my opposite shoulder he repeats his previous steps on my throat and collarbone.

"I can't stand that there is someone out there who might know you better than me." He admits as he draws my bra strap down and sucks on my shoulder. "It kills me to think that there may be someone who you care for more than me."

His confession guts me. How could he possibly think that I could ever want anyone more than him?

I close my eyes and tilt my head back as he runs his scruff and his tongue across my chest. I gasp as he lowers my other strap, grazing my breast as he pulls the cup of my bra down. My face and chest flush scarlet as he sucks my nipple into his mouth.

"I want to be the only one who can make you blush like that, Bella." He mutters into my cleavage as he reaches around to unclasp my bra, letting it fall into my lap. "The only one you need." He continues.

His voice is rough and gritty with want as his fingertips gently trail down my back.

"You are, Edward!" I pant as I feel his thumbs slip under the waist of my leggings and panties. "Only you…"

He claims my mouth again, sucking my bottom lip into his before releasing and running his tongue over it. He rests his forehead against mine with his eyes closed, breathing deeply.

"Show me, Bella." He commands as he pulls my pants and underwear down my legs. "Show me that you're mine."

And so I do.

I place my lips against his eagerly. With trembling fingers, I fumble with his belt buckle, button and zipper. I smile against his lips once I have him freed and slide the offending articles down his legs. Stomping them off of his feet, he kicks them near the pile of our clothes.

As he moves to lift his shirt over his head, I lean in to place my tongue on his chest. I taste and tease and tempt his nipple, while gently running my fingernails over his abs. I can feel his dick resting near my hip. It's as hard as a rock as it strains and slowly inches toward my center.

He eases me gently back on the cold metal of the desk. I shiver slightly, but I am not sure if it is from the surface or the fact that he is reacquainting his fingers with my vaginal walls. I cannot take my eyes off of him as he stands over me, gloriously naked and working me over with a fierce and focused expression.

I want him. I want to feel him inside of me. I want to reassure him that he has all of me, every part of me. Fear holds me back from saying what he probably needs to hear the most – that I love him. So I will show him how I feel. So he will know without a shadow of doubt. Leaning forward, I seize the back of his head by his hair and pull him in for a searing kiss.

I spread my legs wide as I lay back and scoot to the edge so he can take full advantage of my offering. He unconsciously licks his lips and rubs his cock a couple of times before placing it right where I need him the most. His eyes meet mine, silently letting me know that this won't be gentle. I reassure him gently with the one word that he needs to hear.

"Yours."

And with that one word, Edward thrusts into me as deeply as he can go. He grabs the back of my knees to keep me spread wide. The metal of the desk below me is loud and echoing throughout the room each time he slams into me. I am worried that someone may hear and come to investigate. But not even the thought of jail time for performing a lewd and lascivious act can make me ask him to stop. His pace is frantic. Fast and hard, his hips piston wildly. A strangled groan escapes his lips.

"Touch yourself, baby doll." He orders with a quick jerk of his chin towards my chest, never slowing his pace even for a second.

And like his good girl, I obey his instruction as I lean up on my elbows and place a hand over each of my breasts. I let my hands linger there for a few seconds before I begin to squeeze the flesh. I let my thumbs run over my nipples until they are almost painfully hard and straining upward. For the first time since he pulled me into this room to have his way with me, Edward smiles. He smiles my favorite crooked smile. It lets me know that he loves what I'm doing. He relishes my need to please him, to reassure him of my feelings for him and my loyalty to him alone.

We both look down to where we are joined and watch as his cock slides in and out of me. I ache for him to touch me. Feeling brave, I lean up and lick the shell of his ear before I issue a directive of my own.

"Baby, I want you to go sit in that chair for me." I say as I push gently against his chest.

He closes his eyes, continuing to rapidly penetrate me deeply. _Hmm. It seems he requires more encouragement._

"Baby, I want you to go sit down in that chair." I try again before asking with a seductive purr, "Come on, Edward. Don't you want me to show you I'm yours?"

He nods and releases my legs as he staggers backwards to the rolling desk chair. I hop off the desk and position myself over his lap. Using the arms of the chair for leverage, I push up and slowly lower myself down his shaft.

I feel his pubic bone against my ass and I know that he is in as far as he can go. I close my eyes and savor the feeling of fullness I experience in this position. Edward scoops up each of my breasts and smashes them together, running his tongue back and forth over my nipples. I have to bite my lip to keep myself from moaning.

I alternate between bouncing and rolling and grinding all over his cock. My arms are burning from pulling my weight up and down, over and over again. _Perhaps Tanya is on to something with the strength training she does three times a week. _I continue to ride him for a few more minutes, until he decides to take over once more.

"Lean back, baby." He says as he gently eases me backwards.

"Don't worry, I've got you." He reassures me as he must see the panic in my eyes that I am going to fall backwards.

And so I let him. I let him take what he needs, how he needs it.

His climax is looming. I can feel the slight tremble in his legs beneath me. I can see the growing tension in his jaw as it approaches. Mine is near as well. We frantically race towards it together. Our thrusts grow impatient and become jerky. I grab my hair in my hands tightly at the roots. I don't know why but for some reason I need the pain to balance the pleasure that is sure to consume us both. I latch my mouth to his neck as he roughly impales me over his cock once, twice, three times before he releases inside of me. Moments later my world shatters as my climax takes me, us.

I shut my eyes tightly as I try to focus on his deep, labored breathing and the rapid beating of his heart against my hand. The only other sound in the room is the hum of the fluorescent light above us. After several minutes, I detach myself from his body and we both quietly dress.

Thank goodness for cold and flu season because the office has a full stock of Clorox wipes in one of the two-drawer filing cabinets. I make quick work of wiping off the desk and the faux-leather chair. We exit the room looking all around, hoping that Harry is still doing his rounds in another area of the library. We opt to take the stairs, running down them as fast as we can and practically sprint to the exit. Once our feet hit the pavement of the quad, I know that I have to put my big girl panties on and address this situation.

"Edward," I start nervously, wrapping my arm around his elbow as we cross the quad, "I think we need to talk."

He continues to walk, looking out into the distance, focusing on anything other than me. "About what?" He asks indifferently.

_Is he really going to make me spell it out for him? _"What do you mean 'about what' – you know exactly what we need to discuss." I bristle in annoyance, "What was all that about back there?"

He rolls his eyes out of sheer aggravation and quickens his stride, essentially dragging me with no indication that he is going to speak on the matter. I feel physically hot as anger colors my features. As we approach his house, I crane my neck to see who is home in the makeshift driveway off of the alley. I don't see any cars which is unfortunate for Edward because shit is about to get real.

I stomp down his stairs and rip open his door. I happen to catch a glimpse of myself as I go to perch on his desk with my arms across my chest, the universal sign for 'I mean business'. I am sad to say that Mike was indeed correct; I do look like an angry duck. I try to twist my features so I look a little less ridiculous. He strolls in and gingerly shuts the door before he flops down onto the chaise. He's leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his hands clasped tightly. His face is the mask of utter indifference.

"What brought it on, Edward?" I demand to know, digging right in.

"I thought we covered this at the library." He deflects masterfully.

"No, you told me you had a problem with me being tight with Mike. But this isn't a one-time thing, Edward. Remember how you lost your shit when you saw me speaking to those douche nozzles? If you go nuclear over seeing me have a friendly chat with a friend, you would be positively homicidal if you saw the run-in I had with Alec this evening." I goad him, admittedly trying to elicit a reaction.

His head snaps up and boy is he angry. Mask of indifference gone. Mission accomplished.

"Tell me what he said to you." He insists in a low tone of voice that makes me want to obey immediately, and maybe mount him a little as well.

I shake my head. "I am going to ask you one more time, Edward. Tell me what I did to set you off."

Rubbing his finger tips over his forehead, he snaps. "Nothing! Okay? It's nothing."

I slam my hands against the top of his desk and stomp like a 4 year-old to the door, but he is off his seat and in front of me before I can even reach the handle. I try to maneuver around him but to no avail.

Trying to grab my hands in his, he pleads with me.

"Just wait a minute, Bella. Just, hold on a second, okay, baby?"

Each time he gets a hold of one hand I rip it from his grasp. "If you aren't going to fucking acknowledge this, I am out of here!" I snarl and punctuate my point with a fierce index finger to his sternum.

He grabs said finger and pulls the entire hand to rest on his chest, his eyes are earnest as he begs, "Please, I don't want to talk about this, it's…"

"Why?" I scream at the top of my lungs and jerk my hand off of his body.

Before the word is completely out of my mouth, Edward explodes, "BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING HUMILIATING!"

Within seconds, he is on the other side of the room, gripping his hair tightly and punting his garbage can into his bookshelf. Pacing now, he begins his explanation, "The entire time, Bella! The entire fucking time I was with her she was cheating. Now, I do realize that you aren't her, Bella. Really, I do. But she did a fucking number on me and it's hard sometimes to let that shit go."

I nod my head in understanding and chew on my lip as I get the nerve up to ask him a question that I am not sure I can handle the answer to. "Do you still care for her, Edward?"

He shakes his head emphatically in the negative. "No. Fuck no. I just hate that I can't just switch it off, you know. I hate that I am always instantly suspicious of everyone and everything. Always feeling like nothing is as it seems. Waiting for the other shoe to drop and shit"

"And what about Alec? What's the story there?" I ask trying to move away from the Heidi topic.

He shrugs and flops back down on the chaise. "I don't know. He's just a dickhead. He has been since high school. We're both pretty competitive with grades and what-not." He explains, but I can tell he is holding something back.

"And…" I press, as he rubs his hands over his face in frustration.

"And, the night I found Heidi with Royce, he was coming out of the room zipping up his fly. The fucker gave me a smile and a wink, Bella. You think I would ever trust him around you?"

We sit in silence for a few minutes, him calming himself and me trying to wrap my head around all of this. It makes sense. I get it, I do. I do know a thing or two about humiliation as well. _And speaking of…_

"And why all the hostility towards Mike? You heard all of the things he said to me in the quad. Hell, you had a front row seat to my humiliation. You know I would never ever go back to him. Ever!" I add to punctuate my point.

"I want to kick his teeth in every time I see him, Bella. That shit he said to you that night…" He trails off shaking his head.

"If you hate him so much then why did you help him?" I ask out of genuine curiosity before adding, "I mean, I am so glad you helped his dad, but why?"

He throws his head back against the top of the chaise. "I don't know, Bella. Because it was the right thing to do. I was in a position to help, and you were all crying your eyes out." He says before turning to me with a guilty smirk, "Or maybe I felt a little bad for trying to poach his girlfriend before you guys broke up…"

I smile back and walk toward him as he holds his hand out to me. He pulls me to him and rests his head on my stomach.

"I swear I won't do that shit anymore, Bella. I trust you completely. I swear it." He promises sincerely.

He looks up at me abruptly; his expression is serious and determined. "I swear I wanted to do this a different way. You deserve so much more than this, Bella. You deserve fucking flowers and candles and Otis or Van playing in the background. You deserve a grand gesture."

"What do you mean?" I ask, not entirely following where this is going.

"I don't know, like me holding a ghetto-blaster above my head playing that Peter Gabriel song from that movie you like or something equally cheesy." He clarifies as he tightens his hold around my waist.

I smile at the very thought that he actually listens and remembers that _Say Anything_ is one of my favorite 80's movie of all time. My fingers ache to run through his hair to soothe and ease his frustration. So I let them. He surprises me though when he pulls them out of his hair and holds them tightly. He starts placing tender kisses on each of them. Finally closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against my stomach.

"I love you, Bella." He declares quietly.

After a few seconds, he opens his eyes and looks up at me through his lashes to gauge my reaction. I am pretty sure my body is flushed pink from head to toe as I can feel his warmth coursing through my veins. I know for a fact that I am smiling like a lunatic as I grab two fistfuls of his hair and kiss the ever-living shit out of him.

"I love you, too, Edward!" I practically yell excitedly as I straddle his lap. "So much! I've been dying to tell you, I just thought it was too soon or something."

"Me too." He says smiling my favorite crooked smirk.

He gives a sigh of relief before he attacks my throat and lips with panty ruining kisses. I close my eyes and silently celebrate our declarations. I wonder how I couldn't see it before, it just seems so obvious.

"Love you, love you, love you…Bella Swan." He whispers reverently as he nuzzles my neck while he gently places me down on the chaise.

He hovers over me with the most breathtaking smile on his face. I mouth the words 'I love you' to him. He mouths them back and places his lips on mine to show me just how much, effectively ending our talk for the evening.

* * *

**A/N… Awww... He loves her! He loves her! And now that we have that out of the way - let's get back to the inappropriate and awkward fun with a Spring Break road trip... **

**Tonight's library lemon is my salute to a fan-fiction classic by one of the fandom's very best. Room 15 by Coldplaywhore. This was one of the very first fics that I read. It features one of the hottest, dirty mouth Edwards in the fandom, a super strong and sarcastic Bella and epic banter to boot. If you haven't read this gem yet, hop on over to an Archive of Our Own and check it out! **

**Many thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, and lurked this fic! See you all next Thursday!**


	18. Chapter 18 - Crazy Love

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word _erection_ used repeatedly…**

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**So… Who's up for a road trip?**

* * *

Chapter 18 – Crazy Love

In love. Edward and I are blissfully, passionately, and out of our minds, crazy in love. I can't put my finger on it, but after saying those three words something between us shifted. The intensity of each touch, each smile, and each kiss is exponentially elevated. This is the high. It's the highest high. The high I've been searching for. It's the perfect balance of love, intimacy, and friendship. Surely _this_ is as good as it gets.

It is physically painful to pull myself out of his arms so I can make my lunch date with Karen. I am meeting her at a small restaurant near the hospital while Senior receives treatment. In the meantime, Edward will pick up his parent's Suburban as it is Spring Break and the guys are magically whisking us ladies away to sunny… Vancouver.

As I pull up my leggings, his arms wrap around my waist and he begins sprinkling tiny, reverent kisses down my neck and shoulders.

"Babe, I gotta go…" I squeal as his hands slide up to cover my breasts.

Edward hums audibly in my ear, squeezes my jugs once more and then releases me with one last loud kiss on the cheek. "Fine. We'll pick you girls up at three o'clock."

I nod and turn around to give him one last smooch good-bye, which naturally turns into a 10 minute groping session - not that I have a problem with that.

~~IYR~~

Although Mike spilled the beans on my new boyfriend, I am still quite nervous to see Karen. Her being a mother figure to me is no exaggeration. I see her immediately as I arrive at the restaurant. She is up and has me in her arms within seconds. There is just something about a mother's embrace. I let her warmth wash over me as memories flood my mind. She and I drinking hot chocolate at the football game as we cheer for Mike. Her careful instruction as she teaches me how to sew a simple hem. Her beaming smile as I receive my diploma and her teary eyes as she pulls away from dropping us off at college.

We get right down to business, catching up on small town gossip. Evidently, old Mrs. Cope let the cat out of the bag about the newest town scandal after getting loaded at the VFW Fish Fry. Mrs. Cope is the President of the Forks Gardening Club, the treasurer and secretary of the Forks Soroptimists Club, and all around Perez Hilton of the Pacific-Northwest. Apparently, after a few cans of Vitamin R, the cold beverage of choice for any self-respecting citizen of Forks, Washington, Mrs. Cope let it slip that old Dr. Gerandy is playing doctor with a young miss who isn't his missus. Allegedly, my father, the chief, had to break up a domestic disturbance at the Gerandy residence. And by disturbance I mean Dr. Gerandy being beaten about the head and neck with a coffee pot on his front lawn.

She tells me all about the treatment that Senior is receiving and how wonderful and attentive Dr. Eleazar and Dr. Aro's staff are towards him. Dr. Aro is taking over his treatment for the next few weeks as Dr. Eleazar is on holiday in Europe. She tells me again how grateful she is that they are able to work with their practice and with a quirked brow she sips her iced tea; I know that she's about to poke the elephant in the room.

"So, Mike tells me that you and Edward are official now." She says as she pulls her lips into a sly side smile.

I can feel my face flush with happiness and just a hint of unease. I can't help the smile that crosses my face when I think of him. Since I am not sure it's entirely appropriate for me to gush all about my new boyfriend to my ex-boyfriend's mom, I go the less articulate route with a shy head nod.

She takes another sip of her tea and places it down gently and reassuringly pats the back of my hand on the table. "I am happy for you, Bella."

"Thanks." I say softly before taking a sip of my water.

"Mike tells me that he is a pre-med student." She prompts encouraging me to open up.

"He is. He thinks he wants to be a surgeon, but is unsure if he will specialize or not." I reply.

She must be able to tell that I am ready to burst at the thought of talking about the boy I love – so I do. I tell her how wonderful and smart and loving he is. I speak enthusiastically about how much I adore Dr. Cullen and Esme. At the mention of the good doctor, she wags her eyebrows up and down, making us both bust up in giggles. I must be smiling like a lunatic because she sits back in her seat and crosses her arms over her chest smiling at me knowingly.

"Mike is right, it _is_ written all over your face."

_And speaking of lunatics… _I take the opportunity to get the attention off of my mad, hot love life and turn the focus to Mike.

"So did you meet Jessica, yet?"

She smiles warmly. "Oh yes, we met Jess. As a matter of fact, she set up a lunch for us after our initial consult visit. She came armed with goody bags for each of us with things to keep us occupied during treatments. She won Senior over right away with a bunch of outdoorsmen books and magazines and a huge supply of girl-scout cookies. Bella, you know what the man can do to a box of Thin Mints. I swear there were stars in his eyes at the assortment."

I laugh because the man really can eat his weight in cookies. _Well played, Miss Stanley, well played._

"She's good for Mike." She continues musing aloud. "She's a bit over the top, but she pushes him in a good way, you know?"

"She makes him crazy happy." I say with a nod and a grin, trying my hardest not to put an emphasis on the way I say _crazy_.

And with that, we end our lunch and head over to the hospital for a quick visit with Senior.

~~IYR~~

Senior is in excellent spirits. He is chatting animatedly as we play catch-up and a heated game of cribbage. He looks a lot thinner than when I saw him at Christmas, but his smile is still as contagious as ever. I feel kind of bad that I haven't been back to Forks since I started dating Edward. Maybe I should introduce him to the Chief. Charlie will be tickled pink to do his whole 'I have a shotgun and a shovel and no one would miss you' speech again.

I begin to get my stuff together and say my goodbyes since Tanya will be here shortly to pick me up. I hug Senior first and try not to tear up when I feel just how much thinner he is. I turn and hug Karen, squeezing her tightly. I guess I am more like Esme than I thought because I think I make her say 'ow'.

"Now don't be a stranger, sweet girl." She whispers in my ear.

"I won't. I'll come see you guys soon." I promise.

Just as I turn to exit the room, two men walk in. The first, who I assume is Dr. Aro by his white lab coat and shiny stethoscope, greets us warmly with the creepiest fucking smile I've ever seen in my life.

"How's my favorite angler feeling today?" He asks Senior without looking up from his chart.

Oh God, a fisherman. There are five things that Senior loves more than anything in the world - the Lord, his family, Girl Scout Cookies, Morgan Freeman and all things pertaining to fishing. Senior's face lights up as he begins to inquire how the good doctor's fishing trip went and if he used the lures he told him about. The doctor steps forward to go around to the other side of the bed and as he moves, I am certain that surprise and an equal amount of disgust color my face as I see Alec there with a creepy grin to rival Dr. Aro's smile.

"Mike, Karen, this is my son, Alec that I've told you about. He is pre-med over at the University of Washington." Dr. Aro announces proudly before explaining. "He's here to take his old man out to lunch."

He rearranges his features to show a more earnest expression and gives a one shouldered shrug as if to say 'aw shucks'. I don't even try to hide my epic eye roll and head out the door.

"Good to see you, Bella!" Alec calls after me like the kiss-ass he is.

Without even turning around, I give him a curt wave as I high-tail it out to the hallway. I internally chastise myself for not having the balls to just flip him the bird.

As I near the hospital exit, I recognize a familiar face. Emily Uley, my old babysitter is standing near the hospital registrar's office. She's a nurse and her husband, Sam, is an EMT here at the hospital. In early January, they adopted a sweet little boy named Embry. I remember being ecstatic for them and baked a cake to celebrate his 'Gotcha Day' the day the adoption officially went through. Their connection to him was instant; still to this day I get goose bumps when I think about the sparkle in Embry's eyes when he realized he had a 'forever family'. I make a note to self to find out Edward's adoption date and if his family celebrates his Gotcha day. Unfortunately, Emily has a patient with her so we are not able to catch up, but I give her a smile and a wave and mouth the words "call me" to which she nods excitedly.

Ever the punctual ones, Tanya and Rose are waiting patiently at the hospital entrance. Tanya's little tricked out Civic is vibrating. I smile and start nodding my head as I remember our Soundtrack songs playlist. Currently, Lustra's _Scotty Doesn't Know_ is playing. This makes me laugh because I am pretty sure that EuroTrip was the very first rated R movie I ever saw in a theater. Rose and I snuck in at a theater in Port Angeles. What can I say; sometimes it feels good to be bad…

I notice that Tanya is not heading back to the dorms so I throw her a questioning eyebrow in the rearview mirror. She smiles and crinkles her nose. This can't be good.

"Where are we headed, T?" I ask nervously.

"We are picking up a few last minute items." She says innocently which immediately makes me suspicious.

I sit back and watch as the scenery goes by. I am not going to complain – I have three days and two nights straight with Edward to look forward to.

"We're here." Tanya sing-songs and I believe I hear Rose give a small squeal. I look out the window and notice we are parked in front of a store called Babeland. I roll my eyes, how did I not see this coming?

"Um, Edward is picking us up at three – do we really have time to shop for adult toys, dolls?" I ask looking both ways praying that no one sees me entering this establishment_. Gosh I am such a pussy._

"Don't worry Bella; I am just picking up a special order. We will be in and out." Tanya says with a sly grin.

"Maybe you should pick up something for you and Edward." Rose suggests evenly as she starts eyeing a wall of vibrators. "I am sure he would love a night or two of kinky hotel sex."

I scoff and give her an eye roll.

"Fine Prudence McPrude, you guys can sit there and hold hands and watch re-runs of the Golden Girls while Tanya and I blow our men's minds." She says without taking her eyes off of the two vibrators she has in her hands, carefully comparing the features like the conscientious consumer she is.

My inner whore looks aghast and swings her gaze to me expectantly as if she's saying 'I will not stand for this'. _Challenge accepted, Rosalie Hale. Game on._

I start perusing the boutique. I will give Tanya credit; she always does it up right. No seedy adult stores that smell like bleach and incense for us classy ladies. I make my way back and stop at the S&M section looking at some of the extreme to downright scary merchandise. I find the whole concept of BDSM absolutely fascinating, though I don't think I could ever do that in reality. Could I? Hesitantly, I reach out and grab the little box of kinky fun. I look behind me to see if Tanya and Rose are watching me. When I see they aren't I scurry over to the counter and pay for my purchase. I strut over to them with my Babeland Boutique bag proudly swinging from my arm. Take that, Hale!

~~IYR~~

With only five minutes until the boys come to get us, Tanya and I are packing frantically. I swear I don't see an actual item of clothing go into Tanya's suitcase, only lingerie. I could be wrong, but it is still cold up there, unless they don't plan on leaving the room, which I wouldn't put past them either.

I receive a text from Edward, letting me know that they are downstairs and asking if we need help with our luggage. I text him to let him know that we can manage and we will be down shortly. We do one more check to see that we have everything and head out.

Edward loads our luggage into the back of the Suburban. His eyebrows rise when he sees the number of Babeland boutique bags making the trip to Vancouver with us. Rosalie and Tanya get into the very back of the car, while Chocolate Thunder and Emmett take the middle so they can play Halo on the PS3 all the way there.

"Ready?" Edward asks as he takes my hand in his.

He is looking at me so intensely, makes me think that he has a little something in mind for us tonight as well. I nod and smile and giggle a bit when he places a soft kiss on the back of my hand before he pulls out into the street.

As Edward merges onto I-5, Tanya clears her throat and pulls out a notebook.

"Boys and girls, we are all friends here correct?" She inquires.

Edward and I nod before he gives me a look that says 'where is this going?' I give him a shrug because who knows, it's Tanya.

"Good. Then as my friends, I need your help on something. I am going to ask some questions, I need you to answer as honestly as possible. Some of the questions will be for the girls and some are for the guys and some are for the couples in general.

I close my eyes in preparation for the most uncomfortable two-hour car ride in the history of the world. If it was just the girls, I am sure I could answer the questions easily without stuttering and blushing. But I didn't want Em and Chocolate Thunder to know all about my sexual proclivities.

"Okay, ladies first. Bella and Rose, please describe your perfect dildo or vibrator and/or combination." She requests professionally.

Fortunately Rose fields this question first. "I prefer my dildo to be at a minimum 7 to 9 inches long and a good size girth. I like when they are silicone and lifelike because they are a bit easier to put in, you know. I used to have one that had little nubs for clitoral stimulation, but I always had to work extra hard to get it directly on my clit. So I got rid of it."

"Yeah, then she met me and hasn't had to use the plastic peen since." Emmett brags giving Ty a fist bump and nodding his head.

I don't have to see it, I feel Rose's eye roll from the back of the car. "Anyway, like I was saying..." She continues.

I tune out, grateful that Rose is so into talking about her sex toy preferences. I don't know much about my preferences, other than I prefer Edwards to anyone or anything else. I smile and squeeze his hand a little. He never takes his eyes off the road, but somehow I think he knows what I am thinking. He is like a mind-reader sometimes.

"Okay, Bella. Please describe your perfect dildo or vibrator and/or combination." She asks as she scribbles some notes into the cock prototype notebook I found months earlier.

"Um..." I begin nervously, looking to Edward to stop this insanity. He tucks his lips into his mouth, trying not to smile at my discomfort. _Coward_.

"I don't know, dick shaped I guess." I answer hoping that this will satisfy her.

She looks up from her notebook and narrows her eyes. "Can you elaborate, please?"

I give her a pleading look, begging with my eyes not to make me discuss this aloud. Apparently our Jedi mind shit is on the fritz because she huffs in annoyance and launches into this explanation of sex toy-centric descriptors.

"What is your preference on girth, size, length, and material? Do you like it stiff, soft, ribbed, veiny, or smooth? Do you like it stationary or do you like it to vibrate? If you like it to vibrate, about what setting do you go with during your typical masturbation session? Do you prefer balls on your dildo? Do you enjoy dildos with any type of clitoral and/or anal stimulation? Do you prefer chopped cock or do you enjoy a little turtleneck on the knob?"

My eyes go wide and my face is hot. I am pretty sure I don't mean to blurt out what I do next, but my head and my mouth appear to be disconnected. "People don't put turtlenecks on their pee-pees..."

As soon as it leaves my mouth, I cover said mouth with my free hand and look straight ahead. I can feel Edward's hand trembling as I am sure he is dying with silent laughter.

"No…" Tanya begins gently as if she is talking to a four year old. "Foreskin, Bella. Do you like for your dildos to have foreskin?"

_Oh, of course_. "Um, no, I don't think so." I answer quietly. "Hey, can I just fill out a form or something?"

Suddenly Edward whips his head around to me with a sneaky smile. "But where's the fun in that?"

Note to self, junk punch Edward at some point this weekend.

"Oh Edward, I am so glad you are willing to do this. It was your mom's idea and she helped me put this survey together. She also gave me some great feedback and quite a bit to think about." Tanya informs Edward gratefully, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he looks as though he is about to vomit.

I can't help but smile broadly. Note to self, cancel Edward's junk punch. The visual Tanya just gave him is far more upsetting.

Finally, after the longest 2 hours and 45 minutes of my life, we pull up to the L'Hermitage Hotel. It's a beautiful boutique style hotel. According to Tanya, it is very posh and central to a bunch of shopping and entertainment.

Em, Edward and Chocolate Thunder go check us in, while Tanya, Rose and I lounge with our luggage in the lobby. Tanya confirms our reservations with the hotel restaurant _Q4 'al centro'. _We have about an hour and a half to shower and dress before meeting back up.

Edward and I discuss the plan on our way up to our room. We agree to sleep for 30 minutes before we start getting ready as we are both physically and mentally exhausted after Tanya's impromptu focus group session.

Edward unlocks and opens the door to the room, ushering me in and grabbing my luggage. The room is absolutely beautiful. Tanya was right; this place is the height of elegance and sophistication. Everything in it screams luxury. I am not going to lie, I could get used to this. I kick off my shoes and I pull back the duvet. As I lay down on the silky sheets, I hear Edward drop our bags and come up behind me to wrap his arms around my waist.

"Do you like the room?" He asks as he swipes my hair from my shoulder and places his lips at the base of my neck.

"Mmm hmm," I sigh as I roll over and place my cheek against his chest.

We sleep soundly for a good hour and then have to scurry to get ready in time for dinner. Unfortunately there is no time for sexy times during our shower, although Edward does promise to take me under the rain fall shower head at some point over the weekend.

Edward steps out of the shower just as I finish blow drying my hair. I am wearing the wrap dress and heels I wore on his birthday. I can feel his eyes on me as he towels off. As I begin to place my hair into a low bun on the back of my neck I feel Edward come up behind me pulling up my dress.

"Baby, we have reservations." I protest unconvincingly as he spreads my legs with his knee.

His hands run up my torso and slip under my dress to cup one of my breasts. His nose is buried in my hair, inhaling as he explores my body.

"Baby, I have plans for us tonight." I try to reason, it sounds weak even to my ears.

I can feel him smile against the shell of my ear and his erection pressing against my back.

"Plans, huh?" He asks but then leans closer and drops his voice an octave."Are you gonna be my dirty girl, Bella?"

A shiver runs through my entire body as I watch us in the mirror. Those hands, that voice, his lips – it's all too much. I reach into my make-up bag and drag my lipstick across my lips and pucker with a pop, never taking my eyes off of his.

I turn to face him, kiss the side of his mouth and purr, "You have no idea."

I feel pretty bad ass as I walk away, the click of my heels and his uneven breathing are the only sounds in the room. This dinner cannot get over fast enough.

~~IYR~~

We are only five minutes late for our reservation but not shockingly are the first ones to arrive. I glance at Edward and smile. He is gorgeous to say the least and I swear that his hair is a work of art. It should be since he spent fifteen minutes creating that intentional perfect disarray of a coif.

Tanya and Tyler mosey in, Tanya of course wearing her signature 'I just hit that' smile. Rose and Em follow shortly after although their vibe is less 'I just hit that' and is more 'I'd like to smack the shit out of that' towards each other. Rose is at about a level 7 on the bitch scale and Emmett looks like his 'give a damn' is busted. The tension at the table reaches a fever pitch when Rose receives a text and starts chuckling and smiling.

"Can you tell your friend Royce that you are having dinner with your boyfriend and can't chat right now?" Emmett asks as he throws down his napkin.

"Sure thing baby. I will tell him that just as soon as you tell the hippo that you aren't interested in spotting her with her squat thrusts." Rose replies with a condescending sneer.

Emmett rolls his eyes in annoyance. "For the fucking millionth time, Rose. Irina, Chelsea and I are just friends. They aren't interested in _me_ at all."

Tanya, who at this point has had two gin and tonics, leans over to give me the skinny. "Okay so Irina is Hungry Hungry Hippo and Chelsea is Monkey Boobs."

"Orangutan tits." Chocolate Thunder corrects as he takes a sip of his drink. Tanya nods a 'thank you' to him and gives Edward and me a 'you're welcome' wink.

"How come I can't have friends, Emmett? You can be friends with girls who have no respect for boundaries, why can't I?" She volleys crossing her arms over her chest indignantly.

I think everyone at the table is wearing the same shocked expression when it's Edward who responds to her inquiry.

"Because Royce is a really fucking bad guy, Rose" He spits angrily.

Rose turns her glare in Edward's direction, but Edward's resolve doesn't diminish in the least.

"I am serious. Just, don't get caught up with him. Or anyone he is fuckin' associated with." He warns seriously before downing the rest of his drink.

Thankfully, our food comes and the rest of the meal is relatively quiet. We discuss plans for tomorrow as each couple is going off on their own and we will all meet up for dinner and drinks in the evening. Tanya and I opt to each order a couple of desserts to share. The cannoli trio is absolutely delicious and I can't help but hum with every mouthful. I feel Edward wrap his arm around me and his other run up my knee and under my dress.

"Box up the dessert and bring it back to the room." He instructs with his lips at my ear.

I close my eyes and wrap my lips around another piece. In a flash his hand is out from under my dress and is clasped over my wrist. He takes my hand and places it directly over his massive erection.

"Now, Bella." He orders me, quiet but firm.

_Check please._

Edward and I say our goodbyes once the check is paid and bid everyone a good evening. I swear we practically sprint to the elevator. I don't even think the doors are closed before he is pinning me against the wall, kissing me hard. He fumbles with the key card as I lick and suck on his throat and rub his shaft through his pants. Once he gets the door open, Edward ushers me into the room and starts unwrapping my dress.

"Wait." I breathe, "Baby, wait. I… I got something for us to try."

"Oh yeah?" He asks as he pulls my bra cup down and begins lightly flicking my straining nipple.

I press and push on his chest lightly. "Baby, I bought some stuff that we can use on each other, I mean, if you'd like to, that is. I just need to go get ready."

He steps back and nods as I grab my overnight bag and head to the bathroom. I can hear him rummaging around out there, doing God knows what. I am so nervous, what if he thinks I am a closet freak. As I position my breasts in my bra, I take the cowards way out and tell him where he can find the goodies.

"Baby, take a look in the Babeland bag in the closet. I thought it would be fun to take turns using it on each other."

I take a look at myself in the mirror in the cute little bra and panties set that I found on sale last weekend on a nightmare six hour long shopping trip with Alice. I gotta say I look pretty damn good as I inspect myself from every angle.

Knock, knock.

"Bella."

Knock, knock.

"Bella."

Knock, knock.

"Bella."

"Yes Sheldon?" I reply as I roll my eyes and laugh at his Big Bang Theory bit.

"Can you come out here for a… For a moment?" He stutters nervously.

I wrap myself in a robe, and cautiously open the door as I am not sure where the hot blooded horny boy I love went. I peek out and Edward is running his hand through his hair anxiously. He is shirtless, clad only in long black cotton lounge pants. His bare feet are peeking out from under the pants. He looks fucking mouthwatering. He's holding the Babeland bag in his hand and eyeing me warily.

"Uh, I'm not into this." He admits timidly.

"Oh…" I say, unable to meet his eyes out of pure embarrassment. "Um. I'm sorry. I just thought that we would have fun, you know, taking turns or whatever."

After about a minute of silence, I finally look up and notice the confusion that clouds his face.

"Bella, I am not sure when you got the impression that I would ever be interested in you using a King Dong Dildo on me." He states matter-of-factly as he pulls out a gigantic plastic peen.

My eyes widen and I let out a huge guffaw. This thing is massive, at least 15 inches long and 2 or 3 inches wide.

"That's not mine. It's probably Tanya's." I say giggling, topping it off with a sexy snort.

Breathing a sigh of relief, he wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead reverently. I bring my arms around his waist and hug him tightly. As I do, I notice that he has candles all around the room and soft music playing in the background. It is so romantic and perfect.

"Okay," I say releasing him. "Go knock on their door and ask her to see if she has my bag. If not, Rose should have it for sure."

He looks at me warily shaking his head in the negative.

"Why not?" I ask incredulously, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What if they are in the middle of something, I think I've had my fair share of being walked in on. I don't want to even chance seeing… them." He replies, all grossed out.

"Edward." I say and cluck my tongue at him. "Your vagina is showing. March down there and switch the bag, unless you want me to use the King Dong Dildo on you."

"Bell-a," He whines my name as if that is going to lessen my resolve.

When he sees that it's not going to work, he appeals to my fondness for fairness and a game of chance. "Fine, we will rock, paper, scissors to see who goes."

His eyes are pleading and I really can't resist an opportunity to actually beat Edward at something, even if it is as insignificant as a game of rock, paper, scissors.

"Alright, let's do this. Ready?" I ask.

He nods as we begin the chant in unison. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

"HA!" I yell raising my arms victoriously. "Paper covers rock, now get to steppin'!"

"No, no, no! Best of three." He says, readying his hand again.

This is something that I've come to learn about Edward. He hates to lose. Failure is just not an option for him. If he has his way, we will be rock, paper, scissoring all night long, like Lionel Ritchie.

I roll my eyes, grab the bag and storm out the door. Tanya and Ty's room is all the way down the hall. On the way down I pass Emmett and Rose's room. It sounds like they are kissing and making up. Or should I say fucking and making up. I hear a large piece of furniture slamming repeatedly against the wall and Rosalie screaming 'harder Em, harder'. Yep, I think all is forgiven.

As I reach Tanya's room, I can hear the very end chords of Rose Royce's 'I Wanna Get Next to You'. Cringing, I knock quickly, hoping that I don't interrupt their hot, lovin' relations.

"Just a second." Tanya says and I am immediately relieved that she doesn't sound terribly winded and/or in the throes of passion.

I cover my eyes as she opens the door. There are two things Tanya loves more than anything, cocks and nudity. Fortunately, she is rocking the same robe that I am sporting.

"Um… I think this may belong to you." I say as I hand the bag to her.

She smiles broadly as she inspects the contents of the package. "Oh thank goodness, we would have missed this. Here, let me go see if we have yours. Wanna come in?"

_Pass_. "Uh, no, um… Edward's waiting for me." I manage to stutter out still in shock over her 'we' would miss this comment.

She glances into a bag as she makes her way back to the door, giggles a little and gives me a wink. "I am sure he is…"

I wag my eyebrows at her, take my bag and start speed walking back to our room. As I reach our door, I pause to get my nerves under control. I have to knock since I ran out of our room without a key. He opens the door smiling and pulls me into the room. Shutting the door behind me, he places his hand under my hair at the base of my neck and pulls me close to him, kissing me softly on the forehead.

With his other hand, he gently runs his fingertips down my throat and over my torso until he reaches the tie to the front of my robe. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a sexy side smile as he pulls the belt open. I close my eyes as I think back to the night in my dorm when he worshipped me reverently against the door.

I can feel my heart beat quicken and my cheeks heating. I try to stifle my small moan by biting my lip, but to no avail. He knows exactly what I am thinking about. I feel his lips against my ear and his hand gripping the handle of the bag.

"What do you have in mind for tonight, my Bella?" He asks in a low voice that resonates in every single nerve ending in my body.

I release my hold on the bag as he takes it and begins slowly walking towards the bed. I close my eyes as he reaches into the bag and pulls out the contents. I can hear him place the box on the bed. After several seconds I glance up to gauge his reaction. He has his back to me, but I can see him running a finger over the Kinky Sex Slave kit. The kit contains four restraints, a blind-fold and a feather. The silence in the room is drowning out the soft music he has playing. His lack of a reaction is making me so nervous; I can feel my face flushing again, this time with embarrassment.

After several seconds more, he raises his hand in the air and beckons me over with a finger. I bite my lip and walk over to him as confidently as I can. I stand a few inches behind him and stare at the kit as I am still too nervous to meet his eyes as he begins to circle me slowly.

Grabbing the robe and gently pulling it down my shoulders; I can feel his warm breath on my shoulder as it hits the ground in a pile at my feet.

"Hmmm…" He breathes deeply.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. You are always so full of surprises." He muses as he continues circling. "You never do what I expect."

Standing in front of me now, he lightly places his hand on my neck and leans forward to kiss me deeply. Our tongues touch and tangle as his mouth claims mine. I am practically panting as he breaks the kiss and begins circling me once more. He stops behind me again and gathers my hair into his hands and places it over my left shoulder. Skimming the right side of my neck with his soft lips, he runs his fingertips all the way up from my wrists to my bra straps.

"I love that about you, Bella." He whispers as he begins drawing each strap down my arm, before running his hands across my back to begin undoing the hooks. "You always keep me guessing."

Turning around me once more he runs his finger from my back, over my bicep, and to the center of my chest. Pausing to give me a playful smirk, he hooks said finger onto the front of my bra and pulls it down until it drops to the floor as well. A shiver runs through me as his eyes and his hands begin to roam over my body. He thumbs the sides of my panties and pulls them down slowly, peppering small kisses and swipes of his tongue down my chest and stomach. His eyes never leave mine, gazing intently as he goes. I can't help myself as I put my hands in his hair as he makes his way back up my body until we are once again face to face. He places his thumb on my lower lip pressing it back and forth.

"Are you going to be my good girl tonight, Bella?" He asks, clearly challenging how serious I am about our little game of role playing.

I suck his thumb into my mouth, biting gently as I slowly shake my head no. His coy side smirk lets me know that is exactly what he wanted to hear. He leans in and places his lips against my ear.

"Good." He whispers with a hint of satisfaction and excitement in his voice, just as he spanks me loudly. "Now lie down on the bed and close your eyes."

I climb into the bed slowly, making a show of being on my hands and knees. Once I reach the headboard I turn around and lie down with my hands at my sides and close my eyes. I can hear him pulling the contents of the box out and the tearing of the velcro on the restraints. He's moving around the room for some reason. At first I hear him fiddling with his iPhone, and then I am not 100% sure, but I think I hear him open the door to the mini fridge. It can't help but open one of my eyes to sneak a peek. I know I've been caught once I feel him kneel on the bed.

"No peeking, Isabella." He chastises firmly as he slips the blindfold over my eyes.

In an instant my senses heighten. I can hear everything. The flicker of the candles around us, the rough want in Otis' voice as he sings 'These Arms of Mine', and the steady breaths that Edward takes to keep himself calm, collected and in total control.

Straddling my torso, he places the cuffs around each of my wrists and gently places both of my arms straight up over my head. He secures the restraints to the bed and then checks to make sure the cuffs aren't too tight against my wrists. _Such a considerate lover…_

I can feel his eyes on me as he runs his hands down my arms and back down to my chest. His cock twitches and stiffens further as it lies in the valley between my breasts. I can't help myself as I arch my back, silently begging him to do something, anything to me.

The boy _must _read minds or is a quick study at the very least because he immediately bunches my tits together around him and slowly begins to thrust, gently. I fully intend to write a strongly worded thank you letter to the makers of the Sony Playstation 3 because his thumbs are working my nipples expertly. I can only attribute his talent to the numerous hours of playing Madden and Halo and Call of Duty.

I am trying desperately to control my breathing and swallowing my moans as the sensations of his touch and sounds overwhelm me.

"You like that, don't you baby?" He asks, I swear I can hear the naughty smirk in his voice.

I nod mechanically as I continue to squirm beneath him. He thrusts a few more times, each faster in succession and then he stops as he climbs off of me and the bed all together. Getting my ragged breathing under control I struggle to hear what he is doing. I can feel his eyes on me, like he is circling again. After a few minutes, he finally kneels next to me on the bed.

"Open your mouth, Isabella." He orders firmly.

So I do, I open wide, fully expecting his length to fill me, but no. My dirty boy is full of surprises as I feel his finger on my tongue, covered in chocolate from my cannoli.

"You drove me fucking crazy tonight eating this." He says as I suck his finger loudly. "The entire time you were eating this, I thought about what I wanted to do to you."

_Hmm… Methinks he is baiting me… _"Tell me." I beg desperately. "Show me."

I feel a slight movement on the bed. I nearly jump out of my skin as I feel him spread a dollop of chocolate over my nipple. His mouth covers my breast in an instant providing the most delicious contrast from the warmth of his tongue and the chilly cold of the filling. Licking and sucking the entire area clean, I have to bite my lip to silence a scream when he smears another scoop over its twin. He smiles against my skin as he runs his tongue across my chest to mimic his actions on the other breast.

I thrash and writhe as he flattens his tongue and takes long sweeping swipes over my aching nipple. Teasing me now, he begins to alternate drawing each one into his mouth to suck it roughly and releasing it only to blow on it softly. It's magnificent and maddening. He pauses briefly and somehow I just know that he is watching me, relishing it as he brings me to the brink of ecstasy. His cold, creamy finger traces down my torso as his tongue follows drawing nearer and nearer to my center.

I can feel him hovering just above where I want him most. My legs tremble slightly in anticipation. I pull against my restraints as I try to sink lower on the bed, preferably right onto his waiting lips. I hear him reach for something on the floor, some sort of container with a bag in it maybe. I can't be sure. He lowers his face to my pussy again and places a small soft kiss against my clit. His lips are chilly and I wonder for a split second if he had eaten some of the cannoli as well.

I don't have time to get caught up in the thought because I feel Edward open his lips against me and his icy tongue makes contact with my sensitive nub, sucking it into his cold waiting mouth.

I audibly suck in a huge breath and exhale with a long and loud moan.

His tongue assaults me as it flicks and swipes and dances all around, leaving me a quivering mess in its wake. His fingertips rub up and down my thighs, pinning me down every once in a while as I arch my spine and press my pelvis into his face in desperation.

"Fuck. You're delicious, baby doll." He mutters before diving back in for more.

He continues to wind me up for several minutes with his tongue making several passes over my entrance. I struggle against my restraints, pleasantly surprised that I feel the velcro crack open slightly as I pull. I shudder and shiver as he buries his face further into me. I'm right there – so very close. Its building, the burning deep inside of me. His hands press harder against my thighs trying to keep my legs from wrapping around his head. Thank goodness he is strong enough to pin them down; I surely wouldn't be able to live with myself if I accidentally crushed his skull between my legs or God forbid suffocated him.

Suddenly, his iPhone starts going off. At first I think it is an incoming call, but then I realize it's his alarm. All movement below stops. I am surprised as he places a chaste kiss on my lips and removes my restraints.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I ask breathlessly and albeit confused as he pulls the blindfold off of my eyes.

"Time is up." He says with a smile. He must notice my baffled expression as he carefully elaborates for me. "You said you wanted to take turns. It's been twenty minutes; I figured you would want to take a turn."

Turns? I don't know whether I want to kiss him for being so considerate or punch him in the throat for cockblocking me.

I quickly decide that I'm game, so I kneel next to him to slip the blindfold over his head and begin to secure his wrist in the restraints. Once I have him properly positioned, I climb off of the mattress and begin circling the bed. I notice he has a teasing, cocky smirk in place. It is as though he is daring me to make a move. _Tsk tsk Edward. _

I grab the remaining two restraints from the floor, spread his legs and wrap the restraints around each of his ankles. I crawl to him on the bed and put my lips to his ear.

"Enjoying yourself, Edward?" I ask seductively.

He smiles wider and licks his lips. "Immensely."

"You aren't nervous lying here completely naked and vulnerable?" I question, softly running my fingertip over his Adams apple and down his chest.

He shakes his head in the negative with his smug grin still in place before letting out a humorless laugh. "Do your worst, baby doll!"

I pull his earlobe into my mouth and suck it briefly before I get on all fours hovering to the side of him. "I was hoping you would say that."

And with that little retort, I lightly rake my fingernails down his chest and along his pubic bone causing Edward to wriggle and fidget. _Not so confident now are ya' pal?_

I notice his pants neatly placed on the arm of the couch with the shiny silver buckle of the leather belt still attached. I grin evilly as I hop off the bed and scurry over to grab it. I pick up the pants and watch as he strains to listen and figure out what I am doing. Making sure he hears the buckle jiggle I notice his brow furrow slightly and then his mouth pop open slightly as he figures out what's coming next.

I walk back over to the bed slowly as I rattle the belt. I bit my lip to hold back a laugh. How can he even think I would ever use this on him? But I find it hilarious how he is subtly trying to work himself out of the restraints.

I resume my previous position, kneeling near him and once again I lean down to whisper in his ear. "This may hurt a bit."

His struggle becomes a full on thrash as I take the belt in my hands and snap it together, nowhere near his body, but the sound of the crack of the belt has him terrified.

"Aagghhh, fuck! Bella, NO! SAFEWORD! SAFEWORD!" He screams like a girl as he makes a great effort to get away from little old belt wielding me.

I cackle evilly, clearly drunk off the power. He must realize that I am just messing with him as he lets out a relieved little chuckle.

"You are a bad girl, aren't you?" He asks shaking his head.

I gently pull the blindfold from his eyes and kiss him fiercely. "I really am, Edward. Do you wanna watch?" I ask.

He nods excitedly as I lower myself down his body. I run my tongue up and down his shaft quickly and cup his balls in my hand tugging and pulling gently. My eyes never leave his as I take his full length into my hot mouth and down my throat as far as it will go.

He is squirming and lifting his ass off the bed slightly. His jaw is slack as he watches me flick my tongue over his head, circling and slurping on the tip.

His whimpers and labored breathing spurs me on as I grip his shaft firmly and stroke him slowly. Biting his lip, he gives me an appreciative moan. In return, I give him a cocky smirk and take him deep again.

"Ugh. Yes! Come on, baby! Fuck!" He snarls as he thrusts his hips, filling my mouth completely.

My man is getting far too worked up and being the selfish lover that I am, I think it's time for me to get mine. I straddle his hips and rub myself against his length for a few seconds before I decide I want to try something new for me.

"You know, I've always wanted to try this." I say as I turn around to ride him reverse cowgirl.

Sliding down his erection I immediately feel full and can't help the moan that comes out of my mouth. Once I am steady and confident, I close my eyes and begin moving up and down, painfully slow. I feel him begin to roll his pelvis beneath me, pushing in deeper.

I get lost in my own pleasure as I begin to ride him faster. My hands unconsciously run up and down over my breasts, and into my hair. I am not sure why, but I can feel his eyes on me as I grip my tits in my hands. I hear the strain of the velcro as he struggles against it. While I can honestly say that I am enjoying this thoroughly, I miss his hands on me. I ache for his touch and his lips on my skin. I reach down and release his ankles from the restraints and pull off of him to remove the cuffs from his wrists as well. He is up and has me in his arms in an instant, kissing me deeply as I giggle slightly into his mouth.

"What's so funny, baby doll?" He asks with a light laugh as he holds me tightly against him.

I snort and mimic his voice from earlier, "Do your worst!"

Smiling brilliantly, he throws me down on the bed and makes wild and crazy, passionate love to me. We laugh and talk and make love well into the early hours of the morning. In fact, I can see us barely leaving the hotel room this weekend, perfectly happy to enjoy our bubble of bliss for as long as we can.

As I watch him sleep, I think about some of the things that Mike said to me and for the first time, I can see what he was saying. Edward alone is enough for me. He is more than I could ever want and need. The only difference is that he and I are both always willing to take it to the next level if that's what the other wants or needs. His happiness is paramount to me, and mine to him. It's only then that I realize that I will never willingly leave his side. I'll want him for always. I'll be his forever.

* * *

**A/N: True facts... The King Dong Dildo does exist - google it. At the tender age of 21, I went to my first sex toy party. The sex toy consultant looked just like Mrs. Doubtfire. Now, just imagine Mrs. Doubtfire pulling a 15 inch dildo out of a bag and talking about how much 'fun' she and the mister have with the bad beast. You go on with your bad-self Mrs. Doubtfire!**

**Thanks as always to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, rec'd and lurked this fic! **


	19. Ch 19-I Don't Need to Lose You to Know

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word _erection_ used repeatedly…**

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**So... Where were we? Ah, yes... Young and in love...**

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Chapter 19 – I Don't Need To Lose You to Know

"Are you awake, Bella?" Edward whispers in my ear as he props himself on his elbow behind me.

I nod my head as he rubs his finger tips up and down my arm. It appears the Kraken is waking as well as I feel Edward's lower half press up against me.

Edward and I are no longer speaking tentatively about our relationship. Before the 'I love you's' were spoken, we would make plans no more than a week or so in advance and never speak on the future and what it might hold. Now our future is all we can talk about.

I am certain that I have never seen Edward smile as big as he did last night when I let him know that Rose, Tanya and I signed a lease for an apartment for this summer and through the school year. I'll admit the thought of spending the summer in Forks and so many hours away from Edward which was the initial plan, is terrifying. He as much said the same which made my heart swell so the apartment in the city is definitely the way to go.

I smile at the thought of more time with Edward, and at the fact that his finger that was so lovingly rubbing my arm is now inching my t-shirt up my waist.

"Did you sleep well?" He murmurs against my shoulder as he runs his hand over my stomach and circles my belly button with his fingers.

I nod again as I begin to gently grind my ass into his erection. I can feel him smile against me because he knows I am down for a trip to Poundtown. His hand trails up my stomach and seizes my breast, pinching and pulling at my nipple, causing me to gasp.

"You want some Sunday mornin' lovin'?" He asks as he places his tip against my opening and circling it tightly.

"Mmm" I reply with a smile as he slowly enters me. "But it's only Saturday."

Sunday mornin' lovin' is my new favorite pastime with Edward. Upon our return from Vancouver a few weeks ago, we started this new morning tradition. It's slow and sensual, never rushed. My back to his front with each of us on our sides. Leisurely touching and grazing and groping. Unhurried connection. And the new mirror on the back of his door makes it infinitely hotter as we can see it all.

My man is on fire today with the long, lingering strokes and the rough deliberate grinds. I love that. I love that he can read what I need in that moment. He knows when I need it shallow and fast and hard, and he can sense when I need the drawn out deep dicking. He is twitching inside of me. I love how he does that too. Always a strong finisher, I love how he stays inside me until he falls out. Like there is no where he'd rather be than with me, in me.

Today's Sunday mornin' lovin' session is so good, I turn and kiss him full on the mouth, morning breath and all. This is a slight breach of etiquette on my part as I am typically not a morning kisser until after my chompers and tongue are given a good once over by some minty fresh cavity protection paste.

My intention is to kiss him quickly, but he wants to linger. He's enjoying himself. The smile in his kiss says so. Breaking the kiss and extracting myself from his embrace, I run into the bathroom to answer Mother Nature's call.

"You must really love me." He says through the bathroom door.

"Oh yeah? What makes you say that?" I ask like a smart ass as I struggle to replace the toilet paper on the holder correctly. I swear, the man is going to save lives one day as a surgeon, yet he refuses to adhere to the more than reasonable concept that toilet paper is meant to be pulled down, not up.

"Well," He starts off, cocky and smug. "I get a full on tongue kiss with morning breath today _and_ you farted in front of me last night. Must be love, baby doll!"

No! I gasp internally. Flatulence is a hard limit for me. I do not pass gas in front of anyone if I can help it, and I make it a point to help it. I wash my hands and crack open the door to peek at him to see if he is kidding. That smug mother fucker is still in bed with his arms behind his head and a victorious smile on his face. I open the door a smidge more to refute his claim.

"I did not fart in front of you; I would remember something like that."

He nods, arrogant smirk still in place as he responds. "I agree. You would if you were conscious at the time."

"OH MY GOD," I whine loudly as I slam the door closed.

I hear the springs of the bed and his footsteps as he comes to stand outside of the door.

"Aw, babe. I swear it was cute. It even smelled like sunshine and baby baths." He lies easily.

"EDWARD!" I half yell half whine.

"Fine, it smelled like a Chalupa Supreme." He concedes, only to humiliate me further by adding, "I told you it's never a good idea to make a run for the border at 1 AM."

Fucking mortifying.

"Come on, Bella. What's the big deal? My dad says that's how you know you love someone, if you are comfortable enough to pass gas in front of them."

Rolling my eyes, I hop up off the ground and open the door.

"Edward. Flatulence is a hop, skip and a jump away from taking an open door shit in front of you. Is that what you want, Edward? Do you want me to take an open door shit in front of you?" I challenge with my hands on my hips.

He looks like he wants to vomit as he shakes his head profusely. "Ugh, no. We discussed this; open door shitting is a hard limit for both of us."

"Exactly. So if I ever do that again consciously or unconsciously, I don't want you to acknowledge it, agreed?"

He nods with his smile, pulling me against his chest.

I wrap my arms around his waist and burrow into his chest. "But yes. I do really, really love you Edward." I admit quietly.

His answering kiss to the top of my head lets me know he heard me loud and clear.

~~IYR~~

As I open the door to my room, I notice Rose lounging across Tanya's bed, reading a copy of Cosmo. Tanya is at her desk, scrawling some notes into her mock cock binder.

Rose and I acknowledge each other with a smile and a chin nod, while Tanya gives me an absentminded "Hey doll!"

I go to grab my clothes out of our closet as I am on my way over to the hospital to see Senior. He is currently suffering from some type of infection and was admitted to the hospital last week. Ever the positive person, Karen assures me that the doctors are working hard to contain it.

Rose's phone rings, jarring each of us from our thoughts. She takes one look at the screen and gives a dramatic eye roll before hitting the ignore button.

"Royce again?" Tanya asks, as she begins scribbling in her binder once again.

"Ugh, yes…" Rose huffs in annoyance. "He clearly can't take a hint. I don't know how else to say 'beat it geek' other than ignoring his texts and phone calls for 9 days straight. I mean, really. Have some self-respect."

Tanya nods with her all knowing side smirk. I look down as I feel slightly guilty for being a bad friend. In the weeks since returning from Spring Break, Edward and I have sort of been in our own little world. Maybe Edward's harsh warning made her see the error of her ways. Or maybe Emmett finally told his fan club to hit the bricks. Rose must sense that I am sliding down the shame spiral for not knowing why she isn't all buddy-buddy with the douche any longer.

"Wondering what's going on, B?" She asks as she eyes me, chuckling.

I shrug, smiling sheepishly.

"Well," She launches into her story animatedly flipping her hair over her shoulder. "T and I were at the gym and we ran into Siobhan, you know, the chick Tanya went les-be-friends with for a month or so?"

I nod again, remembering Tanya's lady-friend who is an absolute doll. This gets Tanya's attention as she turns from her faux phalluses folder to join the conversation.

"I'll have you know that we have that time I spent with Siobhan to thank for inspiring my sex toy line. I mean, I am doing it for pussies everywhere – but especially for the lesbians. Let's be real, dolls. There ain't nothin' like the real thing baby, but when that isn't an option, that's where I will come in." Tanya says with her hand over her heart like she is making a passionate promise to unhappy vaginas everywhere.

Rose rolls her eyes and continues. "She and T were playing catch-up or whatever and Triple H, I mean, Irina walks by and waves all awkwardly at us. Naturally, I give her the stink eye and she hauls ass to the shower. Here I am thinking that she must know that I am onto her, right? But no, apparently she is Siobhan's ex-girlfriend!"

Rose's eyes grow big and she rolls her neck when she says "ex-girlfriend" like she is saying 'BOOM that just happened'. My eyes widen and my mouth pops open slightly as I try to process this new bit of intel.

"So, is she a full-time lesbian, or a seasonal one like Tanya?" I ask as I grin evilly at Tanya to which she laughs and shakes her head.

"Full-time. And in a relationship with Orangut – I mean, Chelsea." Rose answers, correcting herself as apparently using the nicknames is no longer appropriate.

"Emmett knew, huh? Why didn't he just tell you?" I ask, genuinely both puzzled and amazed at Em's secret keeping skills.

"It's not public knowledge, Chelsea isn't _out_ per say." She explains letting me know with her eyes that this doesn't leave the friendly confines of this room.

I put up my pinky, kiss it and cross my heart. Our third grade pinky-promise apparently still holds up in friendship court as a legally binding non-verbal agreement as indicated by Rose's answering nod. I finish dressing and give myself a quick once-over before I head out the door.

"I am off to see Karen and Senior. You guys doing anything tonight?" I ask, realizing just how much I miss my friends.

"Em and I are having dinner with his parents." Rose replies with a shrug.

"Ty and I will probably be around." Tanya answers indifferently. "If anything we will just go over to Felix's house and play cards or something."

"Sounds good – I will check in later. Bye dolls!" I say, shutting the door behind me.

~~IYR~~

The kindly old hospital volunteer advises me that Senior is in Room 1212 and hands me a visitor's pass. As I pass the gift shop, I consider picking him up some cookies or chocolate, but I think better of it. I don't want Jessica to think I am trying to step on her toes.

I knock gently as the door is only cracked open a little.

"Come in." Karen calls out as I push the door a smidge.

"It's just me." I say as I stick my head out, making sure now is a good time.

She waves me in excitedly, bringing me in for a hug. I notice Senior in my periphery, his appearance is shocking. His face is pale and gaunt and his body is rail thin. Pain and weakness are evident in his every movement. I don't know if it is the disease or the infection that is wreaking havoc on his body, but whatever it is, it appears to be winning.

Karen releases me and I finally get a look at her. Her smile is genuine, but her eyes are worried. She looks tired and worn down. She is fighting like hell to appear strong and positive for Senior and Mike, but I can see the fear there as well.

"So good to see you, sweet girl." She says rubbing my upper arms.

"You too!" I say warmly as I go to greet Senior, though I am very afraid to touch him because I don't want to hurt him.

"You need to get better big man; my dad says the steelheads are biting." I say to Senior, opting to just gently rub his hand.

He tries to smile lightly, but otherwise makes no move to respond. An orderly knocks twice and walks in with a wheelchair and pulls up to the bed.

"I'm afraid you caught us at a bad time," Karen begins, "We are on our way down to do a quick test. Are you in a hurry, or can you hang out for a bit?"

"I am completely open today, I'd be happy to wait to catch-up with you guys." I reply smiling, trying to convey the same level of positivity as Karen.

"Wonderful, there are some books and magazines if you want and the cafeteria is on the first floor if you want to grab a coffee or something to eat." She says as she watches the gentleman help Senior into the chair and pushes him away.

I sit and peruse the magazines for all of ten minutes before I get my fill of baby-bumps, break-ups and all of the other ridiculousness Hollywood has to offer. I step into the bathroom to relieve myself and as I wash my hands, I take a good look at my reflection. Naturally, because I am a girl, I get up close to the mirror and inspect my pores, weighing the pros and cons of my new mineral based powder.

I hear the door open and close abruptly.

"Jess, I've got a really bad feeling. I think my mom isn't telling me something." Mike says.

It sounds as though he is pacing and then I hear Jess's footsteps and the curtain sliding.

"Mike, calm down, there is no use borrowing trouble." She says matter of factly before instructing, "Sit down."

I can hear him plop down on the chair. I am just about to make my presence known when I hear his belt buckle being undone and the sound of his zipper. I am frozen to where I stand with my hand covering my mouth, surely this is not happening.

"Jess, they will be back up here soon. You don't have to do that." He protests unconvincingly.

"Michael." She says in a scary ass stern voice. "Just shut up and enjoy it."

"Oh God, Jess!" Mike bellows as he relents.

I feel like Jenny from Forrest Gump on her knees in the field pleading 'Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far. Far, far away.' _This shit is not happening._

I will give her this; the girl has the skills to pay the bills. I can hear the slurping over his quiet moans and random 'yes' ' or 'oh God's'. As a matter of fact, Mike's climax arrives fairly quickly with his typical strangled moan and labored breathing. I can hear him zipping his fly and buckling his belt as I silently begin to pray that good ol' Jess is a swallower and not going to need the facilities to spit.

After about five minutes of afterglow, and a conversation about 'how much he loves when she does that' I can safely say that Jessica Stanley swallows.

My hand is still covering my mouth trying my hardest not to giggle aloud at all of the thoughts of Mike being totally dominated by this chick. Like ball gags and gimp suits and him screaming 'Thank you Mistress can I have another?'

I hear the door open once again and the curtain slide.

"There you two are." Karen says as she approaches them. "Where's Bella?"

"Bella's here?" Mike asks sounding somewhat surprised, though I am sure that is more for Jessica's benefit.

_Ugh, here we go_. "Here I am." I say brightly as I open the bathroom door. "Sorry, I was washing my hands when they walked in a minute ago."

I give an awkward wave to Mike and Jess who look to be a nice mixture of horrified and shocked.

Thankfully, the door opens as a nurse wheels Senior into the room, though I am surprised to see Dr. Aro following behind them with his eyes skimming what appears to be Senior's chart. The moment he looks up from the chart, I know things are not good. I look at Karen and see that she too is steeling herself for this discussion.

Dr. Aro clears his throat. "I am going to need to examine Michael, can we have non-family members exit the room, please?"

I nod and look to Jessica, "Wanna grab some coffee?"

She gives a tight smile and follows me out of the room, shutting the door behind her. The elevator ride is quiet as is the walk to the cafeteria. We each grab our beverage of choice before reconvening at a table near the cafeteria entrance.

"So…" She starts blowing out a breath before finishing with, "That was… embarrassing."

I laugh internally because all I can think of is dick-breath as she exhales loudly. I am not sure why, but I want to put her at ease. I think about the way Heidi's off-handed comments made me feel, and I don't have the inclination to do that to her. More than likely because I don't want my ex back.

"Please. My boyfriend's mom walked in on us. _That_ is mortifying." I say, hoping that my own humiliation will help break the tension.

Her eyes widen and before she can stop herself she blurts, "She walked in on you guys getting busy?"

I take a sip of my hot chocolate, playing it off like it was no big deal. "Not exactly, I was kind of… sitting on his face."

She starts laughing hysterically. I giggle with her, but mostly at her because her laugh is actually a full on cackle. It sounds funny, but still scary as shit.

We do the whole getting to know you thing. I find out that she is a junior and is getting her teaching degree. She grew up in Tacoma and initially went to school there, however after a messy break-up she came to Seattle. I feel a smidge guilty when I try to guess what she did with the body from her _messy break-up_. I tell her all about me and note her interest when I speak of Edward. I don't blame her a bit though; I know my man is fine. Our conversation turns to Senior. Her mood dims and she grips her coffee cup a little tighter.

"I don't think he has much time left, Bella" She admits quietly.

I furrow my brow slightly and can instantly feel a small lump in my throat. "What is the doctor saying?"

"According to Karen they are 'trying to contain it'," She says, using finger quotes. "But I think she is trying to shield Mike."

I nod in understanding, still unable to speak.

"I mean, he is obviously in so much pain." She says staring out into space. "I just think she needs to tell Mike so he isn't completely blindsided, you know?"

I take a sip of my hot chocolate as I am unsure of what to say. For some reason, Karen's words come back to me.

"You are really, really good for him." I say without thinking. "Karen said that and I think she's absolutely right."

My words must catch her off-guard because she looks surprised before she smiles gratefully.

"So it's not weird, right? Like, being friends with him, him being with me, you being with Edward." She asks, trying to feel me out or something.

"No," I reply looking at her like she is nuts. "Absolutely no weirdness at all."

"Good." She says watching her hands as they fidget with her coffee cup.

Apparently my answer wasn't reassuring enough for her, so I decide to put her at ease once more.

"You guys are like, perfect together!" I say, hoping that my tone makes this statement seem as though it is an obvious fact.

"I know, right!" She quickly agrees with a new spring in her step, a flip of her hair and a huge smile on her face.

_Damn I'm good._

We head back up to the room and find the door open. Karen is placing the magazines and things from around the room into a bag crying silent tears. Mike is in a chair in the corner with his head and face in his hands. I nudge Jess forward and motion my head to the waiting room, letting her know that I will be out here if they need me. Not five minutes later, a crying Jessica comes into the waiting room and slumps into the chair next to me.

"They are moving him to hospice." She says quietly before she begins sobbing into her hands.

My face flushes as I can feel hot tears forming in the corners of my eyes as I awkwardly rub her back. I swallow thickly, trying my hardest not to sob myself as I think about what this means and what needs to be done.

I can't be sure if it is the best of Charlie in me, or the worst of Renee, but I am one of those freakish people who can detach from a sad situation and do what needs to be done. Well, almost any situation, I didn't exactly handle my break-up well, but since this isn't happening to me, it is a lot easier to do.

My heart aches for Mike and Karen. I cannot even allow myself to think about it, so I formulate a plan.

Once Jessica's sobs die down, she looks at me somewhat expectantly as if she is saying 'what do I do now'. I clear my throat and pray that my voice doesn't betray my strong exterior with the sadness I feel.

"Jess, there are a lot of things that Karen will need to handle, but we can take care of these things for her."

She nods and motions for me to continue.

"We need to contact the family and let them know. Their time with him is limited; she doesn't have a second to spare." I say ticking off a finger as if going through a list.

"We need to go to the store and pick up anything she needs so she doesn't have to leave his side. We also need to stop by Mike's room and get some clothes and toiletries for him to have on hand if he opts to stay at the hospital as well. We should also get the number to his professors and the Dean's office so he can get a leave for the rest of the semester. We need to do whatever we can to make this process easier on them."

"O-okay." She stutters, rising from her seat. I can see that she is back on track now that a plan is in place; determination colors her face as she heads back into the hospital room to let them know.

~~IYR~~

Jessica and I make trip to Target before we stop by Mike's dorm. Apparently Jess knows exactly where the needed information is in the room as she recently reorganized it. She also proudly informs me that she got them to repair the water damage to his ceiling. I have to look away for fear that I will smirk just thinking about the ceiling tiles I counted while on my back three times a week on his bed. I opt to stay in the car since I have little desire to revisit his room. My old stomping grounds so to speak. She seems more than okay with that as well.

As we drive back to the hospital, I program the necessary family numbers that I have from my phone into hers. I give her the lowdown on the family. Evidently she and Mike hadn't made the trek to Forks yet, but were planning to do so after finals.

We hit up a drive thru to get food for Karen and Mike. I almost snort when Jessica asks if I want to go to Taco Bell, but that would be incredibly inappropriate at a time like this. By the time we get back to the hospital it is just past nine o'clock.

Jessica enters the room first immediately taking charge of the situation. She prepares the food and insists that they eat while explaining that she is going to contact the family and the acting store manager at Newton's Sporting Goods to let them know what is going on. Handing the clothes and toiletries to Mike and Karen, she asks if there is anyone else she can contact for her to which Karen shakes her head no.

My heart aches for Mike as he stares at his food unable to digest it or the events of the day. But it absolutely breaks when I look at Karen. Her world is crashing down all around her. I can't help but think about how her lifetime of happiness is now reduced from years to days, hours, minutes and seconds. Right now I can see her mind trying to wrap itself around what this means and how different her future looks without him by her side.

I internally berate myself for thinking about how I would feel if I were in her shoes. To know that my time with Edward could be cut short or my happily ever after stolen from me, it makes my chest hurt. The thought of losing him in any capacity physically causes me pain.

Jess seems to have the situation under control so I decide to head out for the evening. I hug Karen tightly and tell her to call me if she needs anything. I turn and give Mike a wave. He mouths 'thank you' to me as he waves goodbye. I meet Jess at the door and we walk together to a small office where she intends to make the calls to the family.

"Let me call Edward real quick so he can come pick me up." I say grabbing for the receiver of the land line since I get zero reception at the hospital. He picks up after two rings. I can hear the worry in his voice since I should have been home hours ago.

"Hey, it's me. Um." I start as my voice cracks a bit. "Can you come get me?"

He tells me he will be right over. I can tell he wants to ask what's going on, but he must be able to sense that I am hanging by a thread emotionally, so he thinks better of it. I hang up and turn to Jessica who is writing a list of the people she needs to speak to and noting some of the things I told her.

"I hope you don't mind, but I put my number in your phone if you need help with anything." I tell her, looking down at my hands.

"Bella." She says before clearing her throat. "Thank you. You've been… You're really great."

I give her a small smile and push out my hands as if to say 'don't mention it'.

She sucks in her lips and nods effectively ending our pseudo moment for which I am grateful as I am the most awkward person in the warm and fuzzy department.

I head down to the hospital lobby to wait for Edward. It's drizzling which is pretty typical for spring in Seattle, well any time of year in Seattle really. I see him walking up to the main entrance. His hood is up and he is looking down at his feet. It looks like he is carrying an extra hoodie. _Dear God, I love this man._ I rush through the automatic door and practically tackle him to the ground as I wrap my arms around his middle.

"Hey." He says, hugging me tightly to his chest and kissing the top of my head. "You alright, baby?"

I press my face against his chest and shake my head 'no' as I can feel the silent sobs starting to build in my chest.

"Bad prognosis?" He asks quietly with his lips against my hair.

"Yeah." I whisper, not trusting my voice not to break.

He is silent for a moment before he too whispers the word that I can't even utter. "Hospice?"

The dam breaks and I openly blubber and weep against him as he rubs my back reassuringly. We stay this way for several minutes and I can feel the rain saturating my clothes.

He puts the hoodie over my head and kisses my nose. "You've got a stage 2 case of milady hair going there." He jokes with a crooked smirk trying to lighten the mood as we begin the trek to his car.

Hand in hand, we quietly make our way to the parking garage. The long walk feels nice, calming in a way. Also it's probably a good thing since I've eaten my weight in fast food and booze the past couple of days.

The elevator doors ding as they open and Edward ushers me in with his hand on my lower back. He makes the floor selection and proceeds to pull me to him tightly. His large hands cup my cheeks, while his thumbs wipe the remaining wetness from under my eyes. I can't quite gauge his expression. His stare is intense, his eyes boring into mine, but his jaw is tight.

He bends down and places a cautious chaste kiss on my lips. Again, and then again once more before I part my lips slightly. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and teases my tongue and teeth with his. The kiss goes from hesitant to heated in a matter of seconds as he weaves his long fingers into my hair and nudges me until my back is firmly against the elevator wall. I swear we are practically panting into each other's mouths, the need to consume each other so great that we can't seem to be bothered with something as trivial as breathing.

I vaguely hear the elevator door open, though I am not sure if Edward intends on exiting as his lips have made his way down my throat. The door begins to slide closed and he suddenly sticks his hand out and leads me out to the top floor of the parking garage. There are only a few cars parked out here beneath the dimly lit lamps and rainy night sky. Staring straight ahead we walk arm and arm to the car at a snail's pace. His expression is serious and focused and making it nearly impossible for me to read his mood.

"Penny for your thoughts." I say, looking up at him.

"I'm trying to imagine it." He starts, licking his lips and rubbing his hand over his jaw. "What must be going through his head right now, knowing his time is limited here on earth. And with the ones that he loves."

Nodding in understanding, I remain silent in hopes that he will continue.

"There is probably so much left that he wanted to do or say. I don't know - it just kind of puts things in perspective you know." He replies shrugging.

"Yeah. I just can't…" I start but I shake it off as I can feel the lump in my throat and my eyes stinging with tears again. "I just don't want to consider that I could be in that same position someday."

He opens the car door for me. I climb in quickly as he shuts it behind me. I pull my knees to my chest and lean my head back in the seat.

"Tired baby?" He asks as he starts the car and assumes our driving position of holding my hand in his.

I shrug. I don't think I am tired per say, maybe just emotionally exhausted.

"Let's get outta here." He says as we pull out of the spot.

The drive is quiet as I stare out the window watching the city go by. Every now and again he puts my hand to his lips, but still neither one of us speaks. About ten minutes into the drive I notice that we aren't heading back to campus, and I have no clue where he is taking me.

"Where are we headed?" I ask as I try to figure out where we are.

"Jake and Ty are entertaining tonight, I just kind of wanted you to myself, you know." He replies eyeing me out of his periphery.

We pull into Lincoln Park and drive until we hit the beach area overlooking Puget Sound. I've always wanted to see this place. Granted seeing it in the daylight is preferable, but I will take it any way I can get it so long as I am with Edward.

He quickly parks, pops the trunk and exits the car. I hop out as well taking in the salty sea air. It's fairly cool and slightly windy, but this feels like the perfect place to clear your head. Edward is holding a blanket under one arm and takes my hand in his as he leads me down to the beach. The rocky beaches are beautiful, albeit a little slippery. We find a picnic table under a shelter and he hops on top with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I slip in between his legs and he wraps the blanket around us both. Resting his chin on my shoulder we sit in comfortable silence, enjoying the sounds of the waves lapping at the rocks.

"You're it for me, Bella." He blurts suddenly, almost like he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth.

I crane my neck to stare at him slightly taken aback by his words.

"I mean it. I want it all with you." He says, completely serious, his voice growing more confident and sure by the second. "Marriage, kids… the whole kit and caboodle."

My expression must be one of total disbelief because he feels the need to clarify.

"I know that it's really soon to be saying things like that. I mean, we've been together what four months or so. But I know it. I swear it; I think I knew it even before we were together." He says sincerely before looking back out into the distance and shaking his head slightly. "I will never forget the moment I knew you were the one. It was like a God damn lightning strike."

"When was that?" I ask out of genuine curiosity since I always thought our moment in the quad was the beginning of his interest in me.

He looks at me a little warily before smiling brightly and shaking his head. "Let's get you home, baby doll. You're freezing out here."

It's true, as beautiful as the beaches are; the rain and wind were not ideal conditions to sit in for any extended period of time. Leading me back to the car with his arm around me, I realize I never told him that I feel the same. As he goes to open my door for me I place my hands in the pocket of his hoodie and pull him to me with my eyes on his.

"I want it all too." I say with certainty. "I want it all with you."

His answering smile dazzles me, as does the gentle kiss he places on my forehead. He goes to open the passenger side door again, but I have other ideas as I pull him back a few steps

The panty dropping smirk he gives me lets me know that he is game as we slip into the backseat of the car. His hands are on me in seconds as we start taking off our clothes. Our kissing is frantic and sloppy. His warm lips burn my icy skin as he licks his way down to my cleavage and pulls my bra cup down, far too impatient to wait for me to remove it as I am working diligently to get my pants and underwear off.

Edward sits back so we can both remove the rest of our damp clothing. We are naked in no time and he resumes his meal with his favorite party of two. While he pays homage to the lady lumps, I scratch my fingernails down his stomach and over his pelvis before fingering the length of his shaft. He groans deeply as I lick my hand and start working it over his dick. My hands must still be cold because Edward shivers slightly.

Not one to be outdone, Edward takes two fingers and puts them against my mouth before I part my lips to suck and tongue them loudly. He removes them quickly only to shove them inside me once more firmly between my other lips. His mouth is on mine again kissing and claiming and consuming every single ounce of me.

His skilled fingers continue to deftly work my pussy over. His lips form a beautiful 'O' shape as he slides them in and out of me, before adding a third. I can't be sure, but I think I feel his pinky hanging out in no man's land. Not necessarily touching the restricted area, just casing the joint so to speak.

He slides me down until I am on my back. I spread my legs as wide as they will go, propping one foot on the rear window and one on the neck rest of the passenger seat. I place my hands above my head and brace myself against the foggy window.

Edward kneels on the floorboard and positions himself. I am barely able to control the sharp intake of breath I have in reaction to him roughly rubbing his thumb against my clit as I was clearly not expecting that. He likes this. He loves what he does to me. And with that, he shoves his cock inside of me as deep and as hard as he can go.

I get so lost in everything around me. The look of pure determination on his face as he pounds so forcefully into me. The way the car rocks with each powerful thrust. The mixture of the cold and the humidity and the condensation surrounding us.

He is almost there. I can tell because he repositions himself so he can make sure to hit that spot. His spot. The one that makes me scream his name. He pulls me down further so my ass is completely off the seat and my pussy is at his mercy. He gathers my two hands in his large one as he braces all of them against the window again.

His jaw tighter now be begins plowing into me with powerful thrusts at a frenzied pace. I close my eyes as I feel the white hot burning of my climax as it courses through my body. Every single muscle in my body tenses and trembles as I receive him. The hold my teeth have on my lip is beyond painful, but I have to admit that it hurts so fucking good. With one last rough thrust and a deep grunt, Edward explodes inside of me before collapsing and covering my entire body with his.

Short of breath and our chests heaving, Edward and I stare at each other for awhile. Our bodies are sated and satisfied and our hearts and heads are completely in sync. We lie in the backseat for a couple more hours. Laughing and talking, making plans and forming the foundations of our foreseeable future, as well as our forever.

* * *

**A/N: So a smidge sad, but it certainly puts things into perspective for our favorite couple... Smitten, smitten, smitten - just how we like them... Hmmm... How about an EPOV next chapter - yes? *nods* Good - because it's time to head to Forks to meet Charles in Charge...**

**So tonight, I wanted to do something a bit different... Thus far, my experience as a first time fic author has been awesome! I've received amazing support and encouragement all around - so I wanted to pay it forward to a few other first time fic authors. So I give you my Like A Virgin Fic Rec list - all authors are popping their fic writing cherry - please check them out and show them some love:**

**Barefoot in Texas by planetblue - just completed and absolutely fantastic**  
**One Lonely Night by kitchmill - deliciously sweet E/B combination - lemons aplenty**  
**Second Chances by theinfinitexsadness - has it all - love, loss, and our favorite 'L' of all - lemons**  
**Tequila Sunrise by 2old4fanfic - laugh out loud funny and holy lemons (PS - I call dibs on this Emmett, js)**

**Thanks as always to all who have read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, rec'd and lurked this fic! See you next week!**


	20. Chapter 20 - Home

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Let's find out what's on our favorite dirty boy's mind… **

* * *

Chapter 20 – Home

EPOV

In honor of the fact that finals are over and we are free to do as we damn well please until summer session begins, Bella and I are doing a little celebrating. And by celebrating, I mean that my beautiful girl has my cock in her tiny, little hand stroking it roughly.

"Fuck!" I grunt as I place my arms behind my head and enjoy the hand-job that will surely end in a happy ending for me.

I close my eyes enjoying the feel of her hand as she jerks and rolls her thumb over the head. Goddamn she knows just what I need. She catches me off guard though when she bends down and takes my head into her mouth, sucking the knob hard and flicking the tip of her tongue over my slit. I swear I just about fuckin' spear her face with my cock as I jump slightly. My Bella doesn't miss a beat though, working that cock over. I love her aggressive approach. The only thing hotter than Bella giving it up is Bella getting hers.

Upping the ante, she climbs on top of my face and continues to suck my dick like a boss, albeit from a new angle. In all of our months together, we have yet to sixty-nine. I imagine this is a first for her since her ex, the fuckin' choir boy, probably fucked her through a hole in a sheet or something, so oral definitely wasn't on the menu.

I lap at that pussy like its food for the starving, pulling her further down on my face. My girl moans a little when the scruff on my chin roughly rubs against her clit. She probably doesn't even realize that she is rocking back and forth to hit that spot again. I have other plans for her though as I point and pierce her tight little opening with my tongue.

_Meanwhile, south of the border… _Bella is taking my dick as deep as her throat will allow. Sucking and slurping sloppily as she grips the base of my cock and jerks it with short swift strokes. After several minutes she decides that play time is over because she's ready to go.

I whimper at the loss as I watch her crawl forward and turn her body to face me, lining her pretty little kitty up for a ride on the Kraken. I love her name for me. It's especially accurate for the monster today because he wants to tear her up. Bella isn't fucking around either as she sinks down my length until her thighs are resting flush against my pelvic bone. She throws her head back and lets out a loud moan with her full lips making a beautiful 'O'.

Motherfucking heaven ladies and gentlemen. I swear on all that is holy that her little patch of pink heaven was created just for me. I internally fist pump as I look down between us, because I don't even see a single centimeter of my dick. She lowers her head with her eyes still closed as she chews that lip again. She begins rolling her hips, grinding on my base, enjoying my cock inside her.

I grip her thighs to encourage that shit, but ultimately I just end up raising and lowering her up and down my shaft. This is my favorite part. I love watching my girl getting all worked up as she reaches up and grabs her hair before bringing them down to gather her tits in her hands. I have to clench my jaw to hold back some of the depraved shit I want to say to her. But it's _my Bella_, so I dial it back a bit and go with something a little more generic.

"Agghh, fuck yeah!" I rasp before I beg. "Touch yourself for me, baby doll."

Bella gives me a sexy smile as she begins to tweak and pull at her pretty little nipples and arches her back in offering.

"Like this, Edward?" She asks, her voice is sweet and sugary and goes straight to my cock.

I nod appreciatively enjoying the view immensely.

"Or do you want me to do this?" She questions as one of her hands trail down to pinch and rub her sensitive little nub.

_This girl is going to be the death of me. _I nod my head profusely because if I talk right now she is going to realize the crazy levels of depravity that my mind goes to when it comes to her. Watching intently as she rides me, her eyes snap to mine and they glimmer with a wicked gleam. She puts her hands on either side of my head and lowers herself until her mouth is at my ear.

"Can we try something new, baby? She asks in a whisper.

She doesn't wait for me to answer, she just pulls off the bed and walks over to the tall arm of the chaise, standing and leaning over it with her perfect ass in the air and that wicked smile looking back at me through her reflection in the mirror.

I must look like a goddamn cartoon character because I jump out of that bed so fast and am behind her and plunging into her a split second later. I am going to town on her pussy, just pounding the shit out of it, so imagine my surprise when Bella starts making some demands.

"FUCK! Harder, Edward!" She yells before elaborating slowly. "Ugh. Harder!"

That's a funny thing about my Bella. When she is like this – she has no idea how loud she is. My roommates call her _Yell-a_. They know better than to ever say that shit to her face, my baby doll would be fuckin' mortified if people knew how she likes to get down sometimes.

I run my hand up her back and wrap her hair around my fist. I think she expects me to bring her up so she can arch her back. _'Sorry sweetheart'_ I think to myself as I nudge her head forward to rest on the chair so she is just about folded in half and continue to slam into her.

Her moans and pants and whimpers are spurring me on. I can tell her pussy is about thirty seconds from locking down on my cock, wrapping tightly around me. I shorten my strokes, fast and shallow.

I see Bella gripping the cushion with her eyes scrunched tight, biting that lip to hold back her screams. I swear I start speaking in tongues as she clamps down around me. I can feel myself shoot and soak us both in the process as I cover her body with mine panting.

After a while my dick falls out of her and more than likely counts the seconds until he can get back in her. My baby doll is exhausted so we head back to the bed to take a nap before Emmett's Tequila Thursday party starts tonight.

I hop into bed first and open my arms so she can rest her head on my chest. This girl. She's a perfect fit as she snuggles into my side. Soothing me as she traces her finger up and down my ribs, I can't help but bury my face in her hair. My girl conks out instantly, snoring softly. It's nice to see her face soften when she sleeps given all the craziness and stress going on around her. I fucking love this girl. I smile thinking about a conversation I had with my dad when we went golfing last week.

_Dad is sitting in the cart, smoking a cigar and drinking. I love golfing with my old man. He has a few then starts waxing intellectual on love and life and finding 'the one'. If I had a quarter for every time I heard 'You know, your mother and I…' But really I grew up believing that no couple in the whole wide world was better suited for each other than my mom and dad. And then I found Bella. I turn towards dad as he starts talking. _

"_Son, it's like this" he starts before inhaling his cigar deeply and blowing smoke circles. "When you find the one, you'll know it immediately. If you're lucky, she'll be funnier than you 'cause that shit makes a difference in good times and bad, lemme tell ya'. If you're real lucky, she'll be smarter than you too so you will always have a challenge, especially if she's a ball buster."_

_He smiles at that last comment and takes another drag. He exhales deeply and points to me with his cigar. "And if you are really, really lucky, she will love you back just as much, if not more."_

_Teeing up my shot, I think about what he said. There is no way my Bella could ever love me as much as I love her. It would crush her under its weight._

"_Now son, step up and drive the ball like you've got a pair. I want to win the Father's Day tourney this year. If I have to hear Aro bragging about him and his prick kid winning it again, I will punch him in his throat."_

I try not to laugh as Bella stirs a little and lets out a cute little snort. He's right though. Nothing compares to this. To her. I kiss her forehead gently as I watch her sleep and hope she starts talking again. She says the most interesting things when she sleeps. Last night she told me that my 'feet smell like fritos'. She may be right. I chuckle softly at that thought and then snuggle closer to her.

We sleep for about an hour before Bella's phone starts ringing incessantly. It won't stop so I am guessing that it is my mom calling for another play-date with my girlfriend. Bella finally grabs it yawning her greeting. She snaps to it real quick, jumping up and getting dressed all the while assuring the caller that she'll be right there before ending the call.

"What's wrong?" I ask sitting up, alarmed.

She is focusing on slipping on her shoes as she says the name that we've avoided for the past week and a half. _Senior._

I offer to drive her to the hospital, but she declines saying that she's not sure when she will be back so I offer her my keys which she accepts gratefully. My girl is trying so hard to keep herself together. I go to hold her and she lets me for a moment before she brushes me off giving me a small peck on the cheek. I walk her to the car and watch as she drives away. Her little chin is jutting out and her lips are all scrunched up. I call it her Tough Nuts face. Probably won't mention that nickname to her either.

I go to head back to bed and catch up on some sleep. Shit's probably going to get crazy tonight since it is one of the last parties of the year. Emmett's in the kitchen putting the keg on ice, telling Ty and Felix that he is gonna put the song 'Tequila' on loop so everyone will shout it in unison all night. He truly is the best kind of idiot.

~~IYR~~

Several hours later, my phone starts blaring. I made sure to put it across the room so I'd get my lazy ass up to answer. Sure enough it's a hospital number and my baby doll sounds heartbroken.

"I need to go to Forks tonight." She says despondently.

"We'll go." I correct, hoping that I am not overstepping my bounds here.

"Really?" She asks, somewhat surprised which puzzles me.

"Yeah. I will pack and jump in the shower. I'll be ready when you get here."

"Thanks Edward." She whispers gratefully.

I rush up the stairs to find Tanya and Rose so I can let them know what's going on. The party is in full swing and just as Emmett hoped, all of the drunken partygoers are screaming "Tequila" in time with the song. Jake, Tyler, Tanya and Jasper are playing a heated game of beer pong. Alice is wearing a sombrero that is wider than she is tall. Emmett is pouring tortilla chips in the brim of said sombrero and instructing her to make the rounds for the guests while Rose giggles incessantly with her new gal pals Irina and Chelsea.

Rose and Alice are clearly shitfaced, so I pull Tanya aside and let her know what's going down and to fill the girls in as I need to go shower and pack for the trip to Forks. She gives me a drunken hug and tells me how good I am for her girl. I turn around and there's Heidi looking smug, expectant and really strung out. I don't even acknowledge her presence as I head back down to my room. I lock the door just in case she gets any ideas.

I pack quickly and hit the bathroom to shower and shave. Meeting Bella's dad is a big fuckin' deal. Emmett and Ty met him and they say he's cool. But they forget that he carries a gun, and although I am madly in love with his daughter, the chief probably won't like that I know her in the biblical sense… a lot. Probably not the best idea to think about this while shaving.

After a few minutes in the shower, I hear a knock on my bedroom door. Bella must be a fuckin' wreck. I rinse off real quick so I can answer the door. I wrap a towel around my waist and rush out of the bathroom dripping water everywhere.

"Baby are you o-?" I start but I am stopped dead in my tracks as Heidi leans in holding the door frame.

She is sniffing and trying to get her balance as she starts to approach.

"What do you want?" I ask, unable to mask the annoyance in my voice.

"Aww, Eddie. Don't be like that." She giggles and starts to try to finger my chest. "Don't you miss me, sugar?"

"No, I don't." I answer quickly, coldly and honestly as I push her hand away.

"But aren't we friends?" She asks in a baby voice with a pout.

"Not really, now get the fuck out." I tell her as I shut the door in her face.

She pushes back on the door and the sex kitten act is over and here comes the cokehead.

"Can't talk to your friends anymore, Eddie? Did the little bookworm bitch forbid it?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose in frustration. I will never understand what I saw in this broad. She is a crazy, hot mess. And the fact that she just called my Bella a bitch makes me want to toss her out on the curb like the trash she is. She's got me in a bad position here. Me, in a towel, with her advancing. Not a good look for me.

"I am serious, Heidi. Get out!" I shout, making sure to keep my voice indifferent to hide the growing panic that she is going to try to fuck things up for me with Bella.

She smiles at me, daring me to do something.

"Get the fuck out!" I say as I forcibly remove her hands from the door and nudge her into the hallway. She latches onto my hands and starts up the psycho talk again.

"So aggressive. I miss that, Eddie." She coos. "I know you miss me too, baby."

"Trust me, he doesn't." Says a voice from the top of the stairs.

There stands my Bella taking in the scene before her. My eyes go wide and I open my mouth to explain that this isn't what it looks like except Heidi beats me to the punch.

"Well hey there bookworm." She greets her with a condescending smirk as she leans back against the laundry room door as if I have her pinned there.

"Bella, this isn't what it looks like. She…" I start only to be cut off by Heidi.

"Yes it is." She says with a scary as fuck smile on her face. "This is exactly what it looks like."

I can't read Bella's face other than the fact that it's angry and calculating and oddly hot as hell. I hear a slight commotion and realize that Bella is now flanked by a very drunk sombrero rocking Alice.

Bella crosses her arms across her chest. She hasn't looked at me once; her eyes are on Heidi who is fucking daring her to make a move with that smug mug of hers.

"Bella, I swear. Nothing happened, she tried to come in while I was in the ..." This time it is Bella who silences me with a hand, and addresses the cokehead in the room.

"You have to the count of five to get the fuck out, before I personally drag you out by the hair. One." Bella says, cold as ice.

You can cut the tension in the air with a knife. We are about thirty seconds from a full on girl fight. And here I am, wearing a towel, staring at my fuckhot, angry girlfriend, and maybe… getting a chubby.

_'Please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner'_ I begin to chant in my head. After ten seconds of pleading and sporting a semi, I realize I am going to have to take drastic measures. I pinch the bridge of my nose and think of hard-on killers. Shaving Emmett's back. Popping the whitehead on the back of Jake's neck. Tyler's dick slang dance. There we go, semi crisis averted.

Heidi is still unmoving, goading my girl to put her money where her mouth is. She tilts her head and smiles widely.

"Two."

"You aren't going to do shit, bookworm!" She challenges walking halfway up the stairs.

"Three."

Suddenly Tanya and Rose are behind a wobbly Alice. Heidi knows now that she is severely outnumbered in both bodies and pure crazy. She turns to me one last time.

"I'll see you soon, sugar."

"Four."

She reaches Bella at the top of the stairs and stares her down for a moment before pushing past the girls to head out the back door.

"Thanks, dolls." Bella says quietly over her shoulder as she makes her way down to my room.

I shut the door behind us and wrap my arms around her hugging her so fucking tightly.

"You have to believe me, Bella. Nothing happened! I swear, she…" She cuts me off with two fingers to my lips.

"Stop! I know. You wouldn't. Won't. You would never do that to me." She says softly, clearing her throat before continuing. "To us."

I need to gently remove my tampon because at that moment I instantly turn into a chick. My fuckin' heart is swelling with mad love for this girl. I have to beat down some of the sissy shit that I want to say to her. Just to be sure that I have not grown a vagina in the past 5 minutes, I reach down to check that I still have a cock and balls. I am glad to find that they are still there, just hanging - short, shriveled and to the left.

I still feel the need to explain, but I get a real good look at how sad my baby doll is and I know that getting her to Forks needs to be my first priority. So I kiss her forehead and tell her a quiet 'thank you'.

~~IYR~~

Bella sleeps through the entire drive to Forks. We make pretty good time and arrive just before midnight. I drive down the main drag and wonder how someone as amazing as my girl could ever come from some place so simple.

I recognize some of the landmarks that she has mentioned. I drive by the diner that her dad eats at every single day. Bella alleges that the diner serves the very best blueberry cobbler in the Pacific-Northwest. _We'll see about that_.

I also drive by the police station. I laugh as I remember Bella telling me that her dad is not a fan of her dating. Apparently he lives to scare the shit out of anyone who has ever taken a romantic interest in her. I remember Bella's story about the Chief taking her ex into the interrogation room and then driving him around town in the back of his squad car - priceless. According to Bella, to this day Newton is terrified of her dad. I am glad for the preparation, I like to know what to expect.

"Baby, wake up. We're here!" I say, nudging her lightly as we pull up to her house.

I gather up the luggage as she stretches and we head up to the house. My girl is staggering slightly out of pure exhaustion. She practically falls through the front door. The Chief is up out of his recliner and is hugging Bella and a hot second later eyeballing me over her head. I swear I see his mustache twitch as he sizes me up. This isn't going to be fun at all. Bella releases him and I take this as my cue extending my hand to him.

"Hello." I pause, trying to find a voice manly enough to impress this guy. "I'm Edward Cullen."

He gives me a firm handshake as he eyes me shiftily. Bella launches into what she is doing tomorrow as she and Jessica have a plan in place. For the first time since our arrival, the Chief smiles. Unfortunately, it ain't one of those warm and fuzzy smiles, no; I am talking like a scary serial killer smile.

"Great! Edwin and I can get to know each other." He says before looking at me "Do you like to fish, Edwin?

"Edward, Dad! His name is Edward!" Bella snaps and warns him with a brow.

He rolls his eyes and starts again. "Ya' wanna go fishing, _Edward?_"

"Sure. What time do you want to head out?" I ask hoping I sound eager and not like a kiss ass.

"Four AM sharp." He says, pointing to the couch. "You'll sleep there. Bathroom is over there. And under no circumstances are you to be upstairs at any point during this visit."

"DAD!" Bella shouts smacking the front of her legs like she is chastising a dog.

"I understand, sir." I reply easily.

He gives me a nod and grunts as he begins walking up the stairs before turning to speak again.

"Four AM. Bells, you should turn in too."

Bella nods and smiles. "You got it Chief."

His pornstache twists trying to hold back a smile. "It's good to have you home, baby."

The moment is sweet until he looks at me again like Jack Byrnes from Meet the Parents. There is a 90% possibility that I will be hooked up to a lie detector test tomorrow, I am almost sure of it. Of course Bella chooses this moment to wrap her arms around my waist, effectively signing my death warrant. My gal is fragile tonight, so instead of pulling her further into me, I give her an awkward shoulder pat. It's like I am saying 'Nice catch, pal' or something equally non-sexual.

Her dad just grunts and stomps up the stairs. Dare I say I may have scored a point or two with that move?

~~IYR~~

Ever feel like you are being watched? I am still a bit groggy, but I feel eyes on me. I am slightly afraid to open them and find Bella beginning her 'Wednesday Wake-up Special'. _God, I love Wednesdays._ This would be really bad though. Last night after Bella went to bed, the Chief came back down to turn the light on in his ginormous gun cabinet. Yes, _on_. I am surprised he didn't call me over to look at them and tell me the amount of blood spatter and body matter removal each could cause. Sleep didn't come particularly easy.

I still can't shake the feeling that someone is watching me. Opening my eyes, I sit up and notice the Chief is in his recliner in full fishing gear and serial killer game face on.

"Good morning, sir." I say, my voice still a little groggy from sleep.

He grunts. I swear, I think Bella's dad is the inspiration for Billy Bob Thornton's character in _Slingblade_.

"We're leaving in ten minutes." He says as he gets up and heads out the door.

I hop into his vintage Ford pick-up which is pulling a mid-sized motorized fishing boat behind it. I remain quiet until he speaks first. We drive a good ways out of town and I start to wonder if I should activate the GPS on my phone so my mom and dad can locate my remains.

We finally pull up to a lake and get the boat in the water. Then he proceeds to park the truck in the parking spot furthest from the dock in a completely empty lot. I hop out and start to unload the gear.

The Chief gets out and pops a toothpick in his mouth and starts to stretch.

"Would you mind loading up the boat for me, Edwin?" He says as he stretches his arms over his head. "Bad back and all."

"Sure thing, Chief." I say like the pussy that I am.

I take the tackle box, the rods and the cooler and start the trek to the boat. I swear there are bricks in the cooler and tackle box. I am fuckin' sweating my ass off by the time I reach the boat. I notice the Chief is still there by the truck, so I head back to see what I missed.

I take a look in the truck bed and don't see any other fishing gear so I look up at him hopefully. "I think I have it all, you ready to go?"

"We need these too, Edwin." He says cryptically as he removes a tarp covering two cinder blocks and a large chain with a heavy duty pad lock.

I try not to react and swallow back the urge to scream like a little bitch for someone, anyone to help me. I look at him and he is smirking. He is smirking _my Bella's_ smirk. I see that and my resolve returns as I pick up the blocks and the chain.

I hear him following me as the gravel kicks up under our feet. We get to the boat and he has me sit in the seat closest to the bow. The cinder blocks and chains sit in between us. I wait for him to fire up the motor, but instead he hands me two oars.

"Motor doesn't work." He mutters with a small shrug and that smug ass grin on his face as he crosses his arms.

_I love Bella. I love Bella. I love Bella._ I chant this over and over in my head as I row myself and fuckin' Dexter into the middle of this God-forsaken lake.

We are having a staring contest apparently. I hate to lose. _Game on Chuck, game fucking on!_

The Chief begins the interrogation asking about my schooling, grades, home life, family, any prior arrests, any outstanding warrants and the like. He stops and thanks me for answering honestly as he's already had a full blown background check run on me.

"What are your intentions with my daughter, Edwin?" He asks seriously.

"I love your daughter, sir." I say and the sincerity is obvious to even my ears.

He doesn't move, just stares, and the mustache stares at me too. I inhale deeply through my nose and gently place the oars down securely. I lean my forearms to my knees so he knows I am about to level with him.

"I love Bella, Chief. I fully intend to have it all with her if she will have me." I say, noticing he still looks unmoved.

"How can you be so sure, Edwin?" He asks skeptically, tilting his head.

I shrug because who could explain the crazy connection she and I have.

"She is everything to me, sir. She makes me happier than I ever thought possible." I say matter of factly.

"It's just… You seem like… A bit of a pussy, Edwin. Are you wearin' panties underneath those pants, boy?" He goads, daring me to lose my cool.

_Oh no, Charles Swan. I don't have a pussy – I have a kraken, or so your daughter tells me. _I snicker at my thought and stare out at the water.

"I get it Chief. There is probably no one on this earth who loves that girl more than you." I say before turning and looking him straight in the eyes. "Except for me. I will give her a good life, sir. I will support every dream she has. I will more than likely come to agree with every bat shit crazy thing she says. Make no mistake, sir, her happiness is everything to me."

He nods a little so I know I am on the right track. He needs to see a little backbone from me, so I go with the whole Tommy Boy approach saying something crazy like, 'I can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking my head up a cow's ass – but I'd rather take the butcher's word for it', just to show him I mean business.

"I know how much Bella loves you, sir. You are her pedestal person, and I completely respect that. If you feel it necessary to bust my balls so that I gain your acceptance – so be it. But, just consider this while you have your fun. Bella will be my wife one day and that alone guarantees you a father-in-law suite and a private nurse because she would never send you away to a nursing home. Now, that being said, keep in mind that the only thing guaranteeing your private nurse being a pretty young thing and not Kathy Bates from Misery will depend on your ability to just call me 'Edward'."

I give him a wink as if to say 'chew on that.'

He stares at me for a long time before he lets out a long, low whistle. "Goddamn, boy! You have balls the size of church bells!" He says with a laugh and reaches out to shake my hand. "I like that! Edward, call me Charlie!"

We shake hands with a newfound respect for each other. He then turns around and starts the motor to the boat, shrugging sheepishly when he sees the disbelieving look on my face.

"Let's go get some grub!" He says as he steers the boat back to shore.

"Don't you want to fish?" I ask, somewhat confused.

"Hell no, Sue is working this morning, gotta get a seat in her section. If there is one thing you need to know about Charlie Swan, it's this: _Women want me, fish fear me_."

~~ IYR ~~

The diner has about eight tables and all of them are in Sue's section.

"I gotta drain the lizard." Charlie says as he heads back to the restroom.

I hear the bells on the door ring as someone enters the diner. I look up and notice Mike and Jessica standing in the entryway, staring at me. She sits at the counter while he makes his way over to the table and extends his hand.

"I just wanted to say thank you for helping to get my dad in with Dr. Aro and Dr. Eleazar." He says, his voice sounds a bit hoarse.

"No problem. I –a, I'm sorry about your dad, man. Just, so sorry for your loss." I say awkwardly.

He nods and motions to the seat to ask if he can sit.

"Yeah, sure." I mutter, wondering why on earth he would ever want to sit across from me.

"Your help bought him a lot of time which we are grateful for. I am serious, I can't thank you enough."

I nod again, not wanting to slip the proverbial panties back on by having a moment with Bella's ex.

"I want to let you know about something that I saw the other day. That prick Alec, he was, I don't even know what to call it. It wasn't even hitting on her, it was more like harassing her. I walked in and it looked like he was trying to corner her. I told him to get the fuck out. Bella was a bit shook up, but tried to play it off. You know how she is – suffer in silence type and all."

As I listen intently to what he is telling me, my thoughts and emotions run the gamut. Pissed beyond belief that Bella didn't tell me about this incident. Gratitude toward her ex for looking out for her and then having the good sense to come tell me about it. Annoyance that he says the words 'you know how she is'. Murderous as I think of what I plan to do to Alec the next time I see him.

He is sitting there, waiting for my reaction. I wish I could decide on how to react.

"Thanks for looking out for my girl." I say as I reach out to shake his hand again. Yeah sure, I pissed on her leg a bit, but he should be grateful I don't punch him in the face for the shit he said to her on the quad that night. It's his lucky day in that respect, I guess.

And with that, he rises, gives a head nod to myself and the Chief and goes to sit at the counter with his girlfriend.

The Chief and I continue to hang out and bond throughout the day. He takes me to the barbershop, introduces me to all of the guys. The place reminds me of the barbershop my dad and I went to in Chicago. Lots of sports talk and ball busting.

That night, Bella makes us a fantastic dinner. We all sit around watching the Mariner's game, drinking Vitamin R. Life with Bella is good, and it just got a little better with her gun-toting, scary as fuck father and his mustache.

~~ IYR ~~

The funeral is a rather interesting and sad affair. It is clear that Senior was a good man and adored by his family and this community. I may or may not have had to clear my throat and look up at the ceiling to prevent tears from shedding during Mrs. Newton's eulogy. She speaks of love and living in the moment, saying what you mean, and never forgetting how precious each day with the one you love is. I can't help but love Bella more when she grips my hand a little tighter during parts of the eulogy that seem to speak to her.

Charlie's eyes are on our hands as well. He quirks his brow as a silent reminder of the promise I made to not fornicate with his little girl within his jurisdiction. I give him a small nod letting him know that I remember.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about this funeral is watching Bella with Mrs. Newton. Bella is typically kind to everyone, but Mrs. Newton is obviously someone Bella reveres. I can't help but hope that she and Mom will be as close one day. And neither can my mom for that matter.

After the burial, we attend a small gathering at the local VFW that goes well into the evening and from there we say our goodbyes to the Newton family and Charlie. Mike pulls Bella aside. I can hear him thanking her profusely for all she has done and how wonderful she is for helping Jessica and his mom with everything. He and I shake hands as he thanks me again.

"Don't forget to take care of that little problem." He reminds me before he releases my hand.

I can't say I like the guy, but I can tell that he is genuinely a friend to her. He and I won't forge an easy friendship, but for her, I'll make it work. Watching Bella say goodbye to the Chief is almost as heartbreaking as watching her bawl her face off while hugging Mrs. Newton. We will see him in a couple of weeks for Father's Day.

"Edward," Charlie says as he shakes my hand. "Take care of our girl, son."

"I will, Chief." I say sincerely.

The Chief called me 'son'. This is promising. It's a pretty cool thing to be called that by Charlie Swan – the man, the myth… the mustache. We aren't even five miles out of town and my Bella has her hand on my thigh and her lips at my ear.

"There is a meadow about a mile from here I'd like to show you." She says as she runs her hands dangerously close to the Kraken and her tongue is dancing over the shell of my ear.

Must. Maintain. Control.

"Can Charlie arrest us there?" I ask praying that this meadow is beyond his reach.

She backs away smiling and nods her head yes.

Damn.

"I just thought you'd like a little romp in the grass with your girlfriend, but if you like treating me like your kid sister so much, I guess I can live with that." She baits me smiling.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." I say as I grab her hand and pull it to my lips. "There will be nothing sisterly about the way I will touch you when I get you home."

I hear her breath hitch and notice her thighs rub together. We ride in comfortable silence for a while, just listening to the iPod. I can feel her eyes on me as I drive.

"What's on your mind, baby doll?"

She fidgets slightly. "I had a weird thing happen at the hospital the other day."

I nod. "Alec?"

I can feel her eyes roll. "Mike already told you?"

"Yes. All he said was that he had you cornered and he told him to leave." I reply looking to her to corroborate the story.

"Pretty much." She says as she brings her knees to her chest.

"Pretty much?" I give her a reprimanding look.

"Same old shit, Edward. It's like he is trying to get a rise out of me, it's weird. And don't worry, Mike went ballistic enough for the both of you so I doubt he will be messing with me anytime soon."

I'm curious about Mike's level of bat shit, but I can tell she wants me to drop it. She's probably right, hearing about her ex defending her honor kind of makes me crazy.

"My old babysitter, Emily used to live in that house right there." She says, clearly wanting a subject change as she sits up in her seat pointing out the window.

"The one who adopted the little boy?" I ask for clarification.

She looks at me slowly and nods as I recognize my error. I never told her about the day I decided that I wanted her for my own. The day she unknowingly stole my heart with her smile and excitement for a little orphaned boy. The kickass cupcakes helped too.

"The day I knew that you were the one I wanted. It was her little boy's Gotcha Day." I say quietly.

She nods and clearly wants me to continue so I clear my throat and begin my confession.

"I just got back from my parent's house. I was still in a funk from everything that went down over Christmas break. I heard all the guys laughing upstairs so I went to see what was going on and then I heard your voice. It took me a minute to place it since we've never really hung out much." I tell her as I glance her way, "But I've always thought you were just a fuckin' knock-out. So like the stalker I am, I sat at the top of the stairs and watched you."

I watch her just to make sure my stalker tendencies aren't upsetting her and she has a little smirk on her face which is good. I'm glad she doesn't think I'm a nutjob. She turns to me and gives me a little head nod, encouraging me to continue.

"Anyway, you were bouncing around the kitchen, baking up a storm and talking all about this little boy your friend adopted that day. You were baking for his Gotcha Day celebration that his new parents were throwing for him that night. I've met very few people who do a "Gotcha Day" as big as you and my mom. You two are on a whole 'nother level." I say with a laugh.

Bella smiles and looks down. I think she is remembering that day too.

"You have to understand, as an adopted kid, that day is just amazing and wonderful and a little bit scary as hell not to mention overwhelming. Normally, I'd say that you would just have to know how desperately Esme and Carlisle wanted me to understand where I am coming from. But it's like you knew. You got it. You knew that this day was going to change all of their lives. And the fact that you wanted to make it perfect for them, for some kid you never met just made you fuckin' perfect to me."

_For me_ – I add in my head. I have to check my mirrors and clear my throat so I don't start crying like a bitch just thinking about my mom and dad and all they went through before they adopted me.

"And then to hear you shooting the shit with my friends... I had no idea at the time how fuckin' funny and smart you are. I mean, even Felix was talking. You know that Felix has only ever talked to me one time in the two years I've known him and that time was when we first started dating. It was to tell me that I'd better be good to you."

She nods at this as she knows all about Felix. Felix is Tyler's best friend since just about birth. He is massive; I mean 6'8" and about 300 lbs of pure fuckin' muscle. He plays football with Em and Ty, but he didn't get his scholarship for football. He's got a brilliant mind, some kind of Good Will Hunting shit on the science tip. The only thing is that he has a paralyzing stutter. He only speaks when absolutely necessary, or if he is comfortable with the person or the group. He's just a real good guy.

"Either way, most normal guys would be like I want a girl 'like' her. But not me." I say shaking my head. "For some reason I got it in my head that it was you and you alone that I needed. The kicker for me though came when you set aside a plate of cupcakes for me with a little note after Tyler told you I wasn't feeling well or something. Covering for my broody ass as usual."

She laughs a little at that. I look at her seriously for a moment.

"Do you remember what you wrote on the note, Bella?" I ask and she immediately shakes her head no.

I stare straight ahead at the road. "I still have it hanging on my bulletin board in my room. I'm surprised you haven't seen it. You wrote 'Especially for Edward – Happy Gotcha Day'. I don't know. I guess I looked at it like it was some kind of sign, you know."

She's quiet for a bit, but I can feel her staring a hole into the side of my face. She leans over and places a long sweet kiss on my cheek and holds my hand just a bit tighter. And so begins the longest hour of my existence because I cannot wait to get my girl home.

~~ IYR ~~

About five minutes from my house, Bella begins her approach. Running her fingers through my hair, rubbing her hands over my thigh, kissing my neck. This girl drives me crazy. We pull up to a full house and I remember receiving a text from Em that we are having some kind of after hour soirée.

I barely have the key out of the ignition and we are full on running through the muddy backyard to the door. She's fast, but I catch up and throw her over my shoulder and hustle down the stairs as she giggles and smacks my ass.

The once blaring music from upstairs becomes muffled as I slam the door behind us. I make sure to lock it before I put Bella on her feet and back her up to the door.

I kiss the shit out of my girl for the first time in days. I think I hear my baby doll growl a bit as she pulls my head down to deepen the kiss. I smile as she hungrily sucks on my lips and tongue before forcing her own in my mouth.

My hands are all over her body, reacquainting themselves with her curves and softness. I get my hands under that shirt and start running my fingers over her tits, plucking and working them over like only I know how. Bella moans as I pinch and pull on her nipples and responds in kind by shoving her hand down my pants and gripping my cock.

We taunt and tease each other, trying to work the other up further and further. She breaks first pulling her shirt off then reaching for my fly. I put my arms above her and hold myself against the wall, watching as she roughly tries to slip the clothing from my body. She brings my boxer briefs down to my ankles along with my pants. And while she's down there, she runs her tongue up my shaft and sucks hard on my tip. I grab the back of her neck gently and guide that pretty little mouth of hers back up to my lips.

I kiss her hard for a few moments before I slink down her body to pull her pants off, much the same as she did mine. She spreads her legs once they are free of her pants and underwear, begging me to touch her where she wants me the most. On my way up I run my fingertips up her legs and thighs. One hand continues up to her ribs, the other hand buries two fingers into her tight little pussy. I hear my Bella gasp a bit before she starts rolling those hips and grinding down on my fingers until they hit the spot. She looks sexy as fuck with her eyes closed and biting' that lower lip. I swipe my tongue over it until she releases it and suck that pretty little thing into my mouth.

I am knuckle deep in her pussy and I can feel Bella starting to shiver and tremble a bit as I put my mouth around her nipple.

"Fuck!" She yells as she accidentally slams her head back into the wall in ecstasy.

I can feel her reaching around, wanting to work my cock in her hand, but I have other plans for my baby doll as I remove my fingers from inside of her and grab the backs of her thighs to hold her up against the wall.

It's time for my Bella to get a new first I think to myself as I pick her up and line my cock up with her entrance. I slam into her against the wall and my girl goes crazy. I can feel her nails digging into my scalp. I stay still for a minute inside of her, I don't know, basking in her warmth or some shit like that.

My throbbing forearms remind me that I need to get to thrusting, so I do. I damn near pull out before I thrust back into her and set a hard and fast pace. We try to kiss, but that's just not working so we are basically just grunting and groaning into each other's mouths.

_Yell-a_ is in the house tonight.

I am a pussy because my arms are killing me, so I carry her over to the bed a little bummed that the wall banging portion of our evening is over. But I still have a ton of fucking to do so I get to it putting her knees on my shoulders and pinning her arms above her head.

I drive into her like a goddamn mad man as my girl pants and screams obscenities beneath me.

"Yes! Fuck! Yes, Edward!" She yells tilting her pelvis up to take more of what I am giving her. "Fuck me! Ugh!"

I close my eyes and just listen to the sounds she's making and the craziness she is spewing. My Bella wants to get dirty tonight, so I lean forward and speak directly in her ear.

"You wanna get fucked, baby doll?" I say, trying to drop my voice a bit. This usually works on her, I am pretty sure it is one of my signature moves.

I can hear her breathing pick up a bit and she nods and starts blurting out gibberish, but I think I hear a few 'yes pleases'. Blame it on the fact that I am a sick fuck and I love it when I can get her to say dirty things out loud so I continue to whisper in her ear.

"You want this cock, Bella?" I say smiling because she is nodding her head profusely and her breathing continues to falter. "Say it! Tell me exactly what you want me to do with this cock!"

I smile as I look down at her, watching as my words make her baser desires kick in. I am a bit surprised to see her expression is calculating and just a wee bit smug. She catches me off guard when she grabs the back of my hair and pulls my ear down to her lips and sucks my earlobe into her mouth.

"You want me to be your dirty girl, Edward? Hmm?" She asks condescendingly. "You like hearing dirty words out of your good little girl's mouth?"

Completely taken aback, all I can do is nod.

Bella smacks her hand on my ass and pulls me in deeper and holds me there. I can feel her tightening her pussy around me and I swear my head is going to fucking explode. Both of them. Bella is firmly in control now; though I am not sure I ever had control to begin with.

"Fine, Edward. I'll be your dirty girl." She says in the sexiest fucking baby soft voice I've ever heard. "I want you to take your cock…"

She pauses and sucks on my earlobe some more. Her breathing gets a little labored and I am not sure if her confidence is faltering or if what she is going to say is going to blow my fucking mind and quite possibly, my load.

"Mmm… I want you to take your cock and fuck my pussy like you own it!"

_WHO THE FUCK IS UNDERNEATH ME?_ I ask myself, although I am a bit surprised that my inner monologue sounded a bit like Chris Rock there.

Bella's seductive smile teases me, but I know she is proud of herself. Fine sweetheart! You wanna get fucked by the Mayor of Crazytown. Well here he is and he has a key to your city.

I rear back and grab the corner of the mattress and the top of the headboard and fuckin' slam into her.

Every crazy thing I've ever wanted to say comes out like word vomit. I don't even know what the fuck I am saying. I am pretty sure I throw out a few 'take that cock's', maybe a 'gimme that pussy' here and there. I know for certain I call that pussy 'mine' repeatedly. Hell, I think I even yell at her to tell me that it _is_ mine. I'm a sick possessive fuck like that.

I am sweating and talking like a pig all over this girl and I'll be goddamned if she isn't fucking loving it. She is moaning and screaming loudly with her legs wrapped around my waist. My fuckin' thighs are burning and trembling and I can feel her tightening around me. After one last thrust I collapse on top of her as my orgasm takes me. My forehead against hers, each of us with our eyes closed savoring that shit.

I roll off my Bella and pull her to my side. And all is right with the world, until it's not.

We hear a huge crash upstairs and a collective gasp and a bunch of screaming. The music that was once blaring above us is silent and all we hear are the shuffling of feet and raised voices. It's the sound of a shit storm brewing upstairs.

* * *

**A/N: Couldn't resist the cliffie – sorry dolls… Back to BPOV next week when the shit hits the fan…**

**Special shout out to Robsessed 1123 for the picspiration behind the lemons this week! **

**Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, rec'd and lurked this fic! You guys are the best!**


	21. Chapter 21 - Kiss With a Fist

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets.**

**Tonight's POVs will alternate between Chocolate Thunder and Bella.  
****Let's get ready to rumble…**

* * *

Chapter 21 – Kiss With a Fist

**CTPOV**

"You want another?" I say to Em as I get off the couch to grab more beer.

"Yeah. Thanks, man," Emmett replies, handing me his 'I Don't Get Drunk, I Get Awesome' beer stein.

His eyes are on Rosalie as she and T attempt to teach Leah how to Dougie. That shit is hard for me to watch, because damn, that girl cannot dance, but not Em. Hell, Rose could be clipping her toe nails with her teeth and that boy would be riveted.

I step into my room and grab a few Heinekens. None of that nasty ass Natural Light we are serving the masses from the kitchen. I see Edward carrying Bella through the backyard and running into the house. I chuckle a bit because I know I am going to be hearing those two tonight. I should probably close the vent while I'm thinking about it. My room is right above his and those two get loud – mostly just Bella but he can holler as well. Tanya and I just sit up here and bug sometimes at the crazy ass shit we hear coming out of their mouths.

But those two are in their own little world. I have to give Edward credit, he seized the moment, man. I feel bad for my boy, Felix, though. He's been in love with Bella since the first semester of freshman year. She was his lab partner. He never said anything but I just knew. A couple of weeks before she and her boyfriend broke up she used our oven to make some treats for a party. Felix watched her like a hawk, even talked to her too. It's a cryin' shame because he never stood a chance once Cullen set his sights on her.

It was the damndest thing when Edward called me to get Tanya's number the night Bella and Mike broke up. He came home acting funny. Pissed off, but happy. Determined even. I remember the first thing he did was snatch Jake's laptop off his lap and sent that girl a friend request.

Once Felix saw them dancing at Edward's birthday party, he knew that ship had sailed for him. I've got mad respect for him though because he shook Edward's hand and told him to be good to her. Hopefully Tanya can come through on setting him up with her girl Angela. She's cute and quiet, a lot like Bella. Well, maybe not like Bella in the bedroom, but an all around good girl.

As I come out of my room, I hang back and lean against the doorway for a while, just people watching. It's what I do. And as always, my eyes find my girl, T. She's laughing with Rose and Leah. I love it. What you see is what you get with my girl. She's wild and fun and smart and damn sexy. She'll beat someone down or bury a body without blinking an eye. She's my down ass chick. Life is fun as fuck with her around.

She catches me looking and gives me her killer smile. She always catches me. Nothing gets by my girl. I tip my beer to her and with that she goes back to her conversation with Leah. Looks like its Rose's turn to fill their girly drinks. Em keeps bottles of that Mike's Lemonade shit for the chicks in his room. Shit, he'd probably stock tampons for those girls if his Rosie asked him to. That boy is pussy whipped.

I start to walk back over to Em to give him his beer when I am cut off by Royce and his boys. We acknowledge each other with a head nod out of courtesy, but I hate those clowns. Seth is tight with Jared. And by tight I mean he's his dealer. As far as I know it's just pot and 'shrooms, standard fare, but I know those guys sell the heavy shit too.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Royce follow Rose into Em's room and shut the door behind him. That smug motherfucker Alec watches him do it too. Something's not right about this. I walk over and try the knob, but it's locked. I start frantically pushing on the door and jiggling the knob. I turn around and yell for Em's attention. He walks over a bit too slowly for my liking so I drop the drinks and push my shoulder into the door.

"What the fuck are you doin', man?" Em yells, putting his palms on either side of his head like I've lost my damn mind.

"Royce has got your girl in there, man!" I snap back as I throw my full weight behind my shoulder this time.

When the door breaks, I see he has Rose against a wall and she is yelling for help. I go to grab that sleazy fucker, but Emmett beats me to him. He's got that son of a bitch off of her and thrown to the ground in a matter of seconds.

I am standing there a bit in shock because damn, Emmett has stone cold lost his mind, beatin' this kid like he owes him money or something. I grab Em so he doesn't kill him just as Jared and Alec run in and pull Royce out of the room. That fucker is smiling, taunting my boy as he gets dragged out by his crew of bitches. Tan slips in and pulls a screaming Rose into her arms. Rose is frantic, trying to explain, but Em knows she would never do that to him.

I can't contain Em, I can't seem to get my arms around him and I am praying that Jake realizes that Em is about to set it off. Em takes off into the living room, fully intending on beating the shit out of this guy and probably anyone who gets in his way. Jake finally catches on and gets in front of him as I try to detain him from behind. Unfortunately for Jake, Em shrugs him off with a forearm and has Royce in his vice grip a split second later.

I've never seen Em like this in all the years I've known him. He picks this kid up and body slams him into Seth's DJ equipment table. As soon as the music goes silent, the crowd realizes that it's about to get real up in here.

**BPOV**

We hear a loud crash and screaming from upstairs. Edward is up in seconds, pulling on a pair of jeans and the undershirt he wore to the funeral today. I hop up and immediately regret it as I feel a gush below of Edward's special sauce running down my leg. _Shit_.

"Stay here." He orders as he slips on his gym shoes and heads up the stairs.

_Yeah right, Cullen_. I make quick work of the mess and grab some of the clothes I have stashed in his drawer. I hustle up the stairs and turn into the kitchen only to see Heidi and Lauren in front of me making their way to the action in the living room as well. That bitch has a huge set of brass balls showing her face here tonight. They nudge their way through the crowd and I follow, but once they get to the front I push my way past them.

Edward and Jake are standing in front of Emmett, pushing against his chest desperately trying to hold him back. Chocolate Thunder has his arms around him from behind. His face is strained from trying to restrain him. Emmett's face is red, furious, and fucking scary. His jaw is tight and his eyes are crazy. I can actually see his chest heaving from here.

I look across the room and notice that Bongwater and Alec are standing in front of Royce who's got a busted lip that is bleeding down his front. They are smiling and laughing at the shit Royce is spewing, barely pressing on his chest as he runs off at the mouth.

"She's been all over my dick for months; you were just too fuckin' stupid to notice!" He yells, baiting the angry giant further by grabbing his junk.

I swear Emmett growls and shoves forward, causing Jake and Edward's footing to falter a bit.

I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I hear Lauren and Heidi giggle next to me. In my periphery, I see Lauren's arm extending with her cell phone poised to take a picture. I look over to see she is lining up a shot of Emmett's room where the door is wide open. On the bed, Tanya is holding and consoling a disheveled looking Rose with mascara and tears running down her face. I take off towards my friends, grabbing Lauren's phone in the process and throwing it across the room where it shatters once it collides with the wall.

The blood is rushing to my ears as I hurry to get to Rose and Tanya, I don't even hear the explicative laced rant Lauren goes into behind me. I am about three feet from the door when I suddenly feel myself being thrown to the ground – hard. My knees hit the hardwood and I am barely able to get my hands under me so I don't smack my face on the floor.

I raise my eyes and see Paul smirking at me, with a laughing Alec, Royce and Bongwater staring down at me as well. Felix lifts me by the arm and walks me to Emmett's room and I can literally feel myself trembling. I am shaking with rage and fear and worry. I can also feel Edward's eyes on me and I know. His resolve is unshakable. This is going to happen. So I nod, letting him know I understand.

**CTPOV**

I notice Bella taking off towards Emmett's room with Lauren Mallory motherfucking her all the way. I can't believe they snuck into our party. I know damn well them bitches weren't invited. As Bella goes by, that prick Paul throws her to the floor as hard as he can. Her knees hit the hardwood and I see every single muscle in Edward's body tense up.

Now normally I call Edward 'The Gent' because he is just a real smooth, polite mother fucker. I would never think that he would be capable of getting into a fight, and if he did it would probably start with him smacking someone across the face with white gloves and saying "How dare you, sir!"

As I look at him now, I know that's not the case. Not by a long shot.

"Another one of Cullen's girls is down on her knees." That punk, bitch Alec says loudly as Felix helps Bella up and into the bedroom.

Other than the laughs of Royce and his friends, the room is dead silent. So long as I live, I will never forget this. I've seen some scary shit in my life, Emmett's frame of mind right now being one of them. But when I see Edward turn around, I know for a fact that he is the coldest motherfucker I've ever met. And the next words out of his mouth are said low, but lethal.

"Fuck 'em up!"

And with that, he steps out of Em's way and slowly stalks over to Alec.

_Oh Lawd, we're going to jail tonight _I think to myself as I shake my head surveying the chaos around me.

**BPOV**

I hear the fits of laughter from their little crew as Felix releases my upper arm. Felix stares at me intently, his eyes are on mine and his expression is focused. He is concentrating so hard, so I know he is going to speak, which is a really big deal for him.

"Sss-st-stay hhere, Bella. Please." He says slowly, pleading with his eyes for me to cooperate.

I nod as I close the door behind him. I can't help but peek out the crack before I shut it completely. I see Edward release a murderous looking Emmett who Chocolate Thunder and Jake can no longer restrain alone.

_And so it begins… _

I shut the broken door as much as I can and lean my back against it. Tanya has her arms wrapped around Rosalie who is gasping to catch her breath while wiping the tears from her face. My heart breaks seeing my beautiful friend looking so shattered.

"Rose…" I whisper, to get her to look at me.

She begins shaking her head frantically, trying to speak, but it just comes out in random hysterical pants.

"I didn't… He followed me… Tried to kiss me… I fought him… But Ty… He didn't… Em thinks…"

"Sssshhhh" Tanya soothes, rubbing her back. "Emmett knows that you wouldn't do that, Rose."

This brings on a fresh round of hysterics. Rose tries desperately to get her breathing under control as all hell breaks loose in the next room.

I scrunch my eyes closed tightly and listen to the chaos just on the other side of the door.

There is a large crash against the wall that makes the pictures in this room rattle followed by a collective gasp from the onlookers. Feet are shuffling frantically, probably folks trying to escape the melee, or maybe people rushing to stop it.

I hear the unmistakable sound of fists connecting with flesh. Grunts and growls and grappling on the floor. It has to be pure fucking bedlam out there because the sounds from the crowd are a mixture of screaming girls, voices of reason trying to stop the madness and a handful of idiots egging it on.

**CTPOV**

Within seconds several things happen at once. Em throws Jared out of the way and tackles Royce into the drywall. Edward cold-cocks Alec in the face and drops him to the ground. Jake jumps in front of Paul to keep him from getting anywhere near Edward and Emmett.

I can't move because I don't know what to do. Who the fuck needs me the most? Edward is standing over Alec taunting him, motioning for him to get up. When Alec does, he tells Edward to 'come on'. I shake my head because he has no clue who he is fucking with right now. I may even chuckle a bit when Ed pops him in the mouth and he stumbles back into the crowd. It appears that Edward has things under control.

Jake and Paul are wrestling around. Truth be told, I am a little concerned that Jake bit off more than he can chew. Paul is a strong dude. Everyone thinks he is on steroids because he is so muscular and volatile, but he's not. I see him at the gym everyday working on his fitness, no 'roids necessary. He's just a fuckin' asshole.

But when I see Emmett hold Royce down by the throat with his fist cocked ready to strike; I know exactly where I need to go. I rush over and wrap my arms around his middle again. This must be quite a sight, one giant dude grabbing another giant dude from behind, trying to heave him backwards – this ain't a good look for me.

As I pull Em back, I check on the boys again. Edward has Alec pushed up against the wall across from the bedroom door that Felix is guarding. I wish I could get his attention; I could use his help here. Edward is going to town on Alec, holding him up and just punching him repeatedly in the stomach and sides.

Heidi is screaming for him to stop, but she has this weird smile on her face. The crazy bitch is getting off on this. I cannot stand that girl. It's bad enough that she did my boy so dirty but she's been fuckin' with Bella's head too. She's lucky that Bella called off Tanya and Alice, because they were ready to beat her down when she pulled that shit with Edward a few days ago.

I see her try to get in the middle, trying to get her hands on Edward to stop him. Alec uses this to his advantage and jacks him in the side of the face. He stumbles back a bit and rubs his cheek and pops his jaw back and forth. Mm, mm, mm… Alec thinks he knows, but he has no idea. He's looking all smug like George McFly when he hits Biff, all proud of himself. But once he realizes that Edward's coming toward him he turns back into the punk bitch that he is. Edward isn't playing and cocks back and jabs him in the jaw… repeatedly. Alec should fall, but hell, Ed has him pinned again.

When he finally lets him go, Alec drops to the ground and starts trying to slither away. But Edward is following him, yelling at him to 'get up'. Damn, man. That dude is a bad motherfucker for real…

"STOP! STOP HIM! PLEASE! JA-COB! SOMEONE HELP HIM!"

Leah's frantically crying as Seth holds her back from jumping in the middle of the melee. Paul has Jake in some kind of wrestling move, with his arm twisted, and poised to snap.

I see Felix hesitate at the door, trying to decide if he should intervene or continue to hold the door knob to make sure that the girls don't jump into the mix. I faintly hear Bella pounding on the door, begging him to help. And with that, he steps over to Paul and grabs his arm and shoulder and whirls him around, pushing him away like a fuckin' rag doll.

Paul's no slouch so he gets right up in Felix's face or as close as he can get and pushes him back.

"Get your fucking hands off me you stutterin' prick motherfu—"

Paul doesn't even get to finish that sentence because Felix knocks that fuck face out with one punch. He just drops to the ground like he got put to sleep. _Nighty night, beeyach_.

Felix is in the zone now as he picks him up and smooth walks him to the front door, tossin' him on the front porch like the cat in The Flintstones. Alec is still trying to back up, inching his way to the door as well. Edward is just stalking him looking like a crazy man.

And Em, he is just goin' to town on this cat's face and ribs. I can't even hold his ass back anymore because he is just dragging me. I'm like a backpack at this point, but then I see the cavalry coming in the form of one cowboy, Jasper Whitlock.

Jas takes control immediately, wrapping his arms around Emmett and helping me pull him back. Royce seizes the moment and gets one lucky punch in while we are pulling Em off of him. That prick is all fucked up looking, but still goading my boy like he didn't just get his ass handed to him. He must be too coked up to notice his face is the size of a pumpkin, all swollen eyes and shit. He'll feel it tomorrow.

Jared pulls Royce out front and Emmett drags Jasper and I out as well as we are both still wrapped around him being yanked unwillingly. Everyone involved in the fight is outside now. Jake, Jas and I have Em relatively under control at the top of the stairs on the porch. Not Edward though, he's still got business to handle.

Paul is just now pulling himself up to stand. He is trying to get his balance, with his hands on his knees, spitting blood into the mud. Edward gives a sharp, short whistle to get his attention. As soon as Paul looks up, he wishes he hadn't because Edward knees him in the face. Paul hits the ground again all sprawled out. Cullen doesn't stop there as he kneels on Paul's chest and starts pummeling him UFC cage fighter style.

"Someone should stop him." Jake says making no move to stop him, seeming to enjoy watching the beating Paul is taking.

Jas, Jake and I can't move otherwise Marcellus Wallace here might get medieval again.

Felix walks down all cool and calm and grabs Edward like a teddy bear and totes him back up to the house. It's not easy to look all hard and tough being carried like that, but Edward manages to pull it off. We walk back into the house and I let Em go, giving him a pat on the back. He turns and gives me a nod before he stumbles over to his room to see his Rosie.

And just like that, the shit is over.

**BPOV**

"You better put some ice on that pretty boy." I hear Chocolate Thunder say before there is a soft knock at the door.

I stand up and get out of the way as Emmett makes his way into the room. He has a large cut above his eye and his clothes are torn and bloody. He staggers directly to Rosalie who is still sitting on the bed looking up at him, eyes pleading. He gently kisses her forehead as he kneels in front of her, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his head on her lap. The moment is so private, but the soft smile on Rose's face as she runs her fingers through his hair lets me know that everything is going to be okay.

Tanya and I head out into the living room, surveying the damage. Seth is on the ground, trying to salvage what is left of his DJ equipment. I am assuming that was the first casualty of the fight. There are two large body shaped holes in the drywall, a lot of the furniture is overturned, and the floor is littered with red solo cups and spilt beer.

Tyler wraps his arms around Tanya from behind and kisses the top of her head. He looks slightly disheveled, but other than that, I don't see a scratch on him. I need to find Edward.

As I head into the kitchen, I see his reflection in the window. He's sitting at the kitchen table with his head down and a huge bag of frozen hash browns on the left side of his face. I panic at the thought that he's been hurt, but that thought is silenced by an all-consuming level of anger that I didn't know I was capable of. My eyes widen as I watch Heidi saunter over to him and run her fingers through his hair, touching him knowingly. Sure, I should feel relieved when he bats her hand a way and gives her the international sign for beat it, but I don't. The anger won't subside. I've reached a level of crazy in my head that I can only assume should be studied by FBI profilers and serial killers alike.

I roll up my sleeves and stomp into that room with purpose. It's about to get Hustle & Flow up in this bitch, because I'm about to whoop that trick! I can feel my inner Springer guest emerging. Cracking her knuckles, stretching her neck and bouncing on her feet left to right like a prize fighter. Because I am planning on getting bat-shit crazy, I turn my mood ring around so I leave a nice sized dent in her head when I lay the literal smack down on her. I am within ten feet of my target when I am suddenly accosted by an angry Lauren and her shattered Android two inches from my face.

"You owe me a new phone!" The train-wreck screeches, glaring at me menacingly.

As if I am on bad bitch autopilot, I swat the phone out of her hand for the second time.

"I owe you an ass whooping!" I yell as I shove my finger in her face.

And with that, I am no longer Isabella Swan. I'm Bella from the Block.

Now, I wish I could say that I was sportsmanlike and only threw clean punches like a professional boxer. Or that I came out all bad ass, whipping out eight different types of karate moves and the five finger death punch on her like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.

But I can't. Because I didn't. Instead, I got gully.

I shove her as hard as I can into the counter, but that doesn't faze her in the least because she comes right back at me, charging like a bull. I grab a hold of her as she drives me back into the refrigerator, smacking at the back of her head with my mood ring free hand while she tears at the back of my shirt.

I wrestle her upright a bit, and then I get enough leverage to throw her off of me.

But I don't stop there. No, sir. I start waving my arms like a windmill, because like Samuel L. Jackson, _I am going to strike down upon thee with great vengeance_. I am pretty pleased with myself as I lay a few blows to her head and chest.

She comes at me again; doggy paddle style like this is a sissy fight. Girl, please. I came in here to beat bitches up, so I take it up a notch. I form tackle her and we land on the kitchen floor with a crash and wrestle around for a bit, scratching and smacking each other whenever we can. I hear Edward, Tyler and Eric Yorkie finally running over to break us up. But someone beats them there first.

"Get off of her, psycho!" I hear Heidi shriek as she grabs a fist full of my hair and starts pulling me back.

A part of me wants to stay and finish the job on Lauren, but a bigger part wants to issue Heidi the beating of her life. Hmm… _Decisions, decisions…_

I decide I want a shot at the title, so I go for Heidi, but not without a little humiliation of Lauren first. I grab the neck of her too tight t-shirt and pull with all of my might. I hear the ripping sound I am looking for and as an added bonus, unclasp the front of her bra. So now we all have a ticket to the tig ol' bitties show. To further her mortification, at that very moment that I let the dogs out, Eric Yorkie wraps his arms around her to pull her off and gets a nice handful. _You're welcome, Eric ya' dirty perv._

Lauren isn't one to back down as I see her coming back at me, tits bouncing Baywatch style. That is until I see a whirl of strawberry blonde hair clothesline her and drag her back into the corner.

"Oh, hell no!" Chocolate Thunder yells as he hustles to stop Tanya from going all _Bad Girls Club_ on Lauren.

Heidi tugs on the end of my hair again, and I remember that she has an appointment with my fists, aptly named "Brutus" and "Buster". I turn quickly and wrap my arms around her middle, wrestling her down to the ground as the bottoms of her jugs assault the top of my head.

I am pretty sure I am full on growling as I climb on top of her like a spider monkey. See, Heidi made a tactical error. She grabbed the ends of my hair – not the scalp. Now I have a full range of motion, and shit is about to get real. I start raining blows on her head and body. I probably look just like Ralphie beating down Scut Farkus, the bully in _A Christmas Story_. I'm not gonna lie, it feels damn good too.

_Smack_.

_That's what I get for celebrating. _

_Smack_.

She lays another one on me right across the face. I feel my entire face get hot and I clench my teeth as I ball my fists up.

It's. About. To. Go. Down!

I raise my fist, but I feel Edward grab it as he tries to yank me off of her. I am absolutely wild with rage at this point, so I go in for the only other move I can. I grab her hair at the scalp and wrap it around twice. I may or may not get hit twice in the face in the process, but the pained expression on her face when I yank on her hair makes it totally fucking worth it!

Edward is pulling me one direction and Jasper is pulling Heidi the other. We both shriek in unison when the boys figure out that we have a death grip on each other's locks. Edward has me around the middle and off the ground so I do what any self-respecting brawler would do. I kick her Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon style – solid kicks to the chest in rapid fire succession. In my defense, once Jasper gets her off the ground, she starts kicking me too.

"Bella, let go, baby!" Edward coos, trying to get me to release her hair from my kung fu grip.

"Let go!" She screams.

"Fuck you!" I yell back and pull harder.

"Baby doll, stop!"

Seth comes over and does his best to extract her hair from my grip, but not before I feel like she has a visible bald spot.

'_Victory is mine'_ I shout like Stewie from The Family Guy in my head and/or possibly aloud, I can't be sure at this point.

As Edward carries me out of the room, I see Chocolate Thunder pleading and trying to get his arms around Tanya who is shaking the shit out of Lauren by her hair. Eric Yorkie is of no assistance to Tanya or Tyler, as he is fixated on Lauren's exposed chest.

Once Edward has me downstairs, he takes me to the bathroom and gently places me on the toilet. Then he goes all Dr. Cullen on me.

"Bella" He chastises me as he checks my face, hands and arms for cuts and scratches. "What were you thinking?"

Oh, no he didn't.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you up there having a tea party?" I ask condescendingly.

His eyes meet mine, expression incredulous. "They had it coming."

"And those psychopathic bitches didn't?" I ask, rolling my eyes at his idiocy.

I am about to continue my smart as remarks, but when I look at him I notice the damage to the side of his face. He has some bruising along his cheekbone and a small cut on his lip.

"Baby!" I say as I jump up and start inspecting his body as well.

His jeans are completely covered in mud and his shirt is torn in several places. He sucks in his teeth when I touch his cheek and it makes my chest hurt to see him in pain. He lets me clean up his cuts and I turn on the shower for him. As I head out of the bathroom, he grabs my hand and motions his head, indicating he wants me to join him. So I do.

With soft touches and chaste kisses, we wash the evidence of this evening off of our bodies. We are both sorry for our behavior, but not sorry that we've inadvertently shown each other everything. Naked and completely exposed, we show each other our blazing insecurities and the level of craziness that we are willing to go to in order to protect and keep what we hold most dear. I guess that's just us. Clearly imperfect in every way, but maybe we are perfect for each other.

Edward lays me down on his bed for the second time that evening. This time our love making is slow and deliberate. Reaffirming all that we feel for one another to each other. Reassuring each other that nothing and no one will stop this. These unspoken promises are sealed with each kiss, each touch and each loving stroke. Slow and deep gives way to fast and hard as our need grows until he finally spills into me. He rolls off and as we do every night we are together, I nestle into his chest while he lovingly strokes my back and sides as I run a finger up and down his ribs.

Yawning, I chose to end our night on a silly note. "Good night, Billy Bad-ass."

And without missing a beat, my Edward responds in kind.

"Mmm. Love you, tough nuts."

* * *

**A/N: So, all parties were appropriately dealt with – now let's get back to the smutty fun... **

**I feel bad there was not a real lemon in this chapter, and much like Tanya, I view helping the reader get their perve swerve on as my top priority. Given that tonight's chapter was a collective effort by the group, I thought that should be the theme for my recs. Groups with E/B as the main show …**

_**Watch**_** by AmandaC3 – um, before you read lay out an extra pair of panties and smokes if you got 'em. This is a fun little threesome for all of you Jasper lovers out there…**

_**The Casting Couch**_** by Coldplaywhore – I would like it noted that this was my very first group fanfic read as I was trying to step out of my comfort zone – like WAY out. Hot and smutty – I don't regret it for a minute. I recommend a pillow to catch your jaw because this shit is bananas…**

**And for you non-group gals who just like a straight up E/B – try **_**Fork My Life**_** by grrlinterrupted. Cybersex done right!**

**Thanks so much to all who have read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, tweeted, rec'd and lurked this fic! **


	22. Chapter 22 - At the Beginning

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

**Let's start wrapping this up, shall we…**

* * *

Chapter 22 – At the Beginning

EPOV – 3 years later

_**10 Charged in Trafficking Operation**_

_A 3-month long investigation by state and local law enforcement has resulted in the shutdown of a known Seattle to Tacoma drug trafficking operation._

_On Thursday, authorities released the names of the 10 people who have been charged with distributing crack-cocaine, ecstasy, and marijuana in a joint effort by King and Pierce county drug enforcement task forces._

I chuckle before taking a sip of my coffee as I am not remotely surprised to see some familiar names on that list. Royce, Jared and Paul are looking at some hefty sentences if convicted. _Hope they don't drop the soap_. I haven't seen or heard from those guys in a long time. We didn't throw parties any more after that one. It was the be all and end all of parties. What can I say; we went out with a bang…

Today is moving day. Bella and I finally put my Grandpa Platt's inheritance to good use and bought a nice little starter home. Well, I also used it to buy my baby doll a ring. I proposed last year on my Gotcha Day about a week after our graduation. She's the one, plain and simple and I can't wait to marry her. In fact in just three short weeks, she will become Mrs. Edward Cullen. She will be tied to me in every way possible and I couldn't be happier if I tried.

This first year of med school is kicking my ass, but after finals next week all should be well. Dad told me not to worry, that the first couple of years are the worst because schools tend to weed out the one's not motivated enough to do what's necessary. I suppose that makes sense but I'll be damned if that's gonna be me.

"Edward." Bella yells from downstairs. "Can you come help me, baby?"

"Yeah."

I hustle down the stairs of the basement and slip in to my room, but she is nowhere to be found.

"Where are you, babe?"

"In here."

And then I see her. She is wearing my Port Angeles 3-on-3 basketball tourney shirt, the one with my last name written across the back in big block letters. The same shirt I gave her the night that Emmett led her down to my room like a little lamb to the lion's den. She is in the laundry room, perched on top of the dryer with her hair all piled on top of her head in a messy ball.

With a sultry smile she greets me with the exact same words she did that night. "Dirty boy, Cullen."

Hmm, looks like my baby doll wants to finish what we started all those years ago. My mouth is on hers in seconds. I am practically bending her backwards with this kiss, roughly attacking her mouth with mine. But my girl is holding her own against my lips and stroking my tongue with hers. It's like I am right back there, in that moment. Feeling her body and lips against me for the first time, and fuck me, it still feels new. This time though my girl is confident, less hesitant, and down to get hers.

"Are you thinking about that night, Edward?" She asks in a breathy moan against my mouth as she spreads her legs wider for me.

"Yeah."

I close my eyes as she runs the palm of her hand down my body and curls her finger tips into the waist band of the basketball shorts I am wearing, tugging ever so slightly. I step forward and run my hands up her thighs creeping up slowly only to find that she isn't wearing any panties. I smile against her mouth and she hums softly at my delight.

"No panties, baby doll?"

She shakes her head as she slowly takes her shirt off and lets her hair down before leaning back on her elbows atop of the dryer. All she is wearing now is her _fuck me _smile and a round, shiny, sparkler on her left hand. She places her heels on each corner of the dryer, effectively spreading herself wide for me, putting her bare little pink pussy on display for _my_ pleasure.

Those baby brown eyes are boring into mine as she slips her tiny little hand down her torso to spread her lips. She trembles a bit before she quietly begs.

"Touch me, Edward."

My muscles tense as I inhale deeply trying to rein in the last shred of fucking control I have over my body which is lost the split second she opens her mouth to whisper again.

"Make me cum."

I go from zero to pig in fucking ten seconds flat smacking two fingers against my girl's clit before plunging them deep into her pussy. Fuck she's wet. I can hear that shit as I finger fuck her fast and hard. I pull my fingers out and as expected, they are just glistening.

My baby is sucking in her lips, trying to keep quiet and losing the battle as she shudders slightly. I grab the back of her neck and pull her up to me because I want to taste her one more time before I _taste_ her. The irony is not lost on me that my Bella is not the same timid girl who came alive right before my eyes that night.

I nip and bite and suck on her neck and chest as I make my way down my girl's body. Her tits are fuckin' perfect, standing at attention and waiting for affection. Who am I not to oblige? I take her nipple into my mouth, circling it with my tongue before sucking it hard. Bella trembles a bit before grabbing the back of my head and holding it there, digging her nails into my scalp. I run my tongue over to the other, teasing it with just the tip.

"You like that, baby doll?" I ask her as I roll her little peak between my thumb and forefinger, twisting and turning and tweaking it until I get her to make a sound. I know she loves it, but I'm a sick fuck and I love the fact that my girl isn't too proud to beg.

"Ugh, God, yes! Yes! Please!"

I pull my fingers from her pussy and wipe her wetness all over her nipple, coating it before I suck it back into my mouth. I watch for her reaction because I know that she likes it when I get dirty. She scrunches her eyes shut and moans so I make sure to work that shit over.

"Fuck! Yes! Edward, yes!" She screams and tightens her grip on my hair.

I think back to last year on the night I asked her to be my wife. Not only was it my Gotcha Day, it was also the day that Bella gave me what I now call the 2 Live Crew pass because she lets me be as nasty as I wanna be in the bedroom. Well, to an extent. The b-hymen ban is still in effect.

My dick is straining to get wet, but I want a quick sample of my baby doll's delicacy. I kiss down her torso and suck on each of the fingers that Bella's been using to spread herself with. Her eyes are on mine as I take my time licking, sucking and releasing each one with a pop.

"Lean back, baby."

She leans back on her elbows and I place her long sexy legs over my shoulders and get to eating my Bella pie. Top to bottom I lick and lap and taste her flesh. Her thighs are trembling and squeezing me tight. And her hand is pushing my face further in as she grinds against my mouth making sure that she has me where she wants me.

I bite down on that clit and she squirms and mewls. I reintroduce my fingers pushing them deep inside of her while I continue to flick that clit with my tongue. I am feeling a little brave today and there is a good possibility that I may get punched in the face, but I think I am going to go for it as I lower my pinky near her back entrance. I am definitely a sick fuck because I am doing it all slow and playing the Jaws theme song in my head as I approach. On second thought, maybe I should be humming the Mission Impossible theme song instead.

I suck as hard as I can on her little nub and rear my fingers back, waiting until my girl is close, which she is. Here she goes, lip bite, shaky thighs yet still managing to squeeze the life out of my head and a new possible bald spot near my neck. So I go for it shoving my fingers forward, all three of them.

"EDWARD!"

Her knees come out of nowhere as she jumps back and locks down on my temples like a goddamn vice. While that reaction was unexpected, the rest of her body is thrashing and writhing and reaping the benefits of what is commonly called '_The Shocker'_ which will now be referred to as the '_Triple E'_. The Enhanced Edward Experience. Yeah, she looks like it's that good.

Once she is back in control of her body, Bella quirks an eyebrow at me and it makes me think that I may be wrong so I need to distract her. I stand and lift her legs over my shoulders and slowly ease my cock inside of her.

She tightens her grip on my hair and grabs the other side too, pulling me down for another kiss. If I were a gentleman, I would have wiped my mouth, but I am not. I have a sneaking suspicion that tasting herself on my lips turns her on. Either that or I watch too much porn where that shit is acceptable. My girl is sucking and licking on my Adams apple and throat because she knows just what to do to get me going as I start slamming into her.

"So fucking good," she whispers against my ear.

"Yeah? You like takin' that cock, Bella?"

"Agh, fuck! Yes! Give it to me!" She moans loudly so I pick up the pace, thrusting into her like a fucking machine over and over again.

After several minutes, my knees are starting to hurt as they bang against the metal of the dryer. I think a little position change is in order as I pull out of her and back up.

"Turn around, baby doll."

Lickety-split she hops off that dryer and bends over it. She's on her tippy toes as she lies across the top. I place each of her hands at the top corners and kiss down her neck.

"You are gonna want to hold on tight, Bella." I whisper in her ear as I grab my dick to line up and enter her.

I kiss and lick down her spine and give a loud smack to that ass.

"Love that ass." I say as I bite the soft flesh gently.

"Yeah, well keep your fingers away from it." She says looking back at me with that same accusing brow.

_Maybe the Triple E wasn't all it was cracked up to be… _

I tear into her again and I can tell that she's close because she is clutching the shit out of the dryer and arching her back to meet me grind for grind. She feels fucking fantastic as she constricts her inner walls around my shaft. I throw my head back, close my eyes and focus on the sounds of skin slapping skin, and my baby girl's moans and groans.

Panting now that we are both so close my Bella is begging and pleading.

"Harder, baby! Fuck! Faster!" She gasps as she pushes back against my pelvis, grinding that sweet little pussy against me.

"Come on, baby doll, let me hear you!" I tell her as I reach under her to grab one of her tits in one hand as the fingers on my other hand go around and play with her pretty clit.

Each thrust is harder and harder, the dryer is no longer balanced and the front is coming off the ground each time my pelvis meets her ass. Our orgasms are closing in. I pinch her nipple and her clit simultaneously and can instantly feel my Bella tightening around me a split second before my own release. She's just fucking milking my cock as she grinds back into me one more time before she comes apart. We are both a sweaty mess as we stay bent over the dryer trying to catch our breath.

"Love you, baby doll." I say honestly through staggered breaths as I kiss just beneath her ear.

"Love you too, baby." She replies panting while palming my cheek.

"Hello!" Emmett's voice booms throughout the house. "Where you at, E?"

"Party's over!" Bella jokes as she tries to lift and steady herself.

_Shit he's early_. I grab Bella's shirt and throw it to her as she sprints across the hall shutting the bedroom door behind her. I am having a hell of a time trying to pull my shorts up my legs as I can hear him coming down the stairs. I just about have my shorts on when he comes around the corner.

"Jesus, Edward!" He shrieks, but he doesn't cover his eyes, he does however cover little baby Liam's eyes, who he is toting on his chest like the kid in the Hangover. They are even rocking matching mini-Aviator glasses.

Emmett proposed to Rosalie about 6 months after Bella and I got together, only a month or so after the fight as a matter of fact. They had a lavish wedding the summer I proposed to Bella and welcomed little Liam McCarty the following spring.

"You knew we were coming!" He says in this new voice he talks in when he is pretending he isn't scolding you.

"And you're early." I mimic in his same stupid sing-song voice.

"Uh, no. This is what grown-ups call 'punctual'."

I want to roll my eyes, but I get it. I'll probably be the same way once Bella and I start having kids.

"Yo!" Tyler yells from the front door.

"Down here." Em calls back.

The stairs creak under his weight as he jogs down them. He is wearing a wife-beater and Adidas pants.

"Why are you wearing Tanya's tank-top?" Emmett asks him.

"Oh you got jokes Zack Galifianakis?"

With Tyler distracting Em, I slip into the bathroom to wash up as Bella puts her hair back in her signature messy bun. As I meticulously scrub my hands, I think back to that first night again. Standing in this spot with puke down the front of her shirt, I remember everything. The blush on her cheeks, the way she bit her lip, right down to the feel of her tiny fingers brushing mine as I gave her the shirt. My little vomit scented angel.

"Hi guys!" Bella says as she comes out of my bedroom looking like she wasn't fucked six ways to Sunday on a dryer not five minutes prior as I follow behind her with my_, I just hit that_, face.

"Hi Bella!" Ty says as he plays with little Liam's cheeks.

"Hey Bells! Rose said you would watch him while we do all the heavy lifting." He says as he starts unsnapping buttons and pulling levers on the contraption he has Liam hanging in.

"Yes I will take my little boyfriend, come here little guy!" She says as she pulls the baby into her arms.

My Bella is a fuckin' natural. That baby melts into her all cooing and smiling. I gotta get in on the action so I step over to tickle his fat feet.

"Ugh! This kid stinks! Did you hand him off knowing he had a loaf in his diaper?" I ask Em incredulously.

"I don't smell anything." He says, but I know he is lying because something died in that boy's pants.

"Did you take an Emmett, Liam? Did you take a big, steaming Emmett in your diapers? Huh?" I ask in yet another ridiculous voice that I must have picked up from Em and Rose.

"Where is his diaper bag? I'll change him." Bella says as she takes Little Liam Rotten-ass up the stairs.

"It's on the kitchen counter. And don't forget to wipe his Edward!" He says snickering like the 12 year old he is before pointing at me then pointing at his butt. _Nice_.

"Let's do this, Ladies!" Ty says as he makes his way into my room. "Tan and I got a hot date tonight."

Em and I know better than to touch that. Who knows what a 'hot date' between those two may include so we start grabbing boxes. I fucking hate moving. We look like the Three Stooges trying to figure out how to angle the furniture to get it out of my room and up the stairs. I swear we are seconds from drawing a fucking diagram when Jas shows up and guides us through it.

"Everything loaded up?" Bella asks as she rocks a sleeping Liam on her shoulder kissing the top of his head sporadically.

"Yep. We are getting ready to head over to the house. You have anything else that needs to go over?"

I ask.

"Uh, yeah. That box over there. That can just go on the kitchen counter when you get there." She says pointing to a box of her work stuff.

Six months after graduation, Alice and Tanya took Bella out for margaritas to cheer her up. She was having a terrible time finding work in the publishing field and/or work in general other than her gig at the library; at that point she wasn't terribly picky. Tanya was still working through her business plan. She was in the process of lining up investors to back her. One of which is my mom, but I'd rather stab myself in the face than think about my mom being a sex toy financier.

Alice had just come back from New York and was flying high on a costume line she did for some fashion house. As the story goes, about three margaritas in, Alice is talking about a French movie she wants to design costumes for from the dresses down to the lingerie. No matter how drunk she is Tanya is always in business mode. Tanya begs Alice to do a line of lingerie for her so she can break into the market as a niche while capitalizing on Alice's name and notoriety. So they start throwing out ideas. Costumes like a sexy librarian, maid, school teacher, secretary, dominatrix, bank teller, who the fuck knows. Anyway, I guess my baby doll was near tears when she made the off-handed remark that they should include a role playing manual with each costume. One margarita later my baby was employed as a writer and I got to act out a shit ton of fantasies night after night for months. Talk about a rough day at the office. _Winner, winner, chicken dinner._

"More costumes?" I ask with a smirk.

"You betcha!" She says as she puts Liam in his carrier so Em can take him over to the house.

"Are you sad to leave?" I ask her as I look around the place one last time thinking about all the crazy things we did here over the past few years.

"Yes and no. I mean, this place holds so many memories for us, but I can't say that I am not excited to get into a place of our own, you know?"

I nod because I feel the exact same way.

"Although, I am happy that we finally got to finish what we started in the laundry room." She says wrapping her arms around my neck.

I lean down and kiss her. It starts off slow and sweet but gradually deepens until we are moaning in each other's mouths and getting all handsy. I grab her ass and lift her as she wraps her legs around my waist when Em walks through the door.

"Seriously you two, there is a baby RIGHT THERE! What is wrong with you guys?"

We are unfortunately used to getting caught by now so this doesn't even register on the shame scale.

"See you at home, baby doll." I say kissing her forehead and heading out the door.

"Love you!" She yells before I hit the door.

"Love you more!" I shout back because I know this is true.

Tyler rides with me on the way over and I tell him about the drug bust. We have a good laugh and reminisce about how crazy shit got that night, and when we refer to crazy, we mean our girls. Truth be told, Bella scares the shit out of me. It literally frightens me to know that she is capable of that level of crazy. Heidi is damn lucky I got a hold of Bella and should be grateful that she got out of there with only a bald spot and a busted dome.

"Man, what ever happened to Lauren? I felt bad because she got the worst of it between Bella and then Tan. Girl got tore up!" He says as he rolls down the window to let his arm rest on the side of the car.

"I don't know. I think that after graduation she went home to Port Townsend. Last I heard she was tending bar and raising her kid or some shit like that." I say shaking my head feeling bad for that poor kid to have that hot mess of a mom.

"What about Heidi, man? That girl right there, she's the real slim shady!" Ty says shaking his head.

I nod as I completely agree. "I don't know, I think she is taking some time off to back-pack through Europe or some shit like that."

I hate myself for lying because my mom told me that that's the cover lie her family is using and that Heidi is in a hardcore rehab facility. Her family set up an intervention once they finally realized the severity of her addiction. I should feel sorry for her but I don't. Hell, I still remember when Jane confronted my mom at the Country Club a couple days after the fight. Dad and I were left completely dumbstruck at how swiftly mom took care of things.

"_How could you allow your hillbilly girlfriend attack my daughter?" Jane screeches as she comes at me with her finger in my face. I start to say something but mom raises her hand to silence me. _

"_Well, Jane," mom says, setting her drink down, "I suppose it's the same reason your sweet little Heidi overdosed on my bathroom floor; it was out of his control." Mom quickly rebukes._

"_How dare you…" Jane starts to say in a huff._

"_I would remember, Jane," mom continues, interrupting what was sure to be a tirade from her, "Loose lips, sink ships so if you want Heidi's 'problem' to stay out of the topics for discussion at Bunco night you should kindly, shut the fuck up." Mom finishes with a smile._

_Jane stands there with her mouth agape and then narrows her eyes before spinning and marching out._

"_God, what a bitch," Mom says as she takes another sip of wine._

Things got weird at the Country Club for a while, especially after Aro went marching into my father's office the morning after the fight threatening to press charges against me for beating the shit out of his kid. I think back to the day that, as dad put it, Aro went on a rampage.

_I am nervous as I make my way to the coffee shop that dad insisted I meet him at via text message. I didn't bother to tell him anything about the fight because I know once he sees me he will know something happened. Oddly, Dad doesn't say anything immediately when he sees my injuries. He just smiles slightly before ordering our coffees. As we sit down he cocks his brow at me._

"_Looks like you had an interesting night, son," Dad says as he takes a sip of his coffee._

"_Umm, yeah, it was, umm," I stumble with what to say._

"_Aro paid me a visit this morning, threatening to press charges against you." He starts to say as he takes another sip of his coffee._

"_Dad, I can explain," I say nervously._

"_Please do."_

_I spend the next thirty minutes giving him a run down on what transpired the night before. He nods and then explains to me that he is not proud of what I did, but understands because Alec had it coming especially after he found out about the incident at the hospital. He then tells me that Mike didn't just throw Alec out of the room that day he harassed Bella at the hospital. He filed a complaint against him as well. I got to hand it to Mike; he really does have Bella's best interest at heart._

"_I simply told Aro that if he wanted to press charges against you to go right ahead because I was about to escort Bella to the police station to file charges against Alec as well as a restraining order."_

"_Do you think he will actually go through with pressing charges?" I ask as the consequences of my actions suddenly become very real especially where medical school is concerned. _

"_Well, yes, but don't worry. Aro is a smart man. He knows if he files Bella will file and it will look worse for him because of Alec's track record and the complaints against him already."_

"_Son, trust me. I am not letting Aro bully me. No way in hell." He takes another sip of his coffee and smiles against the lid, "Just promise me you won't go all Elin Woods on his prick kid at the Father's Day Golf tourney. No beating him about the head and neck with your club."_

_I shake my head and laugh because the thought is appealing._

"_Which reminds me, I set a tee time for us tomorrow at 2 pm. I don't want to have to carry your ass throughout the tourney." He says with a straight face twisting the cardboard around his cup. "It was all fun and games until Aro burst into my office like a fucking lunatic. Now I think we need to make an example of them both."_

I grin at the thought of that day as I park the truck and jump out to unload our shit. My old man and I drank scotch and smoked cigars to celebrate our seven stoke victory. Aro threw his putter into the water in frustration and motherfucked Alec all over the course. Victory is sweet.

"Felix put a ring on it last night." Ty informs me as we are carrying the bookcase to the living room and drawing my attention back to what we're doing.

"Oh yeah? He and Maggie are making it official?" Em says as he burps little Liam.

"Yep. New Year's Eve. I'm the best man and I think we should do New Orleans for his bachelor party." Ty subtly suggests wagging his eyebrows.

"The Big Easy. Yeah, I could go for that." Jasper drawls as he follows behind us with a big ass box of books.

We set the bookcase down and shake out our arms.

"I need to start gettin' in shape, man. I gotta look good." Ty says as he stretches.

"Why? Are you goin' on _Say Yes to the Dress_ or something?" I ask with a laugh.

"Shit…" He says drawing out the word. "More like _Say Yes to this Fly Ass Tux_!"

The guys and I finish moving all of our stuff into the house and they stick around for some beer and pizza.

When they finally leave, I find Bella in our kitchen, unpacking the dishes and loading them into the dishwasher. I sneak up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist.

"Happy to be home, baby doll?" I ask between kissing down her neck.

"Yeah." She says as she tilts her head giving me more room to play.

"You know, I put the bed together. I even put the sheet with the elastic on."

"Oh yeah? How about that!"

"You know, future Mrs. Cullen, we have almost 2000 square feet to break in here."

"Do we now?" She teases as she grinds her ass against me.

"Where do you wanna start, my Bella?"

She turns around to face me and kisses me lightly before she answers.

"How about we start… in our room."

* * *

**A/N: We will catch up with the rest of the gang next chapter and finally find out what makes Tanya uncomfortable. **

**A few special shout outs:**

****Thank you to Edmazing for rec'ing IYR for the poll this week on The Lemonade Stand**

****Thank you to ALL of the readers who voted this fic into the top 5. It is such an honor to even be on the poll. There are some really fantastic stories and authors up this week, please go check them all out!**

****Thank you to Sweetjessx3 for being my 2000th reviewer!**

**And as always, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, fav'd, followed, rec'd, pimped and lurked this fic!**


	23. Chapter 23 - Into the Mystic

**Rating: M**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight - I just like to get weird with her characters.**

**A/N…Much love and thanks to my beta LovinRob for all of her encouragement and hard work on this story! Without her OCD and her cock/pussy thesaurus, this fic would be a hot mess of past and present tense and the word **_**erection**_** used repeatedly… **

**Many thanks to AmandaC3 for creating the marvelous banner for this story and the Togaward bonus banner. I wouldn't believe it was possible – but she made Rob hotter by wrapping him in pink bed sheets…**

* * *

Chapter 23 – Into the Mystic

"Okay, now I want you to inhale deeply. I'm going to pull on the exhale." Maggie says as I brace myself for the pain that I know is coming. "Breathe in… and out."

RIP

_Motherfucker! _I hate the necessary evil of the Brazilian wax. It's like you are being punished for not wanting to be all National Geographic in the nether-regions. I need a distraction from the pain.

"So I hear congratulations are in order." I mention casually as she repositions my legs so she can slather the hot wax on the other side of my inner thigh.

Maggie gives a shy smile as she nods. She and Felix are too stinking cute. Tanya set them up a few years ago when Maggie first moved here from Spokane. I think that initially T was going to set him up with Angela, however she was already dating Ben. Leave it to Tanya to make a friend while getting her hoo-ha landscaped. Maggie is a classic beauty with big blue eyes and shoulder length auburn hair. She is a few inches taller than me, but next to Felix she looks pint-sized. She is sweet and bubbly and the absolute center of his universe.

Almost so quietly I barely hear it, she sighs as she smoothes out the next strip on my skin. "He is amazing, Bella."

"How did he propose?" I ask as I tense up for the next round of rip, rip, pluck.

"Breathe in… and out."

RIP

I suck in my teeth as Maggie the little Polly Pocket of Pain tries to stifle a small giggle before launching into the tale of her engagement.

"Well you know how he can just get so nervous and stuff sometimes. So, he put together this really great slideshow of pictures of me as I grew up and then of us together over the past couple of years. At the end of the slideshow it said, 'grow old with me'. He was on bended knee and it was just so wonderful. It was so sweet and then I realized that I didn't have copies of any of the pictures." She recounts as she spreads more wax, her voice trembling slightly.

"He, uh, went to Spokane for a weekend last month. He asked my dad for his blessing in person and then went to my grandma, each of my aunts, all of my brothers and my best friends asking for pictures that he could use." She looks up at me, her eyes watering with emotion, "In person, Bella. He went just so far out of his comfort zone for me and, uh…" She starts, and then stops as she is overcome with emotion.

"It just makes everything that much more special, you know." She explains before clearing her throat so she can get back to business. "Ready? Breathe in… and out."

RIP

I feel my eyes watering slightly, though it is not from the fact that she is ripping my pubes from my skin savagely. The thought of Felix enduring something that makes him so uncomfortable to give her something so special just makes my heart ache in the best way.

"Okay, now roll over on your side and hold your cheek up for me." She instructs as she pats me on the thigh.

_Tender moment over_.

As I assume the humiliating position of lying on my side and holding my butt cheek up so she can smear hot wax all around my rear entrance, I go to my happy place. I think back to Edward's proposal and how perfect it was for us. I remember the nervous smile on his face and the slight tremor in his voice as he knelt before me promising to love me forever. I turn my palm face up and look at the small inscription on the back of my ring as another constant reminder that I am in his life and in his heart forever. In an elegant cursive script, my ring is inscribed with the one word that Edward associates with life-long love and happiness. _Gotcha._

"Okay, I am going to do two strips in quick succession since it is a relatively small area. Ready. Inhale deep and… exhale.

RIP! RIP!

"Alright, looks good down there. You are all set." Maggie says as she thoroughly inspects my newly hairless anus for possible strays.

"Thanks, Mags." I mutter trying to pretend that she didn't just give my entire under-carriage a painful once over.

"No problem. Get dressed and meet me over at the counter and we will start your manicure and pedicure."

Two hours later, I exit the Fierce Salon and Spa feeling like a whole new woman. The girls and I are regulars at the spa now that Tanya is business partners with the owners, James and Victoria. Those two are something else though. James is blonde, built and brilliant. He is always impeccably dressed from head-to-toe. The only thing that is keener than his fashion sense is his business sense. He and Victoria are two sides of the same coin. She too is fashion forward and fabulous in every sense of the word. She runs the day-to-day operations and works three days a week as a stylist specializing in color. Fierce is her baby and James is her _pet_ - literally.

I take my time driving home. The girls are setting up for my low-key shower/bachelorette party. Much to Tanya and Esme's disappointment, I put my foot down on male strippers. No dicks shall slang in my house, other than Edward's.

The girls are taking the fact that our entire wedding is very low-key in stride. I think Alice is taking it the worst, but she was fucking psychotic during the planning and execution of Rose and Emmett's wedding. For all intents and purposes, she is our wedding planner with Esme as her dutiful assistant. For the most part she's kept the crazy pretty well reined in, with the exception of the dress debacle. Perhaps suggesting that we go see what David's Bridal had to offer for dresses was the absolute wrong thing to say, especially to a fashion designer. Yeah, hissy fit, bitch fit and 'having a cow' are all understatements when describing how nuclear Alice went on me that day. Needless to say, she made beautiful, yet simple dresses for each of us, mine especially. Edward will love it.

As I step out of my car I see Esme at the door smiling and waving at me. Most people are not as fortunate in the mother-in-law department as I am. Once you get past her fondness for copious amounts of booze and over-sharing, she is simply one of the most amazing women I know. She and I do quite a bit together nowadays, including taking a cooking class. I do it to learn how to cook; she does it to learn how to cook with wine. Everyone wins.

Opening the door, she excitedly pulls me in for one of her signature hugs before grabbing my hands and opening them wide to look me up and down. "Bella you look absolutely radiant! Isn't Maggie just the best?"

I nod as she releases one of my hands and leads me into our dining room which is full of food and fresh hot-pink peony arrangements. The table and hutch are draped in beautiful black linens with complimenting modern dishes. The hutch also has six large apothecary jars atop of it filled to the rims with assorted dark pink candies. It appears the girls do not grasp the concept of "low-key".

"Come into the kitchen and try the signature drink." Esme demands as she once again drags me by the hand leading me to my friends who are all standing around my island deep in discussion.

"Do you think she will show today?" Rose asks disinterested as she sips her bottled water.

Tanya shrugs. "Depends. Are they are speaking this week?"

Ahh, they must be talking about Leah. Jake and Leah are one of _those_ couples. The couple that is absolutely horrible for and to each other, but will never leave each other for the simple fact that they've been together since high school. Jake is now a fisherman and therefore gone for long periods of time which does not help the situation. Leah desperately wants to marry him, though I can't understand why since she seems to hate him most of the time. She doesn't seem to trust him much either and is constantly calling or texting, basically questioning his whereabouts. Edward thinks that she is crazy, but I have a sneaking suspicion that Jake is a bit of a dog which may be the reason for the distrust. I am not saying he is a cheater, but if given the opportunity, I could totally see him going for it.

"Bella! You're here!" Alice beams excitedly as she jumps up to pour me a drink from the pitcher. "Try this, its strawberry sangria."

Little Liam's cries fill the room through the baby monitor. Rose jumps up like her ass is on fire and rushes to the little prince. The little guy continues to fuss as she brings him back into the kitchen.

"Is someone hungry? Yes, he is." Rose says in a sing-song voice as she kisses his fat little fingers.

In a matter of seconds, Rose whips out her boob and continues the conversation. "I swear it is unbearable being around them anymore."

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Tanya cringing and looking all around the room. She shifts uncomfortably as I tap her leg and give her a 'what the fuck' look.

"Jeez, Tanya, get over it already!" Rose exclaims out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry; your areola is staring at me and giving me the stink eye like I owe it money or something." Tanya defends incredulously.

"Maybe you should stop staring at my areola!" Rose snaps back.

"Fine, then maybe you should cover that shit up. If I wanted to take a trip to Silver Dollar City, I'd head down to Branson, Missouri and get dinner and a show as well."

Rose huffs and rolls her eyes before turning to address me. "Tanya hates it when I breastfeed Liam."

"Wrong! I don't hate it. I am uncomfortable watching it. I mean, I get it, the breast is best, I totally believe the hype. It's just not for me – it fucking weirds me out."

"It's natural, T! That's what boobs are made for. What could possibly weird you out about it?" Rose challenges with her signature bitch brow.

Squaring her shoulders, Tanya is all business as she answers. "Well for starters, watching my sweet little pumpkin head, Liam get to first base with mommy, well, it just skeeves me out."

Rose's mouth is agape, but it's Alice that comments. "Um how fast do you round the bases because I think it would technically be second base, wouldn't it?"

I smile as Tanya scoffs at Alice's comment while Esme is standing with her hand to her mouth, trying to contain what I am sure would be an interesting perspective on the whole thing.

"And secondly dolls, these are jewels," Tanya continues, gathering her boobs in her hands, "not tools."

She punctuates her point with a curt head nod and we all crack up at her insanity. Although she is laughing with us, I don't miss the wistful look on Esme's face as she watches little Liam feed. I need to look away or she will be a grandma way sooner than Edward and I would like.

Karen and a very pregnant Jessica arrive and the girls run out to unload their car while Karen hugs me tightly. She looks fantastic with a new hair color and a hint of make-up. Apparently she is hitting the dating scene again, which shocks the shit out of me, that and the fact that Forks actually has a dating scene. Esme immediately accosts her and drags her to the kitchen to grab a drink and get acquainted.

I take that moment to catch up with Jess for a bit. We chat all about her pregnancy. She is seven months along and having a boy, Michael Newton III. I think they are going to call him Trip since he is the third. They are moving into the old Gerandy house next month so she is feeling both overwhelmed and excited with all of the life changes ahead.

Maggie shows up next and is showing off her new rock and filling the gals in on the details of Felix's proposal. As the girls ooh and ahh over the big guy's sweet gesture, I notice Alice practically bouncing at the prospect of another wedding planning opportunity.

I have to hand it to my girls; they certainly know how to throw a great party, especially Alice. I am sure by her standards; this soiree is a low-key affair, especially in comparison to Rose's over-the-top baby and bridal showers. I have to wonder how the girls were able to keep her under control, envisioning everything from duct tape over her mouth to her being hog-tied in the closet.

"Time for presents!" Alice beams, ushering everyone into the living room.

As I see the gift table, I realize that this is one area they all refused to do in moderation. Rose's gift consists of luxurious sheets and oversize towels for our room and guest room. Alice gifts us with several pieces of glassware to decorate and accessorize the house. Maggie's gift, clearly the most practical of the group, includes kitchen staples, utensils, and place settings. And I am in complete shock when I see that the Newton's are put in charge of stocking our bar. Karen went a bit crazy with the barware at Crate & Barrel and seems to have bought every booze related glass under the sun. I have to laugh though when I see that Jessica's gift is literally a basket of booze.

"Yeah, I went two towns over to buy all this booze in my condition. Could you imagine what old Mrs. Cope would say if she saw me buying all of this as pregnant as I am?" Jess says with an eye-roll.

"That bitch would have a field day." Karen blurts out before covering her lips with her eyes wide. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that aloud."

We all giggle because honestly the woman never curses. Esme and Carlisle bought us every single small appliance known to man, including the espresso machine that Edward insists that he needs to make it through medical school. He will be ecstatic. Of course leave it to Tanya to take it to the next level. She and Tyler's presents include all of our cooking and baking essentials, pots and pans.

"That shit is from Tyler." She explains as she waves a dismissive hand at our new All-Clad set and reaches under the gift table. "_This _is from me."

She presents me with a basket completely filled with her new toy line which will go live next month. The beautiful wicker basket contains several dildos and vibes of assorted lengths, girths, speeds and colors. It also includes a few restraints, blindfolds and assorted floggers from her new line of BDSM toys aptly named "Miss V' for Victoria. Esme bounces and claps on her chair like Tanya just presented me the Congressional Medal of Honor and not a huge basket of sex toys. I can't even make eye contact with Karen.

Tanya begins her presentation showing and describing each toy and passing them around the room. Naturally, her favorite is the molding of her man's dong, aptly named _The Chocolate Thunder_. Next, she holds up a set of molded hands with long fingers which are adjustable. She calls this one_ Dr. Feelgood_. I swear Esme does spirit fingers before she jumps up and snatches them up to show Karen and to brag that these are Carlisle's hands. Tan tosses the next large dildo to Rose. This one has a handle at the end for easier use alone or as a couple and is titled _The Battering Ram_. Rose holds it in her hand like actors hold the Oscar statue, insanely proud of her husband's manhood.

For the record, Tanya did approach us to see if we were interested in mass producing The Kraken, but I couldn't allow it. I told her to go ahead and use the name, but that beast is all mine and I refuse to share it with the masses. What can I say, I am selfish…

I notice Jessica eyeballing the BDSM toys just a beat too long. I smile and wonder which room in the old Gerandy house she is going to turn into the 'adult' playroom. Tanya finishes her shameless self-promotion by telling all the girls that they each get to go home with a basket like mine. I swear the girls jump up screaming and hugging like the women on Oprah do during her _Favorite Things_ show. Even Karen is excited which kind of freaks me the fuck out.

I am relatively tipsy when the night comes to a close. The girls clean up and head out as I am shouting my love and thanks to them as they pull away. Our neighbors are going to just love us. Edward comes home a short while later as I polish off the rest of the sangria.

"Baby doll? Where you at?"

"In the kitchen."

I see him approaching, but he gets sidetracked by the gigantic basket o' fun. I go to put my glass in the dishwasher when I feel him reach around and grab my breasts, but it's not him grabbing my tits, its _Dr. Feelgood_. He starts alternately bouncing each up and down and humming a creepy little ditty.

"Do you like that baby?" He coos in my ear.

"Can't say that I am enjoying my future father-in-law's fake hands fondling me…"

The _Dr. Feelgood_ hands are off of me and in the trash seconds later.

"Ugh, fuckin' gross, why didn't you tell me?" He scoffs completely repulsed. "That's disgusting!"

"Oh please, tell me all about it. I saw your mom position the fingers in several interesting ways to show Karen just what these hands are capable of. You don't think I didn't want to puke in my mouth?"

Waving his hands in surrender, Edward nods as we head back to the living room to check out our loot. I snort at the excited squeal he makes when he sees the espresso machine. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me down into one of the club chairs while peppering my lips and throat with kisses. His hand then makes its way under my shirt and inches up my side. I abruptly stand as we agreed no more nookie until the wedding night. Sure, we've failed miserably in this endeavor, but I need to at least try.

"Edward…" I scold him as he continues his kissing assault on my belly button.

"Babe, it's not me, it's her." He defends and points to my lady-bits.

"Oh really…"

Nodding profusely he starts talking directly to the little lady downstairs. "You want this? Oh, you need this? What's that you say? You are Kraken lackin' and you want me to remedy that?"

I give an epic eye roll and shake my head, though I do agree that even though it has only been a day, she is indeed Kraken lackin'.

"What the lady wants, the lady gets." He concedes with a shrug of his shoulders and the unzipping of my pencil skirt.

And with that, Edward whisks me to the bedroom to give us both our fill.

~IYR~

"We wish you all the happiness in the world. Cheers!" Carlisle finishes as we all clink glasses at our rehearsal dinner.

Charlie stands up next and clears his throat as Carlo and Gino run around topping off everyone's glass for the next round of toasts.

"Ugh, I'm not big on speeches and public displays of affection. But, I just want to say that I am really happy for you, baby girl. You got a good guy who's just as crazy about you as you are him. And Edward. Well son, you must have a horseshoe up your ass because you got real lucky. Take care of each other, be good to one another, and never take the other for granted. So, yeah, to Edward and Bella." He grumbles embarrassed as he raises his glass to toast us.

Our friends take turns giving speeches and toasts and sage words of drunken wisdom. Our rehearsal dinner could not be more perfect.

As we drive back to Carlisle and Esme's house, Edward has his hand on my thigh rubbing gently. We are staying at his parent's house tonight in separate rooms. The hair stylists are coming at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow even though the ceremony starts in the evening. We are getting married in his parent's backyard with the lake as a backdrop. Once we arrive, Carlisle and Esme go straight to bed.

"Get some sleep you two." Carlisle calls over his shoulder as he hugs his wife tightly to his side.

Once his parents are out of sight, Edward has me pressed up against the doorway in the powder room off of the foyer, kissing me deeply. Pulling my body tightly against his, I can feel his erection straining against my stomach and it takes everything in me not to hop up on the sink and let him slide right in. Our breathing is uneven and our hands are everywhere they shouldn't be. He leans his forehead against mine so we can catch our breath.

Staring deeply into my eyes, he licks his lips. "You have no idea how badly I want you right now."

The words 'have me' are on the tip of my tongue, but then I remember that we are three days into our sex ban. It's actually a record for us.

"Then I better go." I say before kissing him gently on the lips and high-tailing it up the stairs.

Shutting the door behind me, I exhale deeply noting how close I came to ravaging my fiancé in his parent's bathroom. I kick off my shoes and unzip my suitcase in the hopes that my nightly routine will be enough of a distraction to keep me from running to Edward's room like a mad woman. I throw on my pajamas and begin to brush my teeth. The glint of my ring catches my eye. I smile as I turn my hand over to read his inscription. Oh fuck it, I grab a twenty from my wallet and make tracks down the hallway. I can't get to his room fast enough.

I knock softly and he answers right away. His dress shirt is unbuttoned and his feet are bare as he quickly ushers me into his room. He goes to speak but I am not here to talk. I grab the back of his head and place my mouth on his sucking his lower lip into mine and running my tongue over it. He moans into my mouth and runs his hands up and down my body as I walk him backward towards the bench at the end of the bed. I push him slightly and he sits on the edge as his lips attack my neck and chest.

"I get one more night with Bella Swan, huh?" He murmurs against my stomach as he pulls my nightgown up over my body. "One more night with my girl."

"Mmm, I'm always gonna be your girl, Edward." I say, biting my lip to keep from moaning as he ghosts his lips and fingertips over my breasts.

I lean my head back and close my eyes as he works my body into a fine frenzy. I can feel him shaking his head against my chest.

"Tomorrow you'll be my wife." He whispers as he pushes my tits together and runs his tongue over each of my nipples. "Mrs. Bella Cullen."

I feel his grip tighten and I smile because I know how a little part of him gets off on the possessive aspect of me taking his name. His kisses turn into nips and bites and languid licks as my Edward is this close to losing his last bit of composure. _I fucking love it_.

I feel his fingers pulling at the sides of my panties and drawing them down my legs. I look down and our eyes meet. He gives me his signature knowing smirk. The one that sets me on fire and makes me want to surrender to his will. He leans back and adjusts himself over his pants. The outline of his cock through his dress pants is all I need to see as I drop to my knees. I make quick work of his belt and fly; Edward lifts his ass and pushes his pants down his legs. I go for it, taking every inch of him into my mouth while palming the base of his cock. In an instant his hands are in my hair and a deep groan rumbles through his chest.

I lose my ever-loving mind slurping and humming all over his length. I love the encouragement he gives with his random 'oh Gods', his cries of 'fuck yes' as I flatten my tongue and run it up and down his shaft before placing him fully in my mouth once more. He twitches in my mouth slightly as I graze him gently with my teeth and I can't help but smile. Over the years I am proud to say that I have perfected this shit. I can get my man off in five minutes flat if he's sober. Seven minutes if he's drunk. The trick is in the tongue and teeth. As I trace the veins of his shaft with my tongue, I feel him pulling me up to stand.

He lifts my leg and places it next to him on the bench, placing small kisses up my inner thigh. Within seconds, my folds are spread and his tongue is working my pussy like only he can. I whimper and moan as I push his face in deeper as he flicks his tongue over and sucks hard on my clit. His hair feels soft in my hands as I clutch it tightly when he starts squeezing my ass cheeks and pulling me to him further.

My hips are grinding and rolling over his face on their own accord. Once he adds his fingers to the mix I am barely able to stand. My legs are trembling and I swear my knees are gonna give. I can feel the rumble of his laugh vibrate against my tender flesh. He fucking loves that he can ruin me. His eyes are on mine as he slides his fingers inside of me teasing and massaging my inner walls until he finds his spot. He prods faster and harder until my entire body jerks and sputters and obscenities fall from my lips.

Edward pulls me forward to straddle his lap. I practically collapse onto him as my knees are still wobbly. I am so amped up I want to just impale myself on his cock. But he has something else in mind.

"Slow baby. I want to take my time with you tonight. Give it to me slow." He speaks softly against my lips gently tracing my face and jaw with his fingertips as my opening hovers over the head of his cock.

His eyes are pleading as he rubs his tip back and forth over my slit, teasing me into tender submission. So I give him what he wants, sinking down his length at an agonizingly slow pace as he fills and stretches me. Rolling my hips and grinding hard each time I bottom out. He grips my hip guiding me up and down as he watches his dick disappears in and out of me with rapt fascination.

We continue this leisurely pace for several minutes with gentle touches and soft moans and murmurs of appreciation. Now normally, I like slow. No, I love slow. But I don't want slow. Not tonight at least. I want him to have me. Claim me. His lips and tongue and fingertips are busy worshipping my tits as I lean forward to kiss and lick the shell of his ear.

"I want more, baby." I whisper as I quicken my pace ever so slightly.

"More?" He asks with his brow puckered in confusion.

I drag my nails down his back to make my intentions clear. Our skin slaps together as he drives his pelvis up to meet me for the first time. His eyes darken and I realize that he's caught on to what I need. He holds me tighter as he pulls me further down his length. Our kisses become a hot mess of tangled tongues, lip smacks and moans as his fingers roughly roam over my chest and collarbone. Running his hands down my torso once more, he grips my thighs preventing me from moving over his dick. Desperate for friction, I try to gyrate on the base of his cock which is fully sheathed inside of me when he slaps my ass loudly.

"Get on the bed, baby doll." He commands as he lifts me off of his length.

Maneuvering around him, I slink backwards onto the bed until my back meets the headboard. With his dick in his hand, he stalks towards me with dark eyes and his jaw tight. Inwardly I squeal because I know he is about to put it on me.

"Spread your legs, Isabella."

I can't comply fast enough as he kneels between my legs stroking himself roughly. I see the vein in his forehead bulging slightly and I know we are t-minus thirty seconds from my dirty boy joining the party. Hmm… Perhaps a little encouragement is in order because I can't resist a dirty talking, hard fucking Edward Cullen.

He scoots my body down the bed and bends my knees, tilting my pelvis. I put my hands above my head and smile knowingly before biting my lip. I am assuming the position. It's one of his favorites and the smug as fuck smile on his face confirms it as he runs his palm up my torso and squeezes one of my tits before continuing up my arm to hold my hands in place. He runs his tongue up the front of my throat to my chin and slides his tongue across my bottom lip before speaking gruffly against it.

"You still want more, baby doll?"

He punctuates his question with a smack of his fingertips against my clit causing me to audibly whimper as I nod and begin to beg.

"Yes. Yes, please. More!"

His lips are hovering over my jaw and his hot breath fans over my face as he works my clit over with his fingers.

"Tell me what you need, my Bella. I'll fucking give you anything."

The growl in his voice lets me know that he's here at the tipping point with me. That fine line between making love and all out fucking. The head of his cock is resting at and teasing my entrance with his hips cocked and poised to strike. I'll happily take whatever he is willing to give, but truthfully, I want nothing more than for him to slam into me wildly. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him into me all the while trying to squeeze the shit out of his cock with my inner walls. Hopefully he will get the hint. I hear him grunt the minute his balls slam against my ass.

"Ahh FUCK!" He shouts.

He tightens his grip on my hands and reaches around for a handful of my ass with his free hand. He thrusts into me harder this time and I swear my eyes roll to the back of my head like a goddamn slot machine. _Fucking jackpot!_ I can't help myself, I moan his name aloud.

There is nothing, I repeat, nothing hotter on the face of this earth than watching Edward Cullen lose his shit. His voice is low and gritty as the dirty words roll off of his tongue and I swear they make my nipples pucker and my walls clench.

"Fuck you feel good, Bella! Nice and tight around my cock. You like taking that cock, don't you baby doll?"

I am a shaking, panting mess as I nod frantically as he increases his furious pace.

"You want it harder, don't you baby? You like it when I tear it up!"

He doesn't give me the chance to answer a resounding 'yes' because his lips are on mine and taking in my moans and cries for 'more' as his hips slam into me harder. I think he's probably trying to prevent Y-ella from waking up the entire household. I can laugh about that shit now, but when Chocolate Thunder spilled the beans on my nickname, I was beyond mortified. Who knows what crazy shit the guys overheard me saying, or yelling, I guess, over the years.

"Close baby. So close." He warns as he nips my earlobe.

I am just about there. His thrusts become uneven and jerky and I take full advantage as his pelvic bone grinds against my clit.

"Come on, baby" Edward snarls in my ear as both of his hands intertwine with mine above my head, locking them in a vice tight grip. "Give it to me!"

Two more deep thrusts are all it takes to bring everything crashing down around us, literally as one of the frames on the wall above us falls down narrowly missing our joined hands. My entire body stiffens under his as he empties and twitches within me. A deep groan and a whispered declaration of 'I love you' escapes from behind his clenched teeth and I swear it reverberates through my entire being. Panting and sweaty, our eyes meet briefly before we begin to laugh hysterically.

"Pay up, baby doll." He demands with his smug grin back in place.

Huffing I search around the floor and find the twenty dollar bill I brought. I slap it into his hand with an eye roll.

"Told you that you couldn't resist this." He taunts as he crudely grabs his junk.

I start putting my pajamas back on to make the 200 foot walk of shame back to the guest room.

"So are you excited for tomorrow?"

I nod, smiling brilliantly and blushing like an idiot.

He leans over and kisses my cheek. "Me too."

Throwing on his boxers, he walks me to his door. "I'll meet you at the altar, my Bella."

"Yeah, I'll be the liar in white." I say with a snort and a smirk since it is obvious that my fiancé just had his wicked, wicked way with me.

He smiles his crooked grin as I kiss him quickly and tip-toe quietly back to my room.

~IYR~

I expect the morning of my wedding to be pure chaos, but it's not, it's actually quite pleasant. Victoria is successful in making my hair and make-up look natural but glamorous. As far as I can tell she is a goddamn miracle worker for the way she conceals the circles under my eyes. Now no one will be the wiser of my late night activities with my fiancé, although I have a sneaking suspicion that Esme is on to me.

"Shit!" Rose shouts as she stuffs tissues into her bra. "I forgot my nursing pads; I am going to leak all over my dress."

"I'm sorry, what?" Tanya asks with a disbelieving look. "They leak?"

I am pretty sure if there were a jukebox in the room it would skip bringing the music to a screeching halt.

Rose looks at her like she has a third tit. "Uh yeah. They leak. You should see them sometimes in the shower; I look like that one Katy Perry video where she squirts icing everywhere."

Truthfully, I think we all could have done without the shower visual, but when I see the look on Tanya's face, it is more than fucking worth it.

"Ugh, I am going to vomit. Tell me again why you subject yourself to that."

And so it begins, the breast is best discussion. I tune out and look in the mirror as I notice my mom and Esme proudly beaming behind me. I smile back through the reflection. My dad is at my side in an instant looking slightly verklempt.

"It's showtime ladies… and Charlie!" Alice yells over the noise. "Rose, are your boobs under control or do you need a couple of bra cups?"

My poor dad cringes and may or may not swallow back some vomit.

"I think I'm good just as long as Liam keeps it together." Rose says inspecting her chest making sure that her tits are even with the stuffing.

"You look beautiful baby girl!" My mom whispers in my ear as Phil and Carlisle come to escort her and Esme down the aisle.

"Ya' ready kid?" Charlie says as we link arms, waiting on our cue from Alice.

I can only nod as I am overcome with emotion. The French doors open and Charlie and I step forward. I see him in an instant. He smiles my favorite smile at me. It is the smile from the quad where he set my entire body on fire with a look. It's the smile from the night at my dorm where he made his intentions clear that I was who he wanted. And it is the exact same smile from the night that he asked me to be his wife.

Charlie gives me away and I swear I see his mustache twitch and his eyes tear up. Edward mouths the word 'beautiful' to me as he looks me up and down in my one of a kind Alice Brandon strapless mermaid cut gown. I can feel the blush creep up my cheeks. Standing in front of our friends and family, Edward and I exchange rings and vows and seal them with a kiss.

The rest of the night is pure and utter chaos as we pose for picture after picture, cut the cake, and toss the bouquet and garter. It isn't until Edward pulls me onto the makeshift dance-floor under the stars for our first dance as husband and wife that I finally feel like I can breathe.

Our wedding song starts playing in the background as Edward pulls me close.

"I think I forgot to tell you earlier – Happy Gotcha Day." I say into his ear as our hands intertwine over his heart.

"Mmm. Thank you Mrs. Cullen."

My heart practically beats out of my chest when he says my new name. _I love it_.

"Are you happy, baby?" I ask quietly meeting his eyes.

"Immensely so," he replies confidently. "Now I have everything I could ever want or need."

I giggle as he nuzzles my neck with his nose. "Is that so? And here I was under the impression that you've had me all along."

He smiles his dazzling smile and kisses me lightly on the lips before speaking against them. "You're my wife and my life… And you'll always be… my Bella."

* * *

**A/N: And that's all she wrote, dolls! I think I have one more story in me, so if you are interested, make sure to put me on author alert.**

**Special Thanks: **

**Lovin Rob - You are a saint for putting up with my brand of crazy. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of the encouragement, the hand-holding, the pimpage, the laughs and the ungodly amount of hours you spent making this story fit for public viewing. I will never be able to find the words to truly express my gratitude for all that you've done – just know that I love and appreciate you more than you know. **

**Mr. Lay – In the event that you ever actually do read this fic – thank you for always being so supportive. Whether it was making dinner so I could do review replies or doing the night-time routine so I could finish a chapter – it never went unnoticed. Your quiet encouragement means the world me. **

**The Reviewers – I think I say some variation of this in my review replies but in all seriousness – I am so grateful for all of your kind words, thoughts and feedback. I've made some wonderful friends through the review/reply process. You guys made this so much fun for me, so thank you!**

**Recs:**

_**Alphabet Weekends**_** by the-glory-days – I still love every minute of this story – sweet, funny and S-E-X-Y. **

_**Burn**_** by Compass54 – this is a new WIP and it has me hooked – check it out**

**As always, thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, fav'd, followed, rec'd, pimped, tweeted and lurked this fic! **

**Stay classy, fandom! LayAtHomeMom – OUT!**


	24. Chapter 24 - Back That Azz Up

**Rating M**

**WARNING – Awkward anal sex ahead. If that's not your bag, just walk away Renee.**

**A special thank you to my beta LovinRob, pre-reader Carrie ZM and favorite fiction enthusiast Heather Maven for encouraging me to make my ass-pirations of writing an anal lemon a reality. **

***Bows grandly* **

**Alright – let's get weird. **

* * *

Chapter 24 – Back That Azz Up

"I'm sorry. What?" Tanya shrieks as she leans forward across our booth and tilts her head towards me. "Say that in my good ear."

I give her my best McKayla Maroney not impressed face and cross my arms over my chest.

"You're finally going to do it? " She mimics my position and shakes her head with a smirk. "You're actually gonna let him drop anchor in your anal bay?" She smiles at her clever quip. "You're gonna let him _finally_ cruise your Hershey highway?"

With a nod and an eye roll, I signal for her to bring it as I know she has at least one more ridiculous euphemism up her sleeve.

"Okay, last one I swear. Are you really letting him pump your rump?"

"Will you lower your voice?" I say through my teeth as I watch the older gentleman across from us as he pats his choking wife on the back.

"Fine," She complies in a whisper, "but why am I being made privy to this information?"

I explain to her that on my 29th birthday, I put together a list of things I'd like to do before I turn the big 3-0. All items on the list are complete except for one. Clearly I am a procrastinator, leaving this pain in the ass task until the very end. Tanya is practically vibrating with giddiness as she demands to see the list.

"Hmm. Learn to crochet. Do a stain-glass project. Finish a scrapbook?" She shakes her head in disgust. "My grandma called and said she wants her senior center syllabus back."

Thankfully, she reads through the rest of the list silently until she gets to the last item and murmurs it aloud. "Number 30 - Do something I said I'd never ever do."

My aversion to anal is legendary amongst my husband and our friends. It is common knowledge that his dick is not to be any less than a taints length away from my rear entrance, but a wild, drunken night in Mexico has me looking at things a little differently. She hands me back my list and begins stirring the ice in her margarita.

"So I suppose you have some questions for me then? Like what to expect or how to prepare?"

I stare at her curiously for a moment. "Prepare?"

"Well yeah," She mocks loudly. "Are you wearing a butt plug or have you been stretching yourself with a vibe or dildo? You know, we are doing a new jeweled butt plug line. Esme wants to call it _BejAssle Butt Plugs_."

"Sshhh! Will you quiet down! No. Absolutely not." I whisper-yell completely mortified. "He uses his fingers back there now and again, but that's it. I am just, I don't know, nervous. I, um, I want some advice on things like lube and maybe some relaxation techniques."

In typical Tanya fashion, she crinkles her eyes and smirks at my embarrassment. "I'm sure over the years we've had this discussion, but humor me. What exactly are you afraid of again?"

I look at her like she has three tits and horns growing out of her skull. "Are you serious?" I ask incredulously while trying to keep my shriek to a dull roar. "How about shitting on him? Literally shitting on my husband? Or how about getting hemorrhoids from it, hmm? Or I don't know, taking a giant cock up my ass?"

The teenage server walks up behind me as I reveal my deepest anal sex related fears and I am certain she heard the tail end of my concerns. Her face is as red as mine as she asks what else she can get for us.

"Just the check please." Tanya says completely composed as the young girl pulls the leather billfold from her apron and places it on the table.

"For starters, you can't get hemorrhoids from ass fucking. You are a doctor's wife, for fucks sake. How do you not know that shit?" She explains as she stuffs her cash into the server book. "Secondly, finish your drink; we are going on a field trip."

~IYR~

We hop in her car and Tanya schools me on the anal basics. She covers everything from breathing techniques to positions that maximize ease and comfort. She explains this shit so thoroughly; I try to recall if she wrote her master thesis on it. I tune her out when she starts talking about the stretching and butt plugs again. The chances of any type of BejAssled butt plug getting near my backside is slim to none and slim just left town. I defer to Meatloaf on the matter. _I will do anything for love, but I won't do that._

"You know, Ty and I like to do it on our sides so he can use our bullet on me." Tanya says dreamily like she's talking about a romantic vacation to Paris.

I am having a flashback of walking in on them getting busy in our dorm room and I cringe. I can't tell if I am in awe of or terrified for Tanya's anus. I mean, if she takes her own advice, she'd have to use at least 2 regular size butt plugs to stretch her backdoor in preparation to do the tush-push with what Chocolate Thunder is working with. I inwardly salute her hardworking orifices.

While I fully expect her to drive me to a seedy adult store or to her office so we can raid the sample sex toy storeroom, I am pleasantly surprised when we pull into a Walgreens instead. Anonymity is still a must for me as I pull my oversized glasses onto my face as we walk through the automatic doors. Of course Tanya demands that I remove said glasses immediately as she shoves a basket into my chest and motions for me to follow her.

I unconsciously hum the Mission Impossible theme song as we amble through the store while Tanya snickers at my ridiculousness. While all the normal consumers peruse everyday convenience items, I am being led to the lube aisle for another lesson in all things anal by my own personal ass fucking authority.

"Okay, I myself am an Astro-Glide gal." She tosses a bottle of lube into my basket and turns to the great wall o' condoms behind us.

"Good to know." I say as I pick up every bottle with the Astro-Glide logo on it and throw it into the basket.

"Bella, you don't need six bottles of lube. One will suffice." She explains as she gently tries to pull the basket from my hands.

"Oh yeah, well what if I have sensitive skin? Hmm?" I retort as I pull the basket back roughly. "Or what if he likes a nice strawberry scent as he's putting it in the poop chute?" My voice is a bit loud, so I lower it considerably as I whisper my rationale. "I just want to cover my bases, T."

"Okay Sybil, can I talk to Bella now?"

I shrug my shoulders. I am not crazy; I just want to be extremely prepared as I grab all four giant Trojan variety packs that the store has to offer.

"Alright, T. What's the next stop, the laxative aisle? Or should I just go with an enema?"

I hear Tanya as she giggles behind me, but I don't bother to see what she finds so funny. That is until I turn around only to be face-to-face with one of the LPN's from Edward's office, Mary and her daughter Tia.

"Hey… you…" I practically yell.

I try to move my basket behind my back, but it is too late. The look on Mary's face is priceless as she eyes the basket full of prophylactics and assorted lubes. She must think that Edward and I are throwing some kind of wild oil wrestling orgy.

"Uh. Hi!" Mary replies in an equally high-pitched voice as she pushes her daughter towards the pharmacy far, far away from the crazy lady who is the good doctor's wife by day and sexual deviant by night. "Just picking up a script. Tell Edward I said 'hello'."

I wave awkwardly and exit the aisle silently cursing my friend for making me take off the glasses. I find said friend two aisles over, cackling, snorting and holding her privates. I give her the finger and tell her that I hope she pisses her pants. Once she is able to compose herself, we walk to the check-out, but not before Tanya throws a box of chocolate covered cherries into my basket and gives me a wink.

"A dessert before he gets to sample the real chocolate covered cherry, doll."

~IYR~

I light candles throughout the bedroom and set the lube and condoms on the nightstand. I place the bottles in a straight line and make sure each label is facing forward, just like Julia Roberts in _Sleeping with the Enemy_. As I toss the plastic wrap box in the closet, I give myself a final once over in the mirror on the door. My hair is tousled and teased and my lingerie leaves very little to the imagination. Although I am terribly nervous, I know I am ready.

At ten to eight I hear the hum of the garage door. _Showtime_. I grab a chocolate covered cherry from the bowl on the nightstand and make my way downstairs to welcome my husband home properly.

"Baby doll, where you at?" He yells as he walks through the door.

"Right here," I answer in a sing-song voice as I pour and down a double shot of liquid courage. I turn to meet his gaze. "Welcome home."

Even after so many years of marriage, the sight of him still does things to me. His tie is loosened, hair in disarray and he is smiling the smug crooked smirk that only adds to his sexual swagger. His mouth is on mine instantly, teasing and tasting my tequila laced tongue. His hands slide down my body until they each rest on my ass.

"I've got a surprise for you," I say against his mouth before I trace the chocolate covered cherry over his bottom lip. "Come upstairs."

I don't need to tell him twice as he practically sprints to the bedroom with me and the Patrón bottle in tow. I open the door to our candlelit sanctuary.

"Surprise!"

He looks puzzled and rubs the back of his neck. "Why does our bedroom look like Dexter's kill room?"

I survey the room. While the atmosphere is romantic, the bed is covered in plastic sheeting. He's right; the only things I am missing are the duct tape and a rubber apron.

"Merely a precaution," I explain as I let my hands drift over his chest and begin unbuttoning his shirt. "Tonight we are going to try something new. Something I've never done before. Something I suspect you've wanted to do for awhile."

"Oh yeah? What's that?" He asks as he runs a finger over the tops of my breasts while I fiddle with his belt.

_Moment of truth time_. I take his finger and place it against my mouth. "You've had me here." He smiles as I drag his finger down the length of my body and right between my legs. "And you've had me here."

As I pull his hand around to my backside, I see the realization in his eyes. "And if you want to, you can have me here, too." I whisper as he starts roughly gripping my ass cheek.

He hesitates for a few moments, probably waiting for me to tell him that I am fucking with him. "What changed your mind?"

A flood of memories overtakes me. _Edward and I as we dance and drink and kiss in a club. Our sweat soaked bodies against the netting of the bed as we fuck like animals. The dirty words that roll off his tongue as his dick pounds me from the front and his fingers fuck me in the back. _ My answer comes in the form of a breathy moan.

"Mexico."

He slams his mouth onto mine as he kisses me deeply, lustfully until I am practically breathless. It is the most deliciously painful yet pleasuring kiss, and I am starving for more when he stops abruptly and leads me to sit on my hope chest at the end of our bed.

Still panting from his kiss, I pull his pants and boxers down to release the Kraken and wrap my lips around him. I receive a rough grunt in thanks while he winds his fingers in my hair, setting a slow pace as he pushes his length into my waiting mouth. His eyes are on mine as he watches me stroke him while alternating between sucking him deeply and working up his shaft with my tongue. Lightly scraping my fingernails up and down his thighs earns me a shiver and a tightening of his grip in my hair. I moan around him and trace the tip of my tongue under and around the head of his cock and give his slit a quick swipe.

Within seconds, he removes his cock with a groan and pulls my hair down and my face up for yet another lust infused kiss and his first of many commands. "Take your clothes off, baby doll."

I begin unhooking the eyes of the corset as he steps around the bed to remove the plastic wrap. "Care to tell me what the plastic is for?" He inquires amusedly as he unwraps the pillows as well.

I am slightly embarrassed as I recall strutting to the check-out of the Home Depot with the industrial sized box of plastic sheeting thinking I was a goddamn genius. "In case of an emergency, you know a _code brown."_

"A code brown…" He shakes his head and smiles at my idiocy.

"Yes, and by the way, _code brown_ is my safeword as well. If I should say that word you need to pull out and get far, far away."

He inspects the selection of lube and condoms with the same smirk he uses when he is trying not to laugh at me. "Quite a lube selection you have here – but I think I just prefer using butter."

I want to absolutely vomit thinking about getting butter butt-banged _Last Tango in Paris_ style when I remember a certain situation that I need to make him aware of. "Uh, yeah…" I drag out the last word. "About that. I ran into Mary when I bought those and I think she may have seen the contents of my basket. It may get weird when you see her on Monday so... sorry about that."

My corset falls to the ground as I watch his shoulders shake with laughter. He holds up the chocolate covered cherries to compliment Tanya's contribution. "Nice touch."

I shimmy out of my panties and climb onto the bed on all fours. I can feel the heat of his gaze on me as he takes a long swig from the Patrón bottle while I make my way to the top of the bed slowly.

"Lie on your back, Isabella." He orders me in a low and husky voice as the rest of his clothes hit the floor. "And spread those legs."

I comply quickly, excited by his tone and blunt directives. His fingertips trace up my ankle and leg followed immediately by the cold liquor soaked tip of his tongue.

Hitching my knees over his shoulders, he slides his hands under my ass and squeezes gently. I close my eyes as I feel his mouth as it nears my center. He lingers there for a few seconds before he murmurs the word 'beautiful' and swipes his flat tongue over my clit. And just like a match head, my entire body ignites with a single strike.

His hands hold me in place as his mouth taunts and teases and snarls against me. Ours is a familiar dance, perfected by years of practice. Everything is well rehearsed from the arch of my back, to the expected gasp he receives when he pulls at my clit with his teeth. And although it is my hands roaming and plucking and pulling at my chest, my body is fully under Edward's command.

"Oh, God… yes!" I bellow as the tip of his tongue slips inside of me curling and turning as it goes.

I writhe and moan against him as he alternates between lapping and sucking and flicking at my hypersensitive bundle of nerves.

He drags his tongue up and down one more time over my core before he smiles against me. I feel his hands travel up the backs of my trembling thighs and he pushes my knees towards my chest. I hold my breath as his mouth lowers further down between my legs. My eyes are shut tightly as I think back to the steamy night in Mexico when his tongue and fingers made their acquaintance with that particular area of my anatomy. I remember the foreign but fantastic sensation and desperately hope that it is as good in reality as it is in my drunken hazy memories.

I cover my face as the realization hits that my husband's tongue was inching close to no man's land and I do the unthinkable. I laugh. I laugh hard and embarrassingly loud. His head pops up from between my legs, his expression is amused.

"I can't," I shake my head. "I'm sorry, I just can't. I must have been beyond drunk to let that happen before."

His smile grows as he nods and climbs up my body. He gently places his lips against my neck and whispers. "How about we work up to that one, huh? I think we have enough to tackle tonight."

Weaving my fingers through his hair, I pull him in for another long languid kiss as his fingers slip down my torso and between my folds. Unconsciously I grind against his hand, giving me the friction I am so desperately seeking. The intensity of the kiss grows as his fingers pump roughly inside of me. He groans against my mouth when my hand grips his length to stroke it in time with his fingers. His mouth is at my ear in an instant, grunting out his next instruction.

"Get on your knees for me, love."

As if on autopilot, I roll over instantly and lean forward on my elbows, arching my spine. I peek at him over my shoulder and watch as he admires the presentation of my new position which he seems to enjoy, immensely so. The bed dips as he reaches over to the nightstand and I blow out a deep breath. _It's go time_. He must notice the slight trembling because he immediately begins placing closed mouth kisses up my spine. He brushes my hair over my shoulder and tilts my face towards his.

"We're going to go slow. I need for you to relax, okay?" he advises as he kissing me tenderly on top of my shoulder, "Let me make you feel good, Bella."

And with that, he traces a line of kisses down my back. Rubbing the head of his cock up and down my over my clit and then my slit before he slowly slips it inside. I shut my eyes as I receive him and bask in the first stroke as my vaginal walls stretch and tighten around him. A small whimper escapes my lips as I feel him flush against my backside. He holds it there, unmoving. I then hear the click of the lube cap and the sound of the liquid as it gushes out over his fingers.

Slowly, deftly and delicately, he rubs and circles the lube over my puckered hole. I shudder slightly as he adds a little more pressure with each measured pass. His hips flex and he begins lightly thrusting in time with the circling of his fingers. I am so caught up in his teasing thrusts that I tense when he pushes his finger forward. He continues his small tight circles until he edges his finger all the way inside of me. The discomfort is slight but bearable and although it still feels like an intrusion, the smallest pleasurable sensation begins to grow as his finger starts mimicking the intensity of his thrusts.

He groans deeply behind me, so I steal a glance at what he is seeing back there. His eyes are on where we are joined as he runs his tongue over his bottom lip. I turn away and hum softly when I feel him work another finger into the mix. I suck my lips into my mouth, trying not to yelp. Just like before, he enters so slowly that the pressure rises infinitesimally with each pass until the second finger settles deep within.

He alternates between the two, one in, one out and continues this delicious rhythm until my entire body is sweating and quivering in anticipation of my release. He grumbles and swears under his breath and slaps his hand against my ass.

"Do you like how that feels baby doll? Huh?"

"Oh God. Edward. Please." I beg for more. "So good, baby. Give it to me harder!"

I grind into him as he pounds into me fast and hard setting a quick, rough pace. My muscles tighten around him and I whimper as I dangle dangerously close to falling over the edge. Sensing how close I am he thrusts a few more times and exits both holes with a throaty moan. The bed dips once more as he reaches for the condoms.

"Lie on your back for me baby." He rasps in a gravelly voice as he grabs two pillows from above me. "I need to see you."

As soon as I turn over, he lifts my hips and places the pillows beneath my ass. Hovering over me, he brushes a hair out of my eyes and kisses me reverently. I watch as he rolls the condom down his shaft and we both chuckle when he fumbles a bit with it. He captures my lips once more and places his forehead against mine. Breathing deeply and stroking himself against me lightly, his eyes burn into mine as he searches my face for any signs of backing out.

"You sure you want to do this, baby?" He asks anxiously as he traces my jaw line with his thumb.

"Absolutely." I say with confidence and smile at the relief that washes over his face. He kisses me once, twice, three times before he raises off of my body and prepares to boldly go where no man has gone before.

Closing my eyes, I concentrate on my breathing just as Tanya suggested. I try not to focus on the sound coming from the latex as he massages the slick lubricant over his condom covered cock. And I attempt not to tense as his fingers generously spread some more of the slippery liquid over my back entrance. I hear him exhale deeply as he places his tip against my virgin opening and wince as he begins pushing forward slowly. Each movement is deliberate and measured. I don't know if I classify what I am feeling as pain, more like a building pressure with a heaping helping of discomfort. Reading my body, Edward circles his thumb firmly over my clit and palms my breast, distracting me from the foreign stretching sensation I am feeling.

"Agh, fuck!" He hisses as his dick gets about three-fourths of the way in. "So fuckin' tight, baby doll."

I gasp and my eyes pop open as he unexpectedly dips two fingers into my pussy. His eyes are focused, staring intensely at where he is entering me. His mouth parts slowly as his hips come to a halt once his cock is fully sheathed inside of me. I fist the sheets and bite back a whine as the feeling of fullness washes over me. Licking his lips, I can tell both he and his cock are savoring the sensation. I suck in the air through my teeth when he pulls his fingers out of my body causing him to notice my eyes on him.

"You okay?" He asks with this hand ready to pull out if need be.

I nod frantically and give him my best attempt at a grin, considering I have a huge dick in my ass and all.

He smiles in relief and leans forward to kiss me.

"So no code brown?" He jokes as our lips are about to meet.

I roll my eyes and shake my head. "Not yet."

He kisses me firmly, latching onto my mouth greedily, teasing my tongue with his. A fitting distraction as I am sure he is desperate to move, so I decide to help him out a bit as I grab his ass and pull him deeper.

_Big mistake_. "Ow! Shit!" I shout, releasing his ass.

His eyes grow wide and I realize what I just screamed. I shake my head and clarify. "Not literal shit. Just, ah. Just give me a moment."

_Play through the pain. Play through the pain. Play through the pain._ I chant over and over in my head.

His eyes are assessing me and I can tell he is considering jumping ship so to speak so I give him the most serene smile I can manage. He pecks small kisses up my jaw until he reaches my ear, sucking my lobe into his mouth and breathing deeply through his nose. A small growl rumbles in his chest as his new positioning shifts him ever so slightly inside of me.

"Close your eyes, love," he murmurs against my jaw and runs his fingertips across my collarbone, down my chest to roll my nipple between his fingers, "I'm gonna go real slow, baby," he assures me as his hand scratches lightly up and down my ribs and stomach before letting his hand wander further south as he inhales and exhales deeply, "And I'm going to make you cum so hard, Bella. "

I whimper at his promise and the fact that his thumb and fingers are back rubbing over my tender flesh with a new vigor. His index and middle finger are slamming into me, curling and searching for that spot that makes me scream. My breathing hitches embarrassingly as this man works my pussy over like it's his job. He has me wet to the point of audible squelching and sopping.

"Fuck, yes!" I cry as my thighs tremble and shake as I near my climax again.

He starts pumping his hips slowly in and out, pulling out further with each tentative stroke. It burns so bad. I open my eyes and watch him as he grunts softly with each thrust. His jaw is tight; every muscle is flexed in concentration on my comfort and pleasure. I feel a bit guilty that our tryst is a bit like a reverse mullet, a party in the front and all business in the back. Edward should be allowed to party, too.

He must feel the weight of my stare because he instantly locks eyes with me. His green eyes are smoldering with warring emotions. I can tell he wants to be tender and gentle, but I know that deep down, he'd love to let loose on my ass. Although he'd never admit it aloud, especially to me, since I am essentially the card-carrying Anti-Ass Sex Association founder and president.

"Edward," I say softly so I don't alarm him but he stops immediately, "Pull out for a second."

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" He asks concerned, kneeling between my legs.

I shake my head and reposition myself raising my legs upward and wrapping my elbows around my knees, spreading myself crudely. As if my posturing isn't invitation enough, I add a bit of incentive.

"Have me. Have me the way you want to, Edward."

He only hesitates slightly before he smiles like the kid who got the Golden Ticket and cocks a brow as if to ask if I was sure about this. He leans forward and kisses my lips hungrily before stopping abruptly to growl into my mouth.

"I fuckin' love you, Bella Cullen."

Before I can respond, he is hovering over me with his cock in hand and poised to enter. He slips in with ease, and while the burn and discomfort still ebbs, it's worth it to see my husband's eyes close and hear his moan of pleasure. He grabs the back of my knees so I can use my hands on myself. I reach down and spread my lips and dip my finger in a bit before pulling it out and circling my clit.

"That's a good girl, Bella." He grits out as he bites his lip watching me. "Rub that pretty little pussy for me."

His pace quickens and his short strokes are now jerky thrusts with a bit of a swivel at the end. My eyes desperately want to roll to the back of my head, but I don't want to miss this. Grunting and mumbling curses through clenched teeth, Edward is seconds from cumming. I'm so close and try everything in my instant orgasm arsenal to take me over the edge – I want it so fucking bad.

He must sense my dilemma because he instantly takes action releasing my legs and batting my hands away from my lady bits. Before I can get my bearings, he has three fingers pumping inside of me knuckle deep, and his thumb pressed firmly underneath the hood of my clit. _Yahtzee_. His magic fingers instantly set off my climax which has me screaming and panting his name and clawing at his arms and shoulders like a mad woman.

On the brink of his own explosive orgasm, he drives his hips into my body a few more times wildly with my lower back taking quite the beating from his ball sack. Stiffening inside of me, I can feel his telltale jerks and tremors deep within. He hisses in pleasure as my entire body quivers and shakes around him. After a few more thrusts he collapses on my chest as we try to get our breathing back to normal and come down from each of our respective releases. I mindlessly comb my fingers through his hair, silently mourning the loss of my b-hymen as he places small kisses over my chest and collarbone.

Rolling off of me, he leans up on his elbows and rests his head in his hand. His face is serene and sated with just a hint of something else there as well or possibly a combination of things. Reverence? Gratitude? Maybe even a smidge of mirth… Whatever it is, it makes my heart swell and I know that this was so worth it. He takes my hand in his and kisses it gently and mouths the words _thank you, beautiful_ to me. I smile and nod and curl up beside him. We lay there in silence for quite a while when he finally speaks.

"So, was it… everything you thought it would be?" He asks watching my face for a reaction.

Because I am unsure of how I feel about it, I turn the question around on him. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

The smug smirk returns as he rubs gentle circles into the curve of my backside. "Believe me, baby doll. I loved every second of tapping that ass."

_Eloquent. So fucking eloquent._ He wags his brows and gestures with his hand that it's my turn to answer his question.

"Well, let's see. Did it hurt as bad as I expected? No. Am I relieved I didn't have a code brown? Yes," he nods in agreement as I continue, "It was far more pleasurable than I expected, but don't expect for me to offer that up on any given day. Like, ever."

"Good! I am glad you said that because from here on out, for birthdays and Christmas, in lieu of Starbucks gift-cards, I think I want anal instead."

I snort, roll my eyes and shrug. "Yeah, sure."

Excitedly he sits up to look at me in shock and awe with a cheesy grin like a kid who just found out he's going to Disneyland. "Really?"

I roll over. "No."

He creeps up behind me and chuckles against my neck before nuzzling it gently. Nuzzling gives way to passionate kisses and roaming hands. Hard and ready, he is all set to enter me again; however his dick is lookin' for love in all the wrong places.

"Nice try," I say as I try to squirm away from his butthole surfer.

He laughs against my cheek. "Come on, B. Just the tip, I swear."

I shake my head. "Wrong hole, fool!"

* * *

**A/N: I thought about entering this into the Let's Do Anal (LDA) Contest, however even when I changed the character names, removed the Kraken, the Chocolate Thunders and the baby dolls – you guys would still know it was me and the contest is anonymous. Make sure to go check out the LDA ****entries at the Lets Do Anal BlogSpot. There are some great entries from some fantastic authors including my beta/boo, Lovin Rob and my galentine, Coldplaywhore. **

**Lay Recs:**

_**The Other Way**_** by Honeybee Meadows – This is a story about love - all kinds of beautiful love and devotion. Unique in every sense of the word – this fic is SO beautifully written – the imagery is just as stimulating as the sexy times. And dolls, there are lots o' sexy times. It is an E/B eventually – them coming together (pun intended) is half the magic. I love this story – truly, madly, deeply. Don't miss this lavender high.**

_**Tip of the Spear**_** by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy - 1,2,3,4 I adore Marine Corp... Edward. TOTS is only12 Chapters in and holy hotness - this story has EVERYTHING! Love, loss, sweet, funny and sexy as hell. Run, don't walk folks, it's a must read.**

**Carrie ZM Recs:**

_**Deviant**_** by Planetblue – Rated 'F' for fucking awesome – snark, smut and the sexiest mustache in fanfiction.**

_**Stolen**_** by Rochelle Allison – ****Dude, its Rochelle Allison. She's like Sting and the Police because every little thing she does is magic... Now go read it...**

**Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, fav'd, rec'd, tweeted, voted for and lurked this fic. You guys make this so much fun!**


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